Who's in the closet? (an informal poll)

[Rick Munroe]

>I thought the proper terminology was Bi but I

>really don't care.

 

It is, but you neglected to use it to describe yourself. Are you bisexual?

 

>I just don't

>think I need to broadcast it to everyone I meet and it is

>really no one elses business.

 

Does that apply to the heterosexual part of your sexuality, or do you only feel the need not to broadcast the gay part?

[Rick Munroe]

>Your "respect for others' stance" is what impressed

>me the most.

 

Thanks. I guess it's been a process. I used to fetishize sex with married guys (I found their wedding rings to be a big turn-on; OK, I guess I still do), but then I started to feel like they should come out, and now I'm pretty neutral about it all. But yes, I do feel it's important to respect others' personal decisions. I don't want to be judged for deciding to escort, so I shouldn't judge others for their own decisions.

 

>Quite often the timbre of

>their replies is filled with contempt and

>condescension--hardly the way to encourage others to consider

>join their ranks.

 

Great point. When I was in my "everyone should come out" stage, I don't think I was ever contemptuous or condescending (it's just not my style) but I was frustrated and perplexed ("Who wouldn't want to be out?" "Why live a lie?"). Now, it's all good, as the kids say (or are they saying something else now?).

[Argos]

Rick:

 

As I mentioned in my previous post I am bisexual. I have been married and enjoy women. However, I also enjoy hooking up with men on ocassion. I don't really openly discuss my sex life with anyone and most of the people I know don't either.

[Argos]

Rick:

 

I never actually ever thought of it like that but I certainly appreciate the perspective. There have been several men that I have met over the years who had a very difficult time coming to grips with being gay because of their religious beliefs. The first guy I met like that was in law school. He actually came out during our 2nd year and he told me how he struggled through high school about his sexuality. He dated women but could never get aroused. This guy was actually the first person I met who was openly gay, and for the first time in my life, I started to realize there was more to sexuality than how some preacher interpreted the Bible. I grew up hearing how God hated fags and they would burn in hell. I attended a fundamentalist Christian University where the mantra was repeated. Things changed when I entered law school. I was confronted with belief systems and values that were totally different from the narrow views I had been taught and espoused. I would like to think I am now much more tolerant and accepting of anyone regardless of their race, religion or sexual preference.

[Guest CURIOUS35]

>>Seduced by an uncle at 7 years of age(I was shown a hard

>cock,

>>was told to hold it, admire it, and watch it make milK!).

>

>When I was 7, my Uncle Lenny showed me his bunion, and I had

>nightmares for weeks. Wanna trade childhood memories?

>Please? I'd rather have yours! :o

 

 

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

 

First off, Let me congratulate you for this thread! You succeeded in making people who read the thread to reply with their own postings, and in turn, you interject your own take on their response! I am glad it worked for you.

 

I will try it again sometime...

 

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

 

You wanna trade memory? Hmmmmm. My uncle was probably 13 years old when he did that...I think at that point, he was just discovering his sexuality and wanted so much to show his new found toy and past time what better way than to explain to a wide-eyed boy like me, that not only cows and lactating mothers make milk -- boys do too!

 

We kinda talk about it when I was 18 and I tried to explore the possibility that he may be gay! was I wrong! he was straight ...did not get attracted to and did not want to entertain the subject or reality of man to man sex! I remember, he did apologize to me and told me, he was not thinking when he did it and that he was sorry if he caused me harm! He then brought me to a strip bar and taught me how to appreciate heterosexual attractions to p u s s y!

 

I look at that childhood experience as a "boys will be boys" stuff! I dont look at it as incest...neither do I think he was to blame for whatever adventures I have gotten myself into. But I must say this...he was a looker up to now. Maybe if he needed the money and he was gay, he would have qualified as a model/escort in the truest sense of the word!

 

 

I think exchanging my boy hood memories for your bunions is a little , shall I say ... " not an even trade?" Do you have other ones to trade hmmmmmm?

 

P.S. Your avatar shows a nice butt.

