Nothing to ask; just airing things out

[alrajee]

There's a guy that I meet on a regular basis whenever I'm in his city. What happens in our meetings are quite limited, he has made his boundaries clear at the very beginning of our work relationship, and I agreed to them. And I never once attempted to cross them.

 

He also gave me a rate that was lower than the average market value, adjusted for the type of services he provides.

 

Last week, I tried to book him again. He was gruff and for no reason that I could think of, quoted me prices above market average. Thinking that he's now willing to provide more than what we used to share, I asked what can I expect in our meeting. He replied "same boundaries as before."

 

I replied along the lines of how much I enjoy his company, but I didn't find his new rate to be fair for what we get to do. I didn't think there was any reason to ask why the rate increase and the sudden coldness, so I just went ahead and cancelled the meeting.

 

I shrugged and said to myself that it's time to move on. Although I'd be lying if I said I'm no longer befuddled by the whole thing.

[Ajac]

Yes I had the same experience years ago with Josh Big Texan. Not the rate increase but the sudden change in personality. Moving on though sad is the best way to go.

[+ keroscenefire]

I think we have to remember that escorts are people like any other who go through slumps in their professional or personal lives and maybe change the way they act with clients as a result. I too had a semi-regular in Denver that I had a few very positive encounters where we had a lot of fun. But during a more recent interaction he seemed like he was less into it and just not as happy-go-lucky as before. He even explained he had a recent California trip that soured him a bit on the industry with just a couple of bad encounters.

 

I think I'll probably chill out on spending time with him for a bit, but definitely will hit him up again in the future and hopefully he will be more on an upswing and have a more positive time with him. I definitely don't count an escort out entirely just because of one time he didn't seem to be into it. But maybe if that is more the trend, then yeah I definitely would rather spend time with gentlemen that generally seem interested in spending it with me.

[hypothetically]

I think we have to remember that escorts are people like any other who go through slumps in their professional or personal lives...

 

Bingo.

[alrajee]

Bingo.

I agree. That's why I didn't feel the need to ask him about the sudden shift in behavior. He doesn't owe me any explanation whatsoever.

 

I'll cool off definitely, @keroscenefire , although I am more on the side of not contacting him anymore.

[Mocha]

I agree. That's why I didn't feel the need to ask him about the sudden shift in behavior. He doesn't owe me any explanation whatsoever.

 

I'll cool off definitely, @keroscenefire , although I am more on the side of not contacting him anymore.

 

At the same time...don’t pretend it doesn’t bother you, and let him off the hook entirely. “He doesn’t owe me any explanation”.

 

He absolutely does owe you an explanation. He just increased his rate for the very same service. It’s in his best interest to explain why. Did his rent go up? Was the repeat encounter with him more demanding than it seemed initially?

 

Shifty behavior in the m4m community (I won’t even say gay because it extended to bi, curious, and gay guys) is at an all time high.

 

Not to get off subject, but I really don’t feel like making a topic of it because it’s already been discussed: In my personal life, I’ve had about 2 people this year in my “best fuck(s) ever, this could turn into a regular thing” category just go completely stone cold on me.

 

Dudes are finicky as fuck, and guys need to stop being bitches about shit. People think they owe no one an explanation. It’s funny how guys will suddenly perk up with an explanation once I call them out on their shit. By then, the “relationship” is over because guys get butt hurt anytime you ask them to take any iota of responsibility for their flaky, multi/personality bullshit.

 

But you’ve got the right mindset, sometimes it’s better to just walk away from such fools and be on to someone new. Because you can’t reason with some of them. Guys nowadays are stuck up their asses so much, they don’t care who’s feelings they take for granted.

[Mocha]

I too had a semi-regular in Denver. He even explained he had a recent California trip that soured him a bit on the industry with just a couple of bad encounters.

 

I’m familiar with Denver and familiar with California. What happened?

 

I will say both places take consistent screening measures to maintain sanity in. The Denver market has become just as shifty as California. I’ve not had any “bad” encounters in California, but have had some “this is different from what I’m used to” type of encounters out there.

[+ keroscenefire]

I’m familiar with Denver and familiar with California. What happened?

 

I will say both places take consistent screening measures to maintain sanity in. The Denver market has become just as shifty as California. I’ve not had any “bad” encounters in California, but have had some “this is different from what I’m used to” type of encounters out there.

