MaybeMaybeNot

I had a difficult relationship with my dad, and for many years, I thought that it made me gay. My father was severely depressed, lazy, and, to be honest, not too bright. The result was, I grew up thinking he hated me. After he got on anti-depressants (when I was 21), our relationship improved, though it fell apart again after my parents divorce (partially because of how my mom handled the divorce and partially because my dad used me to get money to buy things for his trashy new girlfriend . . . at a time in my life when I was very bad off financially). Our relationship never fully recovered after that. After his trashy girlfriend used him for everything she could get, my dad came back into the picture. It took me a while before I would see him, and our relationship was never the same. My dad was homophobic and would talk about "fags" and didn't believe in gay rights (marriage, military), but when my sister was convinced that I would come out, she prepped him for it, and he actually had the conversation with me in my thirties that it would be okay if I was gay. Soon after that, he'd make homophobic comments, but I always knew that he would support me being gay. I knew he would would have a hard time with it, but ultimately, he would say he just wanted me to be happy My dad would always puff himself up because he was proud of his kids, and I knew it was partly because it made him look good. The day we learned my dad was going on hospice, I sat in the hospital talking to him. For the first time, he acknowledged in strong language that he was a bad father. I couldn't bring myself to contradict him, just to say, "Well, we all turned out okay." But through his admission, I was able to get over some of the pain of the past. Although I had forgiven him, I hadn't allowed myself to get close to him because I didn't want to be close and because I didn't want to get hurt again. He would later explain that he didn't spend as much time with me as he did my siblings only because he had more in common with them. That never bothered me, to be honest, because I spent so much of my life not wanting to spend too much time with him. When he was on hospice, I made some huge sacrifices for him. When we ultimately had to move him into a nursing home, I was the one visiting him 4-6 times a week and grieving that I couldn't have him at home with me (he couldn't be left alone). For much of that time, my siblings, who were much closer to him, were pretty much MIA. I came to love my dad, not how I would have wanted to love my dad, but with compassion and genuine love and concern for him. I'm not totally sure why. I didn't come out to myself until years after both my parents (and one of my siblings) passed. I loved my dad, but it's my mom for whom I still grieve daily.

Well, that explains it. We had a bird's nest and you had a crow's nest! Seriously, though, perhaps the rigging didn't work out that day or that week. I didn't mention that I have the cast recording and am always moved when I listen to it. I've read the book of the show (which was published and I own), and I love the show, despite the limitations I experienced on tour. I saw a really bad community theater production years ago, with some of the parts cut (probably because they didn't have the actors for it). I would love to see another strong production of "Titanic" somewhere.

I think it is as remembered as other shows of its era. We live in a day and age where musicals are remembered mostly once they've had a movie adaptation. Perhaps it was always that way; we just have much fewer movie adaptations now. I saw the show on your. Unfortunately, for my venue, the sound was poor, and you couldn't always make out what the basses and baritones were singing. I also echo the tour staging comment above. I remember being confused why there was a sailor standing at the edge of the stage. Looking at the souvenir program, I realized they had nixed the bird's nest/lookout.

New York City is perfect for solo travel. Lots to do and lots of shows to see (under normal circumstances) and you don't have to compromise! Road trips can also be fun.

I think Austin Peck's pecs were my first crush.

Here is a handy video about it:

There's a guy I chat with online who has taken Covid very seriously. He literally saw no one, even socially, during quarantine. He started to have sex with a few guys, quizzing them on mask-wearing, social isolation practices, and hand-washing. He asked if they worked alone or in groups. The only guy he kissed was one who had been tested. When I drove across the country to visit family and then drove home, I had not cum in over 3 1/2 weeks. I took a play out of his book and began looking for someone in a small county on my way back, a county with very low Covid numbers. I found one guy who seemed perfect. He even had a farm where we could be outside, I could sit back, spread my legs, and get some relief. As I was about to seal the deal, I asked more about his work. He worked in a factory. I had to turn him down because he worked with large groups of people. When I stopped for a quick drive-through lunch in one town, a greeting popped up on Scruff. I found a guy who was taking all the precautions and headed over to his garage. No kissing, I kept my mask on, and I was literally weak in the knees after shooting a big load. I regretted it afterwards, but all was fine. I am not saying I recommend these steps, but that's what I did and how I came up with the plan.

Friday nights have been difficult for me lately. I wish we could stream the AMAs later on.

I would definitely say it must have been an off night. George gives awesome lap dances and seems very popular.

He did an interview for the Talk About Gay Sex podcast. So charming. https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/talk-about-gay-sex/e/76332743

@Coolwave35 Is this an invite we can use after the pandemic? ?

I know someone who worked on the show and despises her. I always thought it was because maybe she didn't feel Ellen represented her as a Lesbian. When I see her next, I will ask her. Truthfully, there are many celebrities who are not great people in person.

I am very concerned, Coolwave. You could be making a significant faux pas that will leave you blackballed from the younger muscular society. After Covid has passed, I had better come to one of these parties to properly assess and consult. You know, just to be on the safe side.

