I wouldn't exactly call myself happy. I'm not actually sure if I can ever be happy. I wasn't particularly happy when I had a career and was making a positive contribution to society. Now that I'm in such a worse situation both financially and health wise, I doubt happiness is in the cards. Don't get me wrong. I don't sit around moping all day. I do most of my moping at bedtime when there isn't anything to distract me.
As for hiding, well it might be more difficult to be "under cover" if I had a boyfriend-or if more (anyone) wanted to have sex with me-or if my libido weren't so low from probably a combination of prednisone (it lowers testosterone), being chronically short of breath-the two or three times I did meet someone I could barely kiss due to being short of breath-my age, and general state of health.
So if not screaming out that I'm gay is hiding-well none of the others has screamed out they are straight.
I've actually thought about trying to sneak someone in. Maybe someday the stars will align for it.
Gman