Another thing about RM Messenger

[xyz48B]

One of the most frustrating things is when you see the ✔✔ in RM Messenger and don’t get a response. Assuming the best, you follow up with another “Hey, I’m just checking in” and get ✔✔ again, no response. It’s one thing to ghost after a bit of conversation and another simply to not respond.

 

Simply venting...

[+ MysticMenace]

I feel you. I think it goes the same with with WhatsApp when providers say to go communicate with them through that platform. You see those 2 checkmarks amidst the conversation and no replies.

[xyz48B]

So what are you to make of it?

 

As a general rule, I’ll engage people. I never understood how shooting off a quick response was that much of a time saver. What do you do with that extra 10 seconds spared by not responding?

 

This, I am aware, is a refrain of mine. But it does seem like it’s a problem. Courtesy is no more...At least in communication.

[+ MysticMenace]

I guess, for me, I just chuck it as part of the business. Here are my assumptions, which could be flat out wrong or spot on:

• Depending on how far the conversation went (e.g., hours requested, rate, payment method, repeat client), the provider may be looking for other potentially more profitable prospects (e.g., requests for overnight, cash, new client)
  
• If you are a repeat, and the provider knows that you guys have good rapport, he may simply be waiting out to get new clients and expand the market.
  
• Simply too many things going on...saw the texts, thought he'll respond later or thought he already responded but didn't.
  

I have been in those waiting situations before, but I guess I have pivoted my behavior to the following:

• My time is also important. So if a reservation is not booked or am waiting for confirmation from the provider about a booking, then I am welcome to scout for alternative plans in case the original proposed booking falls through. If other providers are more responsive, then the original provider may have just lost business.
  
• If he is a repeat provider and you guys have a good time, the next time I meet up, I would try to understand his communication style so I can level set expectations going forward when he is slow to respond. I may be more patient with good, reputable repeat providers (as long as I am aligned with their communication style).
  

Hope that helps a bit.

[xyz48B]

Depending on how far the conversation went (e.g., hours requested, rate, payment method, repeat client), the provider may be looking for other potentially more profitable prospects (e.g., requests for overnight, cash, new client)

I’m talking not even responding to the initial reachout.

 

Either way, as you say, got to move at some point. It’s a shame because, to my mind, it’s indicative of a wider problem beyond escorting.

[mike carey]

I think it goes the same with with WhatsApp when providers say to go communicate with them through that platform. You see those 2 checkmarks amidst the conversation and no replies.

Be careful about this. Two grey check marks means they have opened the app after your message arrived, but they may not have seen your message or even seen that it was there if they have a lot of new messages in their inbox. The check marks turn blue once they have opened your messages (and hopefully actually read them).

[xyz48B]

Be careful about this. Two grey check marks means they have opened the app after your message arrived, but they may not have seen your message or even seen that it was there if they have a lot of new messages in their inbox. The check marks turn blue once they have opened your messages (and hopefully actually read them).

That’s WhatsApp, which I don’t use with providers because it requires a real telephone number. I got burnt by a “provider” by using my real number some time ago, and so since then I use an app. I haven’t had issues. I use it too call too.

 

In RM Messener though, ✔️✔️ means the guy has looked at the message. Let me be clear, I’m all about giving folks leeway. I know I’ve opened texts and things are going on and I forget to answer. That happens. But when it’s the opening overture and it goes unanswered as is the friendly followup, that gets under my skin and any grace I may have had evaporates very quickly.

[MikeBiDude]

That’s WhatsApp, which I don’t use with providers because it requires a real telephone number.

 

What’s App works fine with my iPhone briber app number.

[rvwnsd]

A failure to reply to a message is not unique to RM Messenger. People read and don't respond to SMS, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, Twitter, etc. messages all the time. Back in the day, they didn't respond to Yahoo IMs and AIM messages.

[xyz48B]

A failure to reply to a message is not unique to RM Messenger. People read and don't respond to SMS, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, Twitter, etc. messages all the time. Back in the day, they didn't respond to Yahoo IMs and AIM messages.

That’s what I mean by a wider cultural phenomenal. A sad one.

 

Is there a way people who care can change it? I feel like throwing your hands up in the air and saying que sera sera is not helpful.

