CheckCar

Trust me, this version gets interesting in ways that the prior versions could not have imagined. For example: Episode 4.

Thank you so much for sharing this! Your post makes me wonder if this site should have a “memoir” forum where we can collect our own oral histories. You CLEARLY have historical memories that need to be documented!

This resonates deeply with me. I do most of my hiring outside of my home city in an attempt to distance that private part of my life from the more public parts. But there’s still a chance that someone in my more immediate social or professional networks might find out someday about my hiring practices. Through glimpses into local LGBTQ+ activist spaces, I have seen open and intentional compassion toward, as well as advocacy with and on behalf of, those involved in various levels of sex work. I also have noticed a decided lack of compassion for those who hire. While I have no desire to share that part of my life in community-based advocacy spaces, I can’t help but wonder if and how room could be made to acknowledge the complexities surrounding why I hire, rather than writing off someone like me as a predator and exploiter.

This is a great question. It seems like LGBTQ+ folks can find ourselves occupying “elder” status under unusual and confusing circumstances. When I came out in my sophomore year of college, I quickly became “Papa Bear” for the closeted folks around me. I had barely started to learn what it meant to be gay when I suddenly found myself positioned as the go-to for gay issues on campus. As I looked for mentors to support me, I realized the gap created by the AIDS epidemic. Many of my would-be mentors were either gone or were scared away by the intensity of the epidemic in the 80s. I was forced to become an elder way before I was ready to. And then there are those who come out later than others and experience what a gay male social worker friend describes as “delayed” gay adolescence. This is the 30 year old with a job, home, and other trappings of adulthood whose sexual and romantic experiences—to no fault of his own—are equivalent to those of a typical 17 year-old heterosexual. Is it fair to expect that person to play an elder role when he has had so little time to experience gay life for himself? As I type this, I realize that I still have some baggage from prematurely becoming a gay elder!

I identify so intimately with the series of before/after’s you mentioned. It’s a big reason why, as a near-50-year-old, I struggle at times to figure out my role in the present day. For instance, I can appreciate the affordances of online dating, especially for those who don’t have ready access to vibrant in-person queer social spaces. I also feel a sense of loss, however, as someone who came of age at a time when I had to go to gay bars or gay community centers in the big city for any kind of gay social life. In those spaces, I found older queer folks—sometimes only a few years older than I was, sometimes significantly older—who taught me how to navigate the world as a young gay adult. They taught me how to distinguish safer from riskier social spaces, safer from riskier dating prospects, safer from riskier professional and financial decisions, etc. By contrast, I became an informal mentor to a gay college senior a few years ago after he had just come out. When I asked him what his coming out experience was like, he told me that he had downloaded Grindr and had met his first “boyfriend.” The thought of Grindr being this young man’s initiation into gay life—revolving largely around hook-up culture without nurturing connections to mentors and community—saddened and alarmed me. I embrace the opportunities that have emerged through professional and some social networks to be the nurturing gay mentor with no sexual interests in younger mentees (I had a few bad experiences in my earlier years that taught me how difficult it is to mentor someone you want to fuck). But with the increasingly homophobic and transphobic sociopolitical landscape surrounding us, I worry that I’m not doing enough. I have a good job, ample savings, and lots of security in my life; I can afford to take risks that might be harder to manage for others. But I’ve been disconnected from in-the-streets activism for quite some time (which helps to explain my professional success and stability). I don’t see clear pathways for someone like me to get involved in political spaces where the white-collar, “assimilationist” gay male professional seems to frequently be identified as one of the problems that needs to be solved. Perhaps I just need to enter some of those spaces and hope that, with time, my potential contributions will become apparent.

I really appreciate the thoughtfulness of your response. In addition to personal mentoring, are you involved in—or do you see yourself becoming involved in—collective organizing and advocacy efforts? I’m increasingly feeling that the mentoring and professional role modeling I do for younger queer folks is not enough. Also, I suspect that I might have more opportunities for mentoring if I were to become more active in collective organizing. I’m curious to hear your thoughts on this, if you’re willing to share. Thanks.

