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We’ve all seen it happen: A benign thread on this site that gets derailed by haughty and venomous users who seemingly delight in belittling and bullying others. Sometimes their comments reflect an inability, or maybe an unwillingness, to accept that others simply disagree with them. Perhaps more disturbing are the times when their spite and snark emerge with no clear provocation, leaving the rest of us to wonder whether participating on this site is worth the hassle. Either way, this mean girl dynamic — the bullying of fellow users into submission and silence — is difficult to avoid on Company of Men, and it undermines this site as a space where all of us can convene and connect. Outside of reporting such behavior to site administrators — an imperfect response that raises its own set of challenges — I see no clear path toward curbing this dynamic on CoM. (If others have suggestions, feel free to share.) I am naming it here for the benefit of others who, like me, are troubled by the mean-spiritedness of some of our fellow site members. You are not crazy; some of our peers on CoM are terribly unkind, and their petty and spiteful communication styles can make it difficult to spend time here. And sure, this is not unique to CoM. Aggressive and malicious comments from others pervade practically every online domain imaginable. But I find the mean girl dynamic on CoM particularly disheartening because of the purpose of this site. As a gay man of a certain age who is often invisible in bars and clubs catering to the gym-bodied under-40 crowd, and who engages in the type of encounters discussed on this site, I don’t have many people that I can talk to about my specific “extracurricular activities.” (I imagine this is the case for some — not all, but some — of you as well.) I was so relieved when I finally discovered this site after years of wasting time and money on unskilled providers just looking to make a quick buck. I was also incredibly grateful for the outlet (and on some days, the lifeline) this site provided during the COVID lockdown. CoM has the potential to nurture a spirit-lifting camaraderie for those of us who struggle to find it elsewhere. I wish some of us weren’t so seemingly hellbent on tearing others down. Note: I have not named any specific users in this post, as the issue at hand extends beyond any single user. I implore anyone who chooses to comment on this thread to follow suit.

I never knew about how Hogan undermined Ventura’s unionization effort. A Google search produces more sources, including an interview clip with Ventura, that corroborate the story. SMH.

Indeed, things are moving backwards, which is one of the reasons why I find myself thinking about discreet queer spaces and social practices. With so many attacks on lgbtq+ inclusion and rights, queer discretion may become important again as a survival strategy.

I’m happy to hear that things have worked out well for you. 🙂

I’ve become one of those older gay men, although I try to balance my nostalgia for how exciting (and at times liberating) those furtive queer spaces felt with how confining and dangerous they were as well. Given when and how I came of age as a gay man, I probably will always feel some distrust of mainstream straight society, which is why I wish we still had more spaces than we currently do that felt like they belonged just to us.

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I wish more forum users exercised this level of discretion. We need to strike a balance between sharing helpful insights with each other and not disclosing so much that we place ourselves at increased risk. I worry that some of us have been lulled into a false sense of security. Given the current administration’s attacks on immigrants, I also worry about the potential convergence of anti-immigrant, anti-queer, and anti-sex surveillance. We need to be thoughtful about what we disclose, where, and with whom. In my experience, fisting porn encourages rather than wards off the homophobes who wanna pathologize our spaces. Sigh….. I long for a time when our spaces belonged to us.

Hulk Hogan Statement on Racist Rant PEOPLE.COM Hulk Hogan's racist rant was just released

Jon Dean, a popular gay male podcaster and social media content creator in the UK, just uploaded a “mini-doc” to YouTube on cruising. In the mini-doc, he spotlights actual cruising sites, making them public for anyone to see. It has been years since I’ve cruised in parks, tearooms, etc. (fun times). But one of the things I remember most is how their success depended on their discretion. As queer mating rituals have moved heavily online, I continue to worry about the exposure of our “underground” practices to those outside of our networks. In fact, I sometimes worry about who accesses this website, given the information we share here. How (if at all) can we protect queer discretion in an age when everything and anything can get exposed to the world?

Ahhhh! I didn’t eve notice that it was a different website. Huge sigh of relief. Thanks for pointing that out.

I just checked Masseurfinder listings in a few cities and was caught off guard. A lot of the guys who used to be there are gone, and there are now a bunch of (cis? trans?) women providers listed. Anyone know what’s going on with the site? When I searched Company of Men for “Masseurfinder,” I of course got tons of threads that include links to ads on the site. Forgive me if I missed a prior thread on this particular topic.

He used to have an X/Twitter account with exhibitionist posts of his body. When I discovered that he had had the enlargement procedure, I oddly—and perhaps unjustly—felt lied to (SMH). But yes, his results look good.

After posting the comment above, I saw the thread below. But having a forum—a separate and easily identifiable section of the site where we can post about specific OF and JFF pages—might be something to still consider. https://www.companyofmen.org/topic/153227-good-and-rip-off-onlyfans/#comment-2487158

We have forums on this site where we can offer heads-up on masseurs and escorts. Perhaps it’s time to add a forum on OnlyFans and JustForFans creators.

The penuma implant

This penis doctor has a YouTube page where he posts videos of his penis enlargement procedures. He rails against fillers and has a few videos in which he removes fillers that have gone bad. I suspect some of the providers I’m thinking of may have gotten a procedure like the one this doctor provides, since his results look like what I’ve seen in some providers’ profile pictures: better than fillers, but still a bit odd-looking to me. Note: Some of the videos are graphic. https://youtube.com/@drtajshow?si=9vqt6eJgfNt0grWx

My concern as well

Thanks!

I’m pretty sure this provider has changed his name. Does anyone remember what it used to be? I’m trying to see if there are prior threads about him. Thanks. BigLeoNYC - Male Escort, Gay massage - New York City | Rent.Men RENT.MEN BigLeoNYC Gay Escort in New York City, New York, available for Gay Escorting,Modeling,Erotic Massage. | Find all the best Male Escorts at Rent.Men

(1) Am I imagining things, or are more providers opting for penis filler injections? I seem to be spotting more and more unnatural-looking penises in providers’ private pics that are unevenly thick—and sometimes a bit lumpy—in the shaft, and the shaft seems to be out of proportion to the tip. (2) If some of these guys are getting the fillers, does “being” with them feel the same, better, or worse? I’ve never been with a provider whose penis looks like the ones I’m describing, so I’m genuinely interested in hearing what the experience is like from those who have. Hopefully responses can be offered in a non-combative tone, since I’m not trying to stir up the knock-down-drag-out arguments that sometimes take over these threads. Thanks in advance.

I saw Ken yesterday for the first time in his new, two-bedroom apartment. It’s bigger and nicer than his former spot, and the second bedroom has been converted into a dark academia-style space where he delivers his massages. I’ve always enjoyed his sensual massages, but the ambiance of his new space made the experience even better than before. He remains at the top of my list of NYC sensual masseurs. DM me if you have questions, since I won’t get into specifics in this thread.

Bumping to see if anyone has tried him yet. Any insights based on firsthand experience with him will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

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He got back to me and informed me that he’s coming to NYC today and will be in the city until mid-June

This provider was in Fort Lauderdale but is now in NYC. Any insights from those with firsthand experience with him will be greatly appreciated. Feel free to DM if you prefer. Thanks! MarcoPoloBig - Male Massage & Bodywork in New York City, NY | RentMasseur RENTMASSEUR.COM Gay Masseur MarcoPoloBig in New York City, NY offering a wide range of massages ⭐ experienced in therapeutic, sensual, swedish, hotStone, deepTissue.