Young Men Not Having Sex

[+ FreshFluff]

[MEDIA=twitter]1113815915269726208[/MEDIA]

 

To be fair, the hookup culture discussion on college campuses is/was about whether women being forced to choose between casual sex and not dating at all. The people who complain about this are usually college-age women, with a few National Review-type conservatives along for the ride.

[RealAvalon]

Risk of accusation of assault, you have to have permission to do anything, need to have it in writing. A sign of the times.

You live in a different world than me sounds like

[RealAvalon]

I’m with @drintor and #MeToo has elevated it to a new level. Without intending to be partisan, look out how this forum treats the pussy grabber and creepy uncle joe. meToo culture has society on a race to the lowest common denominator of potential misinterpretation. Whether it’s peers in an office, classmates at school, or daters...whatever is or seems to be consensual and become twisted into a life changing accusation that it’s not...and it’s frankly not worth the drama sometimes

 

Best way to avoid problems is, respectful behavior. Social norms change all the time. #MeToo isn't saying much more than 'the other person matters as much as you do." And taking a photo of someone in a locker room without their permission - shouldn't require much thought to figure out whether that's respectful or not.

 

Remember the mom talking about her sailor son being scared to date. https://tribunist.com/news/mom-says-her-sailor-son-wont-date-because-of-metoo-internet-has-a-field-day/ And then he responded with:

[MEDIA=twitter]1049518834972020737[/MEDIA]

 

Nice to see his positive attitude to changing social norms.

 

Btw don't make a false equivalence between the pussygrabber-in-chief and Biden giving someone a hug (an unwanted hug sounds like, but not sexual assault or even the hint of sexual assault according to all parties involved).

[+ quoththeraven]

Risk of accusation of assault, you have to have permission to do anything, need to have it in writing. A sign of the times.

No, you don't. Jeez.

[+ quoththeraven]

To be fair, the hookup culture discussion on college campuses is/was about whether women being forced to choose between casual sex and not dating at all. The people who complain about this are usually college-age women, with a few National Review-type conservatives along for the ride.

There was a lot of moral panic in the New York Times, and those articles weren't written by college-aged women.

 

Research at the time showed men and women wanted actual relationships in about equal percentages. (The actual percentage for men was a few points higher.) Having casual relationships wasn't all due to following a permissive ideology, either. Many women said that establishing a long-term relationship would interfere with their studies and plans for the future, so they wanted to keep things casual even though that might be less emotionally satisfactory.

 

Also nowadays "sex" and "dating" are more or less synonymous , which I for one think is a shame. Even though the concept of courtship is an outgrowth of old-fashioned thinking about gender roles in relationships, getting to know and respect someone and become friends with them is probably more integral to a long-term relationship than how hot the sex is. (Not that that's unimportant!) For those of you who disagree, if you ever did settle down with someone, was it the person with whom you had the best sexual chemistry or did you choose them for their general personal traits?

[+ quoththeraven]

I’m with @drintor and #MeToo has elevated it to a new level. Without intending to be partisan, look out how this forum treats the pussy grabber and creepy uncle joe. meToo culture has society on a race to the lowest common denominator of potential misinterpretation. Whether it’s peers in an office, classmates at school, or daters...whatever is or seems to be consensual and become twisted into a life changing accusation that it’s not...and it’s frankly not worth the drama sometimes

How old-fashioned of you. Honestly, that attitude comes from men who think women are out to get them or something.

 

How is it difficult not to paw women? A handshake that doesn't linger and isn't a means of exerting dominance and nothing more than say a hand on the tip of a shoulder, rather than hands wandering down to our butts or the small of our backs, is all we ask from men we're neither intimate nor good friends with.

 

Asking if something is okay is not some big imposition. It's literally just plain manners. (At this point I feel like saying "Use your words!") For years we have prioritized male comfort (not the right word, exactly, but I can't think of a better one) over women's and women are sick of it and not willing to take it anymore, yet you find that scary?

 

Anytime a man says that it's all gone too far and he doesn't know where the lines are anymore, it's a signal women should steer clear.

