TallMuscl37

No, I don’t. Nor do I need to. What’s the point you’re trying to make here? In other news, one of the flakes of the week actually gave me a phone call, and we had a heart to heart as to why I had blacklisted him and sent a cancellation fee request. After some understanding, it appeared he didn’t think he made an appointment (I’ve discussed this before in the past), yet his messages said something completely different. I had to let him know: you said this, but your texts said that. How am I supposed to decipher between what you said, and what you meant? And...without you responding to it for the whole day. So we kissed and made up, and he sent me a $50 apple voucher. Normally it would have been $100, but considering he was a good client, I let it slide. I wish more people would be like that. Sometimes misunderstanding happen, but sometimes you just got to talk it out. I know most clients come to us to avoid the idea of talking and relationships and all that complicated stuff that makes sex become “work”, but there’s no free passes. You can’t just do whatever the fuck you want, just because you don’t feel you have to answer to anyone. If you say, “lets meet tomorrow”, you made an appointment. It doesn’t matter if it’s not: “let’s meet at 9 pm Tuesday at 6969 Wood street.” People try to be overly technical with things.

thanks. Tell me about it. I feel like I’m living in a nightmare. And it started out as 2, but there’s just been general speckles of it throughout the month. It’s just the reality of living in bad market. Just the whole Bible Belt region is just not good. The ones out here will hire someone 1 time, and never get to build any regulars. @Shawn Monroe was so right about Kansas City, I should have to the cue and left while I was ahead... well even though it sounded like he was “just hitting you up for money”, fact is once you said you’re not hiring, and you weren’t helping...what more can he say?

I told him I liked his solution. But what rubbed me wrong is when he made a personal statement about me being in the business and constantly frustrated. That’s what offended me. Now the message is changed. You can state a point, I can state a point, we all can. But no need to start making personal decisions FOR me, as if I’m the weakest link. Flakes do happen BUT. What are we going to do about it? Taking a passive role and not seeing the person again may work to keep things cordial, but real respect for the business won’t be earned until we actually show we need reimbursement for our time. Otherwise all they’re going to go do is go do it to someone else. I can’t wait until escorting becomes an Uber app. It’s already like that, except people book and request us and we don’t get paid. Just wait until the 2nd you click our profile and get our number, you get charged $100. Lord have mercy, BRING IT!

What that’s my prerogative whether I decide to stay or go. I know what you’re saying, but it doesn’t always take 2 chances to inconvenience someone. That’s what I’m trying to get across. You did it how you wanted to do it, and that’s great..but your way may not work for everybody. Why give 2 chances to get stood up? I rather it be a one and done deal. And it’s also too tempting to give chances after they show after the first flake event, but then have it happen again down the line. Thing is, that assumes they actually get around to doing the deposit. Which doesn’t always happen. Therefore it’s not always a case of building cancel fee into the deposit. A deposit can be $50. A cancel fee can be half the session. Some guys I’ve known asked the whole thing.

Easier said than done. I be wanting them to reimburse for the expected earnings and lost time. It’s like, how would they feel if they were expecting to do a job for someone, and they fucked them off. Every appointment that is flaked, is lost earnings that I may or may not recoup to pay important things I may have. And in the case of this week, it’s now costing me extra, that I don’t even have, on top of the lost sessions flaked on. So now I’m in double trouble.

It didn’t become about that. I just brought it up one time. It simply referred to how in the gay community, we’ve never mattered much. I notice whenever I go out in public, White women are always the first and only to compliment me on an outfit, cologne, start a conversation, etc. THAT is how that came up. Whereas gay guys regularly give the stink eye, and do petty, childish shit like talk about meeting, and then flake for no apparent reason. And just when you thought they were dead or were in a horrible accident, they’ve just been mind fucking you the whole time. That’s not flaking. That’s being a normal human being. Flaking is this (not verbatim conversation but based on real life example this week) Flake: Hey remember me? you available to meet tomorrow? Me: Yes, nice to hear from you again Flake: Cool, I’ll text you tomorrow when I get settled. Not sure how day is going to go (red flag) Me: Hi, are you still on for meeting today? Just need to know what time I should be leaving my house. Him: No response Me (next day): Hey I didn’t hear anything back yesterday, if you’re not able to make it after all, can you kindly leave my cancellation fee. Him: No response Me (end of day): Sends cancel fee request Him: No response Me: I’m blacklisting you Him: goes nuts and acts like he never made an appointment

