Juan Vancouver

In my personal experience there are two ways in which this happens.
 
The first and most common way, is after a shared intimacy, after a passionate session or few years of getting to know one another, he looks at you with a glint in his eye, says "I fucking love you, man" slaps your ass, smiling and moves unto something else. In my experience, when a session goes the way I want it to go, I fall in love a little, I feel butterflies a little, I cherish that special moment looking into each other's eyes, which makes it very easy for me to imagine he will also feel that.
 
There is no promise, no contract, no attachment, no exchange of vows, and more importantly, no benefiting from the other's vulnerability. There is only love, encounter, tenderness, passion, all lived powerfully in a magic moment, then forgotten, till next time.
 
The other way is when after one or many sessions you notice the client suffering, tentative, demanding a lot of attention, constantly trying to break the pre agreed privacy boundaries, asking for reassurance, information, promises, or a lot of time outside of the time you spend together. Sooner or later when together, he will break down and in a very emotional way he will say something like: "I have not been doing well, I am suffering so much because of my feelings for you... I love you so much that I _______". You get my drift.
 
In this case, I listen attentively and compassionately and explain that under these circumstances I am unable to continue seeing him because that would only be damaging to him. I clarify that because of my professional ethical rules I will never -under any circumstance- start an emotional partnership with a client because I believe the power imbalances and mutual transferences and expectations will make the relationship unhealthy from the very beginning. I then strongly encourage him to look for professional help, someone with whom he can talk about this. Not another escort, who might potentially take advantage of his vulnerability, but a psychologist who might be better equipped to help him through that.
 
I tend to prefer not to wait till all this happens and look for the signs of emotional attachment before they further develop.
 
I have no problem with having a passionate, romantic boyfriend experience. Love traveling to romantic places with dear old clients of mine, with whom I can allow myself to be vulnerable and absolutely available because they understand, respect and celebrate the boundaries and nature of our relationship. What I won't do under any circumstance is keep seeing a client and charging him even if I know well that I will never be able to give him what he believes he wants. Making money out of heartbreak, to me, is just not an ethical thing.
 
To me love and vulnerability have never been a problem. They are the goal.
 
Attachement, expectations, blurred boundaries and emotional exploitation are an absolute no no. As soon as they show up, I will end the relationship.

I'm not sure what you are describing is really 'being in love' and if it is, it's more on the unusual side. The majority of people I know while there may be multiple people they love are not 'in love' with multiple people at one time. Some people are polyamory. But it's not the norm.
 
But actually being in love with an escort in most cases is probably not a good thing. In general how many people can tolerate being in love with anyone, escort or not, frequently be with them/have sex with them (actions that are normally considered things that bond and strengthen relationships), and know that in spite of all the time and sex together that the other person doesn't feel the same way about them. The majority of the people I know would get depressed about the fact that the other person isn't in love with them. It doesn't lead to a good mental health situation. If it did, then why would there be so many tragedies written about unrequited love. In an unrequited love situation it would be too easy for the object of affection, even without meaning to, to take advantage. In an escort/client situation, an escort who is a mensch will do everything he can to make sure the client is let down easily, not take advantage of the situation, and in many cases probably needs to distance himself from the client as how is the client supposed to get over the object of his affection when presented with him on a frequent basis.
 
But I am out of this thread. I'm even going to pick the 'unfollow' option.

And people who know them and care about them don't offer them alcohol. In the same way that an escort who knows his client has developed an unhealthy attraction to him should quit seeing the client and not fan the flames.

There's a reason you aren't supposed to feed bears in a zoo or you don't take an alcoholic to a bar. You don't keep offering someone something that they can never have. I'd say this goes doubly for sex with all the endorphins it produces.
 

 
This sounds very nice. But this sounds more like love as opposed to "being in love".

Any reputable mental health/relationship expert will tell you that if you are in love with someone unobtainable the best thing to do is distance yourself-allow the immediacy of the emotion to fade. Find a hobby.

it's ok to love an escort. it's ok to love a client.
 
it's not ok for either to take advantage of that

Thanks
 

 
My former chaplain where I used to live would not agree-or at least he based his sermon on the fact that the heart may want what it wants. But that's why we have intellect for control. If the heart wants something bad like a child wants candy, we adults prevent it.
 