 

(You had to know I would challenge you on this, right?)

[+ quoththeraven]

Best way to avoid problems is, respectful behavior. Social norms change all the time. #MeToo isn't saying much more than 'the other person matters as much as you do." And taking a photo of someone in a locker room without their permission - shouldn't require much thought to figure out whether that's respectful or not.

 

Remember the mom talking about her sailor son being scared to date. https://tribunist.com/news/mom-says-her-sailor-son-wont-date-because-of-metoo-internet-has-a-field-day/ And then he responded with:

[MEDIA=twitter]1049518834972020737[/MEDIA]

 

Nice to see his positive attitude to changing social norms.

 

Btw don't make a false equivalence between the pussygrabber-in-chief and Biden giving someone a hug (an unwanted hug sounds like, but not sexual assault or even the hint of sexual assault according to all parties involved).

And no one has called what Biden did sexual assault! It's a big straw man set up by people who are upset by any criticism of the way things are in this regard.

[+ WilliamM]

Sometimes irony and sarcasm are missed in written communication. The fact is people have different motivations, many men have been accused of non -consensual relations with others who have placed themselves in vulnerable situations and who subsequently have 'buyers' remorse. When does a single 'pass' morph into an accusation of 'harassment' ? There is that concept of "unwanted" attention, how does one know when the attention is "unwanted" unless one first pays attention ? It is time for all adults male and female to recognize and take responsibility for equality of the sexes and not play victim.

 

Isn't "buyer's remorse" occasionally another name for escort reviews?

[RealAvalon]

Sometimes irony and sarcasm are missed in written communication. The fact is people have different motivations, many men have been accused of non -consensual relations with others who have placed themselves in vulnerable situations and who subsequently have 'buyers' remorse. When does a single 'pass' morph into an accusation of 'harassment' ? There is that concept of "unwanted" attention, how does one know when the attention is "unwanted" unless one first pays attention ? It is time for all adults male and female to recognize and take responsibility for equality of the sexes and not play victim.

We don't have equality of the sexes, anymore than we live in a homophobic free society. Women are becoming more free to actually say 'that was unwanted attention.' For too long the expectation has been that women (and gay men) should just take it and shut up, cause that's just the way things are baby.

[RealAvalon]

And no one has called what Biden did sexual assault! It's a big straw man set up by people who are upset by any criticism of the way things are in this regard.

No one involved has called it assault. Commentators on FOX have.

[+ g56whiz]

I’m fine with your challenge and respect it, but your first statement misstates the problem I see. And that is, I don’t think women are out to “get” men (in general) but if a woman decides she wants to, MeToo has given her the upper hand in a false accusation and it does happen. I am neither old fashioned nor worried about this...I simply accept it for what it is. But whether personally or professionally, I respect women as my equal.

 

But, in the professional world, it goes both ways I suppose. This is a world where my former female physician required a witness in the room so she could protect herself from liability and false accusation while she manually inspected the lump on my testicle. Consider then how odd it was when she, with the witness in the room, exclaimed “ my! Now that’s a big one!” I frankly wasn’t sure whether she was referring to the lump or to something else entirely plausible. Unfortunately, with that, the very uncomfortable female witness burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of the scene with her standing there watching my stuff get either examined or fondled...depending on one’s perspective.

 

All that to say “perspective matters”

Here’s hoping “a big one” was not referring to the lump.

[Nvr2Thick]

http://6f92bqs5tv-flywheel.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Screen-Shot-2019-03-26-at-12.26.41-PM.png

[+ g56whiz]

http://6f92bqs5tv-flywheel.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/Screen-Shot-2019-03-26-at-12.26.41-PM.png

You mean they’re still teaching abstinence? LOL

[RealAvalon]

I’m fine with your challenge and respect it, but your first statement misstates the problem I see. And that is, I don’t think women are out to “get” men (in general) but if a woman decides she wants to, MeToo has given her the upper hand in a false accusation and it does happen. I am neither old fashioned nor worried about this...I simply accept it for what it is. But whether personally or professionally, I respect women as my equal.

