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Messing with AT&T


Guest skrubber
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Guest skrubber

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.

 

ME: Hello.

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T.

 

ME: Is this AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

 

ME: This is AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

 

ME: Is this AT&T.?

AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?

 

ME: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

 

ME: OK, hold on.

 

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

 

ME: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

 

ME: May I ask who is calling, please?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

 

ME: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

 

ME: The phone company.

AT&T: Yes, sir.

 

ME: I thought you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

 

ME: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

 

ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

 

ME: 7 days a week.?

AT&T: That's right.

 

ME: 365 days a year.?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

 

ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

 

ME: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

 

ME: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&T: Excuse me?

 

ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

 

ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

 

ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

 

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for

 

 

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?

AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.

 

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

 

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

 

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?

ME: Yeah.

 

SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

ME: Is This A T &T?

 

SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to

get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

 

SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

ME: Thank you.

 

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

 

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?

 

ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family"

thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

 

AT&T: click........

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RE: Messing with AT&T

 

>Skrubber, that is your best post of all time.

 

Yes, it's absolutely brilliant -- too bad it's also completely plagiarized. But what else can you expect from someone who worships Benji Nicholas and has obviously learned from the master? A simple, quick google search will reveal that this post, which skrubber tried to pass off as his own, is available on hundreds of "joke" sites. Here's just a sampling:

 

http://www.jokesunlimited.com/jokes/telesales.html

http://www.goofball.com/jokes/business/INC20030902022643

http://marksplace.yuku.com/topic/2170/t/call-from-AT-T.html

http://www.markfunk.com/work/ATTWork.txt

http://lisargood.com/pass.htm#telemarketers

 

What's next, skrubber (or do you prefer to be called Mr. Byron)? Do you plan on helping a single unwed friend through natural childbirth?

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RE: Messing with AT&T

 

>>Skrubber, that is your best post of all time.

>

>Yes, it's absolutely brilliant -- too bad it's also completely

>plagiarized. But what else can you expect from someone who

>worships Benji Nicholas and has obviously learned from the

>master? A simple, quick google search will reveal that this

>post, which skrubber tried to pass off as his own, is

>available on hundreds of "joke" sites. Here's just a

>sampling:

>

>http://www.jokesunlimited.com/jokes/telesales.html

>http://www.goofball.com/jokes/business/INC20030902022643

>http://marksplace.yuku.com/topic/2170/t/call-from-AT-T.html

>http://www.markfunk.com/work/ATTWork.txt

>http://lisargood.com/pass.htm#telemarketers

>

>What's next, skrubber (or do you prefer to be called Mr.

>Byron)? Do you plan on helping a single unwed friend through

>natural childbirth?

>

 

To be fair, there were quotation marks around the title and while I was taken in as well in thinking this was an original post, that was my assumption. On the other hand, I do feel like I was led pretty far down the path toward making that assumption.

>Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Not an original thought there, but I am not sure who I am quoting.

>

>

>

>

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RE: Messing with AT&T

 

>To be fair, there were quotation marks around the title

 

Purplekow, go open any thread right now. The board software automatically puts every thread title in quotes. If skrubber had put the title in quotes, there would be double quotation marks. Besides, putting a title in quotation marks means nothing if you don't attribute authorship and don't put the rest of the post in quotes.

 

>and

>while I was taken in as well in thinking this was an original

>post, that was my assumption.

 

Just like people assumed Benji had written his blog. You're right -- the fault lies in the reader! lol

 

>On the other hand, I do feel

>like I was led pretty far down the path toward making that

>assumption.

 

True. Let's be clear. We're all adults here. Anyone who posts something (that he/she didn't write) on a blog or board or anywhere, without giving credit or acknowledging that they lifted it, is trying to pull a fast one.

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Guest skrubber

RE: Messing with AT&T

 

>>Skrubber, that is your best post of all time.

>

>Yes, it's absolutely brilliant -- too bad it's also completely

>plagiarized. But what else can you expect from someone who

>worships Benji Nicholas and has obviously learned from the

>master? A simple, quick google search will reveal that this

>post, which skrubber tried to pass off as his own, is

>available on hundreds of "joke" sites. Here's just a

>sampling:

>

>http://www.jokesunlimited.com/jokes/telesales.html

>http://www.goofball.com/jokes/business/INC20030902022643

>http://marksplace.yuku.com/topic/2170/t/call-from-AT-T.html

>http://www.markfunk.com/work/ATTWork.txt

>http://lisargood.com/pass.htm#telemarketers

>

>What's next, skrubber (or do you prefer to be called Mr.

>Byron)? Do you plan on helping a single unwed friend through

>natural childbirth?

>

>

>

>

>

>Oh now Dougy, must you always be nasty?

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RE: Say It Ain't So, Skrubber

 

I suppose you never made a mistake? Always and never are very long times.

 

What about having a little charity, whether Christian or atheistic? Every thing has to be so PC these days.:-)

 

Best regards,

 

KMEM

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RE: Say It Ain't So, Skrubber

 

>Every thing has to be so PC these days.:-)

 

Yes, it's so PC to expect people to be honest and not steal others' work. Gosh darn it, why can't we just get rid of all laws and ethics and just let everyone do whatever they want, and never expect any integrity or honesty or accountability? Speaking of Christianity, have you ever heard of the 8th Commandment? You know, that pesky little "politically correct" rule about stealing?

