Jarrod_Uncut

Whoa Whoa whoa, let's back up. One question at a time. If we answer the first question, that'll kinda help answer all the others. How much time do you spend waiting? Well how much time did you agree to? Do you tell them, "if I don't hear from you by 6 pm Friday, I'll assume you have other things to tend to"? If not, you should. If they don't reply, you know what to do next.
 
This is where clients get mixed up. They assume, and then start contacting others, without actually giving some sort of parameters. Once a provider starts communicating with you, don't go making other plans unless it's clear that the person hasn't responded within the time parameters discussed. And that may have to be up to an hour prior to an appointment time.
 
I've had more than enough times where clients have been like, "oh I didn't hear back so made other plans". That's a real dick move. Because I never consulted them to tell them I had cancelled or made others plans. They simply assumed and took it upon themselves to make other arrangements, despite the concessions that were already planned. That's a $200 cancellation fee.
 
But lately to avoid that, I just try to make sure #1 the session is confirmed with deposit and #2, make sure they know, that I know...once we make plans it's made. No need to confirm and reconfirm unless I specifically say: "check with me the day before to re-confirm."
 
Also I tell people don't assume I do or don't have other appointments. Clients always think when they don't hear back instantly, the escort is making other appointments. Remember, we're in the middle of a pandemic, recession/depression, and nationwide social unrest. There is still demand out here, but most days, it's also very dead. Dead, dead. Zombie apocalypse dead (okay I'm exaggerating) ? So I'm not turning down any clients, I'm only blocking timewasters who contact for appointments, and then don't follow thru.
 
I've also left my Rentmen messenger on auto reply, and pretty soon may no longer be responding to messages on Adam4Adam. Only direct texts. The site is a magnet for indecisive, inconsiderate mind fucks who can't be relied on for serious inquiries. Fortunately, it still brings real clients my way...so I try and deal.

It’s not fruitless; it’s simply an issue that’s been around for a long time. When you were in your 20’s, were you a top-notch professional? I think I was, but to a 50 or 60 year old, perhaps not so much. Just be patient and realize that they have their own lives and aren’t on 24/7 duty.

Try calling him.
 
I know escorts who always reply: "Where are you? When are you looking to getting together? What do you get into?" and some clients get offended by such questions because they're too invasive...
 
Life is as complicated as we want it to be. If there's a will there's a way, unfortunately some escorts assume an unresponsive client is shopping around or not serious.
 
Making plans by text shouldn't be rocket science but some it is. Ask questions and if you don't get answers move on, grab the bull by the horns.

And in cases like this, I've grown to just move on most of the time. Lot of times it don't be worth trying to get them to "be real".
 
At the same time, I do occasionally call guys out if I sense there's no salvaging the relationship any further, and they're being blatantly passive aggressive. Just like in the above response. It's SO FUNNY because, it always gets guys talking...once you call them out on their shit. Then they want to try and protect their integrity, knowing goddamn well they don't have a single fucking ounce of it.
 
But most times, it's not worth it. Lot of these guys are overly inflated trash bags. They only use apps and hookups to get ego boosts. To make themselves feel good about themselves for a short time, and then go back to whatever fake pretend life they live behind the scenes. I been doing this for 20 years, have seen it and heard it all. Like the escort who has been hounding me to fuck him raw, then got mad when I told him I'm not looking to meet on a sex first basis, especially if he's not trying to be on my justforfans. Why the fuck would I want to fuck, just for the sake it? Lol.
 
I was saying on my Facebook the other day: being gay is not a noun. It's a verb. Something that's "done", versus something that "is". But I know that's not how gay people should see things. But I'm just seeing it for how they see it.

The waiter in question doesn't sound like he was an escort. He just happened to be one of those "kept" guys. Those types are different and they feel more privileged than being an actual escort. They're a different breed all together.
 

 
What do you define as the sexual marketplace? A site where gays are on? And what do you define places that are not like that? Applebees? The grocery store? The gym? Lol.
 
I mean let's be real: Unless a person already was "born into" a social scene (either due to their job, having lived in the same city all or most of their life, or live in the city), where can other gays meet that's not sexual BUT can leave the door open for sex. E.g., avoiding hitting on a straight guy?
 
Obviously hookup apps popular for a reason because the same guys are on there for years. I go thru phases myself where I delete the app, but with the closing of bars due to COVID, that really allowed 0 ways of connecting with other gays outside of clients. I've even do the occasional gym and restaurant "hit", Most times those never lead to more than just getting a Facebook or Instagram handle. Only been handful of times in life, that I met someone in public and it lead to something.
 
