TallMuscl37

I agree 100%. However, when it comes down to it: when someone says something about another, they need to be prepared to be corrected if it’s not an actual reflection. They can feel how they choose, but don’t come personal and talking smack because last thing I need: is someone misinformed with no hands in the business, to tell me in front of hundreds of viewers, that my business model is causing me to not have many bookings. And then doesn’t even say what portion of the business model it is, into this thread where it wasn’t even relevant to begin with. The answer is pretty much the same: lot of these non-clients men out here have become cheap and frugal. And the amount of professional and non professional guys seem present in every town. There seems to be an increase in freebie hunters. And freebies is the topic of this thread, so it’s not too off topic. Anyone don’t believe me, this is what I see in almost every other profile when someone hits me up on the “Goodwill” app. If I feel like it, I’ll write back: your profile is offensive, I’m not interested… In fact, I am moving towards deleting it just for the mere fact that I don’t even like seeing people with stuff like that in their profile. If someone has to actively hate on sex workers in their profile, that’s just off-putting

I do…in the nude photo industry it’s called fluffing. A bit of touching to help rise to the occasion

And that’s your prerogative if you chose not to. I’ve had several clients still see me off here. What is you and @pubic_assistance solution? If all you can do is disagree with my posts, and call my discussions complaints, then you’re not interested in making a difference. You simply don’t want to hear about improving hiring for others. Just say that. If you don’t like it, go somewhere else. There’s hundreds of threads here on the forum. You don’t have to come here and be condescending, and tell me something without any solution backing it. If you and @pubic_assistance think you’re the experts and can do it better, by all means go place a RentMen or similar Ad up and see if you can. Or at the very least, offer something more constructive to say and stay in your lane as a person hiring.

And I email companies a lot too…usually I get a couple replies in a day, if that. The difference is: I’m asking questions about a product or payment online. That’s NOT trying to arrange an in-person appointment. I don’t know of any business where you email the company, asking “Hey are you available today, staying at the Sheraton”. Or “U free today around 2 p.m. ?“ Like no. No. just…no. Email is not online ordering, it’s not quite set up that way on the RentMen sites. If it was, maybe then you’d have a point. No, escorts are running a CLIENT service. I am not a call center with 200 employees. There’s a reason why I left that industry… Don’t get me started on deposits. I already discussed that on another thread, but I’ll post an example again from other providers (Granted women, but men need to get on the ball with deposits as well…It’s 2023, not 2003 when online escorting was a new thing and people could be more reliable) And even my own example of a client who sent me a deposit and had a great time, but got ripped off by another guy who DIDN’T charge deposit (and I know the guy who he’s referring to: I worked with him one time, and he scammed another client, we could have been shot or thrown out the hotel, because he lied to the client and he stormed out the room) later… then after… Sorry that’s the case. Whoever cancels a Saturday evening plans with you…Would be one man’s loss and another’s gain 😜 I understand that could be a way to lessen the chances of plans falling thru, but ultimately it would depend on the provider. If they okay with last minute great, but those who need notice should be given that rightfully. There’s no harm in booking a last minute booking. I used to do them all the time and still can be open to from time to time. The issue is generally: if someone wants to make something happen, with another’s body in a sexual situation: they have to be willing to have the common sense necessary to understand: that person MIGHT not be expecting me, and things MIGHT be better if I try to get when they can be available, not solely when I’m horny. In one of those exchanges I posted, it didn’t even sound like the person wanted the booking in the first place: which I understand what @Simon Suraci and @Rudynate are saying: low probability people are hard to convince BUT: I’m still going to let them know regardless. I don’t think I should be labeled as trying to change someone based on that. I’m not trying to change anyone, I’m just communicating my desires. Period. I recall earlier this year, one guy kept texting me last minute, at night: I told him twice, darn I just closed taking appointments for the night. The 3rd time he got it right and it was a great time. Maybe I should continue playing that game for now on. I’ll always be booked, and booked, and booked again, whenever someone tries to meet on short notice. Then maybe they’ll say, “let me try to book ahead next time” I agree 100%, but again: it’s just me communicating to them what I require. They shouldn’t get offended. Most times, when I look for a guy to be intimate…who hasn’t hit me up first initiating it: They aren’t available. Clients, fuck buddies, etc. The main times I can find someone available “now” in regular situations: are the substance user types. Or occasionally the small town guy who doesn’t have lots of prospects to work with. So I know people know better. And I guarantee, I guaran-fucking-tee…The ones who do that ALWAYS…NEVER show up. They get called into work within 20 minutes of messaging me. It never fails. That’s why I stopped working that way.

