TallMuscl37

I’m so over talks about how “strong” The economy is. Yeah people are spending again after Covid, but it’s all on themselves and small ticket items. The stuff on the news and the bubbly stuff about local restaurants booming is all smoke and mirrors. For example, there was an article about how one of the coffee shops and some other foodie businesses were doing so great here during Taylor Swift and NFL draft. Why wouldn’t they be? Everybody loves food and coffee. I didn’t make shit either of those weekends, just had 2 clients flake out. But I had a group of friends come to town for a couple days: and it was like 4 guys to a room, 2 to a bed. Why are the rates of hotels in some cities on a weekend, not affordable enough for 2 guys to share a room or have their own? They can talk about the economy all day long: But I’ve already seen a lot of specialty shops go out of business. They can interview me, and I’ll tell them the REAL truth lol.

Is he Black, White or Latino? Because before I even lived in KC, I used to rarely get any serious bookings then. There was a brief time initially in the 2010-2012 era that I was was busy to my liking here, but after that I usually found myself just getting a hotel for the night, and keeping it moving to my next destination (usually DC or someplace or the east coast). But otherwise, that would sound about right. I’m down to 1 regular in the area at the moment. But our last session got cancelled. I’m surprised he has any regulars at all. Maybe if a person is okay to host at the last minute, drop of a dime with no deposit like is common here, perhaps. But I was discussing on another forum: I tried working like that here, and it was chaos. Can’t plan anything, never know if it’s okay to start a project or accept plans, for fear you have to abandon it or turn down an appointment. Even the hookup apps work the same way: one guy was trying to come over to me ASAP. Then he said he had to cancel, but then he was on his way again. I was playing games with him the whole time too, and was like: darn I left my wallet at home: can you get the hotel instead (I was about 30 miles from home). Of course not. That’s how 99% these KC guys are. They want you to host asap, and then they flake. 🤦🏾‍♂️ The thing is: we can deserve better if we ask for better. I don’t even like to take stuff on “now” notice even if I need to because: it lets guys know it’s okay to do so again the next time around. Then they get an attitude when you can’t. And if another escort flaked on said client: I can’t see the satisfaction of not being someone’s first choice. Only time I can see it being “okay” to do stuff short notice, is if you see the escort and meet around the same time on a regular basis. Lot of the Kansas City guys would call out the blue, wanting now: but never available when I said: “I’m hosting NOW/TODAY, can you make it?” So yeah, I am just trying to make an exit unless on the off chance I get an alternative solution. On top of that, some of the escorts here are scamming just as much as the bad clients are. It’s sad. Tragic. I can’t think of a market I’ve had to endure more financial stress except perhaps Nashville, Tampa and Orlando.

Ha. And I’m also wondering why there’s so many ads in my area. There’s nothing going on here. Idk if the number of “available now” ads matters too. Fridays used to always be guaranteed bookings. Not so much around here. Then one of my supposed to be a regular got the other day 🤦🏾‍♂️ And I wasn’t gaslighting myself when I said what I said what I said in a couple other another threads. These guys can be ruthless. Am I an escort or MMF fighter? Nobody should be being mean or disrespectful on the phone. And after that: I decided to just go ahead and put my top shelf price back up to $300. Because it’s like, $25-50 difference is what? In the long run, that’s just going to get me $25-50 less than what I need.

Yeah, A4A…I just don’t know. I’m trying to hang onto it, but it doesn’t work everywhere. I think I managed to earn 2-3 clients from it when I was in Seattle last year…It still has its place. But also A4A used to be $10 a month, versus $30.

