KensingtonHomo

Try not to make assumptions about what others find attractive. Before I learned RentMen was even an option I used the app Daddy Hunt, and my filters were frequently set to >50. You may be accepted not in spite of your age or body but because of it!

I feel very lucky to have found a few providers who I feel very comfortable with and with each visit the sessions become more enjoyable.  I rarely seek new providers. Find a few you connect well with and visit them often.

This is absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry that this awful man did this to you. 

This is absolutely horrible. I'm so sorry that this awful man did this to you. 

Increasingly convinced you're not a provider. You don't engage meaningfully with clients. You just post snark, which isn't doing you or your colleagues any good. If you represent what "providers are too scared to admit to your face," it's a real turn off to hiring in general. Thankfully, there are real providers on here who counteract your bad faith posts. 

My husband and I started hiring in 2019. Our first time was in Spain. I believe the rate was 150 euros. After COVID, when it was safe to hire again, we were getting $300-$350/hour. Now, it's not uncommon to come across relatively new guys (with recent profiles and no reviews) asking for $500/hour. That's a 40% increase in rates in about 4 years. Over the same period, cumulative inflation is about 25%. And that inflation affects clients and providers alike. 
It's not for me to say how much a provider charges, but it's not surprising that some clients are turning their noses up at such a steep rate increase. It's definitely deterring us from trying new guys. First, because our regulars have kept their prices consistent. Second, because a lame $500 appointment feels worse than a lame $300 appointment. 

Generally, it is how each one of us is wired. I get easily aroused from touch and intimacy, while something that puts me off is the smell and hygiene. It differs from one person to another.
It does have a lot to do with making the provider feel valued. If there is pressure or tension, dont expect us to perform properly. 

I am not going to fool myself that a lot of this is acting, but I do think there are times when the provider is also getting enjoyment.
One of my providers has told me that he enjoys when we meet because I make him feel loved.  I have been lucky enough to find several providers that are simply good people and that helps a lot.  Take it for what its worth, but I always enjoy a more intimate and passionate session versus just a quickie and thats it.  And I am very interactive if you hear what Im saying.  I am also well past the shy point when I meet someone.  I get to fulfill my fantasies with several gorgeous guys and they seem to like it too!

I have found that if you read enough provider profiles you will notice patterns of who is gonna be good and who you should avoid.  Not a flawless method but has worked well for me.  Same with reviews on the platforms and here.
I hire locally and where I travel for work and a lot of good points have been made in this thread.  Be a good client and providers will treat you like gold.  
A good client doesnt waste time, is kind and respectful, does repeat business and is always clean when a meet happens.
I have said many times here that I am an average guy, late 50s and a little overweight.
I have had some fantastic, passionate times with guys I know are way out of my league and I just soak it in and enjoy.  I have also developed friendships with a few of guys.  Follow these rules, dont overthink it and enjoy!
 

Good question! I can only speak for myself of course, but there are a few answers here. The first thing is I genuinely love meeting new people as well as sex and physical connection; that’s what drew me to the work in the first place. It’s a great learning experience to be meeting guys of many different backgrounds and lifestyles rather than just living in the bubble in which I might otherwise find myself. In terms of initiating contact, it helps that I’m an empath and within a few minutes can generally discern the type of person he is inside. Everyone in this world has beautiful and interesting parts to his character, so I look for that and connect with it. Most people despite their flaws are good people who mean well and are trying their best. We’re never the villains in our own stories. Once I figure out the lense through which someone views the world, I can understand his behavior, even when we’re very different people. I also think about the fact he likely works really hard for the money he’s spending and how everyone deserves to feel seen, understood, and appreciated—especially those of who reach out to me. They deserve connection and compassion much more than the rest of you who have not, obviously. In terms of physical performance, just the act of being tuned in to someone mentally usually gets me aroused, but of course there are a variety of pharmacologic tools from pills to injectables as fall backs. During the encounter, I can say that it’s very easy to enjoy myself with clients. Hooking up from some dating app can have me deep in my head and focused on my insecurities and what the other guy is thinking, etc, which can make it hard to relax and be present; however, when I’m with a client, there’s something very validating and liberating in the knowledge that he finds value in my company and selected me from a catalog of gorgeous men, and that sense of being chosen usually makes me feel even more connected and appreciative of what we’re able to provide each other. I don’t mean financial or physical but the mutual feeling of acceptance and validation.
I can’t think of times I’ve actually been appalled by a client except for when related to certain behaviors. For example very early on when I started, I had a client ask for a lower rate to simply use some toys on me with no sex, which seemed reasonable at the time; however, without kissing or foreplay he began penetrating me with a dildo in such a rough and dispassionate way, I eventually told him I was uncomfortable, and he didn’t have to pay me anything if we could please stop. He replied “you know we have the ability to rate you on RentMen, right?” I let the session continue to preserve my five-star rating, but that was the moment I stopped considering discounts or other variables and basing the rate strictly on my time. Aside from threatening comments like that or refusal to pay agreed rates after a long session, it would be hard for me to find a client appalling, especially based solely on appearance. We’re all much more similar than we are different.
Anyway, this is only my experience, but hopefully it gives some insight into how we try to quickly connect with a new client and still create a meaningful encounter.