I would say that someone with unrequited love may not be able to control how he feels. An escort who keeps seeing a client under those circumstances is just egging the client on-giving him groundless hope. It's like administering heroin to a heroin addict. If the escort continues seeing the client, there's a chance that the client becomes even more entangled. Sex and endorphins combined with the loneliness a lot of clients feel are a potent brew. 
 
Years ago I was smart enough to stop seeing an escort. I didn't even love him. But I liked him. I wanted to be friends. I don't think the escort particularly disliked me. He even had mentioned that I wasn't difficult to please. But I wanted to be a friend and not a client. I was fairly sure that was never going to happen. It was difficult. I can't even imagine how much more difficult it would have been had I actually been in love with him. If I had loved him, I might not have been able to keep myself from hiring him.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Yes.
 
Every time.
 
It's not whether I am a saint or not or whether a good escort should like everyone. It's not that I need to be "warned", I just need all necessary information.
 
When I say yes attraction has nothing to do with my answer. Yes, you should always share your expectations before meeting and yes, you should always share information about you that might hinder the fulfillment of those expectations.
 
There's tons of wonderfully fun things one can do with a lover who is even morbidly obese and clean, but because of simple physics there are things that are just not possible.
 
I was once hired by a guy who weighed possibly two and a half times my weight. He was really handsome and I thought the session was going well. At some point, after adjusting heights and angles, finally I was able to fuck him. As soon as I was inside him, he jerked at my arms frantically demanding that I lifted him with my dick and fucked him against the wall the way he had seen in a porn movie.
 
This is not an exaggeration. And as much as this case was extreme, it is quite common for people not in touch with their bodies to demand things are -because of the size and condition of their bodies- simply impossible.
 
You are three hundred pounds and you want me to lift you like you were a tiny young man? I am sorry, it sounds as if I am not the man for you. I don't think I can fulfill your expectation.
 
I will not go see someone who I think I might disappoint. If someone wants something that I am not confident I can provide, I will be clear about it and will suggest I am not the right man for the job. I will explain my point and I will offer options, but I will be very happy not to have brought into a situation where the only outcome is failure.
 
Now... let's not talk about me. Let's not talk about those other escorts who will be thrilled about seeing anyone. Let's talk about the other ones...
 
If I am insecure about the way I look, whether it is justified or not, if I feel ashamed that I am fat, for example and I show up at an escort's door just to have that escort close the door on my face because I am fat, or worse, have the escort take my money while he does absolutely nothing for me... that would make me so much unhappier and more insecure.
 
Why not give the escort every chance to reject me beforehand to avoid the much harsher possibility of being rejected in person or being taken for a ride?
 
ALWAYS GIVE THE NECESSARY INFORMATION. Not for your escort. For yourself.
 
You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to have someone who understands your expectations clearly.

Yes it has happened. From the small, dainty hints of poo to the full catastrophic Richter scale 10 events.
 
We are sticking our dicks in an ass, so we know the risks. If it happens, one tries as hard as one can to be light about it, and relaxed.
 
You contain the issue as best as possible. You clean yourself up, ask the bottom to clean himself. If it was only a tiny hint sometimes it is possible to continue playing after a little shower. If it is a full contingency, I recommend the bottom evacuates, showers thoroughly and then we continue doing other things.
 
If there is actual damage in the room I think it is wise to call it a day. There is no way to continue feeling sexy if walls, beds and furniture are smeared. (NO, this is not an exaggeration. People, learn to douche. It's a life saver!)
 

 
I would one hundred percent recommend against this. Never re-douche during a session. The ass has little corners where water hides and if you don't let water be absorbed for at least half an hour, the water WILL come out, now in a different color and texture if you stick anything in there.
 
The grossest accidents have ever happened when someone douches and jumps into playing. I can't warn you passionately enough.
 
Don't.

????

This original post is called "Would you rather overweight clients warn you about their size and expectations before meeting?" It's not called "Are you disgusted with fat people and should people warn you because you think they are gross". In this specific case, for my client, his weight was the reason for which his expectation could not be fulfilled.
 
He was unaware of that. No, he didn't realize his expectation was unrealistic without me telling him. As a matter of fact he had tried many escorts and was disgusted with the whole thing because nobody could give him what he had seen on a porn flick.
 
If you read my post carefully I was having the time of my life. He was a handsome, fun man. This had absolutely nothing to do with me having to be warned about his weight because it's gross, but I would have love to know he wanted to be carried by my cock all over the room. I would have not taken his money had I known in advance.
 

