Drained Empty

Do you know if there are any other threads on him?

This is exactly why I state my race before I meet with anyone (even a masseur). Let's face it, many guys aren't into Asians. Or actively "do not like" them, as Tasso wrote.
 
It could be for many reasons; people may presume we have small dicks, are effeminate, are super clingy or desperate, etc.
 
Despite been on the receiving end of these macro- (a white guy literally put his hand in my face, several have given me fake, far away addresses) and micro-aggrsssions (a disapproving "look" -- you know it when you see it) for years, every rejection still stabs, so I avoid it when possible.
 

 
I assume you mean the "they" in "they don't do so well on Grindr" are Asian. See above. Asians are pretty much the lowest rung in the gay hierarchy, with possibly SE Asians below. And because of that, providers may charge extra.
 
I'm in Silicon Valley regularly, and can tell you Asians and SE Asians are the overwhelming majority in some areas. This is reflected on Grindr. So if you are a white (or latin) provider you are seen as extra desirable (as most Asians aren't into other Asians as well) and can set rates accordingly. Also, keep in mind incomes are higher there as well.
 
It's a unique plight gay Asians face (i.e. I doubt any of you have ever received a message asking if you're into your own race) but I don't want to wallow in it too much in this thread. I actually got banned for "playing the race card" before when I was just explaining my unique situation.

It's the way that white men act.
 
They are in a position of power. They are they alphas. They are the gay elite. White men are what are epitomized. They make the rules.
 
So if attractive white men say "no Asians," that becomes a prevalent attitude. Take my biracial Filipino friend that I mentioned above. He downright denounces Asians because that thinking is so engrained. He used to try to pass (like Darren Criss) as white or latin.
 
Nothing exemplifies this privilege more that Korean spas. We have a lot of them in LA. What was a venue for Asian men/families to bathe and relax have become gay bathhouses for white men. These white men have completely taken them over, glaring and scoffing at Korean patrons. Then if a Korean patron complains, I have witnessed white guys walk out on them, close doors in their face, etc.
 
I don't disagree that everyone has preferences and prejudices. It's how you act on them.

SF is definitely more Cantonese speaking.
 
Actually, I find most Western enclaves of Chinese people -- San Francisco, San Jose, Vancouver, even Houston -- to be Cantonese speaking.
 
And everywhere in between, as well. For example, if you enter a Chinese restaurant, you probably can't go wrong greeting and ordering in Cantonese, those many will understand Mandarin.

An Asian doctor (Dr. Ho) pioneered HIV research that so many gay men owe their lives to.
 
As you pointed out, Asian engineers work on the technologies that allow us to post on these devices and boards.
 
Hell, even Asian investors own Grindr.
 
And I can't tell you how many white guys use Korean spas sporting their Chinese calligraphy tattoos. But if an Asian enters the room, it's clear the decks.

It's the way that white men act.
 
They are in a position of power. They are they alphas. They are the gay elite. White men are what are epitomized. They make the rules.
 
So if attractive white men say "no Asians," that becomes a prevalent attitude. Take my biracial Filipino friend that I mentioned above. He downright denounces Asians because that thinking is so engrained. He used to try to pass (like Darren Criss) as white or latin.
 
Nothing exemplifies this privilege more that Korean spas. We have a lot of them in LA. What was a venue for Asian men/families to bathe and relax have become gay bathhouses for white men. These white men have completely taken them over, glaring and scoffing at Korean patrons. Then if a Korean patron complains, I have witnessed white guys walk out on them, close doors in their face, etc.
 
I don't disagree that everyone has preferences and prejudices. It's how you act on them.

There's no definitive line between "preference" and "racism," but here's how I differentiate.
 
For me (and others), preference isn't exclusionary. While I personally may prefer white or black men, I'm open to Latin and Asian men.
 
Racism is exclusionary. It may be overt ("no Asians" advisories in profiles, or providers turning you down after they learn your race). I have been in a steam room obscured by steam and overhead white guys complaining about "too many Asians." Likewise, when the steam clears and they see me, they get up and leave. They didn't do it before the entire time I was sitting there. They don't do it to white patrons even though they may be out of shape, older, and other qualities seen as "undesirable." The only difference? Race.
 
Many white gays say, "I don't want to have sex with women, does that make me sexist?" No, it doesn't make one sexist. But it's how one acts. Guys don't write "no eggs" (or whatever dehumanizing equivalent to "no rice" is). If a woman approaches a man in a bar, he doesn't stick his hand in her face to ward her off. And guys don't glare, roll their eyes, or leave when women enter their space.
 