Try not to worry about these things. They’re not your problem. As others have said, focus on being a good client when you hire. That will endear you to him and as long as you hire the right guy you’ll have a great experience. 
However, if you really want answers here’s mine, from a provider’s perspective.
Performing?: Don’t assume that attraction has to be physical (this is linked to the ‘be a good client request’). Attraction can be to any personal attribute or even to a situation. One can tell oneself a story or go to a past situation in one’s memory. Of course it doesn’t always work. Every provider has experienced times when they couldn’t perform. That’s normal and usually nothing to do with the client. Remember that: nothing to do with the client. 

Love the job?: Yes, it’s not an easy job to do for any length of time if you don’t love it. So hire experienced guys not newbies. They love meeting good clients. Note the ‘good’ clients bit. 
Vet clients?: Yes, but subtly, via pricing and availability. I don’t ask for pics but a potential client starting their message with ‘hey’, sending an ‘available now?’ message at any time or especially after 10pm at night, sending a cock pic, asking for a discount or generally behaving sketchily will never get booked regardless of what he looks like or promises. So in that sense all the assholes are vetted out. This again links to the ‘be a good client’ point. 
So like I said, don’t worry about the provider’s job in the transaction, focus on yours and it will be fine. 

 
 
 

This is tough. I agree with others, you seem emotionally intelligent enough to realize the trap you're setting for yourself. Understanding our emotions doesn't mean we can always control them. But as @SirBillybob noted, we can manage them with proper techniques. 
But if you really want to find someone to spend your life with, you're not going to get that from a provider. 
We didn't start hiring - which we do as a couple - until we had been together for over 15 years. So neither of us have sought a BFE experience. We're mostly looking for a fuck buddy vibe when we hire. 
I agree with others that if you're looking for a relationship, you need to focus on that. The apps can be harsh so maybe try to get involved in some gay groups. 

He’s 5’8”. Imagine charging that for under 6 feet. 😂

It was quite the fun we had! Still got some things left to explore 😜

Since you're new to bottoming, you might be overdoing your prep. If you're on a high-fiber diet, take extra fiber (capsules or Metamucil), and douching should be minimal. This guy's videos are great: https://www.youtube.com/@BottomsDigest
Admittedly, I have a ton of experience. 😈 but since I came of age when everyone used condoms, prepping wasn't as much of a concern. So I've learned a lot in the past few years. And I've cut my prep to a minimum with no issues - like not even an odor. 
 

I've seen both of them and definitely prefer Wagner. I used to see Samgl, but after a couple of visits, I found him to be robotic and tuned out. Whereas Wagner is always very warm, gives me a big hug when I arrive, and before I leave. Wagner is also better at weaving the sensuality throughout the massage as opposed to the massage then HE. 

