Just need to vent- How do I stop flakes?

[jeezifonly]

It certainly was less confusing when all the business dealings were conducted through a car window in an alley (or in my case, through a carriage door via the footman outside of Belle Watling’s place)

[John]

Dear Kensington Homo,

I am not the closeted old queen you might suspect.  Rather:

-- provider hiring is a side of my life I choose to keep private, and the reasons for that are private too.

-- I am concerned that an electronic transfer might somehow be used--in ways I cannot either know or imagine--to defraud me.  There are many more unscrupulous providers than there are hotels or restaurants. And what recourse will I have?

As to risks.  There are plenty on both sides. My guess is that there may even be as many no show providers as there are clients.  The client does, however, get to keep the money.

yours,

Old John

PS:  Most of my hiring is in continental Europe, but in my native US there are police stings targeting clients.

[+ KensingtonHomo]

1 hour ago, John said:

Dear Kensington Homo,

I am not the closeted old queen you might suspect.  Rather:

-- provider hiring is a side of my life I choose to keep private, and the reasons for that are private too.

-- I am concerned that an electronic transfer might somehow be used--in ways I cannot either know or imagine--to defraud me.  There are many more unscrupulous providers than there are hotels or restaurants. And what recourse will I have?

As to risks.  There are plenty on both sides. My guess is that there may even be as many no show providers as there are clients.  The client does, however, get to keep the money.

yours,

Old John

PS:  Most of my hiring is in continental Europe, but in my native US there are police stings targeting clients.

I didn't assume you were a closeted old queen. I'm not sure why you're projecting that on to me. I literally said there are valid reasons for wanting anonymity. And you don't need to justify or explain that to me or anyone else. 

I don't worry about electronic transfers bc I only use a single Venmo account connected to a credit card. I recommend this or cash. It minimizes risk and provides a degree of anonymity. 

We'll have to agree to disagree on risks. Yes, clients occasionally get scammed or beat up, but violence against sex workers if far more prevalent. If I had my druthers, I'd legalize it all so it wasn't an underground economy. 

[maninsoma]

5 hours ago, John said:

Dear Kensington Homo,

I am not the closeted old queen you might suspect.  Rather:

-- provider hiring is a side of my life I choose to keep private, and the reasons for that are private too.

-- I am concerned that an electronic transfer might somehow be used--in ways I cannot either know or imagine--to defraud me.  There are many more unscrupulous providers than there are hotels or restaurants. And what recourse will I have?

As to risks.  There are plenty on both sides. My guess is that there may even be as many no show providers as there are clients.  The client does, however, get to keep the money.

yours,

Old John

PS:  Most of my hiring is in continental Europe, but in my native US there are police stings targeting clients.

I've never flaked on a provider. 

I have had a few providers fail to show up at my place at the agreed upon date/time who then never responded to my texts/voice messages asking what happened.

A couple of times I have gone to hotels and called providers, as instructed, to either get the room number or have them come meet me in the lobby only to be ghosted.

It's horrible that there are game players on both side of the equation.  As someone else posted, this also happens in the online dating world.  Some people just like being assholes. 

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

6 hours ago, John said:

but in my native US there are police stings targeting clients.

That is VERY, VERY rare.  Mostly urban myth, really.

If and when stings happen, it's about getting the sex worker, not the john.

Also, if you meet in an upscale property, it's unlikely that you'd even be considered a target.  Vice departments don't have that kind of budget.  They work an entirely different echelon of hotel (er, motel).

Of course there's risk to this, but not nearly what you think or imagine.