That’s all true. That’s why I was saying in another thread, I would be less offended if a regular/repeat client asked for a discount and stated why (long as it’s not something like, my other guy only charges XXX or “this is tiny town, they don’t charge that much here”). Versus just flat out implying I’m too much. I occasionally ask my barber for his previous price, partly because the shop’s rate went up twice and it takes me an hour to get there. But if I need a haircut before my next appointment, he’s always open to, and I just pay it back in a tip on the next round. And you incessantly keep talking about the same shit that I’ve already corrected you on previously. Stop repeating the same misinterpretations you have, and maybe you can consider that it’s nothing to do with a business model. I never said anything about not getting enough clients or complaining about the ones I get. The ones I DO mention, aren’t even clients because they haven’t paid anything to be one, first of all. And not getting enough clients, I’ve already posted and shown messages about certain people’s mentality in certain areas. However, I wasn’t referring to the $700+fine dining client who seen me couple weeks ago, or the 4 clients I had before that, just in a couple days, one of who actually is an exec at a production company. So explain to me: how is that a bad business model, educate me? Better yet: educate yourself… I just showed you someone who went from saying he could be open to paying me for a massage, to now saying he doesn’t want to give me any money. It has nothing to do with a business model, it has more to do with increased frugality, guys wanting it for free, not “wanting to pay for sex”, etc. And it’s not an issue that’s unique to me. I’m on a different sex work forum where the providers are much more open and honest with others than around here. They have the same discussions… And then, the deposit discussion (if that’s the business model you’re criticizing me on). Again, these are other people saying this, not me… There you go. I’m done discussing, you just want to suck me…. ….into an argument and I’m not about to go that route with you 😝

At this point, considering what’s going on with the former “guy who has resorts in different cities”, I think there needs to be some sort of urgent revision to the whole Sesta Fosta thing. Like it should be announced: Even though, I did happen to drive by the ones near Miami Beach one year. Definitely stunning: Matter of fact, since this whole thing: I went ahead and just put my donations up to where I feel it needs to be. I feel some people expect me to do the same I was in 2010. When there was more clients and I could get away with lower prices. Now due to fewer websites, more guys popping up, and hookup apps: A lower rate may sound good to many, but unless I’m getting 1-3 LOCAL clients daily who are actually SERIOUS, Then maybe I could. Now If I was living there, maybe then someone could call me expensive. But I’m not there yet so, it makes no sense.

I get what you’re saying but, that’s not how I implied it. When I made the statement, I made sure to include that I did enjoy our company, but moreso the distance to meet would play a factor in meeting again. Granted: I have heard of people having boyfriends as far as South America or overseas. I know someone is probably spending $3,000 each time to see the other, which is fine if the person has the means and there’s something built up. I honestly don’t even know why I’m discussing this. I guess the topic about escorts doing freebies can cover a wide array of situations. I even feel cheap and petty talking about this, yuck lol. Why am I making a big deal out of gas money lol. But I know it’s not that. It’s not about the money, it’s not about the gas. It’s moreso I feel I reached the point that: How can so many wonderful clients out there be so generous towards us, yet these other guys get offended when bringing up something like gas money? In addition: somebody said something about dating/relationship…half these guys don’t even be close to that in mind. Lot of guys on these apps aren’t (especially when…RACE ALERT: it comes to guys who are into Black/ethnic men.) I’ve been down that road a MILLION times. They’ll play like my most erotic, attentive boyfriend for a day or 2: and then pull the “I’m not looking for a relationship” card. Meanwhile, I could have lost $1,000 thinking this guy was serious about me (true story, a client was going to hire me for a second night, but I left to go home to my “boyfriend” who eventually ended up telling me he just wants to be friends, shame) That’s why I feel lot of these app guys should be paying for sex, even if they say they don’t. If it was as legal as an Uber, I can imagine most would because, many aren’t looking for dating or friends. They just want a fuck toy. And being a fuck toy is okay, but similar to how they don’t like guys who drop the escort bomb, many of them don’t reveal they not looking for a relationship either until after they get what they want. And if there’s no opportunity for a relationship to happen, then I’m just doing to them, what I do to clients…but for nothing. Or at my expense, if I’m driving across town/multiple jurisdictions to reach them.

