Reluctant Daddy

If you spend $200-$300 per hour on a rentboy, the $15.95 hamburger or the cost of a hotel room should be of a very, very minor importance.

 

Let's set a date and a venue, and let the cards fall where they may.

I was more concerned with location and finding something near the suggested venue than anything. I’ve found that my ability to navigate isn’t the greatest, and I didn’t want to wander the streets all night trying to find it. I figured taxi and Uber on a Saturday night in the city would be somewhat difficult at best.

With the exception of a quick trip down to see a play 3 years ago, I haven’t actually stayed in the city for well over 10-15 years. Are there decent hotels near the restaurant? Is it within walking distance from Penn Station?

On another note, should the mood strike, is it easy to hire with relatively short notice on a Saturday night?

Leaning towards an Early Saturday evening, that way people that might come into the city can take advantage of its nightlife afterwards. @nycman - target date will be late Feb, early March as I am dealing with several medical issues at the moment that I need to get out of the way. Thats as much steam as I can give it !

And those take top priority. Meet and greet be damned.

If it’s a Saturday or Sunday meet up, I’d be interested.

His 16 Magazine shirtless pic adorned my room.

Ok. This one makes me feel so much better that is not me. Not just me. When he reappears, does he ever offer any kind of explanation; do you request one?

There is an explanation. Initially, it was relevant but it’s really not applicable now.

Well, it seems like it is, for him, a non-committal relationship wherein you see him when you see him. If you're looking to "adjust" aspects of the relationship, then I guess you're not willing to accept it for what it is. So, just telling yourself, "It is what it is," is not going to be helpful

I see him when I see him, and I’m good with that. Because of location and financial considerations, that’s just the way it is. It’s the in between times, simple, personable civil conversation that’s feast or famine. This last exchange had me wondering, who just walks away in the middle of a conversation? Is the exchange of pleasantries that much of a commitment?

Is it possible to accept the relationship for what it is? Just asking.

I guess I'm really unclear as to exactly what it is. Definitely business, at times extremely friendly, at times crickets. I guess I'd like to get a better handle on what it is so that I can adjust either aspect accordingly.

I'm getting ghosted in the Patrick Swayze sense. He disappears, reappears, we make pottery together, then he disappears again. The latest was a series of texts - the last was a question to him about the holidays (a harmless chat) that hasn't been answered in over 2 weeks.

I genuinely like this guy, opened up to him and made myself completely vulnerable. And I'm kicking myself for being so damn stupid. At my age, you'd think I'd know better.

I never had a chance to hire Killian. When I first started hiring and discovered the forum, Killian was always very sweet and kind to me with advice and answers to questions

I have a work email account, a separate personal email account, and an email account (and Google Voice) for Rentmen and related sites. None of them are linked, and I haven’t authorized FB to find contacts from any of those email accounts. The only common thread is that I use my iPad and iPhone for all of the accounts, including FB, and I do have FB messenger on both devices. I’m not sure how to buckle it down any tighter. I’ve also noticed that FB seems to be picking up on search terms on sites I search other than Google, Yahoo, etc. (I searched spondylitis on WebMD and have been getting notices on FB for Laser Spine Institute, etc.)

A federal judge ruled last year that FB can use cookies to track your online activities even after you log out.

Relatively tech stupid, but are cookies tracked when browsing incognito? I browse RM and this site incognito so neither appears in search history.

I have a Facebook account to keep in touch with some old friends, family and some people that do animal rescue.

For the past 6 months or so, I’ve noticed that Facebook has been tracking my shopping/window shopping habits and making suggestions for similar items at different vendors.

I’ve recently been aware that it has been suggesting some escorts in the “people you may know” section. I recognize some faces from Rentmen ads, but these are escorts that I’ve never contacted and don’t have in my contacts (either phone numbers or emails). One in particular is Leo Sweetwood. I’ve never contacted him, don’t follow him in Facebook and I’m pretty sure that he’s not following me, yet I’m getting Facebook notices that say he likes certain posts, he’s posted a response to a post, etc.

This morning, after reading the Palm Springs thread on here, I got a Facebook notice about a realtor selling a home in Palm Springs.

I’ve checked off most of the privacy boxes, yet this has is still happening. Just how far into ones life is Facebook delving?

Hello providers....there's a thread going in the Deli about the need for more variety of providers in Boston. If you are a traveling provide or considering it, put Boston on your list! Certain times of year it's difficult to get a reasonable hotel room, but if you work around those dates you can do well....now/winter is especially affordable. Fairly large population of affluent gay men. Can give advice about areas to stay etc. if you PM me. Plus, Boston is a great city to live/work/visit!

Given the response, I think I need to hire you to promote Albany.

Ouch. I've recently "lost" someone that had become very important to me also. No matter how often it happens, or how much you can justifiably blame yourself for getting attached, it still stings.

Stings like hell, but at the end of the day you have to ask yourself if you really want to spend the time, effort, energy, resources and emotion on someone who obviously thinks so little of you to do this sort of thing.