The worst part is, after experiencing these behaviors, many Asians internalize them. It may be because of male beauty standards, it may be wanting to fit in with white culture. I'll never forget when I went to a bar with a biracial Asian friend and he said, "ew, Asian guys." What does he think about me? What does he think about himself? The self-loathing is the saddest part.
 
And the justification is just as bad. A story recently made rounds about a Filipino guy on a dating show. Two Asian girls turned him down immediately. The reason they gave? They don't want people to think they're dating their brother. Wtf. No one ever thinks this. They're just self-loathing racists. No white person would ever think this, let alone say it.
 
On the flip side, no white person has to deal with being harrassed for their preferences. On my dating profiles I state the preference I did above. I have had multiple Asian guys attack me, threaten me, and worse. If I can find a way to post these messages you would be appalled. If I were a woman and received these threats I'd report the sender to police.
 
Again, an experience unique to Asians. At least I think they are.

Who said that it’s okay to be racist against white people?
 
Seriously how often do you see someone post “no blacks or “no Asians” versus “no whites”. How are blanket statements like that NOT racist?
 
White privilege is no where more prevalent than in the gay community.

An Asian doctor (Dr. Ho) pioneered HIV research that so many gay men owe their lives to.
 
As you pointed out, Asian engineers work on the technologies that allow us to post on these devices and boards.
 
Hell, even Asian investors own Grindr.
 
And I can't tell you how many white guys use Korean spas sporting their Chinese calligraphy tattoos. But if an Asian enters the room, it's clear the decks.

There's no definitive line between "preference" and "racism," but here's how I differentiate.
 
For me (and others), preference isn't exclusionary. While I personally may prefer white or black men, I'm open to Latin and Asian men.
 
Racism is exclusionary. It may be overt ("no Asians" advisories in profiles, or providers turning you down after they learn your race). I have been in a steam room obscured by steam and overhead white guys complaining about "too many Asians." Likewise, when the steam clears and they see me, they get up and leave. They didn't do it before the entire time I was sitting there. They don't do it to white patrons even though they may be out of shape, older, and other qualities seen as "undesirable." The only difference? Race.
 
Many white gays say, "I don't want to have sex with women, does that make me sexist?" No, it doesn't make one sexist. But it's how one acts. Guys don't write "no eggs" (or whatever dehumanizing equivalent to "no rice" is). If a woman approaches a man in a bar, he doesn't stick his hand in her face to ward her off. And guys don't glare, roll their eyes, or leave when women enter their space.
 
The worst part is, after experiencing these behaviors, many Asians internalize them. It may be because of male beauty standards, it may be wanting to fit in with white culture. I'll never forget when I went to a bar with a biracial Asian friend and he said, "ew, Asian guys." What does he think about me? What does he think about himself? The self-loathing is the saddest part.
 
And the justification is just as bad. A story recently made rounds about a Filipino guy on a dating show. Two Asian girls turned him down immediately. The reason they gave? They don't want people to think they're dating their brother. Wtf. No one ever thinks this. They're just self-loathing racists. No white person would ever think this, let alone say it.
 
On the flip side, no white person has to deal with being harrassed for their preferences. On my dating profiles I state the preference I did above. I have had multiple Asian guys attack me, threaten me, and worse. If I can find a way to post these messages you would be appalled. If I were a woman and received these threats I'd report the sender to police.
 
Again, an experience unique to Asians. At least I think they are.

It's the way that white men act.
 
They are in a position of power. They are they alphas. They are the gay elite. White men are what are epitomized. They make the rules.
 
So if attractive white men say "no Asians," that becomes a prevalent attitude. Take my biracial Filipino friend that I mentioned above. He downright denounces Asians because that thinking is so engrained. He used to try to pass (like Darren Criss) as white or latin.
 
Nothing exemplifies this privilege more that Korean spas. We have a lot of them in LA. What was a venue for Asian men/families to bathe and relax have become gay bathhouses for white men. These white men have completely taken them over, glaring and scoffing at Korean patrons. Then if a Korean patron complains, I have witnessed white guys walk out on them, close doors in their face, etc.
 
I don't disagree that everyone has preferences and prejudices. It's how you act on them.

An Asian doctor (Dr. Ho) pioneered HIV research that so many gay men owe their lives to.
 
As you pointed out, Asian engineers work on the technologies that allow us to post on these devices and boards.
 
