TallMuscl37

And in kind, I would assume that because a provider on RM has verified photos/ID and reviews...that sending money in advance typically shouldn’t be something looked down upon, even if mintboys says otherwise. But obviously the quality is different as well. Then again, that’s what could make it hard for “real” escorts to post on a site, if the site is actually advising against an escort having a verification process of their own. In that case, it makes me wonder: who’s manning the ship ? ?

Okay. Let me try to reason with, as I have to do with others, when I have the will. You were burned once. By whom? Did they have reviews? You know how many times I’ve been burned? Add up at MINIMUM, once a month, since 2008. And then give me the math. And I would assume by burned, you refer to instances where you’ve spent money (a deposit) and they didn’t show. In our case, it would be spending money on a hotel, or ad (remember, it’s free to contact us, but it’s not free to advertise to you), or even planned whole trips pre-paid in advance (e.g. the great 2009 Boston flop where everyone cancelled or no showed, except for 1 forum member, and then a couple guys from Craigslist later in the trip). And the great 2010 Indianapolis trip where 100% of clients cancelled, except for 1 last minute. Obviously those are older examples, and it’s uncommon for that to happen nowadays (back then I was in my 20s, now I’m in my early 30s, so have a bit better process). BUT, it still happens atleast once or twice during a trip. The only difference is I generally can recover the loss, provided there’s other clients booking. But that doesn’t always happen. Or it doesn’t happen in the timeframe that it needs to. Which is why I push cancel fees. And mind you, the once a month is at minimum. Multiply by 2 or 3, and see why it’s irrelevant that you’ve gotten burned “once”. We’ve already heard of clients here give examples of escorts who had traveled to cities and said they only had 1 client. Do you think only 1 person contacted them?

I’ll conveniently quote you both, since it seems like that’s what y’all 2 are wanting. In the situation that @leftbench23 mentioned, yes...that’s clearly uncalled for. I would have left after 5 minutes, if I had arrived someplace and a client didn’t respond at all til 6:22. I was only asking to get more information, and not immediately condemn the situation. But I’ve said before; not everyone on RentMen is “real” to begin with, and I can even see how the behavior of other escorts, can negatively affect how clients view their next encounter. BUT: as it pertains to cancels and deposits, and wasting time: we’re talking 2 different things. There’s a difference between what left bench mentioned, versus “incessantly” answering calls and texts from people who aren’t serious round the clock, and having nothing to show after 7 days into paying $100 for ads.

That’s a good perspective you make. And I can see why it’s important to not wait for one contact, especially if you’re limited on time. However, I don’t think your strategy should be contact multiple providers in one sitting (not saying you’re doing that, but assume that’s what you mean). For example: rather than contacting 5 escorts in 5 minutes, you could perhaps contact 1 at a time, and if you don’t hear back within a certain parameter of time (say, an hour or 2 if it’s for same day visit...), then reach out to others. However, this is also why I have been suggesting people to schedule me with 24 hours notice. I don’t like to be in constant fear that if I don’t clutch my phone round the clock, I could miss an appointment. I like to set the stage that, it “COULD” be 24 hours before I respond as well, but it takes out the idea that I’m competing with other guys for who responds first...

Explain further: Was there actually a delay verbatim as you say, or did said escort say he needed more time to get ready? Because there is a difference. If the appointment was at 6 and he didn’t respond until 6:22, then yeah...something is off. But if he said he needed more time to get situated, and you left anyway...that’s not the best move. I feel like many people (not you) are impatient and just need to find the will to wait. I see it all the time at stores. If a person has to wait or feel like they’re being ignored, they just fucking walk off and leave. People act like they’re afraid to chase or run people down anymore. It’s not necessarily being a doormat, but sometimes people like escorts in service industries are trying to do a million things at once, and shit happens. However, as it pertains to your situation...I know 15 minutes seemed like a long time, especially when someone new...but if was simply a case of him needing more time to get ready, I think it wouldn’t of hurt to stick around.

