Juan Vancouver

Daddy, I don't know who is your source, but I assure you he is not even in the least bit shy. The man always participates and satisfies with gusto!
 
But again, I am somewhat biased.

http://www.veteranstoday.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/How_to_tell_if_your_dog_is_involvecd_in_a_Sex_Scandal.jpg
 
Kevin Slater

If I were a venture capitalist I'd be investing in pitchforks.

He's not part of Black Lives Matters. He's stirred up by the same things they are, but he's not a protestor, and you are not doing the facts any good by linking them.
 
Charlie Manson had every right to march in a nonviolent anti-black/white supremacist protest, but that's not what he did. He committed murders in the name of precipitating a race war. That is the right analogy, not the Black Panthers.

The Black Panthers, police brutality. On other issues, King's SCLC.
 

 
It can't be legislated away. Non-black folks (myself included) need to learn to resist and retrain their thinking and reject the implicit but insidious implication that White is Right, White is the norm, and blacks just don't measure up and never will.

If I were a venture capitalist I'd be investing in pitchforks.

If I were a venture capitalist I'd be investing in pitchforks.

Starting? They have been fighting for awhile. But you don't have to be Black to be outraged. It is time to join them.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

Take care of yourself first. Make sure that you minimize the possibilities of you having an awful experience, with a hooker, no less. Put it all out on the first email or phone call. Phone call would work better because you can hear an unrehearsed honest response. If you perceive any hesitations, chose someone else.
 
Life is too short for you to put your vulnerable and beautiful self in the hands of someone who might not handle it with the love and care it deserves.
 
And don't ask the general "Do you have any restrictions when it comes to ____?".
 
Directly, honestly state your stats. If you were 350 pounds don't write you are heavy boned, if you are of ay race, mention it, don't say you are mixed or something like that. The more info he gets and the more chances he gets to react to that, the more certain you'll be he might be a nice guy and will take good care of you if you meet.
 
"But shouldn't all escort be able to deal with....?"
 
Honestly, who cares! You come first. Take care of yourself. Only put yourself in hands of loving people. Learn to weed out the ones that aren't.
 
A lot of clients might try to convince you to force the escorts to accept you, to not disclose, equating disclosure with some kind of acceptance of shame. The argument has been made before that letting the escort know in advance is abusive to yourself, as if not confessing the fear will make you love yourself better. Don't let yourself be dragged into this conversation.
 
You come first. Put yourself only in situations in which you will have better chances of being treated lovingly.

This...Racism is everywhere, it just is, that's a fact...SO
 
Always ask...NEVER assume, when it comes to issues of race, age or weight etc. Just because an ad doesn't mentions limitations or preferences, does not mean there aren't any. If it is an issue for you, it might be an issue for the escort, give the escort the opportunity to express limitations or preferences. I have in the past experienced numerous situations that became uncomfortable. All of which could have been avoided.
 
Now whether or not an escort should state limitations and or preferences in his ad upfront, is another whole argument.
 
p.s. I like your new avatar @Lab12

Any good escort should be happy to see most any client, but if it makes you more comfortable, by all means, ask. I like the idea of mentioning your age, race and weight. Then we can have fun trying to decide which one he's an asshole about.
 
Kevin Slater

I understand why you are calling him a terrorist, after all that term has become so commonplace since 9/11, however I take issue with its broad usage and the fact that it's almost exclusively used in reference to followers if Islam. I feel it's a word designed to separate "Us" from "Them". Many indications show that the Orlando shooter may well have been "one of us" (or at least had the desire to be). To call him a terrorist but not call a terrorist other mass shooters, like the one at Sandy Hook or the Aurora Theatre, misses the point that all violence comes from the same place.
 
I just believe that the term "terrorist" is used to simply define someone's motive and rarely is it that simple. The shooting in Orlando, I believe was a combination of mental illness, self-loathing, easy access to weapons, in addition to ideologies he was brought up with. Yes, he pledged his allegiance to Isis, however I think he was just trying to make it bigger than himself, though in truth it was entirely about his own struggle.

Juan,
 
As always, your words are inspiring, beautiful and well written.
When I read your post this morning I was sitting at breakfast looking
out at the Atlantic and making peace with the Ocean before me.
Your very simple statement struck deep.
 
Thank you!
 
"And the ones that can know you so well
Are the ones, that can swallow you whole
I have a good and I have an evil
I thought the ocean, the ocean thought nothing
You are the welcoming back from the ocean"
 
Dar Williams "The Ocean"

Negative comments about our looks?
 
Really?
 
I am by no means the most beautiful man in the world, I am in the high thirties, have tons of flaws and if that were not enough, I am not white. To this day, I can't remember a single client making a negative comment about me to my face.
 