 

But, in the professional world, it goes both ways I suppose. This is a world where my former female physician required a witness in the room so she could protect herself from liability and false accusation while she manually inspected the lump on my testicle. Consider then how odd it was when she, with the witness in the room, exclaimed “ my! Now that’s a big one!” I frankly wasn’t sure whether she was referring to the lump or to something else entirely plausible. Unfortunately, with that, the very uncomfortable female witness burst into laughter at the ridiculousness of the scene with her standing there watching my stuff get either examined or fondled...depending on one’s perspective.

 

All that to say “perspective matters”

She was referring to the lump. She was at work doing her job. And I hope it was benign and you don't have any serious health concerns following the big lump discovery. Best of luck.

[RealAvalon]

You mean they’re still teaching abstinence? LOL

After almost 2 decades of Liberal government rule the Conservatives won the election last year in Ontario. One of their first acts was to attack the updated sex education curriculum, which covered a lot of gender issues include non-binary sexuality. The new Conservative government wanted to remove significant pieces of the curriculum and stick more to the physiology. Students (and parents and teachers) went into a mini-revolt.

[+ FreshFluff]

Research at the time showed men and women wanted actual relationships in about equal percentages. (The actual percentage for men was a few points higher.) Having casual relationships wasn't all due to following a permissive ideology, either. Many women said that establishing a long-term relationship would interfere with their studies and plans for the future, so they wanted to keep things casual even though that might be less emotionally satisfactory.

 

Most of this research was conducted on samples of college kids. It doesn’t surprise me that 21 y.o. women are no more interested in marrying immediately than their male counterparts are. Nevertheless, they typically want to settle down long before men do. Survey data show that women tend to freeze eggs (and delay childbearing) not because they want to focus on their careers but because they can’t find “stable partners.”

 

Also nowadays "sex" and "dating" are more or less synonymous , which I for one think is a shame. Even though the concept of courtship is an outgrowth of old-fashioned thinking about gender roles in relationships, getting to know and respect someone and become friends with them is probably more integral to a long-term relationship than how hot the sex is. (Not that that's unimportant!) For those of you who disagree, if you ever did settle down with someone, was it the person with whom you had the best sexual chemistry or did you choose them for their general personal traits?

 

Of course, I agree with you. But the focus of the so-called moral panic is not so much that sex is an important part of the dating process, but that that sex is now a prerequisite for dating.

[+ quoththeraven]

Most of this research was conducted on samples of college kids. It doesn’t surprise me that 21 y.o. women are no more interested in marrying immediately than their male counterparts are. Nevertheless, they typically want to settle down long before men do. Survey data show that women tend to freeze eggs (and delay childbearing) not because they want to focus on their careers but because they can’t find “stable partners.”

 

 

 

Of course, I agree with you. But the focus of the so-called moral panic is not so much that sex is an important part of the dating process, but that that sex is now a prerequisite for dating.

I really got the impression that the moral panic was about women having sex and not at all about men having sex, which is a little lopsided, if you ask me. The moral panic about men only occurs when they're not having sex.

[Walker1]

Didn't this whole trend start in Japan-where an estimated 30-40% of folks under 40 are supposed to be virgins. Many also drop out of the rat race and just stay at home with mommy and daddy?

 

I wonder if this is something bigger. Back then family and community was a big deal, now anything goes and nothing makes sense anymore. Perhaps the pendulum has swung from one extreme to another? Us humans need a belief to function from-a shared reality if you will.

[gallahadesquire]

There is a book, An Exultation of Larks, that discusses the “collective nouns”, i.e., a Pride of Lions, a Murder of Crows, a Paliament of Owls ... Suggested therein were the following: a Slouch of Models, a Blur of Impressionists, and (one of my favorites) a Swish of Decorators.

 

I posted the question on Facebook: What would be the collective for Millenials?

 

Best answer:

 

An Entitlement of Millenials.

 

This from an M.I.T. professor!