 

:7 :7 :7 :7 :7

[Rick Munroe]

>First off, Let me congratulate you for this thread! You

>succeeded in making people who read the thread to reply with

>their own postings, and in turn, you interject your own take

>on their response! I am glad it worked for you.

 

Thanks. I didn't really expect anyone to say anything more than "I'm out" or "Still in" so I was really pleasantly surprised by all the responses so far (I hope there'll be more). Everyone has a unique story; some are happy, some are sad, but I feel it makes us closer as a community to share this way. As for my replying to everyone's posts...I feel it's rude not to, since everyone is replying to my original post. Plus, I did have follow-up questions!

 

>You wanna trade memory? Hmmmmm. My uncle was probably 13 years

>old when he did that...

 

Ohh...OK, it's now a cute kids' story. I was picturing a man of 45, like my Uncle Lenny, who, btw, also had gout in addition to the bunions. :o

 

>I think exchanging my boy hood memories for your bunions is a

>little , shall I say ... " not an even trade?"

>Do you have other ones to trade hmmmmmm?

 

I watched my boyhood friend fuck our mutual female friend (we were all around 12) until he shot inside her. I then spent the next 5 years fantasizing about it and wishing it had been me. Is that a good one?

 

>P.S. Your avatar shows a nice butt.

 

Thanks. So you're an ass man?

[Guest CURIOUS35]

>Ohh...OK, it's now a cute kids' story. I was picturing a man

>of 45, like my Uncle Lenny, who, btw, also had gout in

>addition to the bunions. :o

 

NO! That would have been pathetic. That is why I clarified the story! My uncle is a good friend till now and he is a great adviser to me! My story is a growing up Americana story!

>

>I watched my boyhood friend fuck our mutual female friend (we

>were all around 12) until he shot inside her. I then spent

>the next 5 years fantasizing about it and wishing it had been

>me. Is that a good one?

 

Please clarify the sentence < ... wishing it had been me.> Did you mean the boy who was the fucker or the girl who was the fuckee? or your wish changed as time goes by(!) (?) LOL

 

>

>Thanks. So you're an ass man?

 

I appreciate the beauty of a male ass. for me it is, after the abs, my biggest turn on! But I don't rim...I just touch...maybe pinch a little (ok..ok..Not a little! )But I can not stand a hairy butt -- I want to immediately refer the ass holder to a friend who does waxing and electrolysis! LOL

 

P.S.

 

Are you between the ages of 18-26? and look it? I mean not once upon a time--- but at this point in time!

[Rick Munroe]

>Please clarify the sentence < ... wishing it had been

>me.> Did you mean the boy who was the fucker or the girl

>who was the fuckee?

 

The girl! To quote of my favorite movies ("Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion"): "Duh."

 

>But I

>can not stand a hairy butt

 

Then you definitely wouldn't like Derek or me. Ape men and proud of it. :7

 

>Are you between the ages of 18-26?

 

About 10 years ago, I was!

[Guest CURIOUS35]

:) :)

>

>The girl!

 

Why did I not think of that(!)(?) But...I wanted to clarifyI did not have to think of you as a fakir. I needed to hear fuckee or fucker. So, fuckee it is!

 

To quote of my favorite movies ("Romy and

>Michelle's High School Reunion"): "Duh."

 

And to quote Bruce willis in Moonlighting as he releases his sexual tension to whoever that blonde boss was-- huh huh!

 

>Then you definitely wouldn't like Derek or me. Ape men and

>proud of it. :7

 

I heard it was fashionable in the seventies. I think this link proves it!

http://www.blackdogue.net/index2.html

>

>>Are you between the ages of 18-26?

>

>About 10 years ago, I was!

 

Ten years ago eh? Natch! How time flies.

 

Thanks for the enjoyable barbs. I like your repartee!

:-) :-)

[Rick Munroe]

>Rick:

>

>As I mentioned in my previous post I am bisexual.

 

Yes, you did; I see that now. My bad, as the kids say (or are they saying something else now?). :o

[Rick Munroe]

>And to quote Bruce willis in Moonlighting as he releases his

>sexual tension to whoever that blonde boss was-- huh huh!

