TMB

Yup. Wished him well. Blocked him everywhere.

As you can see from my post earlier, it's done. He just can't seem to let it go, which is really too bad. He's a really sweet guy with a hot, muscular bod. I will miss him but def not this drama

Hey all. Just a (hopefully) quick update to "As the Provider Turns". I was planning to meet up with him on Monday but this morning I found a text from him overnight saying it was bothering him so much that he was not able to sleep. We texted for a bit but it was clear that he was just never going to let it go. Claims it's not that he caught feelings. To me, it appears he's taking my lack of paying him the same rate as the other guy as a testament to his worth or something. It was clear nothing I could do or say would move him off it so I just said this behavior is making impossible for me to feel comfortable with him again, so we're done. Thanks again to all for your feedback and advice. Clearly, the solution was to tell him to take a hike after offering to pay him more wasn't enough to get him to let it go. Losing a regular client over $40/hr. Maybe he should find another gig.

Thank you! This is a great take with a lot to think about. I, myself, want my frustration/disappointment, etc to be acknowledged before I move into problem solving with the other party and that's something I didn't really think about in this case. Where I've left things is that we're going to meet up in a week and I've asked him to think about what it is he needs to tell me and what would make him feel better and to tell me that when we meet. Totally agree that I'm not going to get wrapped up in emotional situation. That's not what I'm in this for. I am sorry he feels bad but I really don't feel guilty about it. I thinking this either comes down to an expectation mismatch (which can be fixable) or a "caught feelings" situation (which is not).

This is a really good point. I did not negotiate the price and he offered the rate I paid without indicating it was a discount. If we had negotiated it then I would totally understand his disappointment. Looking over our correspondence I see then when I re-engaged 4 months ago with him, after a couple of months had passed since seeing him, he sent a image of his rates but I didn't pay attention. It did indicate the higher rate so that's definitely on me. It's still just weird that gladly offering to pay more didn't seem to resolve it. Anyway, we'll see what happens. Thanks for your feedback.

Overall, I'm in agreement with @mike carey but I also see @purplekow's point. As a client, my view is that the provider is the ultimate decision maker about what time he will provide, for what and at what cost and I have NO problem with that. I would not expect any time spent with them to be free for any reason. Even if a provider requested meeting up before a session or going for dinner after, I would expect to pay for his time as well. If the provider makes it clear it's off the clock, then great. But in this case, to be honest, I'd be a little worried about a catching feelings situation, one of the "blurred lines" I think people have referred to previously and I would want to clarify where he's at on this. If it's just friendship then that would be great! I see @purplekow's point, though, that at certain rates, even if both would like to spend more time together, it's just not realistic for the client. But, again, my view is that it's on the provider to decide to offer a lower rate, etc. I think for me, I just feel uncomfortable haggling over the price of access to someone's time or body. I take at face value and respect whatever rate a provider offers. If it's too much for me, I move on.

I hadn't really thought about the emotional aspect of this but given your and others responses, maybe that's what's going on. As I said above, it would really be too bad if that's the case as I