tenderloin

My situation exactly. And yes, there are downsides to hiring, no question. And I still find that sex with a guy who is with you because he WANTS to be there (as opposed to someone who you are paying to smile and moan) is the hottest. That's what I have been trying to get back to, but I have spent way too much time wooing, and not enough fucking. I've made all sorts of arrangements (canceling meetings, changing travel plans, etc.) to meet someone only to have them flake out at the last minute. I am now so cynical I won't believe someone is real until they are in my apartment with their trousers down.
 
I misspent much of my youth in the closet, admiring but not touching. Now, in NYC, with an understanding husband, I am like a kid in a candy shop. Yes, there are some misfires, but generally the biggest obstacle is finding the cash.

I would also urge you to educate yourself on health issues - not just HIV, but the full range of STDs. There are many great gay health sites to do this. I don't want you to be scared of doing anything, but you should go into an encounter fully aware of the risks you take and decisions you make.

Definently noted. I so believe that I'm educated. However, I'll make doubly sure. Thanks for your concern!

I have recently been vividly reminded as to why I hire. I am a decent-looking guy, early fifties in ok shape, sometimes told I am handsome. Recently I have been dipping the toe in the online (non-escort) hook-up world, and wow what a psychotic place it is!
 
Getting into lengthy back and forth with people who aren't who they say they are, or flake out at the last minute, or I guess just get their jollies by exchanging dirty talk via text and email...it is endless. Seriously, there are a lot of people out there with too much spare time LOL. Suddenly the option of reaching out to a guy, fixing a time, and getting off and getting out is soooooo attractive.
 
Sorry, just had to vent.

Spring for a hotel room and hire Tim Drake. Not only is he omnivorously sexual, he is also just a nice, sweet guy who would be fun to hang out with. I hired him once when my #1 choice flaked out, and boy was I happy I did.

I have recently been vividly reminded as to why I hire. I am a decent-looking guy, early fifties in ok shape, sometimes told I am handsome. Recently I have been dipping the toe in the online (non-escort) hook-up world, and wow what a psychotic place it is!
 
Getting into lengthy back and forth with people who aren't who they say they are, or flake out at the last minute, or I guess just get their jollies by exchanging dirty talk via text and email...it is endless. Seriously, there are a lot of people out there with too much spare time LOL. Suddenly the option of reaching out to a guy, fixing a time, and getting off and getting out is soooooo attractive.
 
Sorry, just had to vent.

I have recently been vividly reminded as to why I hire. I am a decent-looking guy, early fifties in ok shape, sometimes told I am handsome. Recently I have been dipping the toe in the online (non-escort) hook-up world, and wow what a psychotic place it is!
 
Getting into lengthy back and forth with people who aren't who they say they are, or flake out at the last minute, or I guess just get their jollies by exchanging dirty talk via text and email...it is endless. Seriously, there are a lot of people out there with too much spare time LOL. Suddenly the option of reaching out to a guy, fixing a time, and getting off and getting out is soooooo attractive.
 
Sorry, just had to vent.

After my last LTR imploded four years ago I pretty much decided hiring was better for me. I also don't have the patience anymore for the online hook up app games.

I have recently been vividly reminded as to why I hire. I am a decent-looking guy, early fifties in ok shape, sometimes told I am handsome. Recently I have been dipping the toe in the online (non-escort) hook-up world, and wow what a psychotic place it is!
 
Getting into lengthy back and forth with people who aren't who they say they are, or flake out at the last minute, or I guess just get their jollies by exchanging dirty talk via text and email...it is endless. Seriously, there are a lot of people out there with too much spare time LOL. Suddenly the option of reaching out to a guy, fixing a time, and getting off and getting out is soooooo attractive.
 
Sorry, just had to vent.

For this man hiring a pro is the way to go. I'm not looking for a relationship. I want great sex. Hot raunchy sweaty etc. Nothing better. I hear what your saying. Good thing were in NYC where the choices are as varied as we all are.