Hell, even Asian investors own Grindr.
 
And I can't tell you how many white guys use Korean spas sporting their Chinese calligraphy tattoos. But if an Asian enters the room, it's clear the decks.

SF is definitely more Cantonese speaking.
 
Actually, I find most Western enclaves of Chinese people -- San Francisco, San Jose, Vancouver, even Houston -- to be Cantonese speaking.
 
And everywhere in between, as well. For example, if you enter a Chinese restaurant, you probably can't go wrong greeting and ordering in Cantonese, those many will understand Mandarin.

This is exactly why I state my race before I meet with anyone (even a masseur). Let's face it, many guys aren't into Asians. Or actively "do not like" them, as Tasso wrote.
 
It could be for many reasons; people may presume we have small dicks, are effeminate, are super clingy or desperate, etc.
 
Despite been on the receiving end of these macro- (a white guy literally put his hand in my face, several have given me fake, far away addresses) and micro-aggrsssions (a disapproving "look" -- you know it when you see it) for years, every rejection still stabs, so I avoid it when possible.
 

 
I assume you mean the "they" in "they don't do so well on Grindr" are Asian. See above. Asians are pretty much the lowest rung in the gay hierarchy, with possibly SE Asians below. And because of that, providers may charge extra.
 
I'm in Silicon Valley regularly, and can tell you Asians and SE Asians are the overwhelming majority in some areas. This is reflected on Grindr. So if you are a white (or latin) provider you are seen as extra desirable (as most Asians aren't into other Asians as well) and can set rates accordingly. Also, keep in mind incomes are higher there as well.
 
It's a unique plight gay Asians face (i.e. I doubt any of you have ever received a message asking if you're into your own race) but I don't want to wallow in it too much in this thread. I actually got banned for "playing the race card" before when I was just explaining my unique situation.

This is exactly why I state my race before I meet with anyone (even a masseur). Let's face it, many guys aren't into Asians. Or actively "do not like" them, as Tasso wrote.
 
It could be for many reasons; people may presume we have small dicks, are effeminate, are super clingy or desperate, etc.
 
Despite been on the receiving end of these macro- (a white guy literally put his hand in my face, several have given me fake, far away addresses) and micro-aggrsssions (a disapproving "look" -- you know it when you see it) for years, every rejection still stabs, so I avoid it when possible.
 

 
I assume you mean the "they" in "they don't do so well on Grindr" are Asian. See above. Asians are pretty much the lowest rung in the gay hierarchy, with possibly SE Asians below. And because of that, providers may charge extra.
 
I'm in Silicon Valley regularly, and can tell you Asians and SE Asians are the overwhelming majority in some areas. This is reflected on Grindr. So if you are a white (or latin) provider you are seen as extra desirable (as most Asians aren't into other Asians as well) and can set rates accordingly. Also, keep in mind incomes are higher there as well.
 
It's a unique plight gay Asians face (i.e. I doubt any of you have ever received a message asking if you're into your own race) but I don't want to wallow in it too much in this thread. I actually got banned for "playing the race card" before when I was just explaining my unique situation.

This is exactly why I state my race before I meet with anyone (even a masseur). Let's face it, many guys aren't into Asians. Or actively "do not like" them, as Tasso wrote.
 
It could be for many reasons; people may presume we have small dicks, are effeminate, are super clingy or desperate, etc.
 
Despite been on the receiving end of these macro- (a white guy literally put his hand in my face, several have given me fake, far away addresses) and micro-aggrsssions (a disapproving "look" -- you know it when you see it) for years, every rejection still stabs, so I avoid it when possible.
 

 
I assume you mean the "they" in "they don't do so well on Grindr" are Asian. See above. Asians are pretty much the lowest rung in the gay hierarchy, with possibly SE Asians below. And because of that, providers may charge extra.
 
I'm in Silicon Valley regularly, and can tell you Asians and SE Asians are the overwhelming majority in some areas. This is reflected on Grindr. So if you are a white (or latin) provider you are seen as extra desirable (as most Asians aren't into other Asians as well) and can set rates accordingly. Also, keep in mind incomes are higher there as well.
 
It's a unique plight gay Asians face (i.e. I doubt any of you have ever received a message asking if you're into your own race) but I don't want to wallow in it too much in this thread. I actually got banned for "playing the race card" before when I was just explaining my unique situation.

This is exactly why I state my race before I meet with anyone (even a masseur). Let's face it, many guys aren't into Asians. Or actively "do not like" them, as Tasso wrote.
 