The fallen Men4Rentnow.com had previously had a section where escorts could rate clients and search numbers/emails. A few times there were some beneficial warnings, other times it helped to ensure the client was legit when a good one was made. Some clients even asked ME to review THEM lol. They wanted good reviews. Sadly, M4RN fell to the pandemic of SESTA/FOSTA...but I have wrote to Rentmen and company about doing the same. They’re kinda dragging their feet on the idea, but I don’t see any harm in doing so. In fact, I think well to do clients could benefit from escorts giving them good feedback, and dissuade the messers from having an endless bounty of providers to waste time. As is the case for Rentmen messenger, which is why I won’t engage in chat, and have it always set on auto reply.

Oh really??? Ha. Businesses have been fucking people over for far more than an escort posting a client’s number on a niche online bulletin board. This whole fucking country revolves around your credit score, and how a person pays their bills and creditors. I’m only learning from what the corporate world has done to us for so long... https://www.experian.com/ https://equifax.com/ http://transunion.com/ I’ve had a couple guys pull that on me. They don’t seem to understand that: A) If they “sue”, they will essentially be a plaintiff. Which means going to trial, with us to testify. B) if they “press charges”, they will still be listed in the report as well. Whenever they pull that on me, I’m like: have your attorney call me. Matter of fact, what’s your attorney’s number, I’ll call them! Just don’t forget I have the texts showing you contacted me first lol. But at this point, I put an end to the mayhem. Over the past several weeks, I’ve only had 1 idiot mess me over, and only because I bought into his “I don’t do deposits because I been burned before” craft. I don’t meet anyone without a deposit anymore. It’s nothing about not trusting people, it’s just about making sure I’m not spending my money and time, before I get paid for my time. Nothing personal. Even my married discrete clients seem to have no issue doing so. They have separate accounts. I used to make exceptions, but when even former regular clients leave you high and dry, it’s become so standard for me, that I don’t even think twice. And lately all my coordinating of appointments have been much better and less on edge about the probability of it taking place.

Exactly, not to mention the latest trends seem to be people booking 9 minutes in advance lol. Hence why slowing down on same day appointments. It used to be guys booked 2 weeks in advance. Sometimes even 2 months. Not so much.

True or not true...I don’t think it belongs in an ad. HIV status has its part and reasons for being a staple in many advertising venues, but not when it comes to COVID. Not to mention, if HIV antibodies=HIV positive and transmittable, that hypothetically could put COVID antibodies in the same category.

Good word. But sometimes, when you’re new...these mistakes are just part of learning the biz And becoming smarter. I know lots of guys, myself included who have gone on these trips expecting something more than what was possible. Like some of my early trips to Chicago and Houston, thinking seeing lots of big dicked muscle black escorts meant that I would do really good as well...because if they’re doing good, I could hypothesize that I would do good too. NOT. But then it took awhile to realize: if there’s “no” clients booked and confirm (even 1 is okay, I’ve gone to many places with only 1 client booked and it was still worth the trip), don’t go. So when it comes to working in another country, I would need to have something extracurricular going on plus extra funds in the event something didn’t go accordingly. Because it would seem hard pressed to plan, in the way I want to... when I have to book a flight and accommodations weeks or months in advance.

I’ve seen that, but I don’t think it’s necessarily a great idea. It’s our right to have privacy for medical records. Obviously it’s different than disclosing HIV status, but I don’t think it should be used as a selling point. People are still traveling. I’m hoping to not take any hit, but just gotta chug as usual. Holidays can be hit or miss. My plan is to catch what I can the days leading up to each holiday, but I think I may be turning my phone off from thanksgiving eve thru the Sunday after. Last year in Denver wasn’t great even without a pandemic. And it bears repeating: some cities are going to be more lacking than others. I know for me: Saint Louis and Kansas City have pretty much fell off. Lately it’s just been regulars and the occasional guy from outside of the city. I plan to get thru the holidays by traveling as much as possible, because staying local doesn’t seem productive. Just on the day of the holiday, plan on staying with a friend or relative.