Right, talking about paying to park: those fucking bastards in ATL are ruthless. I have driven and parked in most every big city in the country, including Chicago, SF and DC, all notoriously limited places to park: I have never walked out to find my car booted on a Saturday night while parked on a city street, except in Atlanta 😆 That said, nowadays I’m the one reading the WHOLE parking sign..making sure I get it just right. Denver is also another one, might as well take a picture and pack a lunch to figure out their parking restrictions lol. DC can be a hard city to navigate though. However it always makes sense to get exact addresses. There should be no reason someone is getting hotels mixed up. I like to make sure I get the exact name, and address of the hotel. I’m not about to go dashing out, just because someone says “I’m at the Marriott airport, U avail?” Even in Kansas City, there’s 2 embassy suites off 435. But they are both in different towns. I have to get the exact address (which is often in plain view on the hotel telephone). However, some residences can be difficult to find…especially the basement type units common in DC. And then the parking can often take you way away from where you need to be. I remember earlier this year, I had a client contact me in San Diego for a 4som. It was kinda last minute, and even though I arrived in like 30 minutes, I spent 10 minutes circling trying to figure where to park. There was nowhere to. That wasn’t included with the address. Finally did find something…which took an additional 5 minutes to walk from. For me, I still use 2 GPS sometimes. The car gps is so I’m not reliant on looking at my phone, but I still use Google maps on my phone to glance at once I get closer, and to also detect any traffic backups that might be happening before I set off. The phone is also better at picking at exact addresses. Big GPS systems often only get you nearby, I find the phone to be a bit more accurate. Some client’s places don’t even show up properly on gps at all. I’ve had many times where I’ve been sent to what I thought was the address, but it was over shot by a couple blocks. that’s why many gps systems “aren’t liable” for you driving into the lake.. even though it told you to 😆 hell I’ve had twice where my gps took me thru unpaved roads, even getting stuck once because it was like sand. Most recently, I was in Louisiana and tried to take a short cut: guy jumps in front of me all aggressive, saying the street is a designated landing 🛬 strip 😯 I’m like dude, my gps said I could short cut here…but he wasn’t hearing it lol. Thought I was about to get rounded up and sent to slavery the way he came at me 😂

I feel that about Mintboys…I’m on it but, the traffic just not happening. Lots of older ads. Last I had a client there was a pretty decent one though.

Oh yeah, I am working on lining up an exodus asap. I cannot continue working the Kansas City/St. Louis/Missouri market in general, I feel like I’m having recurring mini panic attacks throughout the week….In the meantime just trying to eat and hydrate, exercise and keep myself looking and feeling healthy so it doesn’t show on the outside. I know I have to be ready for when a client does reach out. I have things to fill my time with, but going days/all day without any bookings is disappointing. July was a bit of a damper because I had like 3 different big expenses going all at once and couldn’t do anything out of town. All I could do was go hard (no pun intended) and try to work with the base I’m in: But I just feel it, it’s not where it needs to be. No matter how much I put available now, or market: I just can’t get enough out here. Then I paid for my RentMen ad Sunday and so far, only 1 new client and 1 regular this week. There are some fun clients in the area, but some are just downright vile and toxic. I’ve had at least 2-3 highly emotionally abusive regulars: they come on strong and sex was always great, but they would regularly start arguments with me in between bookings, or play mind games. Eventually I’d have to burn their bridge. Other escorts would have took them for their money and cut them way sooner. Then most all the new inquiries here are always last minute short notice, clear across town. Idk why people can’t just be like: Hey I’m going to be available xxx day, and would like to meet at xxx time. That’s part of why I can’t drop my deposit policy because, I have to do a lot of last minute running around out here. Running around costs money upfront… Just the other day, had someone contact me to come to Kansas City airport. That’s almost like DFW airport. Depending where in town, that can be an hour away. Most times when I go there, I’m planning to set aside minimum 4 hours of my day. 1 hour to get ready, 1 hour drive, 1 hour (usually longer) with client and another hour to drive back. And I’m supposed to be ready to do that on 10 minutes notice? At least call me in the morning or early afternoon, and plan it at night 🤦🏾‍♂️ When I tell him what time I could arrive: no response until the next morning, saying he fell asleep but will look me up next time. That’s why some days I feel a certain way because, I spent funds on the ad: but didn’t earn back and it’s been almost a week. But I also realize the exposure is for the future, and takes time for it to work. And as mentioned: They can’t always mitigate how a market works or the level of difficulty it is to make it work.