Okay: you can agree or disagree but don’t resort to using your judgmental opinions as a personal attack. We’ve been down that route before, don’t go there with me. My “dwindling business model” is actually working well for me, so not sure what you’re talking about there. I just had a client yesterday who got my full service treatment, thanked me for the session and even commented on how I was much better than the last guy (who didn’t ask for a deposit) scammed him out of $250 with a 15 minute massage. So what dwindling business model are you talking about again? In my case it’s moreso just an issue with my general area versus a business model. The message I posted re: the A4A guy was NOT the same guy I mentioned about the gas money, just to be clear. Those are 2 separate conversations… It’s not even about my financial situation. Like I said: I drove there and drove back on my own dime without me even asking for anything. THE POINT I’m making is not about money, it’s not about gas or time spent. It’s multiple points I’m making. Put your thinking cap on, because it’s going to take more than listening to @pubic_assistance ASSwipe comments: I understand most guys who aren’t clients, aren’t going to offer monetary anything if I don’t ask. That’s just how it is, especially on hookup apps. They don’t concern how far I have to drive, or how much the hotel is. And generally consensus is: nobody owes anyone anything. Like that one post I did a few months ago, where the guy who was pretending he wanted an appointment, had in his A4A ad: “don’t ask for gas money, get a job if you need gas money”. And I’m supposed to want to meet someone like that? So, in my case: I did feel a need to bring it up. I didn’t bring it up prior to meeting because: I know most guys are going to feel that’s “tacky” or they’re going to assume I’m like all the other scammer app guys who ask for money and simply block me before we ever meet. The way I said it was very matter of factly: I said “I understand we can’t help being the distance we are, but when I’m in THIS PARTICULAR area (he lives in a rural Army base town and I was also coming from a rural area): I don’t have the EXTRA resource (aka gas/cash/time) to drive that distance again (in the future) without a SOMETHING towards gas”. Something doesn’t have to be monetary, something can be: “if you drive us to the restaurant, I’ll put some gas in”. But again: I know most guys who aren’t clients aren’t going to offer that…even if I ask. Notice how, I didn’t say: “hey can you send me gas money?” Or “dude you should have gave me money for gas”. No. That’s not what I said. Because I was not OBLIGATING IT ON HIM because he didn’t expect it. I simply MADE A STATEMENT. That hey, “I did it this time…but next time or in the future you should know this is something that’s a factor for me.” It has nothing to do with me being so broke I can’t afford gas. Let’s ALL BE CLEAR on that. Because if that was the case, I wouldn’t have been able to drive to California and back from the Midwest…paying $3-$5 a gallon and filling up a 21 gallon tank each time. Do the math. Matter of fact: I was in Denver and a guy came up to me and asked for gas money, driving a better truck than I do…and I gave him some. Because I know how it is. Not to mention, I have on a couple occasions, picked guys up in cities I didn’t even live in, from their place which they couldn’t host, brought them back to my hotel…and drove them back. Not get them an Uber: PERSONALLY DROVE THEM BACK. And didn’t ask for gas. So I’m not here sounding like some cheap MoFo asking for gas money. Don’t ever ever ever think that not for one moment. Again: it’s the PRINCIPLE. Too many guys out here expect a lot for nothing. They don’t give a shit half the time, about the effort the other guy (or more specifically me) has to do to get to them. I remember I experienced this last year: I drove 30 miles at night to meet a guy who I previously met before. We hung out, spent the night. The next morning, he was hustling and bustling to get ready for work, and was rushing me out the door at 6:30 in the morning (3-4 hours before I normally wake up depending if I’m at home or hotel). Didn’t offer anything and seemed to really could care less that I came over to begin with. It’s not about gas money, it’s about: if I can put my time, put effort into driving, spend money on gas, change my schedule around, etc etc into meeting someone: They shouldn’t be OBLIVIOUS to the gesture of saying: “hey do you need XXX for gas, I know you have a long ride”. And I know it’s BS and some dudes looking for freebies are uptight because: when I was in San Diego last month, I was staying with someone at their home: and almost every other day I left to go to the store, I would hear: “I just need a couple things, here’s $20-$50”. And when I left, I heard: here’s $20…I know it’ll probably only get you 4 gallons but: that’s most I can do. See, it’s the little things that matter. It’s not about me wanting to turn the Encounter into escorting or not able to pay my way. Asking for gas money is escorting, since when? But I have a right to communicate my desires, and like @Jamie21 said, maybe it’s not a way to say it without offending someone. And if mentioning I can’t afford to go 1.5 hour out of my way on a repeat basis without chipping in for gas bothers someone…it would confirm they are simply interested in the convenience of my free visit, versus the effort made to ensure the visit.

