KensingtonHomo

This has been discussed so many times.....when providers talk about their clientele, the youngest end of the spectrum seems to be mid/late 30s.  The higher end seems to vary a lot but at least falls into the 50s, although some will report well into the 70s. and few, like Hagen have had even older clients There are some long-term past/present posters who were in their 80s. When I've attended DC meet-ups. I would guess that ages ranged from late 40s to 70s. 
The long-term guys for whom this is a profession are accustomed to their clients being older, sometimes quite older than them. Some, like Mike Gaite have indicated that they've always been into guys older than themselves.
If there's going to be a problem it will be among younger guys, new to the occupation. The youngest guys tend to be disorganized as business people which makes me glad I'm not interested in twinks. There is huge turnover within the first month of an ad and some others don't last more than a few months. The best advice if you want to avoid perceived rejection is to wait and see who establishes themselves and to look at comments here. 
If you're self conscious about your appearance, join a gym and get into a program of exercise and diet. You'll live longer and ultimately will be happier. Again, providers for whom this is a profession or at least a long-term gig, will have seen it all and will accept the range of guys they see. Newbies---well, wait and see who sticks around. If you're self-conscious, you probably don't want to be someone's "training case".
 
 

Hey Thomas, 
I'm sorry you're having this experience. I don't know where you're located but I do know some providers in NYC who are happy to see disabled clients. Perhaps if you share the city you're in, members can help identify some good providers. 

No, my argument was that deposits benefit more than just the provider. I'm sure you make deposits or give your credit card to reserve all kinds of things. And you do so because the professional or vendor will only reserve your booking with a deposit. 

That they only benefit the provider. If someone requests a deposit to hold an appointment for you, the benefit to you is that your appointment is secured. 

That's not true. We all engage with other professionals who require a deposit to book an appointment or a credit card to charge you a cancellation fee. Sure, the illicit nature of the enterprise doesn't provide recourse that others would, but if we're talking about a small deposit of $25, that is reasonable. Also, in my experience, that deposit is only required for the first appointment. Once a provider realizes you're legit, they don't ask again. 

I think the only concern is for poor and marginalized sex workers. 
But I don’t think Trump’s verdict will have an impact. The case has nothing to do with an escort. Daniels was not paid for the encounter.
i think it anything is under threat its OnlyFans and similar services by someone wanting to expand SESTA/FOSTA. Or additional efforts by conservatives and liberals to control online outlets like TikTok. 

That’s horrible providers respond to you this way. Pervasive ignorance around disabilities makes life much harder.
I see clients with disabilities, both physical and neurodivergent. One of my regulars has cerebral palsy. Another is on the autism spectrum. One has parkinson’s disease. Some others use a wheelchair, cane, or other assistive devices for various conditions.
My studio is not 100% accessible by California standards, but I chose it in part because it has accessibility features. Everyone benefits because it makes things easier to use, whether you have a disability or not. My architect background informs so much of what I do! I like my disabled clients and want them to feel comfortable and welcome. Any provider worth your time will do the same.
Disabled clients want escort services and massages the same as everyone else. I see accommodating them no differently than accommodating other needs and preferences. I help them on and off the table, transferring to the shower, and getting dressed. Many times they don’t want help with things like getting dressed, as this is a way for them to maintain their autonomy. In that case I allow more time for them to do what they need to do, and remain patient while a client does tasks a little slower than others.
Andrew Gurza puts out a lot of interesting content around being gay and disabled. He talks frankly about sexuality and openly about hiring. Anyone interested in these topics might check out his podcast Disability After Dark.
Disabilities manifest in so many different ways. You don’t always know by looking at someone that they are disabled. My partner, for instance, suffers from many chronic conditions. I won’t get into it all of the medical specifics here, but basically he has physical limitations, like he can’t sit, stand, walk, or drive for long periods. No step ladders or anything requiring balance or significant coordination. No heavy lifting. He works half time from home because that’s the most he is able to do. He spends a lot of his time recovering from physical exertion, even from basic daily life activities when he pushes himself too hard. You would never tell by meeting him for a few minutes or passing by him in a grocery store. He started using a cane recently, so maybe you would see that, but he is embarrassed to use it outside our home. He’s only 43 years old.
We need more compassion and understanding toward one another. This work requires empathy, respect, and adaptability. We serve everyone. Online we focus so much on how different we are on the surface. At the end of the day, we’re all just people. People with people needs. I may not be saving the world, but approaching this work the way I do gives me a strong sense of purpose.
Good providers will not shun clients with disabilities. Try to shake off cruel commentary as best you can. Keep looking. We exist, and we care.

