glennnn

This just happened, 3 minutes ago.
 
It's just one of those absurd life experiences that cracked me up. Ya probably had to be there, but I'll share anyway - my Friday Funny.
 
I'm perusing these forums. Thinking about the obvious subject matters. My home landline phone rings, caller ID = Verizon. I answer. Computer-generated voice.
 
"You have one message from call for dick service. Press one to listen."
 
What? WTF?!? And on my landline, never used for anything remotely related? My mind races.... how the hell did this happen? I haven't contacted anyone in a day or two.... did i mistakenly give out my home #? Did my cell or email somehow reveal home info?
 
I press 1.
 
I need to listen twice to reach the Ah-hah moment.
 
I'm doing a home repair project. Involves new electrical service. A trench is required, and being responsible, I initiated the check for buried utilities before you dig service.
 
It wasn't a call for dick.... it was call before dig.
 
Might not translate to print or in the telling, but it cracked me up

Just to be serious for a moment, never, ever, stick anything glass up your ass, especially a light bulb.
 
Kevin Slater

Thank you, Moondance! Absolutely delicious.

Having balls is like having two brains hanging between your legs and each has a steering wheel that steers the big brain up above. One of those little fuckers is dying to crash into the nearest sex-tree at any moment. When the topic is already sex, they kick back, relax and give the upper, big brain a few moments of control. The big brain is dufus and can't function without the guidance of the scrotum brains. It's a wonder men get anything except fucking done.

About six visits to two different urologists and I learn more from you guys in one thread than I did from them. I have an appointment soon with a new doctor recommended here. He's reputed to be gay friendly and has a very high patient satisfaction score. I just want him to give me the time, attention and possible answers that I get here. My sincere thanks to you all. Drinks on me in PS in April!

It was with one or more fingers as well as his cock, and it went on for quite a while and equisitely set me up for the biggest cum shot I'd had in years while he was cumming in my mouth. I'm going to take your advice and work on anal orgasm.
 
You guys are so wonderful to offer your advice and suggestions. I figure I have a few years of gay sex left after recently coming out and I so much want to make the most of them in spite of my aging body. With you and the who's who of amazing escorts who have taught, nutured, and made love to me, I am determined to overcome BPH and ED (fucking alphabet), and claim the men-loving-men heritage I have been missing all of my life. Thank you!

The best new sex activity I've learned on this Forum and now love is rimming! Don't be a neophyte. Practice, practice, practice and be a pro!!

Kow, when my tongue gets tired I also use my chin,.....or my finger.......or my cock......or a billard cue......or ? I love rimming. The great thing is it works even if one of you has ED! There's no way limit for rimming!
 
Marylander and funguy.... thank you both. I'm exhausted and have blue balls!

I make it #1 or #6.

With a bit of luck the airlines (not just United, but all of them) will have come to the conclusion that the time for involuntary denial of passage ends when the customer steps onto the aeroplane. By all means deny boarding before then, but thereafter it should only be voluntary, however much that costs them. If they haven't worked out that they need the seats before the pax board, too bad.

I have an escort in LA that I see fairly regularly who literally gets off by having his pits eaten. It's very hot and I get off, too! PM me if you want more info.

Funny! So do I. Hmmmm?

I'll bet you a quarter they'll soon be an app for that.

We've talked frequently about favorite porn sites. What about pornographic lit? I love the books of Josh Lawson and a few others, surprisingly, many that are female. Do you read porn? Do you prefer a well developed storyline or are you more in to gay erotica? I like both depending on whether I'm looking for entertainment or jack off material. One lack I find in many gay novels is a detailed descriptions of the cocks of the characters, such as smooth, veiny, cut, intact, lots of skin, dark or light, mushroom head, a mouthful or more, etc. The female authors in particular describe the hero's face in great detail, but simply say, "thick", when getting down to cases. LOL!

