Just need to vent- How do I stop flakes?

[Daniel84]

Hey guys,

So i just started escorting again and I have had some incredible clients the past two weeks. Today i was supposed to have a 2 hour appointment. I was waiting outside across the street for him to arrive. He stated he was at my apt ( correct location) at the call box. I was watching the front door the entire time. 
 

He was never there and was just a guy screwing around. He then laughs about the whole ordeal of me getting ready and him not showing up. I just don’t understand people. 
 

What is the best advice you can give me to see if clients are real and are really booking time with a provider? 
 

Thank you 

 

[+ m_writer]

*hugs* Sorry you went through that.

This might be a good question for "Ask a provider" although chances are that question has been asked already, so with a little searching, you might find some providers' answers which can help you.

Hope things get better soon.

[sessregny]

Sorry this happened to you; even though I'm not a provider, I can empathize on how you feel.

It's hard to move on from this experience especially if you've planned your evening/day around the appointment.

I hope this does not happen to you again.

This his loss, you're a great masseur, and I'm sure you're also great that everything else (wink).

[handiacefailure]

Sorry you had to go through this.   A lot of client go through this is well with escorts flaking on them or not responding to messages.

I would just consider it a cost of doing business.   A lot of professionals like doctors, lawyers and CPA's have clients that don't show up for their appointment with no explanation.   

Only real way around it is to require a deposit but that could end up costing you some business also.   A lot of clients, including myself, refuse to hire an escort that wants a deposit up front.

[dentjusay]

Flakes gonna flake 🙄. Sorry that this happened to you, but it will likely not be the last time. I'm not an escort, but I'm sure you might develop a sixth sense to potential flakes based on how they text / talk to you. Subtle clues or patterns might link potential flakes / time wasters. From escorts I've met, they didn't have any way to really verify my location or know if I was truly arriving, but maybe try having a backup plan ready just in case this happens again so it's not a complete waste. Get some work done, chores, workout, etc. Good luck man.

Edited September 5, 2021 by dentjusay

[josh282282]

5 hours ago, Daniel84 said:

He was never there and was just a guy screwing around. He then laughs about the whole ordeal of me getting ready and him not showing up. I just don’t understand people. 

Dear Daniel, 

I'm SO sorry you had to experience this. You deserve better. Escorts provide a beautiful service. They bring excitement, intimacy & healing to a broken world. I mean that.

FWIW, I'm a physician & now concentrate solely on outpatient care.  And on my schedule I have no-shows all the time. Its frustrating.  And it harms my other patients who we declined offering an appointment to cuz we were full but we could have helped in the end.  This happens to every outpatient physician.  Any doctor who says differently is being dishonest.

5 hours ago, Daniel84 said:

What is the best advice you can give me to see if clients are real and are really booking time with a provider? 

Ok, my 2 cents worth given I'm a "provider", too (of different sorts):

1) Focus on those you did serve, especially those you really served well.  You cant always hit it out of the ballpark with everyone, so when you know you did well, congratulate yourself & be happy. And you seem to already be doing this as evidenced by your statement: 

5 hours ago, Daniel84 said:

So i just started escorting again and I have had some incredible clients the past two weeks.

Keep remembering those clients.  They will keep you sane.

Ok, specific suggestions:

1) My staff do NOT give an appointment to patients less than an hour away (but doc, I'm only 5 min away from your office!) from the scheduling appt time. If they are 5 min away they will invariably do some errand like stop at Starbucks and THEN be late. Nope. Maybe dont do the "now" appointments?

2) Keep a log of encounter inquires that result in a booked appointment.  Briefly log how they found you (which means you gotta ask them), their tone (they were lewd & sexual from the get go or... seemingly professional... or shy ...or...). Log a "gut reaction" you get from these inquiries (I think this is gonna go well to hhhmm,  I think he sounded sketchy....). Note times/dates of inquiries.  Note how many bank & forth volleys of texts/phone calls till the booking was made. Add more criteria as you seem appropriate.  