It seems most interactions start from hookup apps as starters, and it either goes 3 directions: turns into friends, turns into a couple more hookups, or just never meet up again.
 
And until I fully move out of the miserable Kansas Shitty market, client biz. continues to be sparse. However there are times I just like to tune it out and focus on clients.

No apology needed. I think you're spot on 100%.
 
But I'll give benefit of doubt that perhaps if they don't enter into relationships with that prerogative, they certainly stay in them for that. I have known a handful of gay relationships that were doing perfect when they were together: car, house, big parties. When they broke up, one was usually doing better than the other...but they both took a financial hit. Didn't see them out partying at the clubs much after that. And for the most part, they did stay open. Legend had it the person was in a relationship or had a partner, but played freely.
 
So what's the solution or alternative? At what point do guys decide to just simultaneously combust and make it into a relationship? What factors have to be in play?
 
Also I made a temporary move in with a client recently, and even though I'm grateful for his accommodation (needed it to transition to my own place), something just doesn't sit right with me because even though we have discussed it's not a boyfriend situation....it still FEELS like a boyfriend situation. He's a bit too lovey dovey than what I can appreciate. I don't want those feelings for him. Sometimes leaving off labels, don't change the biological workings of a situation.

The sexual marketplace is a great place to find sex, not such a great place to find love, romance or friendship.

I'm newly out to myself, and I find this baffling. I hooked up with a really nice guy before Covid. He offered to be friends, and we talked about what we had in common that we liked to do. When I left, he sent me home with some very delicious peanut butter cookies. When I've messaged him after to check in, no reference to sex in sight, he only sometimes replies, and it is half-heartedly. I am not pursuing anything. I've met guys in bars, made out, and had the same disappearing act after some he expressed an intense desire to stay in touch.
 
In the meantime, the guy that started out as a hook up and sort of has become a meaningful relationship would rather have sex with others than with me. If you spent so many years pursuing sex with dozens of men, it's hard to be satisfied with just one, I guess. But for me, it weakens the connection.

You got that right (I grew up in a conservative area). You are brain-washed for your 1st 18 years of life that anything gay is unmanly, shameful, and sinful. If/when you give in to the urge to hook up with a man, you still hope to "limit the damage" and keep it discreet, with the street-smart conclusion that you can't "live like those people in NYC do." So you focus on straight-acting, which definitely doesn't include having a relationship that any observer could interpret as gay.

I would hope so, because we’ve been paying to be on those sites all this time.

I know an escort like that who lives in my area. Everytime he messaged me, it was about fucking his hole. Finally I told him, “dude...you said you wanted to be travel buddies, but all you’ve ever put on the table is fucking you”. We’ve not actually met because it was always, come over now and fuck. Maybe he’s that type of provider, but I’m not that type of provider. All my clients must book in advance, and hookups are no different.
 
Then he had to audacity to say, “delete his number”. I said, “I already had sex last night and this morning, so I don’t need to meet you for sex today”. I was trying to meet n greet on a respectable level...he just wanted to get stoned and come over a fuck. Which brings me to this:
 

 
100%. That so very true with #1. I think the key is the expectations part. I think deep down some guys feel there’s some expectations to be...expected. Sex first, no expectations later ??‍♂️
 
Traveling brings us into contact with more people, but it can limit the chance for those turning into something worthwhile. I’ve actually been on a little break from traveling due to everything going on (pandemic, peace demonstrations, etc). So in this time I’ve been trying to cultivate some friendships that were missed connections, but I’ve been off the road since March, and the guys STILL aren’t consistent. I spent my whole Memorial Day weekend with no plans with anyone I knew. Fortunately I made up for it the next week when a fuck buddy and his friend came to town, but that really just had me at a low point.
 
Sometimes I wonder if it’s shame or race related. Maybe they feel a way about having gay sexual desires, maybe they feel a way about meeting a guy of a different ethnic background.
 
I know it’s not a city based thing, as it seems to be the same way in most EVERY city in this country.
However, some places seem to be more prone to it than others. Places like Nashville, Orlando, Kansas City: they seem to raise these gay guys in these conservative, backwards, intolerant upbringings, so when they are adult...they don’t know how to be in a relationship. Places like San Francisco, DC, Chicago...gay people seem to understand that you can do more than just meet another man for sex.
 
AND WHY do I always see Black/White straight couples in most any city or suburb, but NEVER any Black/White gay couples except in porn and at gay bars/villages. ? And then when you do, people discriminate and do things that make it difficult to be together. Like the motel clerk last month said, “I didn’t know there was going to be 2 people staying in that room”. Bitch, is it a problem?