 

I didn't really push him on what happened. But I did notice that his five-star rating on RM recently dipped because of a couple of negative ratings during that Cali trip. My guess is maybe the clientele there is a bit more demanding that he's used to and maybe he got taken advantage of somewhat. We all know us men can be big time a-holes on occasion.

 

I just hope that he finds happiness and success. He has some long-term goals outside of escorting so just hope that he is able to do what he needs to achieve them.

[MscleLovr]

I shrugged and said to myself that it's time to move on.

 

I’m sorry this happened to you @alrajee but you undoubtedly made the right decision.

 

That's why I didn't feel the need to ask him about the sudden shift in behavior.

 

Very wise of you.

 

Something similar - a sudden rate increase by an escort I dated overnight once a week and with whom I enjoyed the hottest sex - happened to me years ago.

 

Obviously, it was “nothing personal, just business”. In retrospect, it helped to motivate me to find a steady boyfriend.

[marylander1940]

I think we have to remember that escorts are people like any other who go through slumps in their professional or personal lives and maybe change the way they act with clients as a result. I too had a semi-regular in Denver that I had a few very positive encounters where we had a lot of fun. But during a more recent interaction he seemed like he was less into it and just not as happy-go-lucky as before. He even explained he had a recent California trip that soured him a bit on the industry with just a couple of bad encounters.

 

I think I'll probably chill out on spending time with him for a bit, but definitely will hit him up again in the future and hopefully he will be more on an upswing and have a more positive time with him. I definitely don't count an escort out entirely just because of one time he didn't seem to be into it. But maybe if that is more the trend, then yeah I definitely would rather spend time with gentlemen that generally seem interested in spending it with me.

 

Exactly!

 

"The difficult easy life" 12 stories about male prostitution.

 

http://www.imaginamas.org/inicio/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/33881_la-dificil-vida-facil-portada-libro-ivan-zaro.jpg

[MscleLovr]

 

"The difficult easy life" 12 stories about male prostitution.

 

http://www.imaginamas.org/inicio/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/33881_la-dificil-vida-facil-portada-libro-ivan-zaro.jpg

 

Have you read that book @marylander1940 ? Was it insightful?

[marylander1940]

Have you read that book @marylander1940 ? Was it insightful?

 

No, my Spanish is pretty basic. I'm also in close contact with a local escort, and BTW @Mocha 's threads can give you a similar perspective. Not everybody is cut off for escorting.

[+ sync]

I agree. That's why I didn't feel the need to ask him about the sudden shift in behavior. He doesn't owe me any explanation whatsoever.

 

I'll cool off definitely, @keroscenefire , although I am more on the side of not contacting him anymore.

 

Considering you were a regular client conforming to specific conditions defined by him, he most certainly does owe you an explanation, and an apology as well, not just for his discourtesy but also for increasing his price for the same service. When he is out of sorts, he should let the caller go to voicemail and return the call after he has recaptured a businesslike demeanor.

[alrajee]

Don't get me wrong, @Mocha, I was bothered by the whole thing. I contemplated sending him a "what the fuck was that about?" text yesterday but decided against it. I just don't think it's worth dumping a bucket of drama over someone who seems to not really care. (If he did care, he would have at least explained why he'd up and raise prices on a repeat client without so much as a warning. I know of a few industry veterans who always give long-time clients the grandfathered rate.)

 

I entertained the idea that maybe I caught him at the wrong moment. Considering how he hasn't really reached out to apologize or at least acknowledge what the hell just happened, I am inclined to think this wasn't really an off day. Even if he were to make amends (which I sincerely doubt) at some point in the future, the whole thing soured my relationship with him. Besides...

I wonder how awkward it would be once our paths inevitably cross again—he plies through more or less the same circuit as me. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

[MscleLovr]

maybe I caught him at the wrong moment.

 

Maybe you did @alrajee and maybe you glimpsed his real character.

 

My own inclination is always to give a guy a 2nd chance. You will never know what happened before your call, but if you enjoyed his services previously, there’s no harm in sending a text or WhatsApp msg saying that you’d like to see him again at your old rate. If he responds rudely or there’s no reply, I’d be ruthless in cutting him off. But that’s just me.

 

BTW I strongly agree with your view of Discourtesy.

[Mocha]

I’m sorry this happened to you @alrajee but you undoubtedly made the right decision.

 

 

 

Very wise of you.

 

Something similar - a sudden rate increase by an escort I dated overnight once a week and with whom I enjoyed the hottest sex - happened to me years ago.

 

Obviously, it was “nothing personal, just business”. In retrospect, it helped to motivate me to find a steady boyfriend.