See, that’s why I often say: dancers/gogo boys/strippers aren’t necessarily always “sex workers”. In my experience, if you’re attractive, they could be open to linking up. I’ve fucked a few myself…but I try to show support by tipping when I see them working. I think in most gay bars I consider them more closely in line to shirtless bartenders and drag queens, than escorts/sex workers. UNLESS it’s a porn star/escort dancing as well. I even was talking with a guy who I almost did a video with, he dances in clubs and earned some porn star recognition, and he was like: “can you teach me how to be an escort?” I’m like…I’m shocked, I don’t think there’s anything I can teach YOU at this point 😆 Exactly I could have said this precisely. Rather than make another topic, I can mention it here: I don’t know if I’m feeling hookups anymore. It sucks because the guys I really really find my type, I don’t usually have as clients. In the gay world, there’s a view to make like guys who ask for any kind of money are users, entitled, etc etc. Its annoying because it’s almost like these guys assume free access: Elsewhere, I met a guy the other night, who I was into. 28 year old, professional, middle eastern. But he lived 1 hour and 30 minutes away in a rural town. So I had to drive to him, and drive back AND use half my gas tank to get there and back. Granted: I was horny and bored, so 1.5 hour at night didn’t seem too bad until I did it 😆 He was nice and attractive, but I could tell that he was enjoying getting as much sexually energy from me as possible, and that was starting to become a bit draining. On our 2nd “romp” the next day: I ended up stopping before either of us got off. I didn’t want to cum again, and it seemed he was going to last awhile before he came again. Meanwhile the clock was just ticking by. I already spent the night, and it was approaching 5 p.m. I was like dude, I gotta go ✌ I texted him later thanking him for a good time, but also had to let him know: If I go that distance normally, it’s for a booking, and that if next time we meet at his: I need him to leave something for my commute. I tried not to make him feel like I was saying: “you shoulda gave me gas money”, but it was more like what @Keenan said: I really couldn’t “afford” a 3 hour round trip drive just to hangout in someone’s apartment (at least not this month) and mutually dick suck/ass lick, cuddle/kiss and watch TV 😆 Yes it was fun BUT: at the end of that, I still likely missed a potential client, used up gas that should go towards my next appointment, and have no guarantee the guy is going to become more than a 1 night stand in the process. He was understanding about it, but I couldn’t find the right way to convey it to him without coming off ungrateful or that I didn’t appreciate his company. But I don’t feel it’s fair to not contribute when I know he has the means and job security to do it, yet I’m in an area that I only get 1 or 2 bookings every couple weeks…. Don’t get me wrong: I’m all for romance and connections complete a desire that I can’t always get from clients: but clients and hookup guys seem to be from different planets. I am so appreciative that many clients will pay for a session AND include commute money. Whereas asking random hookup guys: they think someone is: an unidentified fucking object 🛸 👽

You’re right! It’s funny you say because, I had referred an article to a friend who was struggling with family matters. “You can’t control others, you can only control yourself” 😝 If I was “programmed” to know that 50% of inquiries would go nowhere…I’d probably be less bothered (in my case, more like 80% thanks for being in a country that most sites doesn’t list rates, and thinks firing news anchors, is more “proactive” than legalizing essential human choices…but that’s political so don’t respond to that lol). I get that it’s weird stuff, but people just need to not do it. And what makes it so bad; I WANTED to remove my number from my ads to cut down on the nonsense and dead end inquiries. And even put “registered members only” can contact me (yes clients, that is an option for us. So if you see a message “phone number not available” that may be why). But I find the problem with that is, then my phone doesn’t get enough messages for days. Many clients aren’t members of the site, or when they click on my website link, that pop up showing “PHISHING ALERT” shows up and probably scares them away. And if I’m traveling/touring I just can’t afford it to be too slow. Or just the opposite: I offer email only contact, but they email asking to meet at like 4 p.m. and it’s already 8 p.m. Instead of texting, they emailed me a booking request when I only check email couple times a day. And then when I say I can meet tomorrow, they’re like: I’m leaving tomorrow, or don’t respond back timely 🤦🏾‍♂️ I’m really trying to find the best solution. At this point though, I’m done with RentMasseur email. I’m debating turning off RentMen messenger as well. Even though it’s on auto reply, with very specific instructions, people still find a way to have a conversation with my auto reply on there, instead of doing what’s instructed. The auto reply instructs them to visit my website and then text me with the session they want, not send 2 word messages to engage me in a conversation. A client recently was even a sponsor and reviewed several escorts in the past: I blocked him because he kept messaging me on there and saying stuff like, “okay, understood” instead of doing what I referred him to do. It’s like trying to make me run in circles. Good point… I don’t fault anyone for needing to ask a question again, I have sometimes even sent my auto-greeting text to clients who might have included 1 or 2 answers, by mistake. I try to respond promptly something like, “and I know you’re hosting in XXX city and you seen me on RentMen, but if you can just answer the ones that aren’t included (usually like a name/age/preference aren’t included), that’ll be appreciated…So I can BEST ACCOMMODATE YOUR REQUEST”. However I can see in your case how it can be a ding in the interest if too many things are ignored or unanswered. But my request is super easy and simple: Try to at least TELL me you want to meet somewhere with the same amount of notice you’d give if you are visiting your non-immediate family members. Surely you wouldn’t call them out the blue asking to “come over”? I know people know better. The stupidity is unnecessary.

