Hosting a companion at your place

[+ Reisr30]

I’m curious about thoughts on hosting a companion at your home. I’m normally concerned about discretion and anonymity and wonder what I should consider before thinking about this. I would definitely want to have met them at least a few times and have a certain level of trust. But interested in others experience.

[BluDay]

My sessions with my regular guy are almost always at my place. We've been doing business for years, and we actually know each other's real names.

 

I have one other to visits me there, and I've had a one-timer. I'm single and don't have anyone to explain to. However, I don't think I'd host anyone that I wasn't either familiar and comfortable with any more (so, I change in how I would do business). I think I'd make exceptions for some of the escort gentlemen here, because they have a "standing" in the community. Over the years, and after one close call and reading of some others, I don't think I'd invite just anyone back.

 

It's a bit of a moot point however - in my area there is a limited number of guys I'm interested in locally, and travelers would have a hotel room.

 

If the escort is well reviewed, I think you would most likely be safe. I would not consider it for someone who is new. You just don't know what could happen.

 

If you do host, remember the guy will have your location, in addition to your number. If you use an alias, be aware it is very possible that without even trying, he will discover your real name. A piece of mail on a counter could tell him, as could any of a number of things in the open. Again, this does not mean he snoops, just things anyone could see.

 

There have been stories here of escorts trying to get more out of clients, more session, loans of money and so on. If he has your address, it's much easier for him to show up. That's why I'd recommend it for established providers.

[+ sam.fitzpatrick]

I have hosted on a few occasions. I have hosted three different gentlemen for massages that I had never met before. Aside om them using the bathroom to freshen up, I've not left them alone.

 

However, two other (overnight) guests I've not only met before but have spent significant time with them prior to inviting them into my home. In both cases, I was comfortable letting them have full run of my home.

 

That said, of all of the companions I've met over the last ten years there has been one gentlemen that after a phone conversation my 'spidey senses' said stay away from and I need not meet him.

[+ keroscenefire]

I've hosted a few times. There are a couple of guys in Denver that live with families or roommates and can't host at all and I didn't really want to pay for a hotel room in addition to the time with the gentlemen. I haven't had any major problems.

 

Here are a few things I've done to make me feel a bit more confident about inviting a stranger into my place:

 

My apartment is rather small so I think that makes it easier. I do keep all my mail and wallet and stuff out of site. Even my computer I put away. Basically anything that will identify you, especially on that first meeting. Whatever payment is specified I put on a table out in the semi-open so they can see right away that it's there but also so we don't have to let it get in the way of anything.

 

Another little trick I learned is to have them text or call when they arrive and then I physically meet them outside of the building and we walk in together. Not only do I get to see them in public and do a quick "spider sense" on them, but it keeps it a bit more anonymous as my apartment has a digital directory with my last name and first initial to get in so "buzzing in" actually reveals a surprising amount of information. I also feel like meeting them outside kind of establishes that this is my space and my neighbors see that this person is with me (I have neighbors that are kind of weird with people they don't know being in the building).

 

In addition, I always talk to the person on the phone before I meet them just to get a sense of who they are and if they sound legitimate and cool. It doesn't have to be a long conversation, but I do like to do it if I am hosting especially. I often use the time to talk about what I would like from the experience and also to give directions and parking information. I live in kind of a busy area so it's useful to have that anyway. The one time I didn't talk to the man on the phone was one of the worst experiences I've had as a client so I kind of feel like I don't want to meet at all if I can't do that. Not that the escort did anything to compromise my anonymity or did anything to my property, but more just didn't really give me the experience that I wanted.

 

Just some things that I do...haven't had any problems with any privacy issues or things gone missing.

[+ José Soplanucas]

Most of my meetings are at my place. It is just more comfortable to me, and I have never had any security or privacy issues. Usually I go to their hotels only when it is a first time and I have no references, or when I want to save the 50 bucks that usually is charged for out calls.

[+ José Soplanucas]

A few caveats. When it is a first time, I always have a videoconference to check the vibe, whether they are for free or for a fee. I do not give them my exact address. I live in a condo building with three entrances. The first time I give them the number of the front door and no apartment. When they text me they are at my door, I walk down and escort them to my cave. My unit is a 2 BR condo. I keep the door to my second BR closed and ask my visitor not to be loud, as we do not want to disturb my (imaginary) room mate.

 

The fake room mate trick has proved to be very useful back in Buenos Aires, when I used to hook up with questionable street hustlers. It probably saved me from uncomfortable situations more than once. Let me repeat, it was useful not only for paid sex but also for regular hook ups. However, in my second season of hiring that started about 5 years ago here in the USA, I think it is an unnecessary precaution that has only been cause for laughing with the boys if they become regular. Still, if you are a newbie and do not feel yet confident bringing a strange to your nest, I recommend you to use the trick.

Edited December 19, 2018 by latbear4blk

[+ WilliamM]

I have never had any concerns about bringing someone to my home. Why?

I met my first hire in a New York bar, and we talked several times on the phone before he took the train here to Philadelphia.

 

The second reason: I often hired from a Philadelphia agency (Premier), which provides some back-up protection.