I came across an escort who sounds like that in Kansas City. But I wasn’t convinced that he was offering payment. It was more like, come and fuck him raw... with no real purpose. Then he was like extra bossy with it at that. Ushering me to come at his command. I finally told him, dude go ? yourself I had to tell one of my little bottom fuck buddys today: I’m not the one to be bossed around. Better fix that quick, because that’s the quickest way to turn me off ???

...but of course one need not wait that long to get some decent spunk ? In other news: I recently “hired” another “provider” for a 3 way session with a client/friend of mine. However, this was done differently: we had met 1 on 1 previously without payment exchange (and it was ? lol. But we had suggested to one another the possibility of doing a 4 hands massage if a client was interested. I didn’t actually pay him, but my date was open to the idea. So I was more of the “realtor” in the situation. Even though the whole thing was my idea from the start lol. I had just suggested to my friend that we add in someone else to spice up our regular encounters, which I admitted...were becoming boring. Not because the sex was boring, or that routine sex is boring...but the “freak” factor just wasn’t there. It turned out to be a hot scene and we all got along, and I think the guy might of even found himself a new “massage“ client...but I’m not intimidated because our connection has been solid enough, but for me...it seems the 1 on 1 encounters with my regular have run their course, for now at least. So I’m willing to be a team player. That’s why I was telling @keroscenefire, other escorts shouldn’t shy away from being proactive when it comes down to sharing or doing gigs with other providers/clients. If we all just worked together, it could help open doors in other ways. Of course, that’s fantasy but if 2 guys can click, and a client is open to experience both, why not.

Some of my clients who have college aged kids come to mind...One just dropped $20 Gs on rides for both. Even $500 for half an hour with a provider, is cheap in comparison lol. That's why I'm just like...ain't no time to be selling myself short. Some of these guys are making enough to raise 2 kids on their own, and they're single. I'm not charging nothing less than what I need to cover my overheads and expenses for the week.

I still don't understand Instagram lol. I mean I'm on it and have followers on it, but it's so generic that I've found myself toying between entertaining friends, potential fuck buds, all while having a client here and there mentioning their existence on it. All the while, trying not to show any nudity lol. Twitter is more raw and uncut, and I seem to attract more hits from it than Instagram. I must add that in person advertising still goes a long way. I can't count how many guys (and women) chat me up in public as if they want something lol. I have sense to know not every interaction has a sexual connotation, but in a gay environment... I've more than once turned it into a client situation. But it's rare. Like once every 2 years. I also carry biz cards that are quite oblivious, in the event the internet comes crashing down on sex work (I trust Kamala, but I don't trust Kamala lol). There's also grindr and scruff sites, but with my lower level of tolerance for nonsense, I haven't posted on those in months. Then there's Adam 4 Adam, which I'm just barely hanging onto to that. At $30 it's the cheapest site in theory, but one has to have a good filter and high tolerance dealing on there.

that is true, but seems like majority of it comes from same day bookings. But like I say, I think I’ll keep same day bookings for now, but they’ll absolutely have to still pay a deposit. Even if they’re a mile away and I just happen to be available. Because even those ones have proven to be flakes. I hate to be cliche and bring Covid into the mix, because everyone wants to blame it on everything...but it’s seeming that it certainly is adding to the Flake factor, however that’s been the case ever since Craigslist and backpage shut down. The issue is 2-fold: Covid boredom and former Craigslist lurkers. Hence why every legit sex worker would be doing all of us a favor, to be charging deposits now. Because most of the serious guys seem to send it with no reluctance, whereas the bullshit mother fuckers seem to always have an excuse. Which I won’t be falling for again ✋?