Here's something I posted a few months ago that may be useful to you. Good luck--and ENJOY!
===
Over many years, I've developed a sensitivity to allowing mutual touch to be, well, mutual. In other words, I try not to get grabby right off the bat, and allow myself to relax and let the masseur do what it is he does well. If I've chosen someone who has a good reputation and I like the way he describes his massage and I like his reviews and any communication with him, I'm intrigued to experience what HE does. I always try to choose someone who can combine therapeutic techniques with sensual and erotic touch. I try not to choose someone who is therapeutic only--OR someone who has no therapeutic skills at all and is using the massage as a means of finding escort clients. No offense to escorts--some of my best friends are or have been escorts. But I'm looking for guys who have developed their individual ways of combining massage with sensuality and eroticism.
So here's what I do--and what I DON'T do: I generally try NOT to grab and pull or interfere with his rhythm and technique. As he massages my back, I let my arms hang down the sides of the table, but I hold off touching his leg until he's done serious back and shoulder work. I just breathe into his touch. That creates a physical connection between us that is entirely in his control. It establishes that I respect him as a practitioner. And he of course can begin to "read" my body without his touch being overtly sexually charged. Once that mutual trust and respect has been established and he can see that he's got me moaning and groaning a little bit, I let my hand touch his leg. I might give it a little squeeze, but I definitely do NOT grab it--I still want HIM to be in control of where on my body he's touching me and how the massage progresses from therapeutic to to sensual. Relinquishing that kind of control is part of why I'm there. I try not to break the spell he is casting over me. I also try not touch his dick until he moves it near my hand. But once he does, I touch it and maybe hold it--but again, it's touching WITHOUT grabbing or breaking the mood. At this point he's probably massaging the inside of my thigh, maybe between my cheeks, maybe sliding his hand beneath my hips, maybe touching my balls and cock. If at that point he presses his crotch near my head, I might break the spell a little, raise my head and suck him--but just for a bit, again being careful NOT to signal that you want the massage to be over and all you want to do is cum and leave. Remember--he's not a trick and he's not just an escort--he's an erotic masseur. He's also a human being with a lot of joys and sorrows. And he's had experiences you can't even imagine. It's like a dance--but you have to let him lead. He can probably teach you a helluva lot about connecting physically, sensually, and erotically with another man. Whether it progresses further is up to the two of you. As they like to say on this board, your mileage may vary.  But if you travel far...tip accordingly.
All that to say that my advice is: Don't try to control it. Choose well. And allow yourself to let it happen. 

Love BottomsDigest videos/Insta

Since you're new to bottoming, you might be overdoing your prep. If you're on a high-fiber diet, take extra fiber (capsules or Metamucil), and douching should be minimal. This guy's videos are great: https://www.youtube.com/@BottomsDigest
Admittedly, I have a ton of experience. 😈 but since I came of age when everyone used condoms, prepping wasn't as much of a concern. So I've learned a lot in the past few years. And I've cut my prep to a minimum with no issues - like not even an odor. 
 

Familiarize yourself with the joys of frottage....

Masculinity is not subjective. 

"Queens out" lmao. That's a really funny term.

No one is TOTALLY masculine. Masculinity is subjective and culturally defined. 
It sounds like you're unfamiliar with gay culture and gay men. There are lots of guys who code switch, meaning they're presenting more masculine in their day-to-day but can "queen out" when they're engaging in gay culture. 
Policing people's mannerisms for signs of femininity is a shitty way to live. Maybe talk to someone about why you're obsessed with whether gay men act like gay men. 🤣
That said, Wagner comes across as quite conventionally masculine in his voice and mannerisms. I don't know if he queens out watching Drag Race or seeing a musical because I've only seen him for massages. 

I've seen both of them and definitely prefer Wagner. I used to see Samgl, but after a couple of visits, I found him to be robotic and tuned out. Whereas Wagner is always very warm, gives me a big hug when I arrive, and before I leave. Wagner is also better at weaving the sensuality throughout the massage as opposed to the massage then HE. 

No one is TOTALLY masculine. Masculinity is subjective and culturally defined. 
It sounds like you're unfamiliar with gay culture and gay men. There are lots of guys who code switch, meaning they're presenting more masculine in their day-to-day but can "queen out" when they're engaging in gay culture. 
Policing people's mannerisms for signs of femininity is a shitty way to live. Maybe talk to someone about why you're obsessed with whether gay men act like gay men. 🤣
That said, Wagner comes across as quite conventionally masculine in his voice and mannerisms. I don't know if he queens out watching Drag Race or seeing a musical because I've only seen him for massages.