Hmm…not always though. I’ve said it before but, RentMen simply isn’t the King that it seems. There are some cities where I don’t get any biz from RM. Sites like A4A, here, and even RentMasseur have often times done better for me. And in small towns, forget it. Might as well get on Grindr and sell backstage, versus trying to find anything on RM. The odds are just that low. I feel any place that gets potentials and providers in a space that they can mingle, is worth using to an extent. In reality, I think Instagram is the true king…but it’s a lot going on. There’s clients who I follow and they follow me. But it’s not catered to any one subculture. Then Twitter is global and a porn pit stop. At the end of the day, seems it’s best to use as many of the platforms that’s available, to maximize connections.

Exactly, but at the end of the day: Well, not that I don’t care but…it’s a discussion forum. The advertising and sweet talk is plenty in the ads. And in person. I’ve gotten over the whole “be sweet and kind when you post here, or you’re going to ruin your business”. Well by all means, don’t bring up anything, and just let everybody make the same mistakes and not learn any input from the other side. Great. That’s not realistic.

Of course non p4p guys who are hooking up with you are putting in more effort than the guys who are paying you. Ah, no. Trust me on that. Most non paying guys out here, are putting minimum effort. It’s actually the clients who seem to be showing more effort. Part of why I’ve cut back on dating and hookup apps, is because I got tired of the low effort mentality most of those guys come to the table with. I rather meet someone at a nightclub or thru friends… You're the one trying to convince someone else to give you money. You should expect to do more of the work to make it happen because that is kind of what you are getting paid to do. Convince someone? You know how this works right? I’m not trying convince anyone, they are actively seeking and I just so happen to be offering. It’s not that kind of sales business. There’s already a need to be fulfilled. You're competing with Grindr and Sniffies. A lot of the things you want from your clients are things they are paying to avoid. If I have to deal with all the same crap I normally deal with on Sniffies and Grindr, get my own hotel room and pay some money on top of that, I'm just going to keep the money in my pocket and go back to Grindr and Sniffies. Well, maybe that’s what you need to do then 🤷🏾‍♂️ I mean…at the end of the day, hiring an escort isn’t promised to be the exact accommodations you want. We’re not Hotels.com that you can just call up on a moment’s notice and get a room. Granted: some days I can accommodate like that, but most times…I don’t get people to show up when I am. I started during a time where one could do well just doing outcalls. I did that in one city for like 2 years. I rarely ever hosted, but I was always getting calls to the best hotels, condos, and homes. Every once in awhile I would host, but it was when I wanted to stay in the city for the night. That said, the idea that we’re competing with guys from apps: It’s not as it seems. If a person wants to browse and hookup for free, they’re going to do that. If they want to find someone to pay, they’ll do that too. When I look at my clients, and then look at guys on apps (even though I’m aware some clients also use apps), there is no competition. Partly because the concept is different. Even in small towns where there’s low/no competition on apps or RM: it’s still not any easier. Either they aren’t gay, or the ones that are, generallyy don’t want to pay.