 

That’s s good point you made there.

 

I had made a thread awhile back about a client I “lost” to another “escort”. Me and @Robster had even gotten into a virtual altercation about it.

 

But couple years later, the client is still seeing this guy. Regularly. As in, relationship. It just dawned on me, I didn’t lose the client to another escort, it just so happened the other escort lived in close proximity to my former client friend. And my client lives in a rural town that’s 600-700 miles from the nearest high rise building. And there’s usually no trace of escorts in both his state and all of the states bordering it. So he hit the jackpot with this guy.

 

He had offered me to move in with him (jokingly, but I could tell that wasn’t far off from his desires). I didn’t want to move to a place that gets 6 feet of snow in January and a winter that lasts from September to May. So, understandably when a guy who’s similar to me happens to move down the street, of course they’re going to develop a relationship, and I’ll lose that relationship.

 

Some clients want a boyfriend, and look for it in escorts (or vice versa, as one client told me). I’m not going to say that’s right or wrong, but it’s not going to be suitable for every encounter...even if it is a regular thing going.

 

I think most escorts would agree it’s an uncomfortable place to be, because if you don’t agree to be boyfriends with the client, you can pretty much bet it to be over. That’s why I tend to like my “confirmed bachelor” clients. They’re not trying to get involved or obligate you to date them. You can see them every 6-12 months and each time, they haven’t changed up and “found someone new” to replace you with.

Edited May 24, 2019 by Mocha

[LivingnLA]

I’m familiar with Denver and familiar with California. What happened?

 

I will say both places take consistent screening measures to maintain sanity in. The Denver market has become just as shifty as California. I’ve not had any “bad” encounters in California, but have had some “this is different from what I’m used to” type of encounters out there.

 

As a proud long term resident of the Land of Fruits and Nuts, I'm not sure what y'all are talking about, but Californians can undoubtedly be demanding. We are frequently surrounded by top qualtiy natural beauty because many people want to live here, so some Californians become jaded and high maintenance.

 

I'm sorry @alrajee had an unprofessional experience with a regular hire. By the way, welcome to the forum @alrajee! The escort doesn't owe an explanation, but if he's a smart person who wants to build a successful business, he would be wise to learn how to better compartmentalize and treat regulars with more care. As the masterful @Kevin Slater has graciously revealed in his year end reports, regulars are more important than ever since the Great Recession.

[Mocha]

No, my Spanish is pretty basic. I'm also in close contact with a local escort, and BTW @Mocha 's threads can give you a similar perspective. Not everybody is cut off for escorting.

 

Was that a compliment or??? Lol. I’m confused.

 

Don't get me wrong, @Mocha, I was bothered by the whole thing. I contemplated sending him a "what the fuck was that about?" text yesterday but decided against it. I just don't think it's worth dumping a bucket of drama over someone who seems to not really care. (If he did care, he would have at least explained why he'd up and raise prices on a repeat client without so much as a warning. I know of a few industry veterans who always give long-time clients the grandfathered rate.)

 

I entertained the idea that maybe I caught him at the wrong moment. Considering how he hasn't really reached out to apologize or at least acknowledge what the hell just happened, I am inclined to think this wasn't really an off day. Even if he were to make amends (which I sincerely doubt) at some point in the future, the whole thing soured my relationship with him. Besides...

 

I wonder how awkward it would be once our paths inevitably cross again—he plies through more or less the same circuit as me. But I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

 

That’s tragic...

 

It’s hard to tell. I know I’ve been thru the gamut with lost relationships, lost clients, friendships broken. It’s tragic and sad how people act some days.

 

Personally, I know escorts are often touted to “be professional”, but it’s also on the client’s end to be professional too. I often think, clients have no idea what’s going on behind our scenes. Clients see an ad with hot naked pics, and think we’re ready when they’re ready. You just never know.

 

I popped off on a client couple weeks ago big time. He had texted me moments after a dude I’d spent 5 days with in Las Vegas, tell me he’s not trying to be in a relationship. I could have just block/delete, but I wasn’t in the right mind frame. And having a client jerk you around when you’re already feeling betrayed, it’s the right recipe for an altercation.

 

So, I wouldn’t dump the bucket of drama on him right now...maybe let it cool off and then state you only have X amount to give him, would he be willing to meet for that, and then discuss the rate hike in person.

