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A dating question !


Guest josephga
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Guest josephga

imo id go out with him have a great time and just hug or kiss him good night at the door and maybe suggest a second date. If you really like him and you dont want to make a pass id suggest not inviting him in after the date.. If he comes in the odds are it would lead too sex. not saying thats wrong but those looking for real relationships dont put out on the first date.. i guess it comes down to where you want things too go..

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Congrats! The first one is always the hardest, and they get easier from here on out.

 

Not an escort here, but I think Joseph has the right idea. Why not just enjoy the evening, and see if you’re still interested in him after you’ve spent a few hours together? You might find out that he’s not what you were hoping for. Maybe he chews with his mouth open, or is rude to the waiters.

 

If it turns out you both have a good time, and you feel like asking him out again, you can just ask him out again. Tell him you enjoy his company, and you’d like to have dinner again, but you don’t want him to feel at all obligated. See what he says. If his interests lie elsewhere, he’ll let you know. If he wants to get together again, he’ll let you know that too.

 

If you feel really comfortable with each other, it probably wouldn’t hurt to tell him you’re attracted to him. But if it feels premature to tell him on the first date, you can always wait till the second date. Unless he’s heading off to the bright lights of Broadway next week, and you want to get your bid in before he goes.

 

While you’re being careful not to put any pressure on him, I think it’s a good idea not to put any pressure on yourself either. Just have a few laughs, and learn something about a fellow human being. That’s plenty for one night. :)

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First of all, you may think of it as "dating," but you don't know that he does. He may be very conscious of where you are coming from, or he may be--probably is--totally unaware of what this dinner means to you. Keep it as light as possible, and don't expect too much. At some point in the evening, find some very casual way to let drop the fact that you are gay, but don't do it in such a way that you are signalling that he must make a response to this fact. In fact, don't assume that he will make any discernible response. And concentrate on enjoying your food rather than worrying about what may happen after you have picked up the check.

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Well-not sure he's gay (and not sure he know about you), a non-date date-type set-up. You picked a challenging way to start! I dated women when I was younger but was not an "early adopter" of gay dating, so I can kindof empathize.

 

As others have suggested--keep the stakes down. You might find your attraction evaporates because of the way he eats or the worldview he suddenly seems to have. He may turn out to be metrosexual. There may be no spark. And if your gift warranted a big gesture from the organization, there are a boat load of ethical issues for him to consider. The nightcap, sadly, should be something that could be used for drowning your sorrows (a decent bottle of wine or good gin works for me).

 

You need to keep the expectations down and do anything else that will help you relax. Desperation and neediness are not attractive and other people notice them before you do. Go into this hoping you get a pleasant social evening and get to know more about this guy. Anything else will be gravy.

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> Can someone give me some advice ? I don't know what to do . I

>have a night cap for us ... a bottle of Godiva chocolate

>liquer with 2 Waterford goblets , a silver tray etc. for when

>we return . Any constructive thoughts from posters or escorts

>?

 

I say slip some date-rape drug into the goblets and you're good to go. :p

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Here is my half cents worth if it matters much. Go on the "date" but don't go with any expectations, just enjoy his company. I wouldn't invite him for a night cap, just go casual, keep the drinking to a minimum. If things go well let him know that if he wants to see a show, dinner or what ever you two might have in common let him know you'd be open to it. Also since you said that you contributed to his theater he might be looking at this as a business transaction that could happen in the future in the form of another donation to the theater.

 

Hugs,

Greg

seaboy4hire@yahoo.com

http://seaboy4hire.tripod.com http://www.daddysreviews.com/newest.php?who=greg_seattle

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Chicago Jan 30th, Feb 1, 2, and 4th

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Oh when I said 20 years my Junior ..I meant that I am 20 years older .

Thanks for the very good and sane advice . I knew that I could count on you all !! You are absolutely right !! If this is to happen we need to work into it with no pressure either way . I will put the night cap away for now :-) I will write back afterwards !

 

Ocean

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You are already aware of this, but just to underline it....

 

You are a major donor to his organization, and as such, you are in a position of influence and some power in regard to him professionally. Most ethical questions about sexual misconduct revolve around imbalances of power. You aren't his boss, but he may consider that he is not in a position to refuse you.

 

The advice above is doubly helpful in this area. Have a lovely evening with him, allowing him to see that you like him personally, but put absolutely no pressure on him. I would certainly advise you not to make a pass on a first date, and not knowing whether he is gay makes that even more important. If there is something real between you, it can develop over time. But do be conscious of his situation in your regard.

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lots of good straight advice here.....and here's more of the same!

 

he may be feeling obligated to go out with you only because of your donations...or maybe not...

 

best thing is to definitely relax, have fun, ask him questions (so you don't have to make up small talk), go to a place or places you're comfortable at, don't drink too much at all, and don't talk about love, the stars, blah, blah....do not feel obligated to keep him entertained at all times...

 

get a feel for his attitude, beliefs, etc. and see if you're still into him....if so, as others said, just say it was a great time and would you like to do it again in a few weeks?.....

 

and to be very blunt, if he's 20 years younger, good-looking, and just a swell, all-around great guy - and your 20 years older and only full of deep pockets - well, you get my point....not to be cynical, but just don't want you to be let down...I may be very wrong....be yourself, too!!

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Charlie is right on the money! Somewhere between Dinner and Desert

work in the "I am Gay" statement! There have been a few genuine times where guys are attracted to guy's 15-20 Year's ahead of them!(OLDER)

 

Until you let him know, since he hasn't said he is Gay, this Scenario is going to go nowhere! Enjoy your Time together, who knows you might just get the Desert to go!