claiming they can host then demanding a hotel fee right before the apt (in one case the provider met me in the lobby of a hotel which I assumed was for his comfort Well I already addressed the above, in another thread. I do think providers should be upfront about their situation with hosting if it’s not necessarily readily available. In that case, a deposit to cover at least a portion of the room, would be better than just having the client show up and not be checked in. That’s why I do it…And I think it’s a low drama way of doing biz. Client sends deposit, I can book the room, and all is well. Versus the drama of: A) booking room before I substantiate the client is serious about an appointment, only to be told “I didn’t book an appointment”. Or B) waiting for client to show up and then meeting outside for hotel and collecting payment (which is tacky and doesn’t give me time to get my ambience situated). Everything else you mentioned, it does sound ratchet. But again, you might be picking the wrong guys or tighten up your filters. Especially when you say you “left your wallet” in someone’s hotel room. And again you say you walked out of another hotel room. And then a 3rd time you mentioned going to someone’s studio apartment. I think I know what the issue is: Maybe you need to stop going to guy’s place, and just host yourself? You wanna know something: in my personal hookup life, I learned to stop going to guy’s places for first meetups. I kept having shitty experiences too. Now, when I’m on the road or have my privacy at a hotel…I either make guys come to me, or I bring them back to my hotel. I only “travel out” for paid clients. Every once in awhile, I’ll have a couple guys that I go to their place who I can trust. But even then, there’s been guys I went to, and had to stop going because they turned disrespectful. Why am I going to waste my gas and energy visiting someone like that? I almost feel some people get off on being a dick and having guys come and go, back to back. I don’t do that shit anymore This is why I encourage clients to not RELY on the escort to host. We’re both adults. You can be ready to host just as much as I need to be expected to host. Even if you’re married. There’s hotels. Some accept cash, most will accept a re-loadable type of card. Call ahead. Perhaps wait until the escort arrives, before booking the room. If he doesn’t, you’re not at a loss. Now there’s even dayuse if you can’t stay the night. If I have to host and I’m not doing it from a place I already live in, there’s going to be a deposit.

It’s not that I don’t understand. It’s just: Jokes aside, I always say: I can’t speak on what another escort did or didn’t do. That’s not to dilute your experience by any means but, everyone has a way of doing things that suits their needs. I know I don’t disappear or change my terms. That can happen whether there’s a deposit or not.

Not necessarily. Why do you think: RentMen offers advertisers the option for verified photos? Why do you think we can’t place our numbers in our ad (search bots). Why do you think we have reviews? Why do you think we have a block function on RM messenger? Why do you think RM has no need to filter anything? I’m not saying they’re not responsible for anything. Things are a long way from newspaper and “HotSpots” magazines (which I don’t personally have experience in but: I could imagine the lack of screening and just having nothing but a phone number had to be a different experience). They have recognized that they have some power over the screening methods. Which is great, but we need more. Ha. I woulda never thought YOU, woulda never thought. Sex workers have been lobbying for the cause for years, where have you been?

I just wrapped up my 1 week “hiatus” from RMen. But since then I earned a client from RMass the other day. Fortunately/Unfortunately, I had to go back to work. But, I paid for it with borrowed money 💳 : The one client I had all week wasn’t enough to cover my personal expenses AND a Gold RM ad. I understand RM is basically an advertising platform. I know they don’t make or break or steer the industry. They also can’t help some “potential” clients are full of shit and play games. Especially in areas where the men are already cheap and stingy with their money and always looking for free dick and ass. RentMen can’t change that mentality. That’s why I had to come up with my own set of standards and website for dealing with people.

Great coverage. I’ll be reaching out privately. Everything said hits the topic. That’s why I’m glad I found Reddit sex work community, they are so much more real about things. It’s just with it predominantly women, it’s not always the same level. For example, it’s more common to do quick visits and also charge $500-$600 an hour. However, what ways do you refer to specifically scarcity mentality among M4M providers? Well I think it bears mentioning: I can’t speak on RB but the whole thing with backpage was bigger than just sex work. Agendas, trafficking, different kinds of seedy activities. That’s why I was not condoning one poster in another thread not to “go to the police” being harassed over phone by a provider. First thing the police going to do is ask a million questions, and then bringing RentMen up just further scrutinizes the site and industry. Not that the behavior is justified at all but, it’s just the reality of it.

