RandyVue

I hope that you receive this in the spirit in which it is intended. I retired from being an escort in 2014. I retired from it young. I'm also Black, so you might appreciate my perspective in a different way, but maybe not. Here are 9 actionable things that you can do to help make your life better in my opinion:

1) Think about if you want to stay in the business, and for how long.  Think about whether the pros of the business outweigh the cons for you.

2) Move! If you want to stay in the business, you'll need to move to a different city and quickly! You mentioned that you wanted to take care of some things before moving, but you might find it easier to take care of those things if you move first.  If you have the means to move, make it a firm goal to do it within the next 30-60 days. 

3) Be very selective about where you move to. I did not experience nearly the level of grief that you are experiencing and there are many reasons why I think that is, but I think a lot of it has to do with where I lived and operated the business. 

4) Screen out flakes as best as you can. There are things you can do to limit the amount of time wasted with flakes. Be sure to control the conversation and guide them to the details of the appointment as soon as possible.  If they are dragging it out, that is a red flag. Move on! 

5) Don't engage with people who flake or cancel at the last moment. They are not paying you at that point, so cut off the contact; otherwise, you are donating your time, and engaging will only aggravate you more. If someone flakes, put them on your "do not book" list, and move on quickly! When they contact you again, (and they likely will), do not give them the time of day.

6) Have at least one other source of income. This isn't something specific to just you, but I think everyone should have multiple sources of income. You are less likely to tolerate nonsense from clients when you know you aren't relying on them for your bread and butter.  Having more than one source of income is empowering and good for your overall well-being.

7) Therapy. You mentioned having gone to a counselor. Make sure you are working with someone who is giving you actionable steps to help you deal with your responses to frustrations, feedback, and helping with develop a plan for a fulfilling life. Sometimes when people give you very sound feedback on this forum, I sense a sharp defensiveness from you. Defensiveness can be a natural response to protect oneself, but if it is unwarranted defensiveness it can indicate underlying emotional issues. I'm not saying you have emotional issues, but a good therapist can help figure that out. 

8 Have an exit plan. I have a handsome face, smooth skin, a nice smile, a 9 inch dick, and a round bottom. I made a lot of money, put it in the stock market, and got out.

9) Make sure you are doing activities and pursuing interests that you are passionate about and find joy in.

Okay, that's all I have to offer. I hope it helps.

@icecream I love your profile pic!!

On 9/5/2023 at 5:07 PM, Decatur Guy said:

Don't want 20 or 25 texts for a first-time connection? Let's talk on the phone for five minutes. That will speed things along -- and help establish chemistry. I'm not sure what constitutes "endless texting," but I can't get that all that wrapped up in a few back and forths. A lot of younger providers in particular undercommunicate. If someone is going beyond 20 to 25 texts, yeah -- increasingly that's a sign they are stringing you along.

Personally, I hate texting beyond a few back and forths. But so many providers are INSISTENT on only texting. If a provider insists on texting, and it's our first time, get ready for more than a few texts or get ready to lose a new client. Even a well-written ad can't cover all the things that need to be nailed down: Time to meet, where to meet, potential parking instructions, who has the lube/condoms (or not), what I look like, confirmation I'm keeping appointment, confirmation I'm on the way, etc. And yes, a little bit about expectations on what we both enjoy. A list on RM doesn't always cover it all in one fell swoop. Rimming. What does that mean? Give or get or both? See what I mean?

What on earth are you sending 20-25 text messages about? I do not believe for a second that you are sending a provider 20-25 messages to book an appointment. There’s no way! I would be embarrassed and I’d feel like a nuisance doing that. It reminds me of that movie Swingers where he calls the girl that he likes and leaves her like 12 messages for something he could’ve easily said in the first one…..and she tells him never to call again.

On 9/6/2023 at 9:58 AM, Archangel said:

I sometimes wonder what escorts do with all the time saved when they choose not to engage in small talk texting. I

Working their other jobs that pay them, studies if they’re in school, activities and hobbies that they are passionate about, spending time with their friends or family members, working out to stay in shape, working on their goals, etc.