...I’m sure there wouldn’t be any complaints about the heavier cub in this photo lol.
 

 
 

 
Perfect conclusion. It does. But one thing I’ve noticed, COVID19 has “killed off” a lot of Timewasters ?
 
But maybe now at least people understand, it’s not funny or amusing to waste the time of someone on the frontlines, risking their health. Maybe now they realize it’s a sick, unhealthy, and weird thing to do. Some still haven’t learned, and continue...but they’ll get theirs.

You've got it. You mentioned 85% of what my friend told me on the phone. Despite being in his 20s he's a seasoned guy and very smart as well. I just didn't want to mention all the factors (including race) that he uses because given the popularity of this forum, we wouldn't want to let know the timewasters they have been profiled. I also hate timewasters because they have ruined the industry and the mood of many escorts making them angry when one as a client asks 2 or 3 questions they perceive as a waste of time for them.

I respectfully disagree. I have seen way too many of those couples divorcing too. It just takes them longer, typically 10 to 15 years of marriage or relationship, but they all end up realizing marriage or a long-term relationship is something they were sold as social construct of what is the prosperous right thing to do.

The app culture has crossed over into the rent culture. Many younger men have learned the way of the apps and transfer it to their business model. So, quickies work. It's all they know. Too many are anti-social/non-social and cannot imagine the skills required to offer an excellent experience beyond a quickie. I have met many guys over the past few years that I pity because they don't have any meaningful relationships in their lives.

Tale as old as time. When I was in my 20s and 30s (pre apps), I don't ever recall hooking up with the same guy twice, even though that one time was quite pleasurable. It was always about satisfying the urge at that moment.

Well, if you read some of the things I and another discussed above, you’ll start to understand why some may do that. I ask for a deposit.
 
Gay men who are hiring gay providers need to:
 
#1: practice being less dismissive
#2: practice being less passive aggressive
 
People just to conclusions and automatically assume someone is a scam because they ask for deposit. Granted, on Grindr, which is a free site...you really can’t be guaranteed anything because it’s a free site with very little verification. But if people book on there, it’s the risk that’s taken. That’s why I don’t sell my services on Grindr. I want to be able to say,
 
“hey, I paid for this ad. I’m not a scammer or a cop. Why the fuck would I pay $30, $40, even $80 a month, every month, with the SAME profile I’ve had month AFTER month.... to advertise on a platform, if I was not serious about my craft?”
 
If paying for a deposit is a scary thing, ASK. If someone says how do I know you’re not a scammer? I’ll send them my card or other ad links. I could also send them my https://justfor.fans/JarrodBrandonXX?tab=AddMedia to show, I’m an actual guy, who’s into fucking other guys. Plus, most times if you question a scammer, you’ll get either a robotic response, or non at all.
 
I know there’s still going to be a lot of wary and scammers, but a deposit isn’t going to be an automatic red flag.

Just had a provider refund a deposit. Not because of issues between us but because we determined after communicating that we should wait a bit. I never had a provider return a deposit. That’s a huge plus in my book for this guy. And makes me want to really look him up when it’s a better time for us both.

I will say that I don’t tend to ask for age or ethnicity - I have clients of all races, and my clients range from their 20s to their late 80s. I don’t care.
 
But that being said, there are definitely consistencies in communication and you can tell with some level of certainty which clients will turn out to be time wasters as worst or hassles at the least. I will say that I try to give the benefit of the doubt, and I’m sometimes surprised, but a lot of the time you can tell.
 
Now in terms of your friend losing business - it’s possible yes, but taking every inquiry that you get is also Ill-advised. sometimes you must save your sanity. I remember once @Benjamin_Nicholas said “you can’t trip over nickels to pick up pennies” or something similar.

From a gay guy who has lived more than 5 decades: It's really simple, and complicated. Gays don't want to date, mostly fuck. Also, gays are complicated and the older we get, things get worse. Just the other night I had put so much hope in this date, turned out to be a tragedy cause I discovered in the process that I had nothing in common with who I thought it was going to be Mr. Right (or at least Mr Right for a while), so I ended up calling one of my regular guys to save the night. I apologize in advance if I appear to cynical with this I'm going to say: I think most gay guys get into relationships just to divide bills, have a better standard of living, and then open the relationship so they can get in the end what they were really looking for, to fuck with as many guys as possible. Human beings as most mammals are not monogamous by nature. Monogamy is a social convention. Marriage is a contract of sex work paid in installments.

Just curious on the opinion of those.
 