Examples: And then today: Sometimes I want to ask, what are you thinking contacting on such short notice expecting me to be in the same place at the same time you are, and not having any flexibility on making it happen? Who told you that it’s supposed to be THAT simple. Especially when my ad specifically states what 2 cities I am based in, and that any other areas even if just an hour or 2 away: are travel locations for me. Am I supposed to be a genie? 🧞 And then when I asked the first person if he stayed, he’s like he did…but then didn’t even tell me. By that point I had already figured he wasn’t going to be available. It’s almost like some people go out of their way to make an appointment not happen. I can’t explain it any clearer on my Ad because I mention it twice that I ask for notice. This is probably why a lot of guys only ever advertise their ads when they get to a city and don’t do any advanced posting. I can’t personally work that way, but if it has to get to that point that’s how it would be. Though it would be much easier if people just used some common sense and courtesy…unless they are just intentionally bullshitting, which I wouldn’t be surprised.

And the other thing they need to stop doing, is making a default pop up window whenever someone clicks on a provider’s website link in profile that says “warning the site you’re viewing may be trying to phish for your information. And some people can’t decipher the difference. It’s not a warning against my website, it’s a general warning against fake and scam links. It’s like damn, are y’all tryin to work with us or against us? If it’s that bad, just have every advertiser do a brief video interview consultation before placing an Ad. I am not mad at RentMen/Mass but I feel like I’m having to do too much work when I’m already paying to be there. People can talk all the smack they want about customer service, etc etc but they aren’t dealing with the same thing day after day after day…. …after day, after day, after day, hour after hour after hour after hour. And all this can be easily avoided by making 2 or 3 changes. Put our rates back up (it don’t even need to be rates, it can just say “porn star Booking fee) let personal websites be easily accessible, and make clients pay into something to instant message us because I have dozens of RentMen messages that have gone nowhere. If I have to keep wishing and repeating the same shit every month, I’m just going to start making everyone contact me by booking form or mail if they’re too afraid of a deposit…not email but, P.O. Box. Include a money order and email address to receive response 😆

Yikes…I know that feeling. We’re you in Dallas proper or one of the many surrounding suburbs? I used to live in DFW however, it gets worse lol. As you get further into the Midwest, it can get pretty dismal. However things tend to liven up a bit in the Spring and Summer, but it’s still 4-5 months of nothing going on. Compared to where I stay now, Dallas seems like a bustling megapolis lol. They’re all expensive, however Denver wasn’t on that category up until the past decade. It used to be cheap and affordable before the marijuana boom. Now it’s just an overpriced city and the eagerly generous clients have been replaced by cheap stoners who don’t want to pay. And everybody trying to be escorts. Once in awhile a good client can be had…but for the most part, it’s a mess. I’m glad to say: I will no longer need to make any trips to Denver. I let go a property I had been holding onto there, and have no desire to return. My last visit: I stayed for 24 hours and was gone by 4 p.m. Wish I could say the same about Kansas City and all of Missouri because I’m tired of this shit too lol. Told myself I wish I could have just stayed in San Diego but, I didn’t have the means for a longer term stay. Plus business there wasn’t necessarily consistent, however I enjoyed the opportunity. Don’t move to a place based on having lots of “your type” of man. In my experience that doesn’t always equate to actually finding one that suits you. And if you aren’t Latino: you might even be left out the “clique” Hell, when I was in San Diego…all of my clients were White or transplants from Europe. I even was staying minutes from the border and didn’t meet any serious Latino guys. Meanwhile in Nashville, I met a guy at a bar who was Mexican 😆 As for Atlanta, it’s definitely a “Mecca” but moreso a gay Black Mecca. Saying a person would be “competing” would be an understatement. At the same time it’s also a growing hot spot for White and Latinos as well, but my observation was people tend to also segregate. I’ve been to Washington DC and it’s similar in a way. As for who’s gayer than the other: Definitely Atlanta. This is also why it’s good for people to get back on Adam4Adam (mainly because I want to get more clients from it since RM and RMass aren’t familiar in smaller towns) I often use Adam4Adam as a gauge to see how many guys are in/around a city. Looks like Atlanta is gayer by about 9 guys lol. That said: both cities are located in very conservative, racist, and crime prevalent areas. Sometimes the bigger cities isn’t the best choice. If you’re going to consider Dallas, consider Kansas City. Or Albuquerque. There’s Latino men in both areas. Hell I just met a guy with Iranian background the other day. I thought he was Latino until he told me lol.

I liked Don Lemon, I think he made CNN entertaining and relatable to watch especially as a gay man of color married interracial. At the same time, it’s never fun to get caught up. I would like to see him do his own channel at some point…

I have emailed RentMen and Adam multiple times asking to allow rates again, even if it’s just to say booking cost or massage price etc. neither seem in a hurry to do so. Hate to say it, but they’re part of the solution and the headache. The timewasters are just the by-product. If I was running the site, I would not even allow people to contact me, unless they clicked on my rate. It’d say something like: CLICK HERE FOR MY PRICE AND PHONE NUMBER. Matter of fact, I used to direct clients to my client introduction page on my site. Now, I have my pricing page as the homepage. Because some people will claim to not even know how to find that, even though they brilliantly found my number on RentMasseur, skipping over all the other boxes.