On 4/16/2023 at 7:20 PM, Rocca said:

In my experience, I have not seen much variation in price based on race or color. I have seen variation in price based on age, and maybe fitness level. Ive seen older men charge a little less, and Ive seen older men who aren’t as fit charge less. 
Guys with model/actor looks are going to charge about the same black or white. Guys with average looks charge about the same black or white.

I agree. This has been my observation as well.

Can we get this back on the actual topic?

11 hours ago, rojjodc said:

I don't think so.  It would maybe even get worse, at least for a while.   And I don't think it is merely a gay issue as I suspect that nonwhite women generally make less than white providers.  I'm not sure how people can talk about rates when they are not published on Rentmen, which is the only site I know of right now.  

Rates are advertised on Rent Masseur. Also, there was a time when rates were allowed to be shown on Rentmen. So the providers rates have only gone up since then and they all know they can increase their rates reasonably with time. In addition to that, some providers talk to, and collaborate with each other.
Providers are not setting their rates “blindly,” which is why rates are generally about the same with vary little variation no matter which guy you hire. They know how much they can charge.

On 1/2/2023 at 8:36 PM, Storm4U said:

For me, the most challenging part was filtering through the time wasters and flakes.  Some cities have a higher concentration of that than other cities. I don’t have an active advertisement up anymore specifically because I did not want to deal with that part of the business anymore. When you don’t advertise and only see regulars, you know the regulars are reliable and you know they aren’t interested in wasting your time. 

Don’t you make less money if you don’t advertise?

What is the hardest part about being a provider, or is there something about the business that you just really don’t like?

What sorts of things do you find attractive in a client?

Anyone watch the miniseries Dhamer on Netflix? Thoughts??

Has Monkeypox changed how you feel about the business or how you conduct business?

9 hours ago, pubic_assistance said:

Certain fetish play such as "race play" can actually help heal emotional wounds by facing your fear in the context of an exciting sexual encounter.  

 

Can you please share an example of this?

On 6/2/2022 at 7:24 AM, marylander1940 said:

some folks still do, they still have it as card up the sleeve ready to be used. Even some folks in this forum have expressed being "uncomfortable" with gay marriage.

 

Some escorts have received requests by their clients to call them the N word. I doubt is a new thing though. 

I never said it was new. Im a former escort myself, so I know first hand that it isn’t new. I’ve had a handful of white clients ask me to participate in “race play”. The answer was “absolutely not”. Race play is  racism. It’s degrading someone or being degraded based on race, which is where I draw the line. 

Gym clothes seem to be getting more revealing. Anyone notice that shorts are getting shorter? What do you wear to the gym? Basketball Shorts? Sweats?

2 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

Can I turn the question around: are you in the business and thinking of quitting? I mean, it’ll help if you can give some insight if you may be questioning the decision?

No, I was in the business years ago when I was in college. I’m just more fascinated by the experience of others.

Have you ever quit the business or thought about no longer being a provider? If so, what kinds of things make you think about moving on and no longer doing it?

In Los Angeles $200 for a massage is the norm especially if you like massages with special attention. I think that’s a fair rate especially when you consider Los Angeles rent is extremely expensive.

Im curious about masseurs and providers  who travel. I would think that after paying for flights, hotel, transportation to and from hotel, etc that it would be difficult to make a trip financially beneficial and worthwhile. Am I wrong to assume that?

Im looking for current LA Masseur recommendations. Feel free to PM me if you want to give details.

How often are you guys getting massages these days??

As a former escort, I agree with everything @Storm4U said.

Cost of living in major cities has gone up 18%-20%, so from $150 to $180 is not unreasonable. The boys have to pay rent.

Yes, rates are going up. Cost of living has gone up significantly in major cities, and inflation has made everything more expensive. Im seeing increases in many services, so an increase in provider rates was inevitable.

I'm not a provider (anymore) but here is my perspective. I have been vaccinated and boosted and live a healthy lifestyle. There will be more variants and surges to come, but life goes on. This is the new normal. It's not really a question of if we will get COVID, but more likely when,  and making sure that we are healthy and/or vaccinated (if you are comfortable with the vaccine) for when it comes so that it won't be so dire. COVID is here to stay for the foreseeable future folks (years), but live healthy, maybe get vaccinated, mask up, and keep living.