In the model industry, and just general photography, guys will show a better definition and tone trimmed or shaved. Most any advertisement of a shirtless man will show this, but it may not always be completely waxed...It may be like a bit of buzz or a little below. I used to do the real hairy look, but I noticed in one of my photo shoots years ago, it came out looking kinda 70s pornish, and it just wasn’t the look I was going for on that set lol. The next day I trimmed, and did a different photo set. some of us (as those with curly or “ethnic” hair), I notice it often looks better shaved with just a 1/8” trimmer or something like that. Or an adjustable trimmer on the longest setting. That way you leave just enough hair to see but to also reveal definition, and as it grows out over the course of 2 weeks, it’ll continue to look better. But once it becomes all kinky and coily, time to trim again. My chest looks and feels a lot better that way. However I don’t care for the completely smooth shaven look unless a guy happens to just have tattoos they want to appear better (and I know a guy who got tattoos on his hairy chest, I didn’t think it was necessary)

That’s a good way to do it. However some just have a knack for doing it again. There was a client in one area who I’d seen more than a couple times. He’d try to schedule, but then something come up...I was considerate of the circumstances but informed of my cancellation policy. But then we made plans to follow up later in the month when I was back in the area, which I did...and something else came up. No offer to reimburse either time. So no more for him. I know some are reading and thinking, “gay sex and escorts are supposed to be fun and non-committal. Why so much hassle?” And it is. 100%. But don’t let it become so fun and non-committal that basic courtesy just goes out the window. It’s not that hard. I don’t get why these guys make it so hard. I don’t need a reason, I just need courtesy. That way I can decide for myself, the next move. One guy years ago cancelled for no reason on the 2nd meet, but sent me $500 without my even asking. I have a friend who is a wedding planner, any clients who flake on him, he keeps the deposit. Clients flaking starts off innocent, but tends to cause real life issues for the escort.

No therapist needed. I’ve already surveyed and analyzed how these things work. A therapist would only sit and listen, and tell me how I can reframe my thoughts...but the dynamic wouldn’t change. I know it seems crazy to say what I said, and surely it’s off topic. But it’s true. Sad, but true. I have noticed in many areas outside of the main metropolitan cities, majority of Black guys I have come across who are actually doing half decent for themselves, and have a relationship going, are “generally straight” and partnered with White women. Period. I have very rarely EVER seen a Black guy who’s gay and happily partnered, or even partnered at all...in rural America and areas outside of your main metropolitan cities: DC, Chicago, LA, etc. And in the smaller markets like Kansas Shitty, Nashville, and Columbus, it’s more of a “it can happen” sort of thing, but only if you’ve got the connections. Otherwise, forget about it. But only reason I brung that up is because the fact I’m tired of just everybody in the gay comms bullshit in general. There’s a guy I’ve been “talking to” where we met one time. Once. Like back in March or April. We just could not get around to meeting the 2nd time. We lived 1 state over, but it wasn’t a long stretch to meet because I was often in his area on more than 1 occasion, but it was always an excuse. We kept in touch regularly up until last month, then the other week he tells me he’s in a relationship and they’re not open. And I’m supposed to be fucking, giving chance after chance in my professional life to a client? That 1 chance they do the “ghost” or the last minute cancel, it clearly sets the stage for more of the same down the line...that’s why I’m more willing to burn bridges more so nowadays. I did that before with clients, and that was the same way I ended up losing my condo that I worked so hard for over 5 years maintaining: because some fucking idiot clients, one who was a regular, kept standing me up time after time and I kept giving chances. I was already behind on my payments at the time due to the shutting of rentboy, they just stuck the dagger in and twisted it, making it worse. And the client today talking he’s going to get his lawyer and sue me for asking my cancellation fee. I’d LOVE to go to court. I said, Matter of fact, let me do the favor for you: I’ll go to your city tomorrow and file in small claims for the session you flaked on, and make it easier for you. Since I already have all your information. How about THAT lol. I’m thinking to myself, he had time to say all of that, but didn’t have time to say, “today is hectic, let’s reschedule for...” Just blatant disregard for the profession. And they wonder why I don’t care either ??‍♂️

Everything you said sounds great and reasonable. BUT... What does that have to do with a client not following thru when they arrange a second meet? Sure they may have perfectly reasonable reasons to not show up, but they weren’t too busy to text me initially. And then to not say anything at all? Like I’ve been arguing with 2 (1 of now is a former) clients this evening about that. If something came up, just say it. Why play this passive aggressive game like something devastating happened to you, then when I text them they are blacklisted, suddenly they want to respond with 1,000 texts as to how I’m so in the wrong. This goes back to what I was saying a few threads ago: I just don’t understand men anymore. I think I want to not be gay anymore. Maybe I’ll have better luck with White women like many Black men seem to have. Too many gay men are garbage and a joke. I can’t deal with this shit no more. I’m going to turn myself straight ? I feel numb to black lives matter, because I know to majority in the gay community, black lives only matter when you’re doing the same shit they’re doing, and they think being around you makes them look a little bit better. Any other time, they don’t give a goddamn fuck about it otherwise.