I agree with this. However, let me BE CLEAR. I didn’t get angry at the question. And I didn’t get angry at the answer. In fact I wasn’t angry at all (nor am I saying you are saying I was angry). I was simply highlighting the combination: My RENTMASSEUR has the rates. So to ask me that to begin with, was redundant. The client in question isn’t stupid, he knows how to make a profile, upload a picture, and apparently is an expert on how much something should cost. Therefore finding my rate shouldn’t have been an issue. So there’s no reason to double my work, and then shoot me down in the process. I could have took the high road and not responded at all. I know some providers will block anyone who asks questions that are provided. I agree (though idk about CarMaxx lol) And I’m not offended. I’m just making a statement. I know you are backing me, but people keep saying offended, angry, etc. There’s nothing in my message to him that conveys any of that. I was 💯 cordial and nice with him. In fact, it’s not even 1 person I’m discussing: I’m talking about ALL potentials who do that type of thing. And I just say: if they’re going to ask how much, don’t get passive aggressive and put me down when I say the price. Otherwise, rephrase the question to better suit your needs, if you’re on a budget. Or, just read the ad. Avoid the humiliation on both parties. And I see this all time. For example, I was engaging with someone on the Goodwill app last night: because in my area RentMen/RentMasseur is mostly unknown. But it did help to run test the theory: if they don’t come with an offer, then aren’t trying to pay anything at all. Just trying to get your price and shoot you down, to be a jerk: I’m going to repeat the same thing, in case you didn’t catch in the original message. It was not RentMen: Again… Again… Let me say this one more time again: I’m not saying it’s a burden asking how much someone charges. It’s not haggling to ask, respond or decline, OR…OR, ask the person how much they’re looking to spend. That’s called QUESTIONS. There’s nothing wrong with a question. Period. What I’m saying is: if the information is available, and someone still asks me how MUCH…then don’t come back and tell me it’s too much when I’m sitting here and displaying the info that’s necessary. You remember the phrase, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it all? The extra commentary was unnecessary, unless you’re going to at least have the courtesy to put yourself on the line and say what you can pay. Otherwise, don’t waste yours or my time asking. And I like what @Simon Suraci said but, maybe certain clients don’t need to be given second chances, if they come at me in THAT tone. In fact, the same person is likely to come around later, and lowball or time waste again. And I welcome legitimate questions about rates and other necessary details. Like I said earlier, it’s not the question. It’s the approach. if a person is that eager and horny like he says, then it’s no reason to then descend into calling me TOO EXPENSIVE after saying I’m awesome twice. Like come on, who is he fooling? Some of you guys are taking my post personally and then making it a personal issue. It’s not. Just read it from a subjective perspective versus seeing it like I’m saying asking any question is NOT etiquette. Asking a question isn’t bad etiquette. I know you’re being “subjective”, but 19 out of 20 people, really? I’m only asking anywhere from $125 to $300 for a visit. How is that even close to being 19/20 being too expensive when that’s what everyone here is used to paying? Now If I was charging $10,000, MAYBE 19 out of 20 would be accurate, which wouldn’t bother me because all I’d need is that 1 out of 20 to get me through every 2-3 months. And I’d be set. Not having to deal with being called “too expensive” when I am being every bit as much affected by inflation and recession as a freelancer. I’m barely paying my bills. His offer probably wouldn’t of even been enough to pay my insurance bill, plus he’s not even in the same city as me and he’s already trying to put me down? That said, I been on tour on/off this whole year: I booked a session at my prices in EVERY CITY I stayed. Some did 250, others did 500. One did 1,000. Again, people don’t need to gaslight me into believing something different than I KNOW is reality. Anyhow, that client in question has been blocked: and I let him know he needs to educate himself before contacting someone like that again. Otherwise, the next person might say: I’m too expensive for you? Well I think you’re too cheap for me! 😂

I meant to elaborate on that…It’s not the Black clientele in those cities that I refer to as being problematic. It’s moreso just the general dynamic: I know in some cities like Atlanta and Chicago, Black and White gays are “voluntarily” segregated, yet the opportunity for interracial sex is endless on the Internet in those cities. Thus, those cities I find are not always reliable because, they have tons of free and paid men of color to choose from. Versus a place like say: San Francisco: As for Missouri, it is actually very majority White. Kansas City and St. Louis are the only 2 areas where I believe the percent of Black is highest However, it’s disappointing that in even the low percent Black areas of Missouri, where I should technically be in high demand (which I am, but only on thrift store minded hookup apps) the guys are low budget and don’t pay either…so it could be largely a class issue. Or racism, of not valuing a person of color enough to pay 🤷🏾‍♂️Most of these guys out here are so full of shit, because if they can talk about their $80,000 pickup truck, I know they can afford $250-$300. Even had a guy managing one of the Cowboy calendar events in the area I was in, bullshit me twice on meeting. I just couldn’t believe it was him. Last time he asked when we’re going to meet. I said: whenever you’re ready to stop BSing.