Edited April 9, 2019 by gallahadesquire

[+ FrankR]

There is a book, An Exultation of Larks, that discusses the “collective nouns”, i.e., a Pride of Lions, a Murder of Crows, a Paliament of Owls ... Suggested therein were the following: a Slouch of Models, a Blur of Impressionists, and (one of my favorites) a Swish of Decorators.

 

I posted the question on Facebook: What would be the collective for Millenials?

 

Best answer:

 

An Entitlement of Millenials.

 

This from an M.I.T. professor!

 

Sounds about right!!

 

[marylander1940]

Or, perhaps more important, makes friends.

 

It’s also because of “Grindr fatigue”.

[+ tassojunior]

No sex for young Japanese men:

 

Virgin territory: why the Japanese are turning their backs on sex

 

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/apr/15/virgin-japanese-sex-physical-love?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Copy_to_clipboard

[+ Tygerscent]

Unlike the past stereotype of sexless elders, there's a sudden new phenomenon of young men not having sex.

 

I'm doing my part to disprove and change both.

 

That's interesting... I was actually celibate, (not even masturbation), for 1.5yrs between the ages of 18 and 20~ (from Jan 1st age 18 to June 24th age 20)~

When I started again, I would do this relaxation technique I learned in high school, (progressive Jesuit high school): sort of an out of body relaxation thing with concentration of all feeling centered on my Dick~

All hands free... Would get hard and throbbing... I could feel the Love honey dripping down my waist and pool up in my navel~

Finally, I would cum...

At first it would take me almost two hours but, as time went on, it would happen more quickly~ Always very intense~

Even now, i rarely masturbate alone...

And when I do, it's hands free~

I like someone else on the other end of me~

So, Clients are actually important to me because, when I'm not with a Client, I really dont have sex~ It’s the intimacy factor... masturbation lacks that but, time with my Client’s, (romantic or kinky), is always intimate... So, I look forward to being with my Clients... but, otherwise, I don’t seek it out~

Although I don't watch porn left on my own, I've made plenty and film some sessions for Clients own personal use...

I do collect GIF's though and share those at times when chatting with Clients... It's sort of like foreplay and foreshadowing of things to cum~

Edited May 2, 2019 by Tygerscent

[BgMstr4u]

Are 28% of young male adults still living at home? There’s your answer. What horny young guy wants to parade the fancy of the moment in front of dad and mom in their barcaloungers watching Americ’a’s Got Talent on the way to the bedroom that still features a single bed and your junior high school era decor. Maybe even your Batman sheets.

[+ Tygerscent]

Are 28% of young male adults still living at home? There’s your answer. What horny young guy wants to parade the fancy of the moment in front of dad and mom in their barcaloungers watching Americ’a’s Got Talent on the way to the bedroom that still features a single bed and your junior high school era decor. Maybe even your Batman sheets.

It’s kind of interesting because I travel a lot for work… I travel to the EU, UK, Asia, Indian subcontinent… all over~

Many of the places I go to entire families do you live in one home… And that can include extended family~ It’s both a cultural and a financial decision.

The States are a little bit different because Americans seem to value independence in the separation from that type of living situation with family members. They may have partners but, there’s plenty of physical infidelity that It’s more convenient with our mobile social/employment/academic society.

Sometimes I go to these places like India and Asia… Places were families all live together… And I see grandparents great-grandparents parents children and grandchildren… They all live in the same house and I think to myself “how and where do they ever have sex~?”

You really have to sort of be quick about it. Privacy is a luxury~

I often host when I’m traveling... there are times though when I am not able to host. Japan is pretty awesome because they actually have hotels/play spaces that you can rent out for a very short period of time specifically to enjoy the various bacchanalian pleasures that you wouldn’t otherwise be able to have at home due to a lack of privacy. Some other countries have variations of this including the states. Here we have sites like “by the hour” and others That allow you to rent a hotel room for four, six, nine hours and the hotels are three and four star hotels… Are usually set up for business associations or to accommodate travel were short term accommodations are needed.