That sounds at-least halfway manageable. I haven’t seen a client in Kansas City since Labor Day, except one attempted booking who didn’t want to pay a deposit. (because it involves me driving to the “in” parts of town, getting a hotel, and likely be the only appointment I get that day. which makes no sense to NOT want to have something upfront). And there doesn’t seem to be any other bookings in sight for this week. Most likely it’ll be something last minute, where they want me to host, but don’t want to confirm. Predictable. But I was able to schedule a different client later in the week in a different town about 2 hours away. I almost don’t feel ashamed to say it was a waste of time. It was just 1 hour, and I had to get a hotel, and it was the only client I booked that day. Normally that area would simply be a “Stop and Go” destination, but considering it was a Friday night, I was hoping for the best. If I don’t leave the business, I definitely need to leave this region and never look back. This is the epitome of sex workers living in poverty. And I was never intending to be in those circumstances.

But here’s the thing: what I meant by getting a “pass”, clients shouldn’t be like, “oh he’s an escort, he doesn’t care about me. Therefore me hitting him up, faking an appointment and not going thru with it shouldn’t matter”. That’s petty and childish. And I’d assume people who do are likely as such. In a way it’s basically trying to “gauge” whether the provider actually cares about the client, by flaking out on a 2nd meet. “Let me bail on this session, and see what happens. Then let me contact him a few months later and pretend it didn’t happen” ? It’s obviously something behind It. I personally wouldn’t expect any respect if I did. It’s already been 3 times actually this month, where a previously met client bailed on meeting up and then didn’t bother to reschedule or follow up with sort of explanation. Even though I can walk away and be done, that’s also a lost of expected earnings. I can walk away and be done, after they reimburse me. If they want to ignore it, that’s when I have to escalate it. At that point, they’ll know their bridges are burnt. I had a new client earlier this year pull something similar. I was extra annoyed because I’d spent a whole extra 2 days in South Florida in between another client...then he bailed. He kept ignoring reimbursing me for the session. Few days later when he seen what the next solution was going to be, he immediately sent it no questions asked.

If you are assuming whether that should be a “pass” for someone to stand someone up, I would certainly hope not. But I certainly wouldn’t care about them once they show they don’t care about me. At that point; we might as well just be enemies because they’ve already proven to not have any regard for me, once they’ve gotten what they wanted.

And that I understand. But my thing is, why lie about it? If a person isn’t going to be able to do the session, don’t fake as if they want to do it. To me, it just says they don’t give a ? about me as a person or the interaction. Just playing games and not taking me seriously at all. At one point, I’ve just been more on the side of burning the bridges with them, than to give 2nd chances. Once they do that, the trust and transaction is over for me unless they fully reimburse for the lost session.

Twice. 2 different previously met clients where both sessions went very well (and they all followed up to let me know so). Had prospective appointments yesterday and today, and both failed to follow up. Not even a “cant make it today” (which isn’t much better, but atleast it shows signs of life. The usual remedy would be to lay out my cancellation policy, and include that they will be blacklisted if no other response given. But lately I’ve been trying to be more forgiving and not “hold it against them”. Sometimes I wonder though, if they do the shit on purpose just to mess with us. So rather than play into it, I’m working to just silently blacklist them...so when they try and hit me up again, they’ll know I haven’t forgotten. It’ll be case of, “hi, I noticed on September 13th, 2000 and...., you scheduled an appointment and didn’t show up. Why should I trust that you’ll show up this time around?” And the worse part, they usually always pick the wrong time to mess me around. Like when I’m going thru a not very good week at the moment. Like they just push me to that point where I want to react. Should I be evil? Maybe, maybe it’s not ?

lol, I can’t help but admit that actually sounds like a nice side job! “Bathhouse security patrol”. Sounds like a perfect start to a porn flick ??‍♂️

well, I would almost say I think we as “Internet” escorts have bridged that gap. I would say most of my clients are the married/partnered type who are DL or half way out the closet. But that can also be an issue as it usually always requires us to host, and often not being able to confirm via pay app deposits.