People treat you the way you treat them. Give them kindness, warmth and respect and that is what you will receive from them... also, as a few disgruntled forum members can attest to, I don't meet assholes.
 
"What do you mean you won't see me? Shut up and put me on your schedule, you'll get your money!" (Nope).
 
On the other hand, I am incredibly aware of the fact that I am not (and don't want to be) everyone's cup of tea. I am a cup of tea, I am not the ocean. I am a single cup of tea and can only be drank by one (or seven) people at a time. I don't need to appeal to everyone, I only need to appeal to those few who will drink me today.
 
Escorting should never be a source of pleasure, companionship and reassurance for escorts. This is our job, we are not here for the perks, we are here to do our job well, and at most, get professional satisfaction. The minute an escort tackles the profession looking for compliments he is fucked. He will constantly be wanting for something from his clients and will put himself in very uncomfortable situations that will never give him his desired ego boost.
 

 
I think you are making a very common mistake that has most of us in pickle. You are conflating self esteem and self esteem issues with the amount of attention and reassurance we get from others. Those are two entirely different and grossly unrelated things that go in opposite directions.
 
Self esteem and self esteem issues are about how I think about myself. Me. About myself. The way others perceive you have absolutely no effect on your self esteem. If other people's judgments happen to match your self assessment, then they will appear to be related, but there is no causation in this correlation.
 
Reassurance, attention, desire, criticism are all going from the outside to the inside. Often when people's self esteems are not entirely healthy, this external input might have the ability to damage it over time, however, when self esteem is being cultivated and is healthy, no amount of praise or criticism will change the way you think about yourself.
 
If an man starts escorting because external reassurance is important for him, he is in for a harsh awakening. This happens often and tends to be really damaging because they soon enough discover that not everyone wants them and they are not the universal appeal jewel they wished they were.
 
If a man starts escorting with a healthy self esteem and not really interested in receiving reassurance, he will discover this is a fulfilling and fun profession when he can help others cultivate that sense of confidence he himself enjoys. While he will not appeal to everyone, he will be happy knowing that he will appeal to enough people to keep him busy.
 
Also, if someone is that much of an asshole that he thinks he is entitled to be a dick, that immediately robs his opinion of every bit of validity.
 
Life is too damned short.

Negative comments about our looks?
 
Really?
 
I am by no means the most beautiful man in the world, I am in the high thirties, have tons of flaws and if that were not enough, I am not white. To this day, I can't remember a single client making a negative comment about me to my face.
 
People treat you the way you treat them. Give them kindness, warmth and respect and that is what you will receive from them... also, as a few disgruntled forum members can attest to, I don't meet assholes.
 
"What do you mean you won't see me? Shut up and put me on your schedule, you'll get your money!" (Nope).
 
On the other hand, I am incredibly aware of the fact that I am not (and don't want to be) everyone's cup of tea. I am a cup of tea, I am not the ocean. I am a single cup of tea and can only be drank by one (or seven) people at a time. I don't need to appeal to everyone, I only need to appeal to those few who will drink me today.
 
Escorting should never be a source of pleasure, companionship and reassurance for escorts. This is our job, we are not here for the perks, we are here to do our job well, and at most, get professional satisfaction. The minute an escort tackles the profession looking for compliments he is fucked. He will constantly be wanting for something from his clients and will put himself in very uncomfortable situations that will never give him his desired ego boost.
 

 
I think you are making a very common mistake that has most of us in pickle. You are conflating self esteem and self esteem issues with the amount of attention and reassurance we get from others. Those are two entirely different and grossly unrelated things that go in opposite directions.
 
Self esteem and self esteem issues are about how I think about myself. Me. About myself. The way others perceive you have absolutely no effect on your self esteem. If other people's judgments happen to match your self assessment, then they will appear to be related, but there is no causation in this correlation.
 
Reassurance, attention, desire, criticism are all going from the outside to the inside. Often when people's self esteems are not entirely healthy, this external input might have the ability to damage it over time, however, when self esteem is being cultivated and is healthy, no amount of praise or criticism will change the way you think about yourself.
 
If an man starts escorting because external reassurance is important for him, he is in for a harsh awakening. This happens often and tends to be really damaging because they soon enough discover that not everyone wants them and they are not the universal appeal jewel they wished they were.
 
If a man starts escorting with a healthy self esteem and not really interested in receiving reassurance, he will discover this is a fulfilling and fun profession when he can help others cultivate that sense of confidence he himself enjoys. While he will not appeal to everyone, he will be happy knowing that he will appeal to enough people to keep him busy.
 
Also, if someone is that much of an asshole that he thinks he is entitled to be a dick, that immediately robs his opinion of every bit of validity.
 
Life is too damned short.