 

And my job was not depending on being straight or gay.

 

Also, I was in the Army for two years, with one year overseas. I had slept in the same rooms with dozens of other guys in the service, especially in basic training and in SE Asia.

[+ Pensant]

I generally have hosted over the years with never an issue. I have good intuition and I like to have some control over the environment. Nothing’s been stolen. A few have asked for tours, lol. I’m not concerned about being outed since I already am!

[+ Pensant]

I also have adequate safety provisions in place should an unpleasant issue arise.

[liubit]

I lived in NYC for 11 years and I always hosted my very, very frequent hires in my apartment (even first timers). Like @Pensant, I felt more comfortable in my own environment. Glad to report that I never had an issue, not even a hint of an issue. I guess I was lucky.

 

Nowadays, my personal circumstances are different and I only hire while traveling: I always bring the boys to my hotel.

[+ keroscenefire]

I do not give them my exact address.

 

I do the same. I actually use the building next to mine as the address initially just so they can put it in their GPS if they desire, but then meet them outside once they park. I think this is easier in the city. Might be harder if there were only houses around.

[MikeBiDude]

Another little trick I learned is to have them text or call when they arrive and then I physically meet them outside of the building and we walk in together.

I see others do the same thing when hosting , I do as well. I live in a complex of about 70 freestanding townhomes. I give an address that’s immediately inside my security gate but is not my home address. I tell my visitors that this is not my home address. Their nav software brings them right to the gate, they uber to or park outside (plentiful free parking), and we walk inside together.

 

I too like this walk to get “feel” for my companion. They seem to appreciate it too! By the second or third visit they have the gate code and are parking in front of my place ??

[marylander1940]

I see others do the same thing when hosting , I do as well. I live in a complex of about 70 freestanding townhomes. I give an address that’s immediately inside my security gate but is not my home address. I tell my visitors that this is not my home address. Their nav software brings them right to the gate, they uber to or park outside (plentiful free parking), and we walk inside together.

 

I too like this walk to get “feel” for my companion. They seem to appreciate it too! By the second or third visit they have the gate code and are parking in front of my place ??

 

I'm glad it works for you.

 

I know a lot of escorts (or amateur guys from S.A.) who just wouldn't meet at a Starbucks, gate of a community, lobby, etc. specially in this age of burner apps and so much flakiness.

[+ Reisr30]

Thank you all. This definitely makes me feel better about considering it

[marylander1940]

Thank you all. This definitely makes me feel better about considering it

 

Don’t be paranoid. Hosting a sexual partner (whether you’re paying for him or not) it’s not rocket science gay men do it all the time

[+ Reisr30]

Don’t be paranoid. Hosting a sexual partner (whether you’re paying for him or not) it’s not rocket science gay men do it all the time

Not sure I am being paranoid just cautious about considering bringing a stranger into my home. I've read some horror stories and it's easier when you meet in a hotel than at your home; just my perspective

 

But the comments here are making me feel better about it

[+ oldNbusted]

Not sure I am being paranoid just cautious about considering bringing a stranger into my home. I've read some horror stories and it's easier when you meet in a hotel than at your home; just my perspective

 

But the comments here are making me feel better about it

 

We have to do what makes us comfortable. If hosting makes one worried, the session will be spoiled, which is not fair to anyone.

[+ nycman]

Never hosted in my home.

 

Never will.

 

I’m glad others are comfortable with it, but it’s just not for me.

[+ Pensant]

When I lived in a gated community I would meet the companion in a small center outside the gates so there’d be no record of their entry. Whatever makes one comfortable!

[+ keroscenefire]

I was pretty nervous the first time too Reiser. But a good companion will make you relax and put your mind and body at ease. Once we got into it, there is something really sexy about having someone over in your own place and in your own bed. The feeling of cutting in your bed with a sexy man is just so wonderful. It's really a boyfriend experience more than you could achieve in any hotel room.

[DMICS]

I pretty much always host. Main thing is communication and getting a feel for the guy before our first meetup. Haven't had any issues hosting when hiring someone. Like someone mentioned earlier, I just put anything personal locked away in another room (laptop, mail, etc).

[marylander1940]

When I lived in a gated community I would meet the companion in a small center outside the gates so there’d be no record of their entry. Whatever makes one comfortable!

 

Some folks are not comfortable picking up someone at the lobby ("walk of shame") or having him sign at the concierge. I've heard about escorts hosting in places that require that.

 

Again, a gay man hosting another gay men for sex (paid or not) is not rocket science.

 

If something like this makes you @Reisr30 concerned enough to post about it asking for instructions on how to do it without risking your life, don't do it or at least meet the guy first in his place before you bring him to yours.

 

Plenty of guys (professional or not) out there host, some even host while having roommates.

[marylander1940]

I pretty much always host. Main thing is communication and getting a feel for the guy before our first meetup. Haven't had any issues hosting when hiring someone. Like someone mentioned earlier, I just put anything personal locked away in another room (laptop, mail, etc).

 

I guess by this forum standard you're a brave man or asking to get killed