Hey Thomas, 
I'm sorry you're having this experience. I don't know where you're located but I do know some providers in NYC who are happy to see disabled clients. Perhaps if you share the city you're in, members can help identify some good providers. 

This reality is why I don't mind making a nominal deposit. And I always try to have a day and time in mind before I initiate; negotiation only happens if the provider can't make that time work. 

Honestly, you sound flakey. I have never had a provider to whom I made a deposit flake on me. I haven't been flaked on more than a handful of times. 

That's just crazy.  I'd never jerk around someone like that.  I make the appointment and stick with it and don't make plans like this when I have a potential conflict that could screw it up. The stress of whether you can make it on time kind of ruins the intent of why you are doing this.
I've had to cancel twice in all the times I hired, but I gave plenty of notice and offered either a partial payment or reschedule and never had an issue. 
That client is way too high maintenance in my opinion.
 

This is why I'm not put off by reasonable deposits (let's say $25-$50). Yes, it's a commitment to the provider but it's also them committing to the appointment. And I've never had one of them cancel. 

Because this topic is closed:
https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/121686-clients-with-disabilities
& I don't want to go too much off topic in this topic:
https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/152328-the-effect-of-on-porn-and-availability-of-quality-providers/#comment-2303689
 
Yes, indeed, I'm looking for a guy (to hire) for years. My search started befor covid, I always write in de first message I'm in a wheelchair because I have a muscle disease. All guys I contacted didn't reply or didn't want to meet. Last year a guy replied "I don't do diseases"....
 
 

Same here I think it’s totally acceptable for us both to agree and for the provider to know I’m serious about the appt and my time also. 

This is why I'm not put off by reasonable deposits (let's say $25-$50). Yes, it's a commitment to the provider but it's also them committing to the appointment. And I've never had one of them cancel. 

This is why I'm not put off by reasonable deposits (let's say $25-$50). Yes, it's a commitment to the provider but it's also them committing to the appointment. And I've never had one of them cancel. 

Your response is to quote a nepo-baby, man-child, who owes his billions to government contracts, has run Twitter into the ground, and is so anti-gay and transphobic that his child has disowned him? 
Like I said, Trump supporter.

In my experience, when you seem the same masseur regularly things progress naturally to the level they're comfortable. My regular guy definitely goes way further now than when I started seeing him three years ago. But we also have lovely chats, and genuine chemistry. But that unfolded over time. 

In my experience, when you seem the same masseur regularly things progress naturally to the level they're comfortable. My regular guy definitely goes way further now than when I started seeing him three years ago. But we also have lovely chats, and genuine chemistry. But that unfolded over time. 

At my job, when a client is unpleasant or difficult or I dislike dealing with him, the price goes up and my availability decreases. If neither of those happen with the masseur, I would take it as at least a partial sign that "OK" truly meant it was "OK. "

I think you're ok as well. I think he'd be honest with you if he wasn't comfortable with being orally serviced or felt up during a session. Never hurts to ask right before you do anything or once you start something if it's ok. And a nice tip never hurts to show your appreciation especially if you're paying the same amount as before all these new things.

If you can see an argument for weight, age, or physical appearance (I get hygiene), then why not race? Once we accept that some people deserve professional treatment more than others based on immutable characteristics, then it's fair game on everything. I'm seasoned enough to remember when "no fats, no femmes and no <insert race here>" was constant on gay social networks. 

I think I found the problem.

This.  I don't do any sort of exhaustive research, but I want to be reasonably certain that he is who he says he is.  

If you can see an argument for weight, age, or physical appearance (I get hygiene), then why not race? Once we accept that some people deserve professional treatment more than others based on immutable characteristics, then it's fair game on everything. I'm seasoned enough to remember when "no fats, no femmes and no <insert race here>" was constant on gay social networks.