Anyone know how Black's Beach is these days?

I am really appreciating reading everyone's comments. I come on this board feeling like the inexperienced, naive youngster in awe of all of you who have such exciting experiences with these attractive guys. I am not young, but I have never lived my life choosing careers that paid me well for my education and ability. Perhaps I should change my perspective; perhaps hiring isn't just for those pulling in the big bucks.

That's awesome. I wonder if Matt was there. Did that seem awkward between them?

Good for you and good for them. Whatever you paid, I'm sure they needed it. As Dolly Levi would say, "Money, excuse the expression, is like manure . . ." I would also be interested in knowing how things changed for you.

Definitely Jean Claude Can Damme and Ah-nold, then it was Austin Peck. I would fantasize about seeing Arnold's pecs in person. I also loved catching a glimpse of Brian Keith"s hairy chest in The Parent Trap.

I just returned from a road trip with a friend who booked us one night in Vegas to access a cheap hotel. I had never been to Vegas before. I did not feel super comfortable (as someone taking lots of precautions). I didn't spend much time on the casino floor but had to go through there a few times. Most people were not wearing masks, I would say. We had to go up to the 25th floor for our room, and twice we hurriedly jumped out of the elevator when unmasked people tried to join us (even though the big signs told them not to). The hotel was being kept at 30% capacity. Parking was free. Some people were social distancing in line to check in, others (including the people behind us) were not, despite markers on the floor. They did a temperature scan before getting in line to check in at the hotel, but there was no scan for everyone coming in. Here, and elsewhere, I see no attempts by anyone to cover their coughs. Everyone stands in front of the exit door smoking and coughing. Gross.

I was only able to watch about 10 minutes of the AMA on Friday when George was on. Did I hear he had been in prison? I would love to hear more of what he said about it or any other interesting personal details, if anyone can share.

I'm newly out to myself, and I find this baffling. I hooked up with a really nice guy before Covid. He offered to be friends, and we talked about what we had in common that we liked to do. When I left, he sent me home with some very delicious peanut butter cookies. When I've messaged him after to check in, no reference to sex in sight, he only sometimes replies, and it is half-heartedly. I am not pursuing anything. I've met guys in bars, made out, and had the same disappearing act after some he expressed an intense desire to stay in touch. In the meantime, the guy that started out as a hook up and sort of has become a meaningful relationship would rather have sex with others than with me. If you spent so many years pursuing sex with dozens of men, it's hard to be satisfied with just one, I guess. But for me, it weakens the connection.

Yeah, I do it 2-3 times a day. It's become a part-time job. I'm trying to cut down so I have more time to do other things.

In my high school, the jocks changed in the sports teams' locker room. Nobody showered. There was one semester, though, where three upperclassmen were in a class, changing at the same time as us. What I remember was them talking about prom night (or was it homecoming), how one guy's parents were getting him a room (?), and how another guy was planning on doing it the weekend before. I enjoyed their talk of sex. In ninth grade, I began my fascination with pecs. I had a gym teacher who clearly had a defined set pushing into his t-shirts. After skiing one day, I saw him in his tightey whiteys, changing his clothes. He had stripped down entirely and was sitting down, either putting pants on or taking them off. I saw the pecs! But we made eye contact, and I felt bad. After college, I would return to campus to use the workout facilities. I was very shy, very closeted. This is a very conservative college, very, filled with hot guys with the heart of Sunday School teachers or missionaries. At one point, the football team was walking into the facility and into their locker room. I heard one guy call out, "Oka guys, time to get naked." It was so hot to hear, and I envied their ability to spend time together casually naked.

I don't have a lot of money, I grew up below the poverty line (I come on here to enjoy other people's stories of hiring), and I have spent my life working so hard at 60-100 hour work weeks (except for a period of 9 years when I had a sensible job) and have very little to show for it, so I don't feel like I have benefitted financially from the suppression of African-American people. Yet, the little I can do is that I tip my African-American servers more than other servers. It's not much, but it's a sacrifice for me. It's my way of saying, "I'm sorry. I see you. I respect you." I encourage others to do the same. We can all do something to make this world a better place. (I never tell anyone this. I post it here anonymously as an encouragement to others.)

My friend works in a nursing home, and Covid-19 has broken out. She is home sick with it now, and I am really worried. The director didn't do enough to protect the residents or the staff. It started because they admitted a new resident who tested negative but was positive. Nobody even appropriately assessed her to realize she was not a good fit for the nursing hom. She left after three days, but now it's spreading. One nurse went into a positive patient's room without PPE. Another nurse told an aid to report to work even though she was coughing because she didn't give enough notice (of course, no one wakes up extra early in case they wake up with Covid-19). The aid hung up on her. These nursing homes need to realize that five open beds is not worse than 35 when your residents are wiped out. I would apply pressure on administration if I had a family member in such a facility and could not take them home with me. Nobody makes good decisions when their top priority is money.