       THEN start looking for a trend. For example,  80% of inquires with a booking between 1000 pm & 500 am (the scheduling process time, not the actual meet up time) lead to no-shows but only 20% for other times. With that data, you can start implementing interventions to manage/diminish these time-wasters. For ex: if the above example is true, turn OFF your phone during those times & have an auto text-message go out saying something like you are "out" till the am but you are "VERY interested" in their "inquiry" but this "text will not go thru" so "please repeat your inquiry again tomorrow".  Time-wasters may lose interest & walk away. 

3. For bookings made in advance, try confirming the day before.  For example,  if they make a booking 5 days in advance, inform them during the initial booking process that the day before the appointment you will need a definite confirmation text (email or phone call or whatever you choose) to guarantee the next day appointment. No communication= cancelled appt. Many doctors offices do something similar. Might work for you?

4. My office has a 3 strike rule: 3 no-shows & the patient is discharged from my practice.  No exceptions.  And patients are informed of this. For you: one no-show & never book again. Block their number, too. 

5 While booking, ask their specific goals of the session. Make them articulate their needs. You might be able to see patterns of time-wasters & then decline to book. Maybe time-wasters arent as articulate & you can sense it? Dont book those.

6 If you arent already, consider all confirmed bookings to require a 2-3 min phone conversation to confirm everyone's intentions.  Maybe people are less likely to flake out if they spoke with you in a real, live human being voice versus 100% of the booking process done via text?

7. If talking with a prospective client you sense hesitation/potential flakiness,  dont hesitate to speak to your concern.  "I sense you are a bit unsure of your goals. Let's put off scheduling a definite appointment till we are both on the same page & I know I can give you a rocking-awesome time".

8. Like attracts like. You should strive to be the consummate professional.  Never flake on a client. Its bad charmma & you risk getting a reputation for flakiness & geting like-minded clients.  

Physicians have been honing strategies to decrease no-shows for years, and we are still fine-tuning the strategies, cuz we arent as successful as a group as we want.  Dont get discouraged & keep at it. I'm rooting for you. And come back & let us know how its going!

Hugs.

Josh

 

[+ Lucky]

10 hours ago, Daniel84 said:

Hey guys,

So i just started escorting again and I have had some incredible clients the past two weeks. Today i was supposed to have a 2 hour appointment. I was waiting outside across the street for him to arrive. He stated he was at my apt ( correct location) at the call box. I was watching the front door the entire time. 
 

He was never there and was just a guy screwing around. He then laughs about the whole ordeal of me getting ready and him not showing up. I just don’t understand people. 
 

What is the best advice you can give me to see if clients are real and are really booking time with a provider? 
 

Thank you 

 

@Daniel84Why were you waiting across the street for the client's arrival? Did you suspect a no-show? Or were you screening the client in case you didn't want to massage him? I don't know, of course, but it seems odd.

[Daniel84]

23 minutes ago, Lucky said:

@Daniel84Why were you waiting across the street for the client's arrival? Did you suspect a no-show? Or were you screening the client in case you didn't want to massage him? I don't know, of course, but it seems odd.

This client did the same thing 3 years ago. Saying he arrived and tried using the Callbox. I had a gut feeling this was going to happen again so I was talking to my mom on the phone outside. 
 

while I was outside He said he was at the correct address at the front door. This guy just gets off wasting peoples time. 

[kaboom35]

A bit off topic because I actually would want to meet and keep my appointment with Daniel.   haha.  hey @Daniel84,  you have a rentmen ad or just masseur?    

[+ FrankR]

54 minutes ago, kaboom35 said:

A bit off topic because I actually would want to meet and keep my appointment with Daniel.   haha.  hey @Daniel84,  you have a rentmen ad or just masseur?    

https://rent.men/Jacobla

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

The only surefire way to stop flakes is to accept a small percentage deposit on the time.

Yes, I know this will make heads spin around here, but in terms of proving someone is serious, there's no better way.

On the flip side, you might lose potential other clients doing it.  You've just got to run numbers on it over a few month period to see if it's working.

If you ask nicely, I'm sure that @Kevin Slatercould graph it out for you.

[D21howie]

Daniel here is a good idea.  If you get a new client do a FaceTime call with them.  I had a guy did that with me before we scheduled a time.