It could be for many reasons; people may presume we have small dicks, are effeminate, are super clingy or desperate, etc.
 
Despite been on the receiving end of these macro- (a white guy literally put his hand in my face, several have given me fake, far away addresses) and micro-aggrsssions (a disapproving "look" -- you know it when you see it) for years, every rejection still stabs, so I avoid it when possible.
 

 
I assume you mean the "they" in "they don't do so well on Grindr" are Asian. See above. Asians are pretty much the lowest rung in the gay hierarchy, with possibly SE Asians below. And because of that, providers may charge extra.
 
I'm in Silicon Valley regularly, and can tell you Asians and SE Asians are the overwhelming majority in some areas. This is reflected on Grindr. So if you are a white (or latin) provider you are seen as extra desirable (as most Asians aren't into other Asians as well) and can set rates accordingly. Also, keep in mind incomes are higher there as well.
 
It's a unique plight gay Asians face (i.e. I doubt any of you have ever received a message asking if you're into your own race) but I don't want to wallow in it too much in this thread. I actually got banned for "playing the race card" before when I was just explaining my unique situation.

Many months ago I forgot to check this board before reaching out to joshsoccer_guy.
 
I texted him and he said he claimed to be a bartender at a hotel.
 
He was really shady so I stopped texting.
 
Hours later he contacted me from another phone pretending to be another provider, Paul. More fake pics were sent.
 
I know it was Josh because he was the ONLY person I contacted. No others. Stay away.

They have very small tables. I would recommend dining out. The neighborhood is not great -- homeless people often wander in asking for money. I'd grab to-go, drive to a park or the Moscone Center, and enjoy your meal there.

They have very small tables. I would recommend dining out. The neighborhood is not great -- homeless people often wander in asking for money. I'd grab to-go, drive to a park or the Moscone Center, and enjoy your meal there.

There's a place -- Tu Lan in the Tenderloin -- infamous for it's good, relatively inexpensive Vietnamese dishes. I'm not sure it serves pho but it has really good rice dishes and salads.
 
I think Julia Child loved it.
 
Neighborhood is not safe at night but ok during the day.

These bullies are often self aggrandizing types that always need to get the last word in.
 
Their tactic is to send you a string of nasty PMs, then declare they are ignoring you as one final jab (and self aggrandizing move).
 
Unfortunately, there isn't a big valley between criticism and harrassment, only a thin line.

Dude, I'm just sharing my experience.
 
It takes minimal observation skills to see who is walked out on: Asians, older guys, heavyset guys. A few months ago I pointed it out to a very attractive white/latino guy. We actually put a wager on how many times I would clear a room. Suffice to say I won and his eyes were opened.
 
For the record, I absolutely, unequivocally know many of these guys are racist. That's because I had a super hot white friend hit them up on Grindr and ask them. You'd be surprised how honest (and racist) some white guys are when they think they're talking to another white guy.
 
Of course, I'm not everyone's type. And I know some people are just rude. But there are a ton of racists out there. For the record, I didn't start this thread nor bring up race first. And another poster started the Wilshire spa thread and said the same thing.
 
So no, it's not just in my head. And yes, it is a recurring theme.
 
Maybe you'll get some perspective if you watch the first Kindr Grindr episode where minorities talk about how they face micro and macro aggressions in every day situations. Yes, even going to a spa meant for minorities.

Dude, I'm just sharing my experience.
 
It takes minimal observation skills to see who is walked out on: Asians, older guys, heavyset guys. A few months ago I pointed it out to a very attractive white/latino guy. We actually put a wager on how many times I would clear a room. Suffice to say I won and his eyes were opened.
 
For the record, I absolutely, unequivocally know many of these guys are racist. That's because I had a super hot white friend hit them up on Grindr and ask them. You'd be surprised how honest (and racist) some white guys are when they think they're talking to another white guy.
 
Of course, I'm not everyone's type. And I know some people are just rude. But there are a ton of racists out there. For the record, I didn't start this thread nor bring up race first. And another poster started the Wilshire spa thread and said the same thing.
 
So no, it's not just in my head. And yes, it is a recurring theme.
 
Maybe you'll get some perspective if you watch the first Kindr Grindr episode where minorities talk about how they face micro and macro aggressions in every day situations. Yes, even going to a spa meant for minorities.

Actually I did watch that Grindr short. Along with latest one (body/age shaming?)
My apologies if I sounded insincere.