I just find it discouraging that I can meet a guy my type, have perfect sex, and perfect chemistry...and it rarely go anywhere beyond the first meet. This would explain majority of my interactions with gay guys. I have tried to make sense of not having sex with someone when I first meet, but it doesn't always make any difference.
 
Yet, I have clients who obviously we connected on a first meet, and known each other for months and years. I know every situation isn't promised to be one thing or the other, but I try to wonder if hooking up with guys outside of clients on a first meet...is a bad idea.
 
At the same time, it's like what are the alternatives? With many gay guys being relatively single, and not married...who really wants to go on 3 or 4 dates with a guy in hopes that something long term comes out of it? It's almost easier to fuck first, and get to know each other afterwards....but more often than not that rarely happens.
 
It may not be an issue for guys who are already established with a circle of friends, relatives, and work functions...but some of us likely don't have a huge social network to fall back on. My social and entertainment network consists of clients, the occasional bar hop, and social media/hookup apps. My friend circle is somewhat varied. They either live out of state or we fucked, and are fuck buddies. There's just no other consistent alternative. The gyms are usually filled with married and partnered straights, out in public usually is hit or miss.

Never personally been, never personally heard of...
 
That being said, (not being political, but just answering the question from a different standpoint) with the likely new world order of the collapse of the police state in America, I would hope that a sensible next leader, could pass a bill that refrains police from intervening on situations (such as bogus entrapment operations) that don’t create imminent bodily harm or property loss
 
And considering I’ve pretty much had to “police” myself all these years, I think other businesses could adopt a way to handle situations without involving police too. Because they are part of the problem, that’s why their windows are getting smashed out and burned. Police aren’t needed for every little thing. And if I were to be arrested going to a hotel to meet a client, best believe they would be getting a shitty review, and some.
 
Now the only other case that I know personally of, is a client who told me there was a sting set on a “escort” in a hotel. But this particular person was getting clients in and doing some unscrupulous things. That’s the only reason why.

Never personally been, never personally heard of...
 
That being said, (not being political, but just answering the question from a different standpoint) with the likely new world order of the collapse of the police state in America, I would hope that a sensible next leader, could pass a bill that refrains police from intervening on situations (such as bogus entrapment operations) that don’t create imminent bodily harm or property loss
 
And considering I’ve pretty much had to “police” myself all these years, I think other businesses could adopt a way to handle situations without involving police too. Because they are part of the problem, that’s why their windows are getting smashed out and burned. Police aren’t needed for every little thing. And if I were to be arrested going to a hotel to meet a client, best believe they would be getting a shitty review, and some.
 
Now the only other case that I know personally of, is a client who told me there was a sting set on a “escort” in a hotel. But this particular person was getting clients in and doing some unscrupulous things. That’s the only reason why.

Hello,
 
I am familiar with the Tampa/St Pete area myself. I am not in Florida now, but I was there for a couple months back in early February thru March.
 
As far as I know: Treasure Island beach, and this I’m just noticing: the gay resort formerly known as Flamingo has shut down. I think that was prior to the pandemic, but I know there is a website that takes to a different site now:
 
https://www.abcactionnews.com/news/region-pinellas/st-petersburgs-flamingo-resort-is-closing-after-10-years

 
That said, there are still some other spots to venture to around downtown. My suggestion personally: if you can, try to spend a couple or few days in different Florida cities, and then try another. That way you get the full experience. Every Florida beach and city is different, and when people only see 1, they only get to see that 1 impression.
 
Siesta Key in Sarasota is a world famous beach spot, you may even get a better sunset because when I was there, the sun kept setting in the northwest, not the classic dew west over the water. But also no place I’m aware of on the west coast of Florida is going to be specifically gay or nude.
 
That’s why if time/transportation allows, you may want to get on the east coast up towards Titusville and check out Playalinda beach, which is a nude one on the Cape Canaveral shore. However the towns surrounding it can be a bit seedy and devoid of much gay activity, but if you already have a partner coming along, it may not be an issue.
 
The other option would be Orlando, like the Parliament House. But once you’re outside of downtown and the resorts, Orlando can get a bit touristy and family oriented. Whereas Saint Pete beach and Sarasota tend to cater to an older, mature crowd.
 
Also look into Key West....it’s more expensive, but completely different from Miami and Fort Lauderdale. And more gay oriented/catered than St. Pete/Tampa. Which from my opinion growing up there: has struggled to expand its gay community, as that area is home to conservative Bible thumpers, and a handful of intolerant types too. However, being along the beach...you generally get a mix of people from up north and overseas.

Boys:
 
I'd appreciate recommendations for hung, 30+ y.o. escort and/or a masseur who provide erotic services. Thanks.
 
Eggman