 
I don't need you to lure me with your bravado. The whole point of being with an escort who understands his therapeutic presence in your life is that you can entirely leave the posturing out of the equation. I don't need you to come with airs, I don't need you to exude self confidence and matador style elegance. Just be on time, be clean, be respectful, honour our agreements and be yourself. Believe me, if you do this, you will leave knowing what true self confidence feels like because you will give someone the chance to see you naked, vulnerable and still be appreciated and seen.
 
It's impossible to see, like or appreciate someone trying to put on airs of something he doesn't feel.
 
No need to pep yourself up before a session. No need to steel yourself up. No need to having to charm, lure, or make the escort fall in love... that's our job. Just be yourself. That's all we ask for.
 

 
Props to you. I beg you to put yourself in the shoes of all the inexperienced clients who may suffer from crippling self doubt and would be destroyed if not even a hooker will touch them. Having an escort not answering an email is one thing, having an escort closing the door on you or worse, taking your money and treat you like shit would leave a terrible mark.
 
Good on you for having confidence. Not good on you for pushing your own opinion without thinking how this might impact other people.
 

 
Yeah, and I want escorts to be kind and loving and sweet and respectful and I want them to be mindful of their clients' privacy... I want so many things!
 
Most escorts don't.
 
My advise to inexperienced clients when dealing with escorts is not relevant to when they are dealing with the ten best escorts of the world. No advise needed then. My advise is for when they are dealing with all the rest.
 
Do I need my clients to hide their money when I visit? No. Would I advise them to hide it when an escort is visiting? YES! EVERY TIME!
 
Would I want escorts not to steal? Who gives a shit what I want. Some do, some don't. The advise I give is in case you are meeting with the ones that do.

Yes.
 
Every time.
 
It's not whether I am a saint or not or whether a good escort should like everyone. It's not that I need to be "warned", I just need all necessary information.
 
When I say yes attraction has nothing to do with my answer. Yes, you should always share your expectations before meeting and yes, you should always share information about you that might hinder the fulfillment of those expectations.
 
There's tons of wonderfully fun things one can do with a lover who is even morbidly obese and clean, but because of simple physics there are things that are just not possible.
 
I was once hired by a guy who weighed possibly two and a half times my weight. He was really handsome and I thought the session was going well. At some point, after adjusting heights and angles, finally I was able to fuck him. As soon as I was inside him, he jerked at my arms frantically demanding that I lifted him with my dick and fucked him against the wall the way he had seen in a porn movie.
 
This is not an exaggeration. And as much as this case was extreme, it is quite common for people not in touch with their bodies to demand things are -because of the size and condition of their bodies- simply impossible.
 
You are three hundred pounds and you want me to lift you like you were a tiny young man? I am sorry, it sounds as if I am not the man for you. I don't think I can fulfill your expectation.
 
I will not go see someone who I think I might disappoint. If someone wants something that I am not confident I can provide, I will be clear about it and will suggest I am not the right man for the job. I will explain my point and I will offer options, but I will be very happy not to have brought into a situation where the only outcome is failure.
 
Now... let's not talk about me. Let's not talk about those other escorts who will be thrilled about seeing anyone. Let's talk about the other ones...
 
If I am insecure about the way I look, whether it is justified or not, if I feel ashamed that I am fat, for example and I show up at an escort's door just to have that escort close the door on my face because I am fat, or worse, have the escort take my money while he does absolutely nothing for me... that would make me so much unhappier and more insecure.
 
Why not give the escort every chance to reject me beforehand to avoid the much harsher possibility of being rejected in person or being taken for a ride?
 
ALWAYS GIVE THE NECESSARY INFORMATION. Not for your escort. For yourself.
 
You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to have someone who understands your expectations clearly.

Don't wait too long!
 
http://pzrservices.typepad.com/.a/6a00d83451ccbc69e20192aa6679ed970d-pi
 

I like to get massages, and I'm overweight. I disclose my weight as some massage tables will not support both my weight and the weight of the masseur. Disclosing my weight allows the masseur to prepare for a massage on a mat or bed.

Late middle age (or early old age) is an interesting territory to negotiate. You have to be careful not to give in to the pressure to apologize for getting old and to stay out of the way of younger people. But you also have to not delude yourself about the fact, that yes, you really are getting old. "Aging gracefully" cuts two ways. It can mean behaving the way other people think you should be acting at your age, or it can mean being the best you can be, for your age. I was more than 60 years old when I got my first tattoo. I realized I was finally old enough to get tattooed if I felt like it. A youngish straight guy who I am friendly with asked me if I might be having a mid-life crisis. I just smiled, shrugged my shoulders and said, "Could be."

