SecretProvider

Amazing! I am sure he looks after you and enjoys your time too. is this a question or a statement? I think when it's a big gift like this, it is best to reach out and speak to them about the offer. they may hav things planned, jobs lined up, other personal family or friend events, when in doubt - ask the source! Never. With these two caveats - 1. As long as its within your budget, and 2 - its given as a gift without expectations - if it passes these two hurdles, it's never too generous.

I send holiday messages, and I have bought some special regulars special small gifts. In my corporate job we would give token gifts to people as well, the postman for eg. It's good business practice. It's really appreciated and I can guarantee it will make your relationship with a provider even better, he will be more flexible, maybe even more effort into your appointments, all if you give a gift. For example I don't just put $100 bill in a card for my buildings super, I buy him a case of his favorite beer too. Small tokens go far. It's not the amount, but the thought that counts. I have received small gifts, and what I would consider large gifts - all not expected but all very much appreciated. AS @Simon Suraci, who always has wise words to say - "Your repeat business is all we want and need."

I think you'll find lots of products that come with immediate delivery are actually a higher rate on platforms like amazon and uber eats than if you go in store. Regardless, for me and I imagine the provider in this scenario as well, the uber request is more about authenticating the client is genuine before I travel out there- because if they provide an Uber my rate remains the same as incall.

even better to just throw on some ruby slippers and click his heels three times!

yes but when you have things delivered they do charge you a shipping fee. not many things come with free post.

I was trained by the agency I started working with first to ask for money upfront, I would say "hey this is the first time we have met, is it ok if we get the money stuff out of the way and then we can both relax and enjoy the fun stuff" when they gave me the money I would leave it wherever they gave it to me, like on the coffee table or on top of my bag. and it was true, it did make me relax. I wasn't stressed in the back of my mind that something was going to happen when it come to payment and could focus on being my best, but I noticed, that a lot of people felt uncomfortable with it. no one ever refused but instead of making us both relax it seemed to put clients off. When I worked for myself I started just having to trust them and do it at the end. I have about one person a year try and stiff me with the money, its always guys that have cum super quick and then they don't want to stay the hour and think they can give half the rate, start a negotiation, or 'forgot cash in my wallet, can I go to ATM and come back?' I have had to walk people to an ATM I don't trust them to come back. It's a super violating feeling when you still have their cum inside you and they are trying to fuck you again. The other one, and I forget how many times this has happened, but they 'forget' to pay and go to walk out and just not pay. 'oh sorry I completely forgot I hadn't paid yet! I was so relaxed and it all felt so natural!' yeah right! that happens I would say maybe one a month where I have to stand in front of the door. I'm sure it could happen accidentally like @Nue2thegame but it happens way too often for it to always be. When it's a regular you know for sure it's an accident. The best middle ground is to put the money somewhere the provider can see it. I don't even count it until they are gone.

I've had to cut clients off when they behave this way and cross the line and they cannot separate reality from fantasy. big difference from being friendly and being friends. I have genuine affection for my clients but there is not one that I would engage in outside of a work/client experience.

For me - the service begins when I have confirmation that you are real client and not a scammer or time waster. That is that you have sent a deposit, or a premium member of rentmen, or I have met you before. If we have booked in advance and I may send messages touching base, to keep engagement and ensure the booking goes ahead. If we have already met - some times I message my regulars for the same reason - keeping that relationship engaged and staying in their mind. I also maintain a friendly relationship with them.

I started to do part time straight job to balance the sex work but it was too frustrating when I had to turn down bookings because of my day job. full time sex work was better for me.

I am cringing at the behavior of this provider. I would never behave this way and I don't know any of my friends that would either. Disgraceful. Sorry that happened to you dude - 100% kick this loser to the curb. We are supposed to be there to make you feel good, not treat you like this. Makes me mad and gives those of us who take this seriously a bad name.

if I am traveling and staying with friends or family and can't host, I use dayuse.com to hire a hotel room for a few hours. most of my clients are in calls by a big margin.

best course of action is to behave in a way that does not result in negative reviews.

incorrect. The Da prosecute the John, not the sex worker, just in case you are thinking of pulling the same stunt

