Submissive vs active vs dominant

[KeepItReal]

Yes, I am speaking about my favorite kind of guy - the one that takes the bottom bunk. When reviewing some of the hiring sites, a lot of guys are advertising as "submissive bottoms" nowadays. Hardly any "active bottoms" which is more my things.

 

When I think "submissive" bottom, the image that comes to mind is a guy that just lies there meekly or only acts when asked. Personally, I really enjoy spending time with a guy that is an active partner in the bedroom. Tell me what feels good or if you need a position change, for pity's sake! Of course "ferocious bottoms" or "dominant bottoms" may be taking things too far in the opposite direction... (Yes, I am picky AF)

 

Am I being unfair to subs? Do I misinterpret the concept?

Edited June 29, 2019 by KeepItReal

[+ sniper]

"active" and "passive" are the European terms for "top" and "bottom." I think you are looking for a "power bottom."

[+ azdr0710]

or you could just talk about what you each like and don't like.........

 

[KeepItReal]

"active" and "passive" are the European terms for "top" and "bottom." I think you are looking for a "power bottom."

I am certainly not using "active" and "passive" in that context! Have not seen many ads where the provider identifies as a "power bottom". I've heard the phrase, of course...

[KeepItReal]

or you could just talk about what you each like and don't like.........

Because of my interpretation of the meaning behind submissive, I usually don't reach out or communicate with those providers to begin with. Are you suggesting that I am misinterpreting the meaning of submissive and not giving them a fair shake?

[Mo Mason]

Yeah, I don't think "submissive" bottom necessarily means "passive" bottom - you know, someone who lays there face down / ass up and doesn't do much else. Submissive guys are usually pretty eager to please a man, so they'll put in the work for you if you want - without being too aggressive about it.

 

I don't think you're giving them a fair shake.

[+ azdr0710]

Because of my interpretation of the meaning behind submissive, I usually don't reach out or communicate with those providers to begin with. Are you suggesting that I am misinterpreting the meaning of submissive and not giving them a fair shake?

 

I'm only saying that honest communication about what you like and don't like is important for both of you to have a good time.....you indicate that you're "picky AF".....if you find a provider who simply claims to be a "bottom" or "submissive", delve further during pre-meet chatter and make sure they will also accommodate your desire that they be more active (not in the Euro sense, of course!), energetic, communicative, verbal, go-for-it......(i.e. not just lay there)

 

this really shouldn't be that complicated......

[+ nycman]

To me a passive (or worse...”lazy”) bottom is worlds away from a submissive bottom.

 

I love big muscular guys....who are naturally submissive.

 

Passive or lazy?.....just get out of my bed so I can sleep...you’re boring.