 

Cybill Shepherd got fucked by Bruce Willis? I'm so jealous of that broad.

 

>Thanks for the enjoyable barbs. I like your repartee!

 

I've enjoyed the repartee and I even liked it the first time, when it was just "partee."

[Guest jeffOH]

I was only in the closet from 16-19. December 1982, I was home from college and in a drunken confession, told my mother I "preferred men". She told my dad a couple of months later. Good Times :-)

[Rick Munroe]

>Sometimes I wonder if I use escorts to avoid having to deal

>with the whole coming out process. Maybe I'm too lazy to come

>out? Hmmm...

 

Do you think it's laziness or fear? Most guys are afraid of others' reactions, of the loss of a job or loved ones, of being physically harmed, etc. I've never heard the laziness factor before. Does anyone out there feel the same way...that it's not due to fear; it's just easier to be closeted? Personally, I feel it's way easier to be out, but only because I'm a really bad liar. :o

[Rick Munroe]

>She told my dad a couple of

>months later. Good Times :-)

 

Your dad is John Amos?

 

http://www.classic-tv.com/shows/images/goodtimes.jpg

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

Closets are for scared little mice and other vermon of lesser

 

integrity and value.

 

 

Real Men are OUT PROUD and LOUD!!!!!

 

Out since age 19 - Taken the knocks - Thrown many punches in return

 

Open - Out - Proud - Successful - Comfortable in my own Skin.

 

 

I have a very low tolerance level for Closet Queens.

 

They demean and devalue us all!

 

They reinforce the Born-Again Bigotty Bastard Propoganda that we

 

should be ashamed, are defective and defile humanity.

 

 

BUT, if we'd only repent (Tithe at least 10% to the Church of I Hate

 

You) and lick a pussy or two for the lord - Society would be saved!

 

 

Cum out, Cum out Wherever you are!

[Guest jeffOH]

>>She told my dad a couple of

>>months later. Good Times :-)

>

>Your dad is John Amos?

 

:-) The "Good times" TV reference I had in mind comes at a 1:30 in one of my favorite SNL clips.

 

Scwheddy Balls and Good times

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7kwcwJ-pdA&feature=related

[Guest Wetnwildbear]

How awful for you ARIADNE1880 -

 

the 70's were such a repressive time.

 

All the drugs, the free-love, the music, the societal upheaval.

 

It must have been torture with Nixon being forced from office in

 

disgrace - How could you respond other than by Living a Lie?

 

WOW - I bet the introduction of Disco and the resulting

 

war between Hard Rock and Dance Music must have torn you soul

 

asunder, destroying your psyche and propelling your helpless,

 

mindless self,lacking all free will into the demon hetrosexual

 

lifestyle.

 

 

SATAN I REBUKE YOU!!!!! Oh LORD Keep Me From the DEMON HETROs!

 

<being ..... drawn in .... must eat ..... NO .... Must eat .....

 

.... No! ... Must eat pussy or DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

[+ Charlie]

I, too, came out to my family at 19, and in my 20s I was active in the now largely forgotten pre-Stonewall gay rights movement; I participated in small demonstrations, talked to sympathetic liberal church groups, held office in an organization promoting the abolition of anti-gay laws, etc. After Stonewall, I joined gay organizations, marched in parades, helped edit a gay magazine, etc. It all worked for me.

 

But I don't believe in telling anyone else that they should have done what I did. Belittling those who choose a different path as cowards is neither fair nor helpful. Not everyone puts his sexual orientation ahead of all other aspects of his identity, and not everyone feels that his primary loyalty has to be to other gays rather than to his family, religion, local community, or other cultural affiliation. Many gays have to sacrifice a great deal more than I did to be openly gay, and I don't condemn them if they are unwilling to pay the price. Many men and women don't really understand what their sexual orientation is until they have already committed themselves to marriages, in which other people will be seriously hurt by their choice to be "out and proud," and many people passionately want certain careers in which it is difficult if not impossible to be openly gay. Many people have living situations, which they cannot help, in which being openly gay would be truly dangerous for them.