I agree 100% with your Sean Cody choices. I especially appreciate your inclusion of Blake, who is my single all time fav. I don't know of any performer who enjoys sex more than he does, especially being fucked. He makes me cum just watching him bottoming. I would add realative newcomer Shaw to my list. He looks like he should be a top, but is an amazingly expressive bottom. I find it very hot that such a big guy submits to some much smaller tops.

Sex on a budget does not allow such extravagances and if I could spare the cash, I would opt for a three way or 2 hours with someone else.

No one. Not as long as there are Gentlemen like Tristan Baldwin, and Mike Gaite who provide stellar services at a far more rational rate.

Il dottore encyclopedic says listen very closely: Magic is not for all. I happened to discover it 15-20 years ago, introduced after my barber dissolved into fits laughter, no really gales of laughter after I revealed to him that i had waxed my back for a trip to Hawaii. He shook his finger at me, looked around, and whispered conspiratorially, (think "Rosebud"): M A G I CCCCCCCC.
 
After my back had sprung back to life, I tried just a small area, it worked without irritation, and the rest is history. I use the cream which has aloe included in the mixture, I use it about every 4-6 weeks, leave on my skin about 7+ minutes (directions say ~ 4 min) and then wash it off - yes, using a cloth - (preferably with the same someone who has rubbed it on my back). I make sure everywhere I want it gets it and I am baby smooth in all off those areas.
 
When i had my first back surgery (done thru the FRONT of course), I went into the hospital as smooth as a baby's butt from my abds down, down, and down - no problems for when they put the catheter in .
 
For some first time users who are very hairy, when it grows back, it might be a bit itchy in certain areas but usually not. The hair comes in silky smooth.
 
Good luck all of you adventurous souls!

This version is readily available locally... It's inexpensive enough to give it a shot... but I don't want any appendages to dissolve in the process as it is the extra strength version.
 

Funny! So do I. Hmmmm?

Years ago a friend of mine explained that he shaved his pubes because he was tired of getting them caught in condoms. That made sense to me.

I'm ok with it totally gone on just a few very special "mature" guys. if on a twink it is a total turn off (but I'm not into twinks to start with.) There are also some mature guys who are light skin, blondish and who don't have much to begin with - they are still a turn on, even if they get rid of what little they have.
I DO like the shaved balls - nice and clean to suck and play with, same with a cleaned up asshole (pardon my French).
I make sure to clean up both of my areas (I use Magic). I do leave the rest in place but trimmed/occasionally a bit modified because I get frequent ingrown hairs and they can be quite painful.

Sometimes the truth is stranger than the Onion...
 
 

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Man who works from home keeps naming his dog ’employee of the quarter’
David Covucci—
Mar 21 at 4:16AM

Image via Madison Reed/Twitter
 
Seems fair.
 

 
If you slept all day, scratched at your office door whenever you needed to take a shit, and ate your lunch off the floor, there’s a pretty good chance you would never be named employee of the month.
 
But over at Accuride, a manufacturing and hardware company, an officemate who does just that has been named “employee of the quarter” for four straight quarters.
 
Meeka, you see, is a dog. Since her owner works from home, she is eligible for the award. And since winning it once, Meeka has yet to relinquish it.
 
Michael Reeg, owner of Meeka and a distribution sales manager with Accuride, spoke with the Dodo after pictures his daughter took of the awards started making the rounds on Twitter. He said that the award really is merit-based, and that Meeka pulls her weight at the office.
 
“There are times that I’ll even talk to her as I work through a problem or map out a customer solution,” Reeg said. “I try out my sales pitches and presentations on her. She’s not easily impressed or swayed. All she hears is ‘blah, blah, blah, Meeka’—but she likes to hear my voice and I love that she pays attention. Having her in my office all day is something that we both look forward to.”
 
 
Accuride is also onboard with Meeka’s eligibility and winning streak, according to a spokesperson: “Meeka is an outstanding support to Michael and his work. Dogs are the best.”
 
Yes. We should replace all our human coworkers with dogs.
 
......
 
 
Gman