I have recently been vividly reminded as to why I hire. I am a decent-looking guy, early fifties in ok shape, sometimes told I am handsome. Recently I have been dipping the toe in the online (non-escort) hook-up world, and wow what a psychotic place it is!
 
Getting into lengthy back and forth with people who aren't who they say they are, or flake out at the last minute, or I guess just get their jollies by exchanging dirty talk via text and email...it is endless. Seriously, there are a lot of people out there with too much spare time LOL. Suddenly the option of reaching out to a guy, fixing a time, and getting off and getting out is soooooo attractive.
 
Sorry, just had to vent.

I have recently been vividly reminded as to why I hire. I am a decent-looking guy, early fifties in ok shape, sometimes told I am handsome. Recently I have been dipping the toe in the online (non-escort) hook-up world, and wow what a psychotic place it is!
 
Getting into lengthy back and forth with people who aren't who they say they are, or flake out at the last minute, or I guess just get their jollies by exchanging dirty talk via text and email...it is endless. Seriously, there are a lot of people out there with too much spare time LOL. Suddenly the option of reaching out to a guy, fixing a time, and getting off and getting out is soooooo attractive.
 
Sorry, just had to vent.

I have recently been vividly reminded as to why I hire. I am a decent-looking guy, early fifties in ok shape, sometimes told I am handsome. Recently I have been dipping the toe in the online (non-escort) hook-up world, and wow what a psychotic place it is!
 
Getting into lengthy back and forth with people who aren't who they say they are, or flake out at the last minute, or I guess just get their jollies by exchanging dirty talk via text and email...it is endless. Seriously, there are a lot of people out there with too much spare time LOL. Suddenly the option of reaching out to a guy, fixing a time, and getting off and getting out is soooooo attractive.
 
Sorry, just had to vent.

I have recently been vividly reminded as to why I hire. I am a decent-looking guy, early fifties in ok shape, sometimes told I am handsome. Recently I have been dipping the toe in the online (non-escort) hook-up world, and wow what a psychotic place it is!
 
Getting into lengthy back and forth with people who aren't who they say they are, or flake out at the last minute, or I guess just get their jollies by exchanging dirty talk via text and email...it is endless. Seriously, there are a lot of people out there with too much spare time LOL. Suddenly the option of reaching out to a guy, fixing a time, and getting off and getting out is soooooo attractive.
 
Sorry, just had to vent.

I totally get it. Nothing like making your bottom take a Heineken or a Stella Artois up his hole, and squirt it out in the bath tub while you watch ...

If they are good questions, there is no problem with him asking. This is a discussion board, after all.

No way. I know that this has been covered before, but in my now considerable experience, EVERY TIME an escort has insisted on being paid up front, he didn't deliver afterwards. After the cash changes hands, you find out that he "just had dental work done" so he can't kiss, or his ass is sore so you can't penetrate, or he's come 12 times in the last three hours so he can't come again, or the minute I come he's pulling his pants on. My favorite was a guy who tried to claim that I was too large "down there" to fuck him. I should have such problems LOL!
 
I try to establish a rapport via email/phone with guys whom I am meeting for the first time so that they know I am going to treat them with courtesy and respect, but if it is cash up front, I show them the door.

No way. I know that this has been covered before, but in my now considerable experience, EVERY TIME an escort has insisted on being paid up front, he didn't deliver afterwards. After the cash changes hands, you find out that he "just had dental work done" so he can't kiss, or his ass is sore so you can't penetrate, or he's come 12 times in the last three hours so he can't come again, or the minute I come he's pulling his pants on. My favorite was a guy who tried to claim that I was too large "down there" to fuck him. I should have such problems LOL!
 
I try to establish a rapport via email/phone with guys whom I am meeting for the first time so that they know I am going to treat them with courtesy and respect, but if it is cash up front, I show them the door.

