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Favorite jokes


Talented
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welcome to the forum, @Talented, and great topic!

don't necessarily have a fave, but I found some of these jokes I thought were funny...

 

Question: Why can't gays driver faster than 68 mph?

Answer: Because at 69, they blow a rod.

 

Question: What did one gay sperm say to another?

Answer: How do we find an egg in all of this shit?

 

Question: How do you fit three gay men on one barstool?

Answer: Turn it upside-down!

 

Question: What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay man?

Answer: The fridge does not fart when you pull the meat out!

 

Question: How much semen does a gay guy have?

Answer: A butt load

 

Question: What does a gay horse eat?

Answer: HAAAYYYYYYY!

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In poll results from some years ago, this was voted the best joke in Europe at the time:

A man was telling a co-worker how his wife had gotten furious with him at breakfast that morning, and all over just a simple Freudian slip.
"I meant to say 'Please pass the butter,' " he said, "but instead it came out, 'You fat cow, you've ruined my life.' "

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On 9/14/2021 at 10:10 AM, wsc said:

In poll results from some years ago, this was voted the best joke in Europe at the time:

A man was telling a co-worker how his wife had gotten furious with him at breakfast that morning, and all over just a simple Freudian slip.
"I meant to say 'Please pass the butter,' " he said, "but instead it came out, 'You fat cow, you've ruined my life.' "

Wow I like to think I have a good sense of humor but I read this 3 times and I still don’t get it. Can some kind soul explain it to me? 

BTW the ever popular @Avalon initiated a similar thread a few years ago. I thought my joke was the funniest. I’ll tell it again for your laughing pleasure. 

Q: What’s the difference between an epileptic clam digger and a prostitute with diarrhea?

A: The first one shucks between fits! 😀🤣😜

Edited by Gadfly22
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All of Joan Rivers' jokes except the Anne Frank ones which I hated.

I disagree with Joanie on that - there are some things you don't joke about, and Anne Frank is one of them.  Joan had this rationale that just because she was a legendary Jewish performer and very outspoken about being proud of being Jewish that it gave her free rein to make jokes about the Holocaust.  I thought that was the thing about her I really disliked... and I loved that woman, but that shit just wasn't (a) funny, and (b) cool.

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1 hour ago, Merboy said:

All of Joan Rivers' jokes except the Anne Frank ones which I hated.

"She’s in the Attic!"

God….that one never gets old. 
Sorry you’re unable to enjoy it.
I peed my pants laughing the first time I heard her do that joke. 

Nonetheless, some things just aren’t funny to some people…c’est la vie.

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24 minutes ago, nycman said:

"She’s in the Attic!"

God….that one never gets old. 
Sorry you’re unable to enjoy it.
I peed my pants laughing the first time I heard her do that joke. 

Nonetheless, some things just aren’t funny to some people…c’est la vie.

Here is Joan Rivers' response to those who condemned her for the Anne Frank jokes:

"Sure I do a lot of jokes about Anne Frank. But when you do those jokes, it makes people remember what happened to her. That process of bringing her story back doesn't have to be a serious one. What I say is all nonsense, but it helps to keep her memory alive."

When asked about her controversial jokes about Auschwitz, if there was any subject too serious for her to joke about, Rivers said, "I think that's how we get through life.  That's how I get through it.  You make people laugh.  You laugh, you can deal with it.  Done!"

 

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How many gay men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but the entire staff of the emergency room to get it out. 

What do you call the blonde skeleton you find in the closet?? The 2011 hide-and-go-seek champion. 

Why did God give 1 more I.Q. point to the beauty queen than He gave to a horse? So she wouldn't shit on the stage. 

And now for the dirtiest joke I know...

I always cry during sex. It's the mace. 

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15 hours ago, Gadfly22 said:

Wow I like to think I have a good sense of humor but I read this 3 times and I still don’t get it. Can some kind soul explain it to me? 

BTW the ever popular @Avalon initiated a similar thread a few years ago. I thought my joke was the funniest. I’ll tell it again for your laughing pleasure. 

Q: What’s the difference between an epileptic clam digger and a prostitute with diarrhea?

A: The first one shucks between fits! 😀🤣😜

I think the humor of the joke comes from its absurdity, from the juxtaposition of two unrelated and illogical components, and from a realization that the man must have been holding on to it for so long a time that it finally emerged under the most routine and commonplace circumstance.

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On 9/18/2021 at 3:29 PM, wsc said:

I think the humor of the joke comes from its absurdity, from the juxtaposition of two unrelated and illogical components, and from a realization that the man must have been holding on to it for so long a time that it finally emerged under the most routine and commonplace circumstance.

In other words..........its not funny.

Wow I always thought Euros (other than maybe the Brits) had no sense of humor, but this proves it beyond all doubt!

Wait I guess technically Brits aren't Euros anymore - since Brexit. That's probably why they voted to get out of the EU. People on the continent have no sense of humor!

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