DynamicUno

I tried texting him some time ago but he never responded. His ad currently says "not available".

I'm not sure how anyone could conflate you mentioning personal chemistry with using drugs, unless they themselves were under the influence.

I do wish @lseactuary90 would participate more effectively in this disussion. So far he's provided no information that would allow anyone to help him. He wants his mind blown but has given no insights to his interests. This is probably why he is bored and unsatisfied with his hookups, he's basically lying back and expecting someone else to do the work.

You are asking some good questions about how to get started. You're already using RM, which is your best bet for finding reputable guys to hire. While you can probably find some guys close to you by using the "Near me" function, you're a short ride on the LIRR to NYC which has the biggest variety of providers in a single city in the country. I'll try to answer some of the questions you posted: How should I go about my initial contact? If the provider says he has a preferred contact method (i.e. RM Chat, Text, Call, etc), do that first! A lot of guys prefer text these days, because it's less intrusive than a call and more reliable than RM chat. If they don't give a preferred method, text messages are usually the safest bet. That said, while the RM chat feature is hit or miss depending on the provider, using it does enable you to post a review if you're a premium RM member. Is there a good protocol to follow to get a guys interest and show him I am a good, respectful, kind and serious client? Good question! The best way to show him you're a good, respectful, kind, and serious client is to send messages that are respectful, kind, and serious. A solid first message would be something like "Hi <name>, I saw your ad on RM. I'm planning to come into the city this weekend and would love to meet you. Are you available Saturday around 7?" Be patient and know that some guys are going to be more responsive than others for any number of reasons. If a guy doesn't get back to you in a reasonable timeframe, move on to antother or try again another time. Are there ways I can filter out some guys so I only connect with guys who are a bit more professional, serious and customer service focused? Some of biggest indicators would be a well written profile that has been active for some time, with good reviews (using a proxy to see RM from a non US based IP will let you read review text which can be very enlightening). Posting questions here about guys who catch your interest is also good way to weed out flakes (though not a guarantee). Am I just spoiled by women sex workers and have to adjust to the reality there are fewer options this way? Maybe. Sex work in the heterosexual world is orders of magnitude larger. Still, there's plenty of great guys in the business, just take your time and do what you can to check a guy out before trying to set up a meeting.

If only there were a handy resource to find guys working as escorts in a given city where they describe the services they provide, their attributes, and post photos and videos. It would be so easy for someone to post some examples of what kinds of guys they were interested in. We could call it lease.guys or timeshare.dudes or something like that.

I don't feel right being called a "daddy", but a "papi!" at right time could make me melt.

Although your original question wasn't about having an overnight with this client, it does seem to have some similar concerns for you to feel comfortable with it. If you have done overnight sessions before, what has helped make for a successful session that you both enjoyed? Some of the same things could help in this case, too, since it sounds like you'll spend several hours together.

That's unfortunate, he took your time for granted and didn't care for you telling him that. I'd say if he ever tried to set up something again, simply say you're not available if you don't want to see him again. No need to explain to him further or set any conditions, you don't owe him that. Make it easy for yourself and put your attention on clients who will make the effort to keep a meeting or let you know what's going on if things don't work out to plan.

I think round trip plane ticket and hotel room cost for the day you're meeting would be reasonable. Uber for at least the trip to the hotel, as well. If you stay extra days without planning to see the client, then the extras nights and return to the airport are at your own cost. I'd say meals are also on your own unless it's part of the appointment with him.

How far is the client from you? Do you have to fly to see him? If you have to stay overnight, are you staying with the client or in a hotel? The client should pay for the travel expense up front, and any accomodations if you don't stay with the client. Otherwise it could be a fun excursion for you.

The client in this case was definitely inconsiderate and disrespectful of your time. Business travelers often have events that run longer than expected, but he completely flaked on you and you lost out on potential earnings on his account..I would say you are within your rights to avoid meeting this client in the future or at minimum require a firm appointment as a condition for meeting. Hopefully the clients who are more respectful of your time will outweigh the ones who aren't.

💩

If I ever do drag, it'd be Rhonda Santis. I saw the cutest pair of white boots that would bring the whole outfit together.

Whew, I'd give it a try if I were in NYC!

I understand wanting to avoid unnecessary conflict. If you don't think reporting the user is an option, I'd say block them in RM, and flag any phone numbers they have used to contact you to ignore. If a user on RM has no intent of ever hiring you in good faith, why should you worry about them being upset if you don't play their games?

You can certainly report a user on RM if they're being abusive in some way. You also have the option of blocking the user, as well. It's not perfect, but you certainly don't have to keep dealing with someone who is jerking you around.

I was wondering the same thing about how this kind of service would make sense in the current climate. The only area I can think of would be for clients who require and can afford such a degree of discretion that they could not engage with anyone who is openly an escort in the market like providers on RM. Even then, I can't see such a business making sense because there are so many other avenues that encroach on that area. It's even more restricting if they're focused only on certain cities.

In my opinion, the idea of "usual or acceptable" depends on the context. Generally speaking, as long as the contact maintains reasonable discreation and isn't "pushy" then there is no issue. Occasionally a provider will reach out to me by RM chat when they see I've viewed their ad. RM's design allows clients who are logged in to a profile to show that they'v viewed a provider or block it at their option. If I am looking at guys in another city and they contact me after looking at them, I let them know I'm browsing and if and when I'm going to visit their town. Never had any issue with that. If you don't want those kind of contacts, set your profile to not show your viewed traces. I also don't mind it if I get a text from a travelling guy who I've seen before who is letting me know they're going to be in my area, so long as they don't get pushy when contacting me. Text me once and keep it PG, I'll respond when I am free to do so. I don't think I've ever had anyone who has been a problem that way, however.

He could be just going about his day, doing whatever. I don't expect an instant response, and I was up front that I'm not in NYC right now ready to book a time immediately. Either way, he does seem to keep busy so we'll see if he does respond. I'll report back if I get a differetn quote than Cliff.

Cool. I sent him a text message asking about his rate, but haven't gotten a response yet.

His profile was expired for a while, but I've followed him on JFF. If I were near NYC I'd be tempted, even if he was asking a steeper rate.

I think most people behave differently online vs in person, even if they don't mean to. People adapt to the tone and customs of the community they are engaging with, negatively or positively. This has been true ever since the BBS and Usenet days. The only real "innovation" that social media brought was feedback mechanism (i.e. "likes" or "retweets") creating a reward mechanism. When the reward is based mostly on engagement it leads certain people to learn which emotional buttons to poke to get more responses, good or bad, and their online personas change accordingly. Sites that had mechanisms to discourage high emotion topics (politics, religion, etc) such as LinkedIn saw less of this kind of behavior. Personally, I've cut back all usage to only direct contact by messenging. I don't post, scan the feeds, click on likes, etc. I also try to keep them from putting notifications on my phone unless it's someone messaging me, but facebook seems to be the worst about finding ways to ignore that. I've been tempted to remove the app entirely.

I wonder if he'll get to take the testicle tanner with him, or if someone else in the newsroom called dibs.