 

It’s sad people use texts to discuss the hardest of topics. A phone is a lifeless device, and people don’t understand how different their words come across. The guy who said he wasn’t tryna be in a relationship, I wouldn’t of never thought in a million years he’d end up becoming the royal jerk he was over texts versus his in person demeanor. It was as if someone took over his phone and it wasn’t him.

[Mocha]

As a proud long term resident of the Land of Fruits and Nuts, I'm not sure what y'all are talking about, but Californians can undoubtedly be demanding. We are frequently surrounded by top qualtiy natural beauty because many people want to live here, so some Californians become jaded and high maintenance.

 

I won’t slang California too much considering I was just there last month for the 2019 Palm Springs, but basically...Californians can be flaky. BUT...in defense

 

That’s not to say all those people in California are FROM California. However, my last visit I had so much fun in California I didn’t want to leave. Everyone was really nice, and I didn’t encounter too many flakes until I went to LA...and even then, I end up just going out in West Hollywood and meeting a new group of friends.

 

Like I said, I haven't really had but 1 bad experience in California (think the “client” was some Asian guy with phimosis who was like 15 years old, and I left after 3 minutes”, which is surprising considering the type of place it is, but I always go on high alert and caution anyway.

 

I would say places worst than California when it comes to being “alert”: Boston, Chicago, Miami, perhaps New York, and perhaps Phoenix, Las Vegas.

[marylander1940]

Was that a compliment or??? Lol. I’m confused.

 

 

 

That’s tragic...

 

It’s hard to tell. I know I’ve been thru the gamut with lost relationships, lost clients, friendships broken. It’s tragic and sad how people act some days.

 

Personally, I know escorts are often touted to “be professional”, but it’s also on the client’s end to be professional too. I often think, clients have no idea what’s going on behind our scenes. Clients see an ad with hot naked pics, and think we’re ready when they’re ready. You just never know.

 

I popped off on a client couple weeks ago big time. He had texted me moments after a dude I’d spent 5 days with in Las Vegas, tell me he’s not trying to be in a relationship. I could have just block/delete, but I wasn’t in the right mind frame. And having a client jerk you around when you’re already feeling betrayed, it’s the right recipe for an altercation.

 

So, I wouldn’t dump the bucket of drama on him right now...maybe let it cool off and then state you only have X amount to give him, would he be willing to meet for that, and then discuss the rate hike in person.

 

It’s sad people use texts to discuss the hardest of topics. A phone is a lifeless device, and people don’t understand how different their words come across. The guy who said he wasn’t tryna be in a relationship, I wouldn’t of never thought in a million years he’d end up becoming the royal jerk he was over texts versus his in person demeanor. It was as if someone took over his phone and it wasn’t him.

 

I meant not everybody has the patience to deal with this kind of business, and I'm glad you're posting on here.

[+ tassojunior]

There's a guy that I meet on a regular basis whenever I'm in his city. What happens in our meetings are quite limited, he has made his boundaries clear at the very beginning of our work relationship, and I agreed to them. And I never once attempted to cross them.

 

He also gave me a rate that was lower than the average market value, adjusted for the type of services he provides.

 

Last week, I tried to book him again. He was gruff and for no reason that I could think of, quoted me prices above market average. Thinking that he's now willing to provide more than what we used to share, I asked what can I expect in our meeting. He replied "same boundaries as before."

 

I replied along the lines of how much I enjoy his company, but I didn't find his new rate to be fair for what we get to do. I didn't think there was any reason to ask why the rate increase and the sudden coldness, so I just went ahead and cancelled the meeting.

 

I shrugged and said to myself that it's time to move on. Although I'd be lying if I said I'm no longer befuddled by the whole thing.

 

My experience is that if you accepted the new arrangement you would eventually realize he's not all that. Why $ is sort of a good thing. It makes us think of choices.

 

Sort of like the carbon tax. ?

[alrajee]

Upping my almost two-year-old thread.

 

The guy in question messaged me and asked if I was interested in meeting up. No pleasantries, “hope you’re staying heathy,” nothing. Didn’t even say my name; just a generic “hey.”

 

I could have talked to him about his discourtesy towards me, to clear the air first and maybe rebuild our relationship that was soured by the events years ago, but it became very clear that this is how he is. I said I’m not interested and told him to never message me again.

 

Deleted his number and the thread from my phone and audibly said “Good riddance.”

 

I’ll say it again, “Good riddance.”

[Lazarus]

Thanks for the update!

[Rod Hagen]

He's upset about something, it almost certainly has nothing to do with you.

 

Move along....for now. You can check in with him again after some time has passed.