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I'd let the past stay in the past, especially if he's working to be a better person.  Maybe he will notice the past transaction and bring it up. Maybe he'll notice it and hope you didn't.  Maybe he won't notice.  If you meet and connect in a meaningful way, why risk ruining that?  

I've asked before when the rates shown are very different from the rates paid in the reviews.  

I'd let the past stay in the past, especially if he's working to be a better person.  Maybe he will notice the past transaction and bring it up. Maybe he'll notice it and hope you didn't.  Maybe he won't notice.  If you meet and connect in a meaningful way, why risk ruining that?  

I'd let the past stay in the past, especially if he's working to be a better person.  Maybe he will notice the past transaction and bring it up. Maybe he'll notice it and hope you didn't.  Maybe he won't notice.  If you meet and connect in a meaningful way, why risk ruining that?  

I'd let the past stay in the past, especially if he's working to be a better person.  Maybe he will notice the past transaction and bring it up. Maybe he'll notice it and hope you didn't.  Maybe he won't notice.  If you meet and connect in a meaningful way, why risk ruining that?  

Are you sure the urge to disclose isn’t coming from a less flattering place? He wronged you by taking your money, and even if it’s unconscious, there’s a real risk that this disclosure is about moral positioning, controlling the narrative, or preemptively absolving yourself.
Ask yourself this: if no money had changed hands, would the same urgency still be there? If the answer is no, then this isn’t really about transparency. It’s about discomfort with unresolved moral business.
Just make sure you’re not telling yourself a cleaner story than the one that’s actually driving the impulse.

I'd say you are putting the cart before the horse.  Just because someone came up as a "match" on a dating website doesn't indicate there will be any mutual interest.  I used to get lots of fake matches when I was on OKCupid.  That's one of the tricks those platforms use to keep people signed up.
Or maybe he's playing the same con man game on a website: You chat, you think there's potential, you chat some more, and then he asks for money and you never meet.
I hope my cynicism is wrong, that you contact him and hit it off.  I also don't see why you would bring up this past non-encounter, though, since you never even met him.  For all you know some other person conned you out of money by fraudulently using this guy's photos.

I'd let the past stay in the past, especially if he's working to be a better person.  Maybe he will notice the past transaction and bring it up. Maybe he'll notice it and hope you didn't.  Maybe he won't notice.  If you meet and connect in a meaningful way, why risk ruining that?  

I'd let the past stay in the past, especially if he's working to be a better person.  Maybe he will notice the past transaction and bring it up. Maybe he'll notice it and hope you didn't.  Maybe he won't notice.  If you meet and connect in a meaningful way, why risk ruining that?  

Technically it IS fine dining and shopping. 😉

I don't think "addiction" is the correct word to describe the times when I feel I can't get enough. In my case it's more like a binge of sort that stops at some point. After my initial first binge I've never been so actively hiring. I do hire but within reason and within my resources.
I've never allowed hiring or providers interfere with my life, my family, my work or any other aspect of my life. I understand that one of the aspects of addiction is that it takes over people's lives, and fortunately, that's never been the case with me. My position is that for as long as it doesn't interfere with anything in my life, it's not an addiction, nor is it a concern of any kind.
In fact, self-care was the original reason why I started hiring.

Dude, he blocked you. Yes, it sucks to have to cancel last-minute and yes, it sucks to get blocked. By blocking you he has sent a very clear message. Life is not always black-and-white, but in this instance I feel that it is. You asked for advice - I believe that it would be best for you to let it go and move on. 

Most often the listed rate isn’t the rate that Includes what I know I look for in a massage so I always inquire to be sure that want I want I will get.
 

But if you wanted to add onions, I wouldn't assume the price stayed the same. 

So the better way to handle this, is to simply say: “I would like the sensual/therapeutic/deep tissue/etc etc. appointment on your ad for $XXX.
That’s vastly different from asking, “hey XXX, what’s your rate? Or “how much?” (This is exactly how many of them come at us). That’s where the issue comes in.
I dislike comparing escort/masseur services to food, but imagine if someone asked the price for something this:

 
“ummm how much is the mushroom burger?”
 
”ummm, how much is the calamari?”

I really think when I get to be in my 60s, I'll look for providers in their 50s/60s.  I don't think I'll hire a guy in his 20s....and one of my favorite providers that I used to see would probably be considered a "chub" but man did he give a great and unique massage.   I wouldn't say no to a provider based on what you've shared above.

Hello all,
First off, apologize for this rant, so bear with me please.
When I am thinking about seeing a new masseur, my first place to check around is here to get more info.  However, if there is no posts here, I will reach out to those who posted reviews.  I have found that some reviews are not totally accurate or missing details, so I reach out to the person on RM with a very friendly message.
All I'm trying to do is find out more to see if it's a good match. After all the new "normal" price seems to be $200+   I don't want to waste their time or mine if it's not a good fit (nor my money).  Also we all know here there are some masseurs whose pic is lets say not very accurate
I just got one back that said: "I'm always surprised when people reach out to other people on RM for information. My suggestion is reach out to him and ask him your questions".
I do reach out to the masseur for questions.  I find I often get vague responses to my questions
I also had a masseur reach out to me blasting me for asking questions about him followed by blocking me
I do not understand why doing your homework is a bad thing???    Let's help each other out here !!!!!

I tried him out and while the overall experience wasn't horrible but it wasn't good and I can't recommend him....I won't go back.   
Positives: 
-Great eyes
-Electric bright smile
-Massage started off slow and methodic which was relaxing and I thought was foreshadowing 
-Beautiful golden-doodle, who was very chill after meeting me
Negatives: 
-Hotel room he was in downtown was cramped, he had to shift the table around to allow him to move around it for the massage 
-The massage table itself was thin, I'm not a big guy but my arms were barely fitting on the table without putting 1-2 fingers under my legs and tucking them close
-He is an attractive person but the pictures on the site are outdated to his current look and body-type.  He said he'd been traveling (8 states in 3 months I think) and so he probably wasn't regularly at the gym like his pictures indicate, so he's less defined. 
-About 20+ minutes in he paused and tried the upsell for him to remove his underwear for "playtime", which I declined.  This tactic is one of my least favorite things.  I kept it with the massage which did have MT and HE.  
There are more negatives so I'm happy to answer questions or share more details by DM.
I would avoid, there are several better providers in San Diego

https://sandiego.craigslist.org/nsd/bts/d/oceanside-relaxing-massage/7908413835.html

Great advice. It should be a bonus in your life, not the main part of it. Have a fulfilling life outside of hiring and if you don’t have one, work toward one. I don’t even mean a social life, I mean hobbies, goals/aspirations to work toward, the gym, anything you can be passionate about.

Only about time wasters and troublemakers. It’s based on the phone number. There’s no site where we rate and  comment on clients or bitch about them. That’s kind of pointless. I discuss a few mutual clients with other masseurs who I’m friends with but that’s just work talk. 

Ok I think it’s just because my number doesn’t have any comments.  So that’s good

I downloaded Mr number, looked up my number and it just says it’s a personal line. That’s it. 
 
any tips on how to use this?
 
 Thanks!

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I always ask because sometimes the information posted is not accurate nor does it  encompass all options available.
Isnt it better for everyone to be on the same page rather than surprises or miscommunication happening later?