Charlie

The aversion to body hair, in both sexes, does seem to be increasing. Some have claimed that the cosmetic removal of men's body hair, not only in the pubes but even on the arms, is a sign of the feminization of men by women who are uncomfortable with men's body hair as a symbol of brute masculine dominance.

It's hard not to have at least some residual homophobia if one is raised in a society that is homophobic, where everyone you love and respect feels at least some passive homophobia, and that was the society in which I grew up. It took me a long time not to be uncomfortable around homosexuals who were aggressively effeminate in public, i.e., "queens," drag or not, even though I enjoyed their company in private. I was lucky in my early 20s to be befriended by some strong gay civil rights advocates, who managed to educate me about my unconscious assumptions about the sickness/unnaturalness of homosexuality, which existed right alongside my enjoyment of being gay. Then there was the fact that I was sexually attracted to males who were--wait for it!!-----"straight-acting." There has to be some element of homophobia in that aspect of my psyche, but I don't think there is anything I can do about that. Knowing something rationally is not enough to change what one feels in one's gut, but it is still vitally important to acknowledge what one knows rationally. I am thankful that the culture in which I grew up has changed its attitude toward homosexuality, for now, but that change needs to be constantly nurtured, because it is human nature to form and propagate phobias against those who are perceived as aberrant.

I used to do this sometimes, too.

Many years ago, I was living in England for a year, and my partner was coming for a visit, with one of his brothers. My partner and his brothers had never confided in one another about their sexual or romantic interests (there were big age gaps between each brother, and theirs was a rather puritanical Catholic family), so as far as the family knew, my partner and I were simply friends who had been living together for a half dozen years. The two younger brothers were already married, but the brother closest to my partner in age lived alone in another city. My partner decided that before the two of them traveled to London to see me, it was time to let his brother know the truth. He was very nervous about it, but the night before they left for London, he sat down with his brother and told him that there was something his brother needed to understand about our relationship. To his relief, his brother was not only not surprised, but he said he hoped I had some gay friends in London, because he was eager to get laid. The three of us have been close friends ever since. (BTW, his spouse for the past 39 years is a man whom I had sex with in London before they met one another.) One never knows what will happen when one opens up to someone who has known one for a very long time, but I hope the event goes well for you.

The Czech president's name was Vaclav (not Pavel) Havel, and he was not an economist, he was a playwright. By the way, I lived in the town where Havel lived and worked while he was in "internal exile" before the Velvet Revolution. Perhaps you should have googled before you posted.

Can I get that on Amazon?

Does "my very last hire" mean (gasp!) that you have retired from hiring?!

Well, the theory doesn't explain my spouse and his three brothers. The two older brothers are gay, the two younger brothers are straight.

I'm sure that they will confirm that when interviewed by the FBI.

I couldn't have gotten hard, nervously watching for scorpions.

Earlier this year, I finally finished an implant process for three missing or decayed teeth in the upper right quadrant of my mouth. The whole thing took three years to complete, because the initial bone grafts didn't work, and they had to be repeated a couple of times. The first implant also failed because of an opening between the sinus and the bone. I finally got two teeth implanted firmly, and the periodontist said she was reluctant to trust the bone for the third, so the last tooth is somewhat oversized to correct the bite. The whole thing was pretty expensive, but my insurance covered more than I had expected (partly because we were able to spread the claims over three years to get by the annual limits). I was not a happy camper while it was all going on, because it was often pretty uncomfortable, and I worried about what to do if it never worked out. However, I have now had the implants in working condition for nine months, and I don't think about them because they feel so natural. I do have to consciously remember to chew on both sides of my mouth after such a long time chewing on only one side. Ultimately, I think it was worth the unpleasantness and expense, but at my age, I don't think I would go through it again.

This reminds me of when I went to work in a small city in Eastern Europe shortly after the Iron Curtain collapsed. There was no facility for using credit cards or even personal checks. Everyone was paid in cash--including me--and people bought even big ticket items like cars by saving their cash under the mattress. Everyone, even bankers, kept asking me how credit cards worked in the west, because it was such a novel concept for them.

I have friends who often go to Mexico for dental work, because it is so much cheaper than in the US, and I occasionally go along with them just for the ride. Last month we went to new dentist in Mexicali, who did routine cleaning for a very reasonable price, but the dentist told them that they needed to come back to get some other things done, and the total price for the them would be $576. I stayed in the waiting room while the cleaning was being done, and I overheard the receptionist dealing with another American customer, who had finished and was paying his bill. His bill was for... $576! How remarkable! My own dentist here in Palm Springs is more expensive, but he has never tried to upsell his services. The periodontist I went to for implants charged a set fee (fairly high) for the entire process of bone grafts and implants, and despite the fact that it took much longer than expected and required several more bone grafts than originally planned, she never charged anything more.

I din't usually like tats, but I find the pine tree on his arm interesting (and suggestive?).

I went to an all-male liberal arts college (yes, there used to be such things), and women weren't allowed in the dorms at all, except during certain daylight hours during special campus events. Of course, that doesn't mean they never managed to sneak in, but it was a pretty rare occurrence. Breaches of the rule were more common in the off-campus fraternity houses.

I went out to buy a new pair of jeans yesterday, and even the ones I tried on that were described as "relaxed fit" were so tight I had trouble bending my legs. (Of course, I am no longer quite so limber as the young men in these photos.)

Those are boys?!

If I make a mistake and buy a pair of shoes which I find I don't wear, I give them to Revivals, the AIDS thrift store here in PS, where I also sometimes buy casual clothes.

BJs only (I think--it was a long time ago).

When I was a suburban teenager, I had no place to hook up, and neither did some of my tricks, so I had a lot of sex in cars.

In a SRO on the Lower East Side of Manhattan.

Eight pair of shoes, plus assorted slippers, mocassins. sandals and flipflops. But I wear the same two pair of athletic shoes 90% of the time, and replace them with similar models when they wear out. (One of the wealthiest and best known men in Palm Springs wears the same model white tennis shoes no matter how he is dressed, even in a tux.)

Then please answer my question about your comment.

I don't understand where you (QTR and William) are getting the idea that I approve of either Levine's behavior or the Met's behavior. I said in one of my first posts that I thought the Met's hypocrisy about what they have done for years is appalling. They could at least admit and explain their history of protecting Levine from the consequences of his behavior, even though most people would not approve of their reasons. For the record, I understand their reasoning, but I do not condone it. I also said that in the long run, his sexual predations will not matter as much to his reputation as the artistic accomplishments--you are free not to like that fact about human nature, but it is there. And William, I don't know if you know that hagiography is a biography of a saint that presents him/her as a paragon of virtue, but please show me where I have said that I view Levine in that light.

OK, I was an easy lay for anyone who had a safe place to do the deed, which usually meant older men.