Holding The Door Open

[+ Avalon]

On the radio they were discussing whether holding the door open for a woman is considered sexist.

 

When I was able to get out and about I'd often hold the door open for anyone I saw approaching. Then as it became more difficult for me to move, get around, many were kind enough to hold the door open for me.

 

When I was boy one time when my mother and I were approaching a store entrance I ran ahead. They were double doors. I pushed both doors open not thinking of my mother who was behind me. They hit her. She wasn't hurt but I learned a valuable lesson that day.

[+ bashful]

Holding the door open is common courtesy, no matter the gender for whom the door is held open. Remember to thank them for holding it open.

Edited January 15, 2019 by bashful

[+ azdr0710]

this topic has come up before......I have a couple independent, liberal woman friends who have told me in no uncertain terms that I do NOT need to hold the door open for them.....in that earlier forum discussion, I believe it was @mike carey who said I can reply to them with something like, "I'm not holding the door open because you are women.....I'm holding the door open because it's common courtesy and the nice thing to do"

 

[caramelsub]

I try to hold door for everyone. I do feel snubbed when I hold the door and the person doesn’t say thank you. I heard that you should say you’re welcome when someone doesn’t say thank you for holding the door. I have never been brave enough to say that though.

[rvwnsd]

More often than not I hold the door open for the other person and I almost always (>99% of the time) say thank you when someone holds the door for me. I have informed more than one woman that I am holding the door because it is courteous not because she is a woman, In fact, one of the women is far, far, far from being labeled "liberal."

[Rudynate]

I enjoy holding the door for others. It's a little thing and adds to the other person's day.

[HotWhiteThirties]

I believe it is a common courtesy. I appreciate when it is extended to me - regardless of who does it - and I try to be diligent to provide the courtesy as well. It’s a small gesture that communicates humanity

and decency to me. To be offended by such a courtesy is proof we live in a time and place in history that, in general, affords so much abundance that we even have time to philosophize and be offended by such things.

[N13]

I try to hold door for everyone. I do feel snubbed when I hold the door and the person doesn’t say thank you. I heard that you should say you’re welcome when someone doesn’t say thank you for holding the door. I have never been brave enough to say that though.

 

I make it a point to give a very loud "your welcome". The vast majority stop and then say, "I am sorry. Thank you!" A big smile and a "No Problem" usually closes the incident. I also make it a point to let the door slam into someone who obviously is not going to say thank you or tries to weasel through the door.

[+ azdr0710]

has anybody ever held the door for you when you're still at least 25 feet from it and you ended up jogging a bit to the door because you felt guilty for them holding it??!!

[+ Avalon]

has anybody ever held the door for you when you're still at least 25 feet from it and you ended up jogging a bit to the door because you felt guilty for them holding it??!!

 

No one has held the door open for me from that distance but I have held it open for that distance and even more when I used to go to the bank. As I approached the doors I'd see people getting out of their car and I'd wait for them and hold the door.

[rvwnsd]

has anybody ever held the door for you when you're still at least 25 feet from it and you ended up jogging a bit to the door because you felt guilty for them holding it??!!

It happens a few times a week at work.

[IndyGuy]

I do it all the time. It is a common courtesy regardless of gender.

[+ PapaTony]

I try to hold door for everyone. I do feel snubbed when I hold the door and the person doesn’t say thank you. I heard that you should say you’re welcome when someone doesn’t say thank you for holding the door. I have never been brave enough to say that though.

I have done exactly that every time

[Guest]

I try to hold door for everyone. I do feel snubbed when I hold the door and the person doesn’t say thank you. I heard that you should say you’re welcome when someone doesn’t say thank you for holding the door. I have never been brave enough to say that though.

 

I usually hold the door if someone is about to go through. I don't keep track of whether they say "thank you" or not. Miss Manners would tell you that one should not respond to rudeness with more rudeness. Saying "You're welcome" when no one has said "Thank you" to you is to criticize their manners. I once failed to notice that someone had held the door for me, since I was reading someone's text to me at the time. The person holding the door said "You're welcome!", in a snide tone, of course, which I felt was far ruder than my not having said "Thank you" in the first place.

[MassageDrew]

I open the door for anyone regardless of gender. People who find it sexist are taking political correctness to a whole new level and not in a good way. You hold the door and it’s sexist. You let the door close on them and you’re an a**hole.

[Epigonos]

I tend to open the door for anybody approaching regardless of gender. I have, however, had two interesting experiences holding a door open for women.

The first incident took place in 1966 in Las Cruces, New Mexico. As I approached the door of a laundry mat an African American woman arrived. I opened the door and stood back for her to pass through. She simply stood there and didn't move. After a few moments I simply said "go". She then ran through the door. Later she came up to me and stated that I obviously was not local and that she was afraid if she went in I'd kick her. I was dumfounded. Being from California I had never experienced such blatant prejudice.

The second incident took place about a year ago. I arrived at the door to my bank at the same time as a very attractive young woman in her early twenties. She was wearing a hijab (head scarf). I held the door open and stood back. She hesitated, for a moment, and then went through. We ended up standing in line next to each other. After a moment she turned to me, smiled and said "thank you", I responded "you're welcome".

Life can really be strange.

Edited January 21, 2019 by Epigonos

[Guest]

She hesitated, for a moment, and then went through. We ended up standing in line next to each other. After a moment she turned to me, smiled and said "thank you", I responded "you're welcome".

Life can really be strange.

 

I'm glad you didn't say "You're welcome!" when she didn't immediately say "thank you," as some have suggested. I just held the door yesterday for someone who didn't say "thank you." No big deal.

[MikeBiDude]

[gallahadesquire]

I have some mobility problems, and I migh t have been on crutches at the time.

 

I was at the local Bookstore during Christmas Shopping season. Someone with Cerebral Palsy was also there. It was a double door, vestibule arrangement. I stopped and held the outer door while several people went through. He similarly held the inner doo r.

 

I then held the outer door for him to leave. He said:

 

“Goddamn gimps, they just get in the way,”

 

We both then laughed heartily. G