Good word, and it’s exactly how I feel. Ditto with deposits, which I’ve been increasingly adamant about doing. I did take 2 same day appointments this week, but both had to send deposits to confirm. I try to do that mainly for hosting because people are more likely to no show, than to not be there when I show. But then today, someone didn’t want to pay a deposit claiming to have gotten “burned” a “few times before (in which I replied, I have a few times too) and this was for a same day appointment with him hosting. So, I was open to not do so. Sure enough, the person quasi-flakes. Then responds back over 4 hours later after I said I’ll consider the appointment for tonight confirmed without a deposit this time, with some lame excuse. And I had specifically asked the person a pertinent question about the scheduling, which he didn’t seem to have an issue. So based on what you said, I now feel even more pressed to operate “how I choose to”, and that’s going to be no more appointments without a deposit, regardless if they are hosting or not, same day or not. It’s the type of s**t that I don’t want to be bothered with ??‍♂️ Next time someone says they don’t want to do a deposit because they’ve been burned before, I’m just going to say, “Well I can’t schedule you”. Because they already come to the table on the defensive, and if they can’t trust me, why the F should I trust them ??‍♂️ The issue is, it’s going to be a little hard to fill that void of readily taking appointments on the spot. But with the way people are acting, just about every client who doesn’t send a deposit: ends up not showing up in some way or another. That’s just how it’s been lately.

And that's understandable. I've had many great connections come out of same day appointments. Some days I can accommodate them, but others I can't. But then I find it creates this pattern where once I take someone last minute on the day of, they come to expect that the next time, and the time after that. Then I start feeling like A. They don't consider I have a life and B. I have to always be available when they want it, versus when i can accommodate it. Which may only be 2 hours after they contact me, but then some will say, "oh that's going to be too late." I've already had to turn down 2 appointment requests over the weekend for same day. One was in a town I have just left the day prior, the other wanted to meet with like 40 minutes notice. The exception is: if we have met a couple times or so and built a rapport where we just know one another, then sure... hit me up if you happen in the neighborhood and feel the itch. But many times it's new clients who are wanting short notice, same day appointments...and then not following thru with it. And the funny thing is: those same people are never available on short notice themselves...but expect us to be. And I know because I've reached out to many a client to remind I'm in town or have availability. Very rarely are they in the position to meet when I need it lol. But like I say, I'll still take same day appointments when traveling...but when home likely not. I have to figure out a way to finesse it evenly.

True story: I had to retrieve a porn collection from someone who passed couple years ago. It took like 6 months to salvage it, but considering the content was a mix of gay and straight and mostly all interracial, I not only had to go thru the sister, but her husband...who was intent on trashing it all. When I received the collection, I felt terrible they had to look thru all of it to be honest. I've been a sex worker for years and it was a lot even for me. (Though I was more of kid in candy store overwhelmed and they were probably more of kid at the dentist overwhelmed) Some went back as far as 1996 and early 2000s, on DVD. But the bulk were during the mid 2000s. Never watched the VHS ones since i don't have one. I ended up holding onto them, and now they make fun backdrops during sessions. It's almost educational how much porn has evolved, but equally sad how bad some gay porns were. Straight porns tended to have much better plot and directory. Many gay "studio" porns would just flip right to the action with no storyline. Not sure if that's just preferred or by default. I applaud those who are taking steps to "protect others" so to speak. But I don't think it should be a fear of having a desire for erotic content. It's not illegal and we're adults, and assume the actors are too. If any of us were to die, I can guarantee you'd not care about who's looking at your porn collection ?

Thanks for the wisdom. However, I should clarify: it’s not that I feel I’m dwelling on the possibility (by his grace of course). But I’m just saying, people talk so much about, “what are you going to do 50 years from now, are you still going to be sex working?? But fact is, there’s no guarantee of 50 years from now for any individual person. I think people (maybe particularly affluent Americans) seem obsessed with “the future”. Who would have thought 20 years ago, that the whole world would come to wear masks, and businesses of all types would be forced to make concessions? Did every valet guy working at the Ritz consider his future? Did every gay bar bartender consider their future? Can’t always predict the future. Even if we take it less heavy, my question is always: who is going to do what they are doing now, 10-20-30 years from now? And...so what if they do. When the time comes, they can choose to continue or stop. I think it only adds to the ambivalence for me, when there’s this outside pressure to “do something else”, versus brainstorming on what ways to improve what I’m already doing. Since this thread, I’ve gone ahead and did a selfie photo shoot (many of the pro photographers are on limited schedules), did a new JFF video, and decided not to take anymore same day appointments. It has helped take the edge off. But the suggestions here have gotten my creative juices flowing, and refreshed on things I already knew...but haven’t been motivated to do (namely due to the things mentioned in the 1st post)