Geez, what made you think I was referring to you? I guess you must have a lot of self-confidence or something. Anyhoo, yes I am lucky.
 
Reading this thread is kind of weird. Somewhere along the way it got reversed. It started as a simple question: should a client disclose he's overweight? I answered yes. At some point it got reinterpreted into sounding like it was a demand on the escort's part.
 
I'll stick with my original yes. I have been hired multiple times by overweight clients who made a point of stressing they were overweight in their initial contact with me, usually written. Not everyone has the self-confidence of PK. When i asked them about it, the particular clients I'm thinking of told me it was demoralizing for them to have been repeatedly rejected by escorts at the beginning of an appointment because of their weight. They responded to those experiences by going almost overboard in stressing to me before we met that they were overweight. It was their disclosure, not my demand. They did it to avoid another rejection. It was their choice. From my perspective, what they did made sense. While I don't think it makes sense for anyone to think such a thing should be a requirement, I would recommend anyone who lacks PK's self-confidence to consider it, because you likely won't feel good if some hot twentysomething won't even let you pay them to roll in the sheets with you.
 

 
Somehow the idea got mixed into here that an escort's "prejudice" = their inability to perform = blaming the client. Given that set of assumptions, I agree completely with the statement: it's completely shitty for an escort who is prejudiced to blame their inability to "perform" on the client that is the object of their prejudice. That's a no brainer. But that's not even close to what the original question asked. It was a simple question that said nothing at all about any escort's performance.
 
If the issue is about the interaction of being overweight and self-confidence, I actually really don't see how having lots of escorts plaster words like "no fatties" over their ads does anything to help anybody. The quote above actually equates this kind of statement of "preference" with "prejudice", which is in fact how I view it. I personally don't view "no fatties" or "no blacks" as disclosure. I view it as discrimination. It doesn't make sense to me that saying "no minorities" or "no fatties" can in any way be equated by anyone as "a badge of honor." It's actually kind of fucked up.
 
Does anybody really want to argue that the sign "No Irish Need Apply" ever made Irish people feel good?
 
I actually feel sorry for escorts who are largely intolerant of imperfection, because they are in the wrong line of work. Obviously they must feel a conflict between what they want - money - and what they can barely tolerate - imperfection.
 
At the height of my career, I had such an experience in a Brazilian sauna I went to with the intention of hiring. I hired the hottest stud there, who was obviously straight and probably very new to selling himself. It honestly felt like touching me made him want to crawl out of his skin. It is interesting to be considered one of the best escorts around, and to have another man feel like it is a disease to touch you. He didn't get within a mile of an erection, and I pretty quickly decided it was better for both of us to just pay him and put him out of his misery. So I get what the issue is, even though I wasn't lacking in self confidence. I actually considered the experience a good lesson in humility. Being as stubborn as I am I decided to go back the next day, and try again, except the next day I made it very clear to several escorts I rejected that I was only interested in hiring an escort that was Gay. In fact, I didn't even have to make it that clear to the guy I hired, since he made it incredibly clear as soon as he saw me that he'd be quite happy to get paid to fuck the shit out of me. Which he did. Then we went to dinner, and he fucked me again just for the fun of it after dinner.
 
Everything about my experience suggests that being able to communicate about what you want and are into, respectfully, is a set up for success. Being unable to communicate about it or being insulting when you communicate about it is a set up for failure. Everyone has different communication styles, but I think those generalities are pretty true across the board.

My man, respectfully, your reading comprehension skills are incredibly lacking. This is not an issue of the escorts' preferences, but of the emotional wellbeing of clients who might already have a tenuous self confidence.
 
Yes, by all means, if you are going to the mall, or a party or the office, hold your head as high as you can, celebrate who you are and give no explanations about your physical state.
 
If you are going to meet an escort, however, if you are going to put yourself in someone else's hands and be vulnerable, if you are planning to be in the incredibly dangerous position in which a prejudiced, dumb or inexperienced guy might actually bruise you instead of handle you with love and tenderness, then it is incredibly important that you weed out the bad ones before meeting as often as you can.