For those of us who identify as older members of LGBTQ+ communities, how are we imagining and enacting our roles as elders in our communities? Note: I am not assuming that everyone on this forum sees themselves as older individuals, identifies as members of LGBTQ+ communities, and wants to play a role in those communities as elders. For those who do, this thread is for you. I’m around 50 years old, and I’ve fought some battles over the years as a gay man. I have some insights on how to survive and thrive that might be helpful to share. I also have a lot to learn, especially from younger members of our communities who’ve come of age as queer folks under a significantly different milieu and, thus, have insights into current times that may elude me. The barriers to queer cross-generational connection and community-building are many, but the ongoing and forthcoming attacks on folks like us warrant efforts to overcome those barriers, pool our insights and resources together, and fight for our dignity and rights as LGBTQ+ people. I’m feeling a renewed urgency to do more to improve our lot as a queer community. For those of you who see and carry yourselves as elders in our communities, how do you do it? What types of organizations or networks do you participate in? What types of contributions do you make? What types of challenges do you find yourself negotiating?

I hope you’ll reconsider. While no TV show can represent everything, this reboot has afforded me new insights into where some younger queer and trans folks are coming from. With the ongoing and forthcoming attacks on our communities, we could use more cross-generational connections to sustain us for the fight.

I’m on episode 5 of the reboot, and it’s growing on me. It’s definitely a departure from the early 2000s reboot. This time around, the cast is a decidedly more diverse group of trans, queer, disabled, gender non-binary, and people of color-identified characters. Episode 4 explores queer crip sexuality in ways I’ve never seen before on TV. There’s a millennial and Gen Z sensibility to the show, and the storylines reflect the concerns, desires, and experiences of a more diverse queer and trans community. Bottom line: This is very different from the early 2000s reboot.

I saw him recently. PM for details.

Young LL

In the thread linked below, @dutchal mentioned the following about MasonXL: ”Ad is almost two years old--must have been in another city to have escaped NYC notice for that long. Reviews indicate price for an hour is $200-$800. Reviews and dates match this guy so seems to be a name change: ” There’s a link in that thread to another thread on what appears to have been MasonXL’s former name, MasterLion

Jayce and AJ were much hotter in person than in the pictures that were sent prior to the event.

Just curious: Did former venues have more private spaces for lap dances, or has the party always had just one separate space where all the lap dances take place side-by-side?

Do you recall the name?

Anyone have experience with https://rent.men/hassanxx ?

Last night (May 28) was my 1st NYC Adonis nude party. For those who’ve been to others, was last night typical in terms of the number of attendees and the number and variety of dancers? Just curious if I need to adjust expectations each time, or if I can consistently expect what I saw and experienced last night. Any insights from more experienced attendees will be greatly appreciated. Thanks. 🙂

When was the email with the final line up sent out? This is my first time, and I haven’t received a final details email yet. 😞

Eden 🍎

The Last Supper

I feel a little embarrassed by bumping this again, but those private pics on Rentmasseur make me salivate. Anyone have firsthand experience with him?

Anyone with firsthand insights on https://rent.men/MARCELO_Uncut that you’re willing to share, either on this thread or privately? Based on Rent men reviews, it looks like he’s reentering the market after a pandemic hiatus. Any firsthand insights folks might have will be greatly appreciated.

Super-odd experience. I texted him a few days ago to check his availability and heard no response. When I tried again today — and followed up with a message via his Rent men account, just in case he didn’t receive either of my two messages (sent days apart) — not only did he not respond, but it appears he also blocked me on Rent men. First time this has happened to me. My message was tame and straightforward, so I’m not sure what scared him off. Oh well, hopefully others have better luck than I did. 🤞

Same here: Great initial sessions a few years back, but underwhelming sessions more recently. Sigh.

What names used by escorts, masseurs, strippers, and porn stars do you get a kick out of? Below are a few that tickle me. Sky Myles (Adonis NYC dancer) Justin Case (Buffboyz NY dancer) Christian Power (porn actor)