In a 12 month period, I’ve spent around 10k, most of it one one guy. I take the money I would have spent on cigarettes and those extra Starbucks’s lattes and save it up for those times.

I wanted to take this opportunity to wish the other members of this forum a very Happy Holiday and New Year. And I wish to extend my thanks and gratitude to those members who have been so kind in helping me navigate this complex maze of hiring from the very beginning. I’ve been a bit of a rube with this whole hiring thing, and I’m sorry.

I think that I’m taking a break from this for a while. Because of my location, work and home life, and in some ways my finances, the planning I need to go through to hire puts the Normandy invasion plans to shame. And while I understand the theory and basis behind hiring, I find that I’m less of a “boy toy of the week” kind of guy and drawn more toward finding a regular. I thought that it might be easier than the panic and uncertainty of starting fresh each time I hire. And because of this I find myself with more questions than answers, and more doubt about who and what I am (yes, I’m well aware of the fact that I’m the personification of a 50 car pileup on the interstate - and I’m working on it).

Again, thanks to those forum members who have been there with answers, and thanks to those providers who have been there as caring human beings.

Much joy to you all! ❤️

kennf, I again repeat that not all boys are same and not every boys can gel with a clients friend. Btw escorts are not any trophy or trinklet that we have to show to our friends! Many old guys whether straight or gay want to show that how they can make young , besutiful boys or girls hang with them and somewhere want to be center of attraction! Local escorts who have family, friends, family aquaintainces will refrain from hanging with old client. They don't want to be called as gold diggers or give a slightest hint to others about their activity or get extra attention. Non local or out of country escorts may hang with clients as they don't have much social presence. Also, escorts in thirties or forties may hang out as their association is less suspected. however boys in teens and twenties are very reactive and don't want to face any embarrasing questions posed to them by their friends. If clients pay then they should remember that escorts are human being and are not to make to cater every need of clients. No foubt that escorts have to hang with many clients to whom they may not by physically attracted but still do their work. I think lets be little hunan and consuderate and see things frim their perspective too!

The dinner wasn’t meant to show him off as a trophy, trinket, arm candy, or a “look what I got” prize. My friends happen to be within 2-5 years of his age, and I thought he might enjoy spending some time with them. I have younger friends that I go out with often. And they all know that I hang out with other younger guys for completely non-sexual reasons. I’m interested in the same music, movies and culture they’re interested in, and it’s an opportunity for me to enjoy that connection. Sadly, I’m a young soul trapped in a old man’s body. Peter Pan’s got some serious wrinkles.

I've read your posts here. You seem high maintenance. Maybe it's you, and not them.

If, by high maintenance, you mean that I expected a provider to deliver on the services agreed on and paid for, then yes, by all means consider me extremely high maintenance.

And, others may disagree, but the initial posting came across as a bit 'victim' in tone (for lack of a better word) - everything was the escort's fault in a different situation than previous hires, without before hand communication.

The only different situation from previous hires was that of the dinner with friends. Something that was discussed and agreed upon 3 weeks prior to the actual engagement. I ended up altering my plans with friends and did a fast breakfast with them alone instead.

Sorry, I’m not out to destroy this provider or his reputation. This was a series of events that unfolded for me with him during this particular engagement. It happened, for whatever reason. My original post was to set forth what happened, and to pose a question as to whether I should try to salvage this business relationship or to walk away and call it a lesson learned.

In my very short time of hiring, I’ve learned that being thorough and discussing expectations is certainly not a guarantee of delivery.

Happy hunting, RD!

Unfortunately, this whole episode has pretty much soured me on hiring again.

I believe that he may have seen this post, and has been discussing it with others. If that is correct, he hasn’t reached out to me to discuss it and probably not be interested in continuing the hiring arrangement. And if that is the case, it’s time to close this chapter in my life. If he reads this last post from me on this, I want him to know that I had a lot of fun and happy times with him, I have no ill feeling toward him, and that I wish him well. His presence in my life will be sadly missed

I had fun kid. Thanks

The other question is was this your first "extended" session with him? That could really be the issue. Most people can do anything for an hour or two, but keeping up the facade for a day or more takes a certain type of person.

I've had prior extended sessions with him, which makes it all the more puzzling.

He lacks professionalism.

But he hasn't in the past with me. I'm trying to wrap my head around why things happened they way they did. If there was something personal going on with him that impacted the session, if he's just tired of me as a client, etc. It was a departure from previous sessions I've had with him. And I wanted opinions from more seasoned clients on whether they would try to salvage the relationship or just walk away from it.

I know communication is key, but I'm terrible with it. Will it come off as whiny, will I sound like a butthurt bitter client? Does it even matter at this stage of the game?

Bad sex aside when you wanted him to go to dinner and meet your friends was he still on the clock or was this to be on his own time?

The sex as a whole wasn’t bad. The whole bottoming issue was the problem for me. As for dinner, he was on the clock at the time.