Going to meet an escort "hoping that you picked a winner that treats you like a king" is an abusive suggestion because you know there are not many out there. Leaving it to luck is a very self hating way to go about it. There is a much better way to know in advance if you picked a winner: let him know everything there is to know.

 
And the other part of the question... expectations. If you are one of those people who think escorts are sexbots who can and will do any sex trick for you every time, then I know you are also one of those men who are always disappointed. If someone tells me that I must cum once in his mouth, another time in his ass and another time on his chest, I will have to turn down the appointment. If someone tells me that he must absolutely enjoy anal sex, which has to this point been elusive, I will clearly manage his expectations and tell him that I cannot promise that. If a 400 pound person expects me to fuck carry him around the room like he saw in the movies, I will have to explain why this is not possible.
 
It's not a matter of preferences or performance, as you call it. It's simple physics.
 
Having good, loving intentions is completely different to selling "One syrup heals all" snake oil.

Juan, thanks for continuing to post despite some negativity. I can see why some clients might think escorts like more info rather than less so they can filter potential clients that they don't find attractive or that don't fit their hirer characteristics, but I doubt many would do so. And when an escort says he doesn't do that I believe him, unless I have firm evidence to the contrary.
 
The examples you cite about how client information enables you to determine whether you are a match, and if so how it enables you to tailor the meeting make perfect sense to me. The fact that you are prepared to tell a potential client that you don't think you're a match, or that part of his expectations for the meeting are unrealistic is a sign to me that you take your job seriously.
 
On confidence, I don't go into any meeting with an air of self-confidence, or that I know exactly what I want and will make it happen. I do go in comfortable in my own skin, having a good idea of what I want and being confident that if I am paying my partner he will be able to encourage me, and that despite any hesitation on my part that I will have a good time!

Hey man,
 
Thank you. Sadly I am more than used to people twisting what I write in the "evil ho witch hunt" McCarthy style. Historically this has happened here anytime any escort veers away from the beloved "I'll do anything to anyone and you can demand everything from me at anytime because that's my job" narrative.
 
I guess it boils down again to: want a robot who will repeat the publicity verbatim and obey you like a slave? do not contact me, you won't like me at all. But if you want a man who will be honest, will respect you and treat you like a human being, I'll be delighted to meet you.
 
You sound fun, by the way. =)

My dear Juan, as one of those people that may be one and a half to two times your weight. If he had wanted to be hoisted against the wall, he should have provided the fork lift.
 

http://www.toonpool.com/user/589/files/forklift_love_2017145.jpg

In our case, thank heavens we're both tops! As a famous escort once told me: "Two Tops Can Be Hot!" in such a way that my tongue got hard.
 
Meet me at the door dressed only in a towel and all will be well.
 
 

Yes.
 
Every time.
 
It's not whether I am a saint or not or whether a good escort should like everyone. It's not that I need to be "warned", I just need all necessary information.
 
When I say yes attraction has nothing to do with my answer. Yes, you should always share your expectations before meeting and yes, you should always share information about you that might hinder the fulfillment of those expectations.
 
There's tons of wonderfully fun things one can do with a lover who is even morbidly obese and clean, but because of simple physics there are things that are just not possible.
 
I was once hired by a guy who weighed possibly two and a half times my weight. He was really handsome and I thought the session was going well. At some point, after adjusting heights and angles, finally I was able to fuck him. As soon as I was inside him, he jerked at my arms frantically demanding that I lifted him with my dick and fucked him against the wall the way he had seen in a porn movie.
 
This is not an exaggeration. And as much as this case was extreme, it is quite common for people not in touch with their bodies to demand things are -because of the size and condition of their bodies- simply impossible.
 
You are three hundred pounds and you want me to lift you like you were a tiny young man? I am sorry, it sounds as if I am not the man for you. I don't think I can fulfill your expectation.
 
I will not go see someone who I think I might disappoint. If someone wants something that I am not confident I can provide, I will be clear about it and will suggest I am not the right man for the job. I will explain my point and I will offer options, but I will be very happy not to have brought into a situation where the only outcome is failure.
 
Now... let's not talk about me. Let's not talk about those other escorts who will be thrilled about seeing anyone. Let's talk about the other ones...
 
If I am insecure about the way I look, whether it is justified or not, if I feel ashamed that I am fat, for example and I show up at an escort's door just to have that escort close the door on my face because I am fat, or worse, have the escort take my money while he does absolutely nothing for me... that would make me so much unhappier and more insecure.
 