I ask because I’m considering this approach, but mainly for local visits. When out of town, it’s easier to take on the spot visits...since my circumstances at home make it to where I can’t always host or travel without atleast a couple hours notice. But it seems more often that 2 hours is too long for many, so I’ve decided the only way to go about is just temporarily stop offering same day appointments. I’m finding this fast food mentality is especially prevalent on RentMasseur, I’m even considering getting rid of that as well. However, I’m also finding the flake factor for same day appointments seems to be the highest. So now it may be a permanent thing, even when traveling to just not do same day appointments. I’m finding even those who paid deposits, are flaking on same day visits, but it’s not as common as the ones who go mute when asked to do so. I’m just looking back at my logs over the last couple weeks, I’ve not had anyone keep a same day appointment request, except 1. Every serious person has been willing to plan a day or so ahead. And that’s local and travel. I generally don’t mind leaving myself open either throughout the day or later in the day for appointments. But I’m also getting tired of feeling like I have to choose between finishing a project or gym, or whatever the case may be, to take an appointment. Only for them to say, “sorry my son, etc came home“ (heard this more than once) Or “I got called into work” nonsense. I feel if someone can’t make a conscious effort to coordinate a day that’s not “today”, what are we doing? I just can’t keep living for the hope of “available now” and then being let down. At the same time, I know day of meets make up a good amount for many. I want to make it where if someone sees my ad, it won’t be “I’ll text him tomorrow/whenever and see if he’s free”, but more of; “I see your ad today, when can I get on YOUR schedule”.

Sending you a ?....

Text him again. Sometimes I’ll get messages that don’t get replied for whatever reason. My phone plays my favorite song anytime I get a text, so I dont miss messages. But sometimes I still do because I may switch it on silent before going into an appointment, or if I’m doing something and it’s going off back to back, and forget. I always feel a message with a name, website seen on, host or travel, city you’re in and maybe a brief describe (age/top/bum) helps. I know that can be a lot for someone texting a number that could be the wrong number, so I always include: Hi, this is Jarrod, for your 1st contact can you start by introducing yourself... That way they know they got the right person. 100%. And I’ll add: atleast respond! It grates my last nerve when someone will ask about meeting TODAY, then not reply back to coordinate. Then hit me up a month or 2 later and ask the same question, as if I didn’t see their message from 2 months ago where they didn’t reply to my last message ??‍♂️ Had someone do that yesterday. I called him out and said, I told you LAST MONTH that I needed advance notice and deposit. He said never mind, sorry back in September (dismissive). Then hits me up asking if I’m available today like nothing ever happened ??‍♂️

I hear what you’re saying, but have you ever heard the phrase tomorrow isn’t promised? I’m not saying disregard your advice or not be prepared for the future...but how many people have we known, young people...get all the career ducks in a row, and suddenly, tragically pass away? You’re talking about senior years...what’s the ratio of gay men who ACTUALLY make it to senior years? I mean, let’s just be real. I can tell you the truth: I’ve lost about 2 or 3 over the years. 2 of my closest best friends: GONE. Dead. Lives on the right track. 1 just became a flight attendant. Never even got to say goodbye. So I’m living for today, When it’s time it’s time, but by his grace I’m thankful for the time being. But since you’re concerned, I do have an exit strategy that I can go into if and when it’s time to make an exit. However, for right now this is what I’m doing. I get tired of people acting like escorting is the only type of business where someone can be “stuck”, but yet we’re supposed to just be able to stop, drop and roll anytime we have an issue or expect better from people. How many people do you know who are business owners, stuck in the business (and yes, maybe they’re successful financially) but struggling health wise because they’re so overwhelmed and stressed? But they can’t leave the business because their stake is in it, and it’s all they can do to support themselves? They can’t just stop, pack up, and “get a job”. I met a client couple months ago who owned a successful restaurant. Beautiful home, beautiful sports car...but he was so overweight that his tummy engulfed the steering wheel. He was admittedly conscious and proactive about his weight loss, but he said eating was his only way to de-stress over the years. He showed me an older picture, he was once a fitness model.