In that case I might as well forget about trying to get into this incall location I been considering moving to. I have to be able to show I’m making 3.5x the monthly rent, and that’s barely even happening. And that’s what clients don’t understand. Lately it seems the majority want us to host, but how are we supposed to be able to maintain accommodations at this rate. That’s why lately the only way I’ve been hosting is by appointment, in hotel, with a deposit. But even that has become tedious. All I need is 2 to 4 outcalls a week on a steady base. That’s not even happening. I’ve had 2 outcalls in the last 2 weeks. And only 1 incall in the past week ?

Any updates? I noticed some people came out to play since Labor Day, but in my area it’s still been pretty slowed up. Only had 2 clients last week, but nothing this weekend. I’m seriously thinking about retiring for a bit. If I end up coming into this windfall, I’m leaving. The biz has become so far removed from making real money, it’s just becoming not even worth it right now. I’m just about ready to quit. This whole last week, I’ve just been pretty much in a state of trying to figure a way out. Doesn’t help that I’m in shitty market to begin with, but I can’t seem to get to a point where I can leave.

Yeah it’s kind of like comparing Miami and Houston. I suppose you could use your imagination, and pretend you are in Miami while in Houston. But it’s not going to Miami. Or LA, for that matter. Even though the 2 share similar qualities. It’s always going to be that 1 “something” that reminds you it’s not quite comparable.

Definitely not similar cities. Chicago is midwestern and New York is east coast. Also much more expansive. People in other states will say they’re from Chicago, that could be like someone from Burbank saying I’ve not really spent a lot of time in New York, but Florida has a lot of New York influence to where I feel I’ve been there for awhile. I know some cities are trying to trend to being the next Chicago alternative: St. Louis, Denver and Minneapolis. I personally wasn’t able to find my niche in Chicago...from escort perspective. It’s a big city with lots of competitors, but it’s fun to go with friends. However, the crime factor is certainly a factor. Never had anything happen to me there, but I’ve seen the fights break out after the gay bars on the south side... I try to avoid cities with too many of ‘us’ folks as it is. Its often a struggle as a minority myself, and never seems to improve my bottom line financially. I’m having that issue lately in Kansas City. Just dead, day after day after day. Nothing steady happening. I been alternating staying in St. Louis, but even there it hasn’t been any significant improvement. It’s just been barely getting by. Me thinks it’s time to hit a major metropolis like SF or New York/Boston myself. But if you’re already situated with a job and housing, by all means...it’ll be great.

I only CHOSE to give one example that coincides with this time 20 years ago. Since you’re so motivated about proof, prove to me that people weren’t afraid to fly for a much longer time after that. I highly doubt it was back normal after 6 months. Did you forget about Anthrax? That was like a year later. I don’t think people felt “normal” until Bin Laden in 2011 and Suddam Hussein in 2006. 9/11 and the threat of terrorism was constantly on the headlines just about everyday up until mass shootings started making headlines. There was no “normal”, it was just people doing what the heck they needed to do: and that was to get to where they needed to go. It was NEVER back to normal. And don’t forget about the shoe bombing incident after that time as well. that said, this is getting political. I’m walking ?? ? away ??

Maybe this will be better fitted to your question. You DEFINITELY can’t tell me people weren’t afraid to travel after that. I wasn’t in the business at that time, but I don’t know what kind of hits the industry sustained after that time. Maybe @Kevin Slater could chime in with some insight...

For this reasons and others, I’m “considering” discontinuing my membership on A4A for a little while. Even though it is just $30, the quality of provider AND client seems to question the purpose. It seems to work better in some markets than others, but it’s hard to tell when and where it’ll be handy. If not using it in a reliable market where you can get clients already from Rentmen and others to begin with, it probably won’t make much of a difference. Like in places like Kansas City, Orlando and Los Angeles, A4A isn’t going to fix the already underperforming market in which other websites are based on. It’s also tedious to have to keep logging in because people there don’t treat it like an ad, they just try to get free chat time rather than contact direct and schedule a visit.

Too late, I’m already having champagne ? ? yeah, I think it’s too soon for guys to be headlining: “tested positive for coronavirus antibodies, so I can’t give it to you...” It’s not exactly HIV and prep. It’s just too soon to actually tell. For all we know, or don’t know, having antibodies could equate to being “positive” for life, just like HIV. That’s why I’m just like fuck it, expect every day a new discovery will come out... perhaps it’ll mate with seasonal pollen and dooms us all. But gotta keep on trucking, regardless. Everytime they say it’s the end of the world, it’s not. Bills still end up due