I am aiming to do that, however it’s not as easy as just dropping everything and going. I used to be able to do that more readily in my 20s, but now I realize doing that means making concessions for change of license, health insurance, car insurance. Example: I always had the desire to move to Arizona, but when I brought a used car there one year: I didn’t realize how hectic it is to get a tag. Such as: won’t pass emissions if your check engine light is on. Then that’s a rabbit hole of additional expenses to pay. Then when I took the car to Florida, I was hit with another surprise in change of insurance rate and “one time new resident” fee. Which fortunately I was able to bypass, considering I had a license plate from there previously. But it took multiple trips to the DMW to figure that out. Of course non of that is unattainable, however: that makes it take more time. In the meantime however, I travel my ass (and other parts) as much as I can. But, I’m not able to consistently stay on the road long enough, to always be the new guy in town. Especially in the summer, I have a tropical garden that I can’t always rely on it to get rain, and it’s been close to 100 degrees everyday. So I usually have to come back and regroup in between trips, but that often means not being in a position to immediately travel again. And this month, has been exactly that. After sashaying in a few cities during May, June and early part of July: I’m beat from the heat and expensive hotel rooms. Not to mention, lot of areas this summer can be slow anyway due to vacations, kids out etc. Gurl, have a seat 🪑 I have moved to different markets HOWEVER: I have also seen markets CHANGE. For example, Nashville was once a somewhat lucrative market for me. Wasn’t always the best. But it was better than what it is now. The amount of ads have tripled, and the prices of living have skyrocketed. My last trip there last month, I stayed for a week and earned less than $300. Minus the amount I spent on the hotel…It was horrible. But not surprising. It’s too saturated. Just because I’ve switched markets doesn’t necessarily mean it was the market I chose. Most times I’ve moved, it’s been due to a reason not related to the business, or to be closer to relatives. Exceptions were Denver, which I first moved back in 2011. It used to be a gold mine, but similar to nashville: it became overpriced, overnight; and saturated with sex workers: When I moved there, it was only like 5-10 of us. Cities change all the time. What was hot in 2016 might not be popping in 2023. Making mocking statements isn’t necessary. It takes a bit more understanding of these things. Exactly! And even high expenses doesn’t guarantee more opportunities in the industry either. So many guys getting into it, it’s not the same it seems. The good news is, there’s opportunities still in crowded cities. Sometimes it just depends on where one’s look will sell the best. Even though I complained a little bit about San Diego earlier this year, overall I did GREAT because all my visit were $250+, sent deposits without fuss, and were fun during the session. But I only met 4 during my 2-3 weeks there. I had wanted like 2-3 during the week, and 1-2 on the weekend. It just wasn’t as busy as I wanted it to be, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have a good time. And the nightlife…was giving everything lol. Not to mention the beach: I’d move to San Diego if I had the means to do so. However I can’t just up and go without a couple thousands to drop on a place or a roommate who already has a place. It’s just not a joke to move there on a limited budget. I need $5,000. How much income is required to afford rent in San Diego? FOX5SANDIEGO.COM As rent prices continue to climb across the country, San Diego appears to be no exception.

I think too that’s the main hurdle with same day bookings…it’s too hurried and rushed to be able to plan anything. However I like to secure it with a deposit to be sure. And that’s exactly why I do it, so yeah: that’s the only way to game the system. It’s the incentive and screening, and weeding out the curious from the serious. It’s also easier for clients to no show incalls versus outcalls. Even though getting stood up for outcalls is much more inconvenient, I still ask deposit for both. I think the key is, to not be afraid or intimidated or even persuaded to feel you will lose/not get business if you ask a deposit. Even if clients talk about being ripped off before. That’s unfortunate but, clearly this client was “ripped off” and didn’t even send a deposit. So it’s not the deposit that’s the scam, it’s the provider who’s the scam.