[rvwnsd]

I tried tarring and feathering those who don't reply, but the bastards never replied to the invitation!

 

But seriously, I am not sure what exactly one can do to force another to reply to their messages. Before IM and email there was telephone, US Mail, telegraph, smoke signals, and semaphore. All of those methods could be ignored.

[+ MysticMenace]

That’s what I mean by a wider cultural phenomenal. A sad one.

 

Is there a way people who care can change it? I feel like throwing your hands up in the air and saying que sera sera is not helpful.

 

In my humble opinion, I do not think we can control nor should we attempt to control other people's actions. We can only control what we do and how we respond to other people's actions. This is what works for me:

• If the person matters to me...
  
  • The next time I have a conversation with that individual, I would express the importance of communication and how you receive or consume that from others. Other people have different communication styles or have different value systems for how timely they respond to messages, but if you express how importantly you want or need that response, they may be receptive to changing behavior.
    
  • If I consistently do not receive the attention or the type of response I need and there has been no effort to try to prioritize or engage me in actual conversation (i.e., i cannot even get to have that live conversation from the above), then I would reconsider the balance over how much I value that relationship as that other individual does mine and determine if it is even worth keeping the relationship.
    

  [*]If the person does not matter to me (e.g., prospective providers, repeat providers, acquaintances, other folks one classifies in this category), I would re-calibrate how much I would care for their response or non-response. To me, if I set little to no expectations for a response and I do not hold that much value to the level and timeliness of the response, then I do not set myself up for too much disappointment.

[xyz48B]

I do not set myself up for too much disappointment.

Great expectations lead to even greater disappointment.

[Boink]

I've been struggling with this problem recently. Does anyone know what a singular ✔ means, as opposed to a double ✔ ✔ ?

[NJF]

5 hours ago, Boink said:

I've been struggling with this problem recently. Does anyone know what a singular ✔ means, as opposed to a double ✔ ✔ ?

Sent☑️; Read☑️☑️

[Boink]

1 hour ago, NJF said:

Sent☑️; Read☑️☑️

Thanks. Although before the singular check mark shows up, there is a curved arrow icon for a day or so. I thought this is the one that meant 'sent'...

[+ jeezopete]

I thought it was:

Read ✅

Replied ✅✅

[mike carey]

7 hours ago, jeezopete said:

I thought it was:

Read ✅

Replied ✅✅

From my experience it's:

Delivered to their account ✅

Opened (more precisely they have looked at the convo with you) ✅✅ 

But not said with any degree of certainty!

[jtwalker]

Instead of driving yourself nuts wondering about check marks, have you tried texting them?

[MikeBiDude]

2 hours ago, jtwalker said:

Instead of driving yourself nuts wondering about check marks, have you tried texting them?

More and more often there is not a phone number in the “contact me” info, the provider prefers to start the conversation via RM messaging.

[Boink]

2 hours ago, jtwalker said:

Instead of driving yourself nuts wondering about check marks, have you tried texting them?

Yes. I have.

[Boink]

13 hours ago, jeezopete said:

I thought it was:

Read ✅

Replied ✅✅

D'oh!  Well that makes sense!  Thanks!

(I so rarely get a reply, I wasn't sure what the double check mark meant!)

Edited August 8, 2022 by Boink
spelling

[mike carey]

3 minutes ago, Boink said:

Still, I'm confused what the curved arrow icon means, if not 'sent'.  It's the first icon that shows up after hitting the send button, before any check mark appears.

I think 'sent' is what that curved arrow means. Then it changes successively to the single and double tick icons.

[Boink]

1 minute ago, mike carey said:

I think 'sent' is what that curved arrow means. Then it changes successively to the single and double tick icons.

Yes, I think I've got it now.  Next, a single check means the the non-responsive recipient read the post, and a double check would mean he replied to the post if he could be bothered to respond at all.

[+ DynamicUno]

3 hours ago, MikeBiDude said:

More and more often there is not a phone number in the “contact me” info, the provider prefers to start the conversation via RM messaging.

I think that's particularly true now because clients who haven't used the RM Messenger with them can't easily leave reviews.