[jtwalker]

I’m sorry this happened to you.  Jerks and flakes are never in short supply.

As someone who is not a flake, I can only say that too many boundaries will scare away the business that you do want.  Since I value anonymity, I don’t do FaceTime, photos or deposits myself.  Perhaps you can require some of those things and still hit your sales goals.  You can certainly experiment with it.

However, I’m a businessman too, and no matter what I’ve done, some of my clients are not ideal.  I even have flakes where service is provided and I never collect the fee.

What do I do about it?  Nothing at all.  Most of my clients are wonderful, so I focus on them and let the flakes come and go.  
 

it’s not fair, it’s not right, and you deserve better, but business is business and the flakes will always be there.

[handiacefailure]

4 hours ago, Daniel84 said:

This client did the same thing 3 years ago. Saying he arrived and tried using the Callbox. I had a gut feeling this was going to happen again so I was talking to my mom on the phone outside. 
 

while I was outside He said he was at the correct address at the front door. This guy just gets off wasting peoples time. 

If you flaked on you three years ago why in the world did you agree to meet him again?????

[Gadfly22]

13 hours ago, josh282282 said:

I'm SO sorry you had to experience this. You deserve better. Escorts provide a beautiful service. They bring excitement, intimacy & healing to a broken world. I mean that.

That would be a great bumper sticker for an scort:

Bringing excitement, intimacy & healing to a broken world!

[John]

Every business has difficult and unreliable clients, mine does too.  Take it with a grain of salt and move on.  It's part of the territory.

[sjmuktop]

34 minutes ago, Gadfly22 said:

That would be a great bumper sticker for an scort:

Bringing excitement, intimacy & healing to a broken world!

He's right though, this is what the best escorts do to a tee.

[+ nycman]

6 hours ago, Benjamin_Nicholas said:

If you ask nicely, I'm sure that @Kevin Slatercould graph it out for you.

That sentence just made me hard. 

[BaronArtz]

On 9/4/2021 at 10:36 PM, Daniel84 said:

I was waiting outside across the street for him to arrive. He stated he was at my apt ( correct location) at the call box. I was watching the front door the entire time. 

 

That is pretty weird.  Do you always do that? 

I have been hiring escorts and masseurs for 20+ years.  I have never seen an escort or masseur do that.

Edited September 6, 2021 by BaronArtz

[LJinSouthFlorida]

Sadly I think this really is just part of the job. I’ve been flaked on too, and it’s disappointing and annoying but you take the loss and move on. If anything I’d consider whether or not I’d take another booking from that guy, or ask him for a deposit considering he flaked last time.

About a month ago I was talking to a potential client, he could only do early mornings. I woke up at 5 am to get ready for a 6 am arrival. He had been super communicative and was interested in both this and some personal training the next day. He no showed and never text me again. If he suddenly hit me up now, I wouldn’t say no to the booking, but I’d require a deposit for sure.

[Guest davebk]

Based on my experience with Daniel, he's easy to communicate, quick to close, and shows up on time and ready for fun.  So chalk it up to an asshole and move on to the clients who will appreciate you. 

[Daniel84]

Well the client in question just texted me that he is member on the forum and read this post. 
 

So my question for him why do stand up providers and say you arrived when you clearly never showed up. 
 

His response

 “It’s part of the fun for me”

 

 

[Daniel84]

On 9/5/2021 at 11:19 AM, kaboom35 said:

A bit off topic because I actually would want to meet and keep my appointment with Daniel.   haha.  hey @Daniel84,  you have a rentmen ad or just masseur?    

I have two ads one on rent men on jacobla and Rent Massure 

[Daniel84]

5 hours ago, BaronArtz said:

That is pretty weird.  Do you always do that? 

I have been hiring escorts and masseurs for 20+ years.  I have never seen an escort or masseur do that.

This guy has flaked on me before. I wanted to make sure if he was flaking on me again. 

[jtwalker]

2 hours ago, Daniel84 said:

This guy has flaked on me before. I wanted to make sure if he was flaking on me again. 

If someone is a no show, I wouldn’t give them another chance without a deposit.  They’ll probably flake every time.