I’ve never had to do anything like that before. Especially for an hour visit, assuming it doesn’t involve “multiple loads” (which is usually never). I’ve done overnights and accommodated clients the next day or beforehand. Not something I’d normally do, but…I know the inconvenience of being cancelled/stood up on, so wouldn’t want to do the same. But anyone who does, they can consider themselves “privileged” for being able to drop one client for another. I never find that to be good “dick energy”. There’s ways to value and include bookings without leaving anyone hanging

I’ve been hearing about tryst from the other side of the pond (and not talking about England). However I wasn’t aware one could post for mSm type of sessions. I’ve signed up but, I read it can take awhile to be approved. Like, months. But could be some way to expedite… Sometimes though, sites that blend with straight providers, can bring an extra challenge of iffy responses. Similar to Craigslist and BP. But might be doable in the right areas

Especially if you’re driving even moreso lol…the flexibility is great, but sometimes it may 🤔 some clients. I may decide to stay in a city longer or shorter than posted. That’s why lately, I’ve kinda stopped planning trips so far out anymore. Only if I’m planning to be heading there that week. But right now I’m eyeing some destinations to travel in August, and haven’t posted anything except my local area. It helps to get some visibility ahead of time, but most of the inquires are going to think you’re there. Or they won’t be when I get there. And nothing pains more when the area you’re in is dead, but the area you’re traveling to next month is all your inquiries for the week 🤦🏾‍♂️

I think some people expect to be one step ahead of the game, if they skip over an escort’s ad writing, and just contact outright. It must be a belief that’ll get what they want faster than just taking 1 to 2 minutes to scroll thru and read the ad… But it’s not ideal if they have to ask right from the bat if they’re in town, or can they meet today despite it showing dates.

I feel I’m spending the equivalent of $5 of gallon living in the area I’m in. I’ve gone to Seattle, San Francisco and San Diego where that’s common…but once I arrive to my destination, I don’t have to drive much more than a couple miles to where I need to be. Especially in San Diego earlier this year. The beach was walking distance, and tons of stores within 1/2 gallon of gas away. The only time I had to commute, was for my specific gym, to see a client or go to Hillcrest. Meanwhile, I’m commuting an hour or more living in thee Midwest, to visit fwbs and clients. Some of these fwbs know that I have to drive far to see them, yet they turn their nose up or don’t even offer to cover what I spend on the ride there or back. That’s why I’m just going to focus on clients until I relocate, and leave all the frugal fuck boys in the dust. They don’t value my time or energy, and it’s all about their pleasure and convenience…at my expense. Most won’t even travel too far outside of their neighborhood/town for sex anyway, so why should I bother going out of my way if they aren’t paying…

I wasn’t intending to imply I had a bad day. In fact yesterday I had a great day. Had a new outcall appointment that went well, and later won something in a game. It’s not about good day/bad day. It’s just bringing light to the fact it’s some shiesty people out there. Specifically, sheisty guys who are always out looking for MSM sex. They put on a facade, showering with compliments and talking how horny they are and how they want multiple loads. But it all changes when there’s a request for some payment or reimbursement. If I don’t get a no-response, I’ll get an insult, or be compared to some dick they can get for free. But wait, just a few minutes ago he made it seem like I was exactly what he wanted 🤔

I suppose, that would be the easy, low effort way to handle it. But I’m believer in, if someone wants to make it happen, they’ll put the effort. I know because, I’ve met guys (mostly non-clients) who couldn’t host. And guess what I did? I picked them up, like a gentleman and brought them back to my place or hotel. And took them back. And the sex…out of this 🌎 . I’m not looking for easy and convenient, I’m looking for those who seem attentive and have the look I want.

that’s a good analysis, however I just want to clarify I’m not really interested in running a new escort site. I have my private site that I’m running, and it’s the furthest I want to take it for the time being. However I feel, since I’ve been with RentM since they started in 2009ish, I do hold some level of loyalty with them. I understand some of my suggestions might not be possible (I discussed the paying for content thing before, and there was an explanation for that. And rates obviously, that’s something that would need to be carefully implemented as well). I just want a few simple changes, that can make a big difference. Having a site myself, I know how easy…yet tedious it can be to make basic changes.