 

IF not, hopefully the Food was good. LOL

 

;-)

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Guest zipperzone

My advice would be to not push it. He may feel trapped if you come on strong and the fact that you have made a financial contribution (and presumably will do so again)could make him feel he is between a rock and a hard place.

 

Take it nice and easy - if you still enjoy his company after the dinner, suggest that you get together again and judge his reply.

 

Remember........ It is quite possible he may not be attracted to you in quite the same way you are to him. But sometimes attraction grows slowly with exposure. I can recall meeting people that didn't exactly "do it" for me when first met but after becoming familiar with them over many contacts, I saw them in an entirely differnt light and eventually ended up as intimates.

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Thanks Anton and all once again !!! I really think he is gay and would bet money on it . When I had invited him he saw me at the theatre and came over to tell me he could go after December. I had offered to let it go but he said he wanted to go .... and I have seen him on 2 occasions looking at my pants . The time in the theatre his eyes were all over me and I thought that was funny so I don't know , but all of your advise is great and I will play it cool. I will probably tell him I am gay but I bet he knows that too :)

Thanks gotta run !!

Anton and Rick you both are making me horny !!!!!! I need a COLD shower !!! :9

Ocean

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I have never really dated before . One of the reasons I have hired escorts is that it is much easier . Well anyway .. I briefly met someone in July of 2006 at my local theatre( He is the managing director ). I have seen him again in April of 2007 and mentioned that I was interested in making a contribution. I made the contribution in September of 2007. In all of this we had dined out to discuss this on 2 occasions at lunch . I wanted to ask him out a lot but he is 20 years my junior and I was worried that the contribution would have an affect on him as you can understand . I did not want him to be afraid not to go out with me .

There was an event for me in November recognizing my gift and afterwards I sent him a note of Thanks and I then asked him out to a nice dinner on a Saturday evening in December if he could go . ( this place is 60 miles from here and I did not pressure him ... just said if you want to go or have the time I could do this )

Anyway I saw him shortly thereafter and he said that he could go but not in December( Christmas shows at the theatre etc .) I said I would get in touch then after the holidays . I did and we have arranged to go next weekend . Whew !! I know this is long but so is the time that this has transpired . Anyway I have never had a date before with a guy . I certainly do not want to make a pass at him , but I would like for him to know that I have an attraction for him

and then see what happens if anything . I would hope for something to eventually develop , but I guess realistically it is a dream .

Can someone give me some advice ? I don't know what to do . I have a night cap for us ... a bottle of Godiva chocolate liquer with 2 Waterford goblets , a silver tray etc. for when we return . Any constructive thoughts from posters or escorts ?

I think that he is gay but never asked and I do not know if he knows that I am gay because I mentioned different women that I have seen recently but the gaydar is there if that makes any sense .

Anyway what should I do or not do ? Experienced opinions requested .

 

Ocean

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This may seem radical but how about calling him up before the "date" and clarifying things. You are both adults but apparently very coy ones. The call should clarify that you are gay, that you are interested in him and that any future considerations you may have for his organization will not be influenced by the outcome of the evening. Failing that, I would second Rick's suggestion.

As to those who believe that people who have sex on the first date are not interested in long term relationships, this is the 21st century and that thinking is antiquated and probably pre-dates the concept of two men going on a date.

I have never seen a purplekow;

I never hope to see one;

I can tell you anyhow;

I'd rather see than be one

 

Help there is a purplekow in my mirror

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Guest zipperzone

>Just a small update . More snow is expected tomorrow so we

>postponed the evening !!x( It will have to be in March now as

>I don't have another free weekend until then !!!;(

 

Why would anyone let a little snow (or a lot of snow) get in the way of a hook-up?

 

And if you haven't got a free weekend until March, your social calender is much busier than mine ;-)

 

Haven't you ever heard of a mid-week date? Hump day is good!

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Oh we were traveling 60 miles into the high country for dinner and the meal we were going for is only offered on Saturday. I'm in a show until Feb.29th:-) It hasn't snowed yet so it may fizzle out and we could have gone anyway . This is the South ..if snow is forecast we run like scared haints into the house !!:D

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Guest josephga

I`asked one of my massage clients out. I havent been on a date in over 2 & half years. this is one of my strickly theraputic clients he doesnt get a release. I think he is so nice and he always kinda flirts but in a nice way. he is single openly gay so i figured why not lol. I called him yesterday and left him a voice message asking him to call me to see if we could talk about it..

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You are a very good looking man .. He should jump at the chance !!! When I've had a massage from a Gay man I don't want the release either. I go for strictly a great massage and nothing else. My favorites were Chaz in Palm Springs and Kai Bosch in NY. I hope this works out for you !!! I hope this works out for me too but we shall see in March!!

If I get down your neck of the woods I will reserve a massage and identify myself:-) Please keep us posted on your potential date !!!!

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The fact that you've made a large contribution makes this a very tricky situation indeed. Unless he comes on to you first for some reason, I think it's almost unethical to try to woo him. If you're looking for someone to date, please look elsewhere. Don't put either of yourselves in a very uncomfortable situation. The fact that you're 20 years older than he is makes this all the more distasteful, IMHO.

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  • 3 weeks later...

A small update here . I saw this individual on Thursday and even though he did not have to; he came up to me and started talking . I did not bring up going out and he asked me if we were going to go after my show in March so we shall see. I have a good friend who is partnered and his partner is 40 years his junior and they get along great so I guess anything is possible . The thing about this is ... when I first mentioned this I gave him a great way out and told him that it was just a thought but he was the one who insisted that we do indeed go out. I was ready to drop it then and was quite content to do so ... so I will keep my wits about me and it will be o.k.

Will report back afterwards.:-)

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