I have to respectfully disagree:
 
As to whether payment up front is more reasonable, it all depends on perspective. You believe the escort should be the one to know at the beginning of the session that he won't be ripped off because he already got his cash, but then that leaves the client at risk. In fact there have been numerous posts here over the years about people paying in full and then getting nothing in return. I can tell you that I have never paid someone in advance, but if I have someone over I will have the cash sitting out somewhere that's visible so the guy knows I'm not going to pretend to have no money when the session is over. For times when I visit a guy's place, though, I'm definitely not going to get out my payment at the beginning of the session and any guy who demands that is going to lose my business because I will simply leave. The only professional I pay in advance is my doctor because I have to pay my copay when I check in for an appointment. Otherwise I think the standard across nearly every industry is that the service is performed first and then payment is rendered. Sure, if a project is large there will be some sort of payment plan (pay half up front, half at the end, for example), but for an hour's worth of a professional's time I cannot think of any other business where some people try to rationalize that it makes sense for payment to be rendered in advance of the service being delivered. Comparing the delivery of a service to purchasing some sort of tangible item isn't the same, but if you wanted to use that analogy then it would be more fair to suggest that buying your groceries, bringing them home, and then returning to pay would be like expecting to hire an escort, go to his place, play, go home, and then return later to pay. No one is suggesting that that would be reasonable. But shopping for groceries and paying at the checkout before I leave is reasonable just like going to an escort's house and paying as I leave is reasonable. The grocery store doesn't expect me to put down a deposit as soon as I enter the store.
 
As to my specific situation, if the session was cut short due to lack of chemistry and I wanted to leave early or I was extremely turned on and came quickly and wanted to leave, then I agree that it would be improper to withhold payment. But this guy wasn't even giving me the courtesy of spending time with me. It wasn't even an option for me to spend more time with him even if that did involve just cuddling and talking because he basically kicked me out. Would you think it's fair for a restaurant to charge you for a full meal if the waiter told you you had to leave after eating the appetizer. By your logic, the diner should be happy to pay for the full mean because, after all, they ate something. What you view as stinginess I view as not giving in to someone's entitlement. I have, in fact, paid in full for many sessions that didn't last a full hour because I had come and the guy simply wasn't particularly personable post-orgasm. I would never suggest that I discount my payment because I didn't get to hang out another few minutes to chat. I very likely wouldn't return to such a guy, however, because I do like more of the "boyfriend experience" where the interaction goes beyond the purely sexual, but I would view such encounters as I got what I paid for. It's very different when a provider prematurely ends things because of his own personal issues.

I note @KS87 has been a forum member for less than a year. He has a right to pose a question without being told there are threads to be found elsewhere if he only does his homework. We are a discussion group after all and not writing an encyclopedia.

It is for most people. Hence the enhanced intimacy here.

I have a wonderful connection with a lovely, very sexy guy in NYC. We're friends on many levels, and I top him as often as possible. To be clear, I'm not into scat, but we've made the douching process part of our extended foreplay -- I think that the very intimate and personal of the process has made it into an incredibly bonding and sensual experience for us both. We are both rock hard throughout, and move seamlessly from shower to bed. I don't think it would work with just any guy who I didn't know, and I know it's not for all tastes, but wow what a trip.

I have a wonderful connection with a lovely, very sexy guy in NYC. We're friends on many levels, and I top him as often as possible. To be clear, I'm not into scat, but we've made the douching process part of our extended foreplay -- I think that the very intimate and personal of the process has made it into an incredibly bonding and sensual experience for us both. We are both rock hard throughout, and move seamlessly from shower to bed. I don't think it would work with just any guy who I didn't know, and I know it's not for all tastes, but wow what a trip.

Good sex needs to be messy sometimes. I don't mind a sloppy ass.
 
But mine is probably the minority view ...

In Brasil there were plenty of bottom or at least guys who liked a cock in their ass. In the end I don't care what you call you self or consider yourself as long as my dick can go in your butt.