CheckCar

@pubic_assistance As monkey pox becomes a greater menace, I increasingly find myself appreciating the question you posed. I’m lamenting the loss of libido less and less.

I posted on another thread that I haven’t received Adonis NYC updates lately. Someone suggested checking out my spam folder, but that didn’t uncover anything. At least it’s not just me.

Thanks to those who have posted on this thread. I appreciate the thoughts shared thus far. I am also eager to hear others’ replies to this question from the original post: ”Do you try to counteract the loss and regain your libido, or do you occupy your time with other pursuits?”

No appointments since mid-June, so absolutely a money saver

My libido wanes from time to time, for a variety of reasons. Out of curiosity, I’m wondering how others manage loss of libido. Do you try to counteract the loss and regain your libido, or do you occupy your time with other pursuits? Sometimes I wonder if it’s a blessing in disguise.

I have not received any of the weekly Adonis NYC emails since the end of June. Has anyone else received those email updates over the past few weeks?

Incidentally, most of the posts thus far are from Mentors (12/14 badges) or Grand Masters (14/14 badges). I guess that’s another sign of old age. 🙂

I feel old when I’d rather spend my Friday evening watching Barney Miller re-runs on Antenna TV (a cable station) than doing anything that requires leaving my home.

I used to be able to sign into this site pretty much anywhere since there were no explicit images during sign-in to catch others’ attention. Now, that’s not the case. Sigh.

“Confessions” of an M4M masseur 🙂

Inside the blow-up over Lea Michele replacing Beanie Feldstein https://www.thedailybeast.com/inside-the-real-broadway-drama-over-lea-michele-replacing-beanie-feldstein-in-funny-girl?ref=scroll&fbclid=IwAR38-geC1sRBzx9XkEQOEI0lKlflTrWRU1EAa4DwTCnNbwAYWxCc7CysHno

For my fellow lactose intolerants, this dairy-free ice cream brand is pretty good. EDIT: I actually buy those ones made with cashew milk, so I can’t vouch for the coconut milk offerings.

The comment before yours claimed that Ken was “beefier/less tight or defined than in his pics.” Would you agree with that assessment?

Has anyone seen Jayce outside of the Adonis NYC parties? I spent some time with him at an Adonis nude party and am curious to find out if he sees patrons at other times. It’s probably best to PM me with any insights you might have, in order to honor Jayce’s discretion. Thanks.

I’m not looking for Fire Island crazy or PTown crowded, so this might be a good option for me. Thanks for this feedback.

Does anyone have recent experience with Gunnison Beach in NJ? Previous mentions of Gunnison on this site are pre-pandemic. What days tend to be more crowded, what days are more chill, what kind of vibe to expect — insights on any of these will be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

(1) Select a city (2) Tap the icon for filters (see attached pic) (3) Scroll down on the filters page and select the grid option at the bottom right (see attached pic)

The new site does have a grid option. I use that since I, too, prefer the grid over the large ad option.

https://rentmasseur.com/Healandrelax This one has had a few names over the years. I saw him under a different name and had one of the dullest massages ever. It was the first time that I knew without a doubt that the masseur had no interest in being there with me. I remember getting dressed after the massage in total silence since he turned his back to me and barely responded to my attempts to chat, after a disconnected and underwhelming massage. Given his name changes, I’m guessing others have had underwhelming experiences as well.

Trust me, this version gets interesting in ways that the prior versions could not have imagined. For example: Episode 4.

Thank you so much for sharing this! Your post makes me wonder if this site should have a “memoir” forum where we can collect our own oral histories. You CLEARLY have historical memories that need to be documented!

This resonates deeply with me. I do most of my hiring outside of my home city in an attempt to distance that private part of my life from the more public parts. But there’s still a chance that someone in my more immediate social or professional networks might find out someday about my hiring practices. Through glimpses into local LGBTQ+ activist spaces, I have seen open and intentional compassion toward, as well as advocacy with and on behalf of, those involved in various levels of sex work. I also have noticed a decided lack of compassion for those who hire. While I have no desire to share that part of my life in community-based advocacy spaces, I can’t help but wonder if and how room could be made to acknowledge the complexities surrounding why I hire, rather than writing off someone like me as a predator and exploiter.

This is a great question. It seems like LGBTQ+ folks can find ourselves occupying “elder” status under unusual and confusing circumstances. When I came out in my sophomore year of college, I quickly became “Papa Bear” for the closeted folks around me. I had barely started to learn what it meant to be gay when I suddenly found myself positioned as the go-to for gay issues on campus. As I looked for mentors to support me, I realized the gap created by the AIDS epidemic. Many of my would-be mentors were either gone or were scared away by the intensity of the epidemic in the 80s. I was forced to become an elder way before I was ready to. And then there are those who come out later than others and experience what a gay male social worker friend describes as “delayed” gay adolescence. This is the 30 year old with a job, home, and other trappings of adulthood whose sexual and romantic experiences—to no fault of his own—are equivalent to those of a typical 17 year-old heterosexual. Is it fair to expect that person to play an elder role when he has had so little time to experience gay life for himself? As I type this, I realize that I still have some baggage from prematurely becoming a gay elder!

I identify so intimately with the series of before/after’s you mentioned. It’s a big reason why, as a near-50-year-old, I struggle at times to figure out my role in the present day. For instance, I can appreciate the affordances of online dating, especially for those who don’t have ready access to vibrant in-person queer social spaces. I also feel a sense of loss, however, as someone who came of age at a time when I had to go to gay bars or gay community centers in the big city for any kind of gay social life. In those spaces, I found older queer folks—sometimes only a few years older than I was, sometimes significantly older—who taught me how to navigate the world as a young gay adult. They taught me how to distinguish safer from riskier social spaces, safer from riskier dating prospects, safer from riskier professional and financial decisions, etc. By contrast, I became an informal mentor to a gay college senior a few years ago after he had just come out. When I asked him what his coming out experience was like, he told me that he had downloaded Grindr and had met his first “boyfriend.” The thought of Grindr being this young man’s initiation into gay life—revolving largely around hook-up culture without nurturing connections to mentors and community—saddened and alarmed me. I embrace the opportunities that have emerged through professional and some social networks to be the nurturing gay mentor with no sexual interests in younger mentees (I had a few bad experiences in my earlier years that taught me how difficult it is to mentor someone you want to fuck). But with the increasingly homophobic and transphobic sociopolitical landscape surrounding us, I worry that I’m not doing enough. I have a good job, ample savings, and lots of security in my life; I can afford to take risks that might be harder to manage for others. But I’ve been disconnected from in-the-streets activism for quite some time (which helps to explain my professional success and stability). I don’t see clear pathways for someone like me to get involved in political spaces where the white-collar, “assimilationist” gay male professional seems to frequently be identified as one of the problems that needs to be solved. Perhaps I just need to enter some of those spaces and hope that, with time, my potential contributions will become apparent.