I'm also a "planner".
The worst response I've had is "can you contact me closer"?
If I make contact 1+ week before I'll usually say "I know it's early" and close with "I'll txt you a few days before to confirm".
Better a planner than a time waster
If you are not using VPN or TOR browser, suggest you start....your location and browsing habits then become anonymous and you would be able to reach sites regardless of their location.
Probably cheaper to rent a hotel room downtown and treat yourself to a "night on the town" (VS paying for travel time etc). You can get some good last-minute deals on hotwire and other sites.
Steve I had a few experiences like this, as a result have started to more research before engaging. Much info can be gathered here esp by PM'ing other members. Agree with @nycman recommendations above. Don't quit, refine your game.