Well, are we talking people or specifically the gay culture? I find gay culture tends to have its own narrative and dynamics of racism. This is more common in some cities than others though. I occasionally hear about White/Latino gays being a victim of a crime and the perpetrator was Black. Further investigation or “getting to know” the person shows said person is either a regular drunk in public (thus saying or acting in irresponsible ways to make oneself vulnerable to violence), or they have little discernment for the type of Black men they go for, usually finding whoever online and bringing them home, and then talking about how they got robbed. You’re on to something, but those generalizations are a bit steep. Don’t fall into the trap of believing and manifesting certain things to be true. It’s simply not. I have met more than a few White “providers” who were attractive but never took off in the biz. They were in it for a few months, then vanished. Not that I have all the answers or reasons for it, but it just goes to show. I have also have dealt with the occasional hate from non-Black friends over the years who are subconsciously unsupportive of me being a provider. Meanwhile they were giving it up to every Tom, Dick and Hairy for nothing. The one thing I have seen to be true, is that White guys tend to have it easier when it comes to sugar daddies and longer arrangements. I’ve even seen first hand how some of these “tricks” operate (and I don’t refer to them as clients because they aren’t looking to pay for actual services…moreso they pay for the attachment they want to keep with the individual). I’ve seen many be available at a White friend’s beck and call, but then blow me off and ignore me any other time. Or even downright disrespect me. And the friend would be every much part of the scheme, bad mouthing and talking shit or making out like I’m living a freeloading lifestyle. Just like a guy in Denver I know: after my friend passed away, the guy would talk and text me everything from start to finish, including how he gave him thousands of dollars over the course of time and that’s why he believes someone close to him (in this case, a White woman) overdosed him on bad drugs and took all the money. He did a couple nice things at the time, but he couldn’t even give me $100 if I asked. People like that are everything that’s wrong with the scene. I knew him, before he ever met him. And he knew me when he was around too. Yet he had no real concern about my circumstances.

Speaking of prices and wine: I was at a restaurant the week before last, and ordered the larger ounce choice of Chardonnay from the bar while my food was waiting. I was trying not to ask, “how much” but I wish I did. When the bill came, it was $19 😆 I coulda swore I was getting half bottle, because it wasn’t like rare vintage per se. Just a popular upper shelf grocery-available wine. I was charged for the whole bottle plus some. So I understand sticker shock. And I’ve said before: Sales and people trying to sell me stuff is not in my nature, if I want something I’ll buy it. Coming to me making me feel like I need something, just isn’t me. And I never want to make clients feel that way. I want them to feel relaxed and okay with my rates and UNDERSTAND that I need to charge such prices because: $50-$125 is only enough to pay a bill and leaves nothing to keep myself invested in the biz and sustainable. I don’t herd enough cats in one day to make charging that price efficient for a first time, possibly one time client. I have met long time regulars as low as $150/200 for sessions that I’d normally ask $300 for. It’s not negotiating, it’s just weighing the costs and effort involved. If someone I’ve known for 10 years is a short distance away and is hosting, treating to dinner, etc etc and I know only wants 20-30 minutes AND let’s me ***k his partner…okay, maybe I can do something different then I normally would because: the dynamic is different and I know it’s likely to be repeat. But even they also know: normally it’s 250-300, but I used to stay at their air bnb for 2-3 days and get a paid the session so: I don’t mind being accommodating based on their changed circumstances. But that’s at my discretion versus: well I did XXX, so I don’t think you deserve XXX.

No, I censored out some of the conversation where I included rates in the same email

Thanks for letting me know you didn’t read the first post. But since you asked: I’ll say it again: See where I did that? That was the first response I sent. I even have it in my initial text template. So yes, there is an instant questioning of confirming they’ve read my site. In defense of clients: I have emailed RentMen and told them: when people click on our NUMBER, let us customize a message to include, instead of the standard “ask for XXX and say you seen me on rentmen” I want to be able to write a whole paragraph and make sure they check a box after every . to understand fully my ad before contacting me. That way I’m not having to do all the extra stuff. It would look something like this: BEFORE TEXTING, PLEASE AGREE TO ALL TERMS BELOW: #1: Please be ready to give me 1 to 2 hours minimum notice or preferably day in advance. ✅ # 2: I require a deposit unless you are hosting and have a profile/pic ✅ #3: My rates are $200-$300 per session ✅ 4. Please check this box again to agree you have read all terms. Any visits cancelled last minute subject to $50-$100 cancellation fee ✅ 5. Check this box again to agree you will not argue/be passive aggressive about my deposit or booking policy ✅ Thanks for following directions valued client. I can’t wait to meet you! Here’s my number (xxx) xxx-xxxx

