Bumping into a provider during the day

[+ Pensant]

this has happened to me 3x in the past 5 years. Once was at my gym, which was awkward. The other yesterday morning, when I was walking back to my place after a run. He was visiting a friend in my neighborhood. He later texted me that I was looking very, very fit, which made my morning. Fortunately, we are both discreet.

[+ FrankR]

this has happened to me 3x in the past 5 years. Once was at my gym, which was awkward. The other yesterday morning, when I was walking back to my place after a run. He was visiting a friend in my neighborhood. He later texted me that I was looking very, very fit, which made my morning. Fortunately, we are both discreet.

Yes, it happens. My rule (as a client) is that I don’t approach or attempt to make contact. I always have a smile for a provider if we happen to make eye contact. If we are alone-ish, think uncrowded grocery store isle, I may include a discreet half-wink if only he can see me. Then the ball is in his court, so to speak. Sometimes they come over to chat, one even introduced me to his boyfriend. So far the providers have always been gracious and friendly. I am curious to know how providers treat this situation...

[Rudynate]

this has happened to me 3x in the past 5 years. Once was at my gym, which was awkward. The other yesterday morning, when I was walking back to my place after a run. He was visiting a friend in my neighborhood. He later texted me that I was looking very, very fit, which made my morning. Fortunately, we are both discreet.

 

I can imagine it being awkward if you're with others, but if you're alone, or virtually alone, as in a crowded gym, there doesn't seem to be any reason for discomfort.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

How you handle these situations really separates the schmucks from the smarties.

 

When I first moved to Dallas, I was very directly- and indiscreetly- approached by someone at my gym about 'if I was who I was.' While it didn't embarrass me, I did end up telling the guy that I was not who he thought I was. Guys like that are people I would never see anyway, so I didn't see it as any loss.

[+ TheBigO]

Happened once...I was working out with my trainer when the guy walked into the small gym owned by the trainer. They were good friends. Fortunately, the trainer introduced us which made everything much easier going forward. Never found if the the trainer knew of his buddy's side work.

[Rudynate]

Here in SF, if you get out and about at all, you will see escorts and masseurs. In particular, if you go to a popular SOMA gym, you will see LOTS of escorts and masseurs. It becomes a commonplace experience. One time, I saw my favorite porn actor of all time, Tom Vaccaro, on a treadmill. He glanced over at me, we smiled at each other and we each went back to what we were doing. Only a couple weeks ago, I was waiting in line at Kaiser to pick up a script and right behind me was a masseur I had seen a few months before. It was an exceptional massage with a nice erotic component. We said Hi, I reminded him what my name was and we chatted in line while we were waiting - no discomfort at all.

[MartyB]

I bumped into an escort a few days after we had met on the NYC subway system. Trust me we could talk..no problem. LoL

[pubic_assistance]

Too much shame and paranoia in some of these responses.

I am married with kids...but if I see a service boy out and about, I always stop smile and have no problem saying hello.

No body is gonna know your private business, based on a quick greeting.

[Rudynate]

Too much shame and paranoia in some of these responses.

 

Exactly. Everybody seems to forget that we can't read each other's minds.

[TruthBTold]

I always remember we are all human beings. I handle it as I would handle every relationship. Some people I know better than others. A provider I knew like family I would even go up to and say hello. Other people I would acknowledge and at least smile. I guess I do not understand why you would feel uncomfortable unless you think that the provider is going to blurt out exactly how you know each other. There are just too many easy lies that you can use, e.g., met at a party, goes to my gym.

[+ BenjaminNicholas]

Too much shame and paranoia in some of these responses.

I am married with kids...but if I see a service boy out and about, I always stop smile and have no problem saying hello.

No body is gonna know your private business, based on a quick greeting.

 

There's also something to be said for HOW you approach someone. My circumstance was done in a very loud, mishandled way.

 

A smile, a nod or a wink is sexy

[+ poolboy48220]

There are a couple threads in the forum about this that you might enjoy reading.

 

I acknowledge them by eye contact and let them take the lead on talking further. I can't remember it ever happening while I was with someone else, and depending on who I was with, I might send my own signals that eye contact was enough You never know, as BN points out above, if the guy is going to be discreet.

 

I did see a dancer from the go-go bar in the gym locker room, and smiled hello at him. he said hi back, but said something like "My worlds are colliding". I saw him another time there with two almost-toddler age girls that I assume were his daughters.

[KazBrawley]

It might not have anything to do with shame if a guy avoids you... This happens to me a lot especially considering what a small fish I am. I don't have any problem with it when I'm alone though if I haven't seen a guy for a long time I might mistake him as a client from my health field job where the boundaries are very different, so I am pretty sure this has caused a bit of confusion and hurt feelings before. :/

 

I was born and raised in the area and one side of my family was, too, and still lives locally. Any queer person I'm friends with and anyone I date know what I do for the most part, so if a guy sees me out with them and says "hi" that's cool and even a nice gesture--- but they will peg a guy they don't recognize as a client in a second, even if I say no. (It's uncanny but I guess I'm blessed to have friends who pay attention and know me so well.) I feel that's up to him but also if he's big on discretion I might act like it's a mistake if he doesn't know my friends are like that.

 

The same sort of thing happens with my family though and for the most part they don't know I do any sort of sex work. They just know when a guy approaches me that it isn't someone they know. It either makes them angry with me because they know the backstory is BS or they go the complete opposite way and mistake him for a childhood friend they forgot or a new poly partner I've been hiding from them. The next thing I know they're grilling him with questions and trying to get his phone number and enthusiastically trying to invite us to their home for lunch. Then they're hurt or mad at me if I demur on that and I have at least a week of passive aggressive, "Why don't you let us meet your *new* friends ever?" or "But we've *always* been so supportive of you being gay!" and a mind-bending revisionist backstory on that to look forward to. Sometimes they even get the relatives on the other coast to call and be all like, "I heard you won't introduce your new boyfriend to any of us... what did we do wrong?" >_<

[marylander1940]

Here in SF, if you get out and about at all, you will see escorts and masseurs. In particular, if you go to a popular SOMA gym, you will see LOTS of escorts and masseurs. It becomes a commonplace experience. One time, I saw my favorite porn actor of all time, Tom Vaccaro, on a treadmill. He glanced over at me, we smiled at each other and we each went back to what we were doing. Only a couple weeks ago, I was waiting in line at Kaiser to pick up a script and right behind me was a masseur I had seen a few months before. It was an exceptional massage with a nice erotic component. We said Hi, I reminded him what my name was and we chatted in line while we were waiting - no discomfort at all.

 

 

 

That happens here around DuPont a lot, I saw @Killian a couple of times before I hired him.

 

A political version of the joke:

 

[N13]

I once was in a jewelry store when I saw DavidSF outside looking in the window. He was with an obvious client. I did nothing but we made eye contact. He came into the shop to say hello to me and introduced his client. I introduced him to the shop owner and told him to give David a good discount if he bought anything. Smiled, shook hands warmly and left. David is always a class act!

[nsguy45]

A friend of mine who is a server and also escorts in the Boston area found himself one evening waiting on one of his regulars who was dining with his wife and young children. #awkward

[pubic_assistance]

A friend of mine who is a server and also escorts in the Boston area found himself one evening waiting on one of his regulars who was dining with his wife and young children. #awkward

Only if he is cheating on his wife.

[+ poolboy48220]

When I was very very new to hiring, and agencies were the thing, the guy at the agency was listing out their guys and mentioned one of them was a trainer at a gym. I always thought it'd be titillating to see the guy at the gym, and know what else he was available for. Youthful fantasies...