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Guest skrubber

RE: Say It Ain't So, Skrubber

 

I never claimed my post to be original nor did I claim that it was composed by me. If this is your view it is absolutely something you read into it. I suppose that from now on many of my posts must be proceeded by a disclaimer. I hope that will make you happy.

 

My understanding of plagiarism is using someone else's work for financial gain. So, where is my financial gain? I would be happy to accept if you offer but make it worth my while please. I only posted to share with the board something that I found to be very, very funny. If you can not take it in it's intent without nitpicking then I have four words for you. GO GET A LIFE.

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RE: Messing with AT&T

 

>>Oh now Dougy, must you always be nasty?

 

You're right. It's ever so nasty to expose liars and thieves. By Jiminy, why can't we all just let people like Benji and skrubber try to pass off other peoples' creative work as their own? Exposure is just so...nasty.

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RE: Say It Ain't So, Skrubber

 

>I never claimed my post to be original nor did I claim that

>it was composed by me.

 

Just like Benji and his blog, you posted it under your name and made it seem like you'd written it. If it were really an honest unintentional mistake, an innocent person would just say, "Oops, you're right. I forgot to say that this was something I found online and wanted to share. Sorry, guys!" Instead, like anyone with a guilty conscience, you're attacking the person who exposed your plagiarism and the people who were duped.

 

>If this is your view it is absolutely

>something you read into it.

 

Yes, it was Lucky's fault to assume that, just because it was posted in your name, that you wrote it. Bad, evil Lucky.

 

>I suppose that from now on many of

>my posts must be proceeded by a disclaimer.

 

So, you're saying that many of your posts are lifted from other websites? Thanks for admitting that.

 

>My understanding of plagiarism is using someone else's work

>for financial gain.

 

Your understanding is wrong. Do students get paid for their term papers?

 

>If you can not take it in it's

>intent without nitpicking then I have four words for you. GO

>GET A LIFE.

 

Yes, if the rest of us can't just allow people like Benji and skrubber to run around passing off others' work as their own, we need to just get a life. Oh, and by the way, Dougie is the nasty one.

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RE: Say It Ain't So, Skrubber

 

>It was relatively peaceful before, why isn't it now?

 

You're absolutely right. People who expose plagiarism are disturbing the peace. Why can't we all just let everyone run around doing whatever the heck they want? Life would just be so peaceful that way.

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RE: Messing with AT&T

 

>>>Oh now Dougy, must you always be nasty?

>

>You're right. It's ever so nasty to expose liars and thieves.

> By Jiminy, why can't we all just let people like Benji and

>skrubber try to pass off other peoples' creative work as their

>own? Exposure is just so...nasty.

>

 

It is not the exposure, but rather that attitude. Why not something like "When I saw the original version of that, I thought it was (or wasn't) funny". It gets the point across w/o the venom. IMHO, the attitude makes you come off worse than what you are trying to expose.

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Guest skrubber

RE: Messing with AT&T

 

>>>Oh now Dougy, must you always be nasty?

>

>You're right. It's ever so nasty to expose liars and thieves.

> By Jiminy, why can't we all just let people like Benji and

>skrubber try to pass off other peoples' creative work as their

>own? Exposure is just so...nasty.

>

Did you really say By Jiminy???

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Guest zipperzone

RE: Say It Ain't So, Skrubber

 

Scrubber: For what it worth, I don't give the proverbial rat's ass if it was your original work or not. It was funny and that is, I'm sure what it was meant to be. I doubt if you posted it hoping to have every one say "Oh my, isn't that Scrubber so clever"

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RE: Say It Ain't So, Skrubber

 

Its very easy to have misunderstandings when posting things. I did notice the quotation marks after you pointed them out, and I agree that the story was pretty funny. I am very tempted to try it myself with some telemarketer if I ever get up the nerve..:-)

In some ways I feel sorry for those people, because maybe its only a temporary job that they have while they are trying to find a good job.

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Wow, Charlie. You sound like me, catching drug dealers who've been going all around the area getting Vicodin prescriptions from various doctors. It used to be difficult when I had to go calling random pharmacies in the area. It's now a whole lot easier now that there's a central computer in Sacramento keeping track of all controlled substances dispensed in the state (for some reason, though, doctors or pharmacies have to contact Sacramento--they don't contact doctors or pharmacies even when there's an obvious aberrant pattern). So how often do you catch plagiarizers? It must be difficult now that there are online services which write term papers for students...

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RE: Say It Ain't So, Skrubber

 

>I did notice the quotation marks after you pointed them out,

>and I agree that the story was pretty funny.

 

Did you notice there are quotation marks on every title on every post in every thread? Doug already pointed this out.

 

You can read the original copyrighted version of the story here (skip the into and then click on the link "Robert Byron's Original AT&T Story"}:

 

http://absoluterobeo.com/

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