Why not give the escort every chance to reject me beforehand to avoid the much harsher possibility of being rejected in person or being taken for a ride?
 
ALWAYS GIVE THE NECESSARY INFORMATION. Not for your escort. For yourself.
 
You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to have someone who understands your expectations clearly.

Yes.
 
Every time.
 
It's not whether I am a saint or not or whether a good escort should like everyone. It's not that I need to be "warned", I just need all necessary information.
 
When I say yes attraction has nothing to do with my answer. Yes, you should always share your expectations before meeting and yes, you should always share information about you that might hinder the fulfillment of those expectations.
 
There's tons of wonderfully fun things one can do with a lover who is even morbidly obese and clean, but because of simple physics there are things that are just not possible.
 
I was once hired by a guy who weighed possibly two and a half times my weight. He was really handsome and I thought the session was going well. At some point, after adjusting heights and angles, finally I was able to fuck him. As soon as I was inside him, he jerked at my arms frantically demanding that I lifted him with my dick and fucked him against the wall the way he had seen in a porn movie.
 
This is not an exaggeration. And as much as this case was extreme, it is quite common for people not in touch with their bodies to demand things are -because of the size and condition of their bodies- simply impossible.
 
You are three hundred pounds and you want me to lift you like you were a tiny young man? I am sorry, it sounds as if I am not the man for you. I don't think I can fulfill your expectation.
 
I will not go see someone who I think I might disappoint. If someone wants something that I am not confident I can provide, I will be clear about it and will suggest I am not the right man for the job. I will explain my point and I will offer options, but I will be very happy not to have brought into a situation where the only outcome is failure.
 
Now... let's not talk about me. Let's not talk about those other escorts who will be thrilled about seeing anyone. Let's talk about the other ones...
 
If I am insecure about the way I look, whether it is justified or not, if I feel ashamed that I am fat, for example and I show up at an escort's door just to have that escort close the door on my face because I am fat, or worse, have the escort take my money while he does absolutely nothing for me... that would make me so much unhappier and more insecure.
 
Why not give the escort every chance to reject me beforehand to avoid the much harsher possibility of being rejected in person or being taken for a ride?
 
ALWAYS GIVE THE NECESSARY INFORMATION. Not for your escort. For yourself.
 
You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to have someone who understands your expectations clearly.

My man, respectfully, your reading comprehension skills are incredibly lacking. This is not an issue of the escorts' preferences, but of the emotional wellbeing of clients who might already have a tenuous self confidence.
 
Yes, by all means, if you are going to the mall, or a party or the office, hold your head as high as you can, celebrate who you are and give no explanations about your physical state.
 
If you are going to meet an escort, however, if you are going to put yourself in someone else's hands and be vulnerable, if you are planning to be in the incredibly dangerous position in which a prejudiced, dumb or inexperienced guy might actually bruise you instead of handle you with love and tenderness, then it is incredibly important that you weed out the bad ones before meeting as often as you can.

Going to meet an escort "hoping that you picked a winner that treats you like a king" is an abusive suggestion because you know there are not many out there. Leaving it to luck is a very self hating way to go about it. There is a much better way to know in advance if you picked a winner: let him know everything there is to know.

 
And the other part of the question... expectations. If you are one of those people who think escorts are sexbots who can and will do any sex trick for you every time, then I know you are also one of those men who are always disappointed. If someone tells me that I must cum once in his mouth, another time in his ass and another time on his chest, I will have to turn down the appointment. If someone tells me that he must absolutely enjoy anal sex, which has to this point been elusive, I will clearly manage his expectations and tell him that I cannot promise that. If a 400 pound person expects me to fuck carry him around the room like he saw in the movies, I will have to explain why this is not possible.
 
It's not a matter of preferences or performance, as you call it. It's simple physics.
 
Having good, loving intentions is completely different to selling "One syrup heals all" snake oil.

My actual experience for 15 years suggests the opposite.
 
The anecdote I already posted above says it all. It's just my perceptions, but what you are talking about here is basically whether you can disclose you are imperfect AND come off as self-confident. And you're right, self confidence is sexy.
 
In one case as I described above I felt like a client with a perfectly hard cock that functioned very well was desperate to cover up his lack of confidence in himself due to his age. In another case I felt like a client with a cock he himself described as nonfunctional (regarding erections) was full of self-confidence and fun and relaxing to be with. These were just my perceptions, but what we're talking about here are perceptions of sexiness. Clarity and confidence are not mutually exclusive things.
 