I love it when they reply back 'can you do 100?' 🫠 100% this. I've had a client explain that they work as consultants/freelancers and are often negotiating rates. Some cultures see negotiating as part of it. I take your approach, and I have only accepted a reduced rate when they offer it for a longer booking (which I do anyway)

they don't know this - they search for eg. Baltimore and if you have it as your listed travel it will show as if you are there, except for a very small text at the bottom of your profile pic say (date123-date123) They reach out because the website gives the impression that you are available in that location, at that time. To avoid this as it gets so annoying I only put the city I am going to a week or two in advance. If you want those cities always listed - maybe have some text indicating that you only travel to those places with advance notice? (not that clients bother to read anyway!) yeah its annoying when you waste time on messages like 'hey do you ever come to Nebraska?' I keep a catalog of the cities and the profile name/number, and a week or two before I arrive I send a message 'hey, just letting you know I will be in town these dates, if you would like to schedule something, let me know'. I have made a lot of bookings this way. SMART.

True! but I don't think 80% of people are lying about being on Prep. Maybe I live in a New York bubble.

I say reach out to immigrant providers who may not have family obligations on these days. I had an appointment on New Years Day once and I just made sure it was late in the afternoon/evening so I had time to nurse the hang over enough to be able to adequately perform.

This data doesn't seem to align with my anecdotal experience. I find it surprising. The thing that I like about Prep so much is that I am responsible for my own health and I take it every singe day. It is so freeing that I don't even *think* about HIV anymore. Maybe guys are taking the 'I don't have to worry because everyone else is taking it'? The infection rate is continuing to drop (38% decrease) which is directly attribute to Prep. PrEP Use Significantly Associated with Decreasing New HIV Diagnoses Across U.S. States - AIDSVu AIDSVU.ORG

I only ever get asked to wear condoms by married men who still also have sex with their wives, and even then, not all of them want to. I can confirm my latest test results and Prep if they ask. I say I probably wear condoms maybe 10% of the time, I work on the assumption that no condoms is the preference

This is a hard lesson and I am sorry it happened to you dude. Stick to the professionals. The amount of 'check out my OF messages' from scammers people get on grindr is a lot.

comparing giving some random guy on grindr money compared to a small deposit to a provider who is well reviewed here and on RM is asinine.

I agree. If only common sense was common.

It sucks that you feel this way dude. A good worker would not make you feel like that. I would hope that you go with a provider that has been around a while, and has good feedback. Another option that may help if you go with a provider who is also in the category of 'bear' or 'chub' themselves.

Let's ask chatgpt got shall we? "if a sex worker agrees to have sex with someone for money, and after they have sex the client runs away with paying - has the sex worker suffered a sexual assault?" Short answer: Yes, it can be considered a sexual assault in some places. Whether it legally counts as sexual assault depends entirely on the laws of the country or state — but many jurisdictions increasingly treat “sex obtained through fraud” or “consent obtained under false pretenses” as a form of sexual offense. Here’s the clearer breakdown: In some places, consent must be “informed and voluntary.” If the sex worker agrees only because they are being paid, then the payment is part of the condition for consent. So if the client never intended to pay (or later refuses and runs off): The sex worker did not consent to unpaid sex The consent was obtained through fraud or deception Some legal systems recognize this as a form of sexual assault or coercive sexual act For example: Some European countries and parts of the U.S. treat fraud vitiating consent as a sex crime. Courts have ruled in some cases that “sex obtained by deception” can invalidate consent. In other jurisdictions, the law treats this situation as: Theft of services Fraud Violation of sex-work regulations …rather than a sexual assault. The harm still occurs, but the legal category is different. Seems like you seem to think it's ok for providers to be lured into non-consensual sex and be the victims of theft. so GTFOH.

Your safety and time are worth more than the opinions of people here who won’t even send a small deposit. What you describe is basically a sexual assault and thief. You never would have consented to have sex with this person without payment. People commenting on these forums (for the most part) might not act this way, and they have ZERO idea of the way we are treated by others who do. Don't let the people here tell you anything otherwise dude. Protect yourself first. You have put yourself out there - shown you are real, committed and prepared by giving your face, name, you have verified reviews they can contact and get even more confirmation. Until you met them - they are nothing but a phone number and a promise from a stranger. You are green and you have learned a very valuable lesson here- NEVER leave a client alone. Even if he has paid you. Ever. I have friends who the client went in his pocket and took the money back when he was in the shower. You shower together, or if the client wants to shower alone - you wait in the room and leave for dinner together. I went to the bathroom once and come out and the guy was looking through my drawers. Be friendly but not vulnerable. They all pretend to be kind at the start, it's how they trap you.