Beautiful dissertation, my friend. I will say: I have come to evolve away from race being the underlying reasoning or factor to everything when it relates to sex work. And I’ve also come to just understand and accept it for what it is. I know I’m not going to be everyone’s preference. I just came back from a 2 month tour, where I drove from Kansas City to San Diego. I met all types of clients from White, to Latino, Middle East, Black, even Asian. I even got hired at a 4som where the other 2 guys were White/Latino and the client was White. It worked out great, the client even paid my whole fee upfront as a deposit. I was sitting on my friend’s beachfront patio when I was like: gotta go, I have an appointment now 😆 I know there’s a lot in the news and media about race, even in Kansas City the shooting event. It doesn’t surprise me: the last thing I would want to do is knock on the wrong White, Black or Hispanic man’s home. Halloween is only once a year, any other time: it’s a safety risk. That’s why I: shock/horror, ASK FOR DEPOSITS BECAUSE LAST THING I’D WANT IS TO BE SENT TO A WRONG NEARBY NEIGHBORS HOME…THIS HAS HAPPENED IN THE PAST. I think what is true though, White guys likely get a bigger market to work with, and can probably more easily work in many markets: whereas I have to pick and choose which cities I do. I’ve always said: cities that have more than 25-30% Black population are often troublesome for me at some point. I’m living that nightmare now in Missouri. Most the clients flake, they don’t want to pay, disrespectful, unreliable, inconsiderate. Except for a select few, who Thank Gawd, I wish they were all that way. I see it when I go out on the town: They make Black clientele wait in long lines in the club, and close them early. Unfortunately the shootings and fighting amongst Blacks in the city doesn’t make it any better. Some don’t even set an example for respect. Idk why that is but, I feel when men with money are always having plethora of guys looking for the same bag, which often tends to be in such cities (Atlanta, Houston, Chicago as examples), things get dicey. I will say though, my background is a mix of Black, White and Latin America so: I do catch an array of clients. But at the end of the day, like you said about #4…#4 could be anybody. Being nice and honest pays off. I may not be the type to smile and walk away from every cancellation/flake: but that’s called having a backbone and establishing boundaries.

I’ll explain the issue, once again: #1: MY PRICES ARE ON MY AD/WEBSITE #2: Asking me in the first place, shows the person didn’t bother to read my profile, he probably sends the same message to 10 other providers. #3: Yes, saying I’m too expensive for HIM…is essentially undervaluing my service. Even If he didn’t send the same message to 10 other guys, then why waste my time sending me a long drawn out message, IF you aren’t prepared to pay whatever price. If a price is that much of a burden for you, then don’t step up to the plate so assertively as if you are interested in my services. Why did I even need to read all that bullshit, instead of him just saying what he can afford. If he was going to be that audacious, he should have just included: I read your site and seen your ad but I can’t afford it. Can you offer me a lower price? I would have said fuck off, or: let me see what I can do for you. Thats akin to clients saying they get annoyed when a provider asks for a deposit and doesn’t say it upfront in his ad. It’s just the reverse. How would you like, if I walked up to your house…said I love it, want to buy it, and plant a nice yard: how much are you selling it for? Then I say: never mind, too expensive. Thanks. I’m not stupid and I wasn’t born yesterday. I know bullshit when I see it. No. again; you’re operating in the affirmative. You ASSUME that me asking that is an opening to negotiation. I’m not saying, “oh you think it’s too much? Maybe I can lower it for you”. I’m simply saying: “If you have the balls enough to say I’m overpriced, you should be man enough to say how much you can afford”.

Not necessarily. I’d be curious about how much he thinks a service would be, just like he’s curious how much I charge. If he says something lower than what I want to accept, I won’t be insulted. I’ll either be open to agree or know that he’s not someone I want to see. But hitting someone up at random and hoping they say something that fits a budget, is not conducive. Wasting your time, and my time, and giving me double work because I spend hours crafting my rates and to still ask despite it being up… I should have just ignored him from day 1 because it already sounds sketchy. That was my mistake.

I agree with everything up until… Walk away and move on? This isn’t an art crawl. If someone has all the info at their sight and still comes around disrespectful, they deserve to get whatever reaction. This has been discussed on the forum as well, about other providers popping off on those who play the naive role. I have more respect for someone who says, “I’m broke, I don’t make enough to afford you”, than to say I’m overpriced. Overpriced what? The same price hikes that has hit everyone else with regular jobs, has no spared escorts who have to PAY…. PAY TO ADVERTISE AND WORK. For example, a guy who seen me first at my regular rate…I reached out to see if he wanted to rebook. He admitted he had an unexpected tax bill and couldn’t meet. I offered him my return client promotion, and he came and seen me.