“Slower than molasses running uphill in the winter”
Things don’t get much slower than molasses. Uphill in winter? You get the picture.
(My mother would hit me with this after she asked me to do something I didn't want to do.)
“All hat no cattle”
Imagine the would-be ranching magnate, flush with cash earned elsewhere, who blows into town with a ten-gallon lid, a fresh pair of boots — and a much too loud mouth.
(The definition of this one brings to my mind the current occupant of the Oval Office.)