 

I did not want anyone else to choose my life for me, and I wouldn't presume to condemn someone for choosing a different life, or different priorities, from mine.

[Guest CURIOUS35]

>I, too, came out to my family at 19, and in my 20s I was

>active in the now largely forgotten pre-Stonewall gay rights

>movement; I participated in small demonstrations, talked to

>sympathetic liberal church groups, held office in an

>organization promoting the abolition of anti-gay laws, etc.

>After Stonewall, I joined gay organizations, marched in

>parades, helped edit a gay magazine, etc. It all worked for

>me.

>

>But I don't believe in telling anyone else that they should

>have done what I did. Belittling those who choose a different

>path as cowards is neither fair nor helpful. Not everyone puts

>his sexual orientation ahead of all other aspects of his

>identity, and not everyone feels that his primary loyalty has

>to be to other gays rather than to his family, religion, local

>community, or other cultural affiliation. Many gays have to

>sacrifice a great deal more than I did to be openly gay, and I

>don't condemn them if they are unwilling to pay the price.

>Many men and women don't really understand what their sexual

>orientation is until they have already committed themselves to

>marriages, in which other people will be seriously hurt by

>their choice to be "out and proud," and many people

>passionately want certain careers in which it is difficult if

>not impossible to be openly gay. Many people have living

>situations, which they cannot help, in which being openly gay

>would be truly dangerous for them.

>

>I did not want anyone else to choose my life for me, and I

>wouldn't presume to condemn someone for choosing a different

>life, or different priorities, from mine.

 

:)

 

I could not have done a better job with your essay! Thank you for such a well written, intellectual insight on the issue of choice: To be Out and Proud or to be IN and endure the ostracism of those who made the choice to be out!

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you.

 

 

 

 

:-) :-) :-) :-)

[+ purplekow]

>I could not have done a better job with your essay! Thank you

>for such a well written, intellectual insight on the issue of

>choice: To be Out and Proud or to be IN and endure the

>ostracism of those who made the choice to be out!

>

>

>

>

>

>Thank you.

>

>

>

>

>:-) :-) :-) :-)

I think he was pretty clear in his post that he feels that we each have a right to decide the course of our own life and perhaps the person to best decide what path a life should take is the one walking that path. Your spin on his well written post proposing tolerance does that writer a disservice. A period, end of post; at IN would have be a much more gracious post.

[Guest HonkingGoose]

Always knew I liked guys. First experience at 11. Very Catholic family. Pressure to get married; finally did at 29. Three kids; 36 years later finally enjoying M2M fun. Still way in the back of the closet.

 

If I could do it over again? Don't know. Can't do that. Never look back.

[Guest Michaelnc]

I'm in my late 40's and I've been out for about 25 years. I've always been lucky, and I have always felt lucky that I recognized how lucky I was. I knew my family would accept my being gay, and me. I went to the University of Michigan undergrad and the school actually had a full-time paid staff member (in 1980!)whose job was to help queer students. I've worked in bookselling and publishing the past 23 years, and if anything, it's been an advantage to be gay and out about it in this industry.

 

I've always found it much less tiring to be out - no worrying about when to tell someone, no fears about negative reactions I don't want to deal with. It's not that I think everyone I come into contact with is so enlightened and progressive. It's more that since everyone knows I'm queer, I don't have to hear the casual, thoughtless, routine anti-gay comments you have to put up with when you're closeted. They can think what they want in private, as long as I don't have to hear it.

 

MichaelNC

[jackhammer91406]

For those who care, my closet only has clothes and shoes.

[Rick Munroe]

>the 70's were such a repressive time.

>

>All the drugs, the free-love, the music, the societal

>upheaval.

 

Then again, there was Anita Bryant. When a respected superstar of her stature speaks out, who could resist?

 

Very funny post, btw; it reminds me of my idol Sandy Bernhard. :7

[Rick Munroe]

I've never seen that before. It's hysterical. I emailed it to my father, who is really into testicular humor. Thanks, Jeff! :7