There's at least one poster on this site I have been hired repeatedly by who manages to combine what would clearly be considered an overweight body with a self-confident "that just means there's more of me for you to love, if I let you" attitude. I find that sexy, too.

Yes.
 
Every time.
 
It's not whether I am a saint or not or whether a good escort should like everyone. It's not that I need to be "warned", I just need all necessary information.
 
When I say yes attraction has nothing to do with my answer. Yes, you should always share your expectations before meeting and yes, you should always share information about you that might hinder the fulfillment of those expectations.
 
There's tons of wonderfully fun things one can do with a lover who is even morbidly obese and clean, but because of simple physics there are things that are just not possible.
 
I was once hired by a guy who weighed possibly two and a half times my weight. He was really handsome and I thought the session was going well. At some point, after adjusting heights and angles, finally I was able to fuck him. As soon as I was inside him, he jerked at my arms frantically demanding that I lifted him with my dick and fucked him against the wall the way he had seen in a porn movie.
 
This is not an exaggeration. And as much as this case was extreme, it is quite common for people not in touch with their bodies to demand things are -because of the size and condition of their bodies- simply impossible.
 
You are three hundred pounds and you want me to lift you like you were a tiny young man? I am sorry, it sounds as if I am not the man for you. I don't think I can fulfill your expectation.
 
I will not go see someone who I think I might disappoint. If someone wants something that I am not confident I can provide, I will be clear about it and will suggest I am not the right man for the job. I will explain my point and I will offer options, but I will be very happy not to have brought into a situation where the only outcome is failure.
 
Now... let's not talk about me. Let's not talk about those other escorts who will be thrilled about seeing anyone. Let's talk about the other ones...
 
If I am insecure about the way I look, whether it is justified or not, if I feel ashamed that I am fat, for example and I show up at an escort's door just to have that escort close the door on my face because I am fat, or worse, have the escort take my money while he does absolutely nothing for me... that would make me so much unhappier and more insecure.
 
Why not give the escort every chance to reject me beforehand to avoid the much harsher possibility of being rejected in person or being taken for a ride?
 
ALWAYS GIVE THE NECESSARY INFORMATION. Not for your escort. For yourself.
 
You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to have someone who understands your expectations clearly.

Yes.
 
Every time.
 
It's not whether I am a saint or not or whether a good escort should like everyone. It's not that I need to be "warned", I just need all necessary information.
 
When I say yes attraction has nothing to do with my answer. Yes, you should always share your expectations before meeting and yes, you should always share information about you that might hinder the fulfillment of those expectations.
 
There's tons of wonderfully fun things one can do with a lover who is even morbidly obese and clean, but because of simple physics there are things that are just not possible.
 
I was once hired by a guy who weighed possibly two and a half times my weight. He was really handsome and I thought the session was going well. At some point, after adjusting heights and angles, finally I was able to fuck him. As soon as I was inside him, he jerked at my arms frantically demanding that I lifted him with my dick and fucked him against the wall the way he had seen in a porn movie.
 
This is not an exaggeration. And as much as this case was extreme, it is quite common for people not in touch with their bodies to demand things are -because of the size and condition of their bodies- simply impossible.
 
You are three hundred pounds and you want me to lift you like you were a tiny young man? I am sorry, it sounds as if I am not the man for you. I don't think I can fulfill your expectation.
 
I will not go see someone who I think I might disappoint. If someone wants something that I am not confident I can provide, I will be clear about it and will suggest I am not the right man for the job. I will explain my point and I will offer options, but I will be very happy not to have brought into a situation where the only outcome is failure.
 
Now... let's not talk about me. Let's not talk about those other escorts who will be thrilled about seeing anyone. Let's talk about the other ones...
 
If I am insecure about the way I look, whether it is justified or not, if I feel ashamed that I am fat, for example and I show up at an escort's door just to have that escort close the door on my face because I am fat, or worse, have the escort take my money while he does absolutely nothing for me... that would make me so much unhappier and more insecure.
 
Why not give the escort every chance to reject me beforehand to avoid the much harsher possibility of being rejected in person or being taken for a ride?
 
ALWAYS GIVE THE NECESSARY INFORMATION. Not for your escort. For yourself.
 
You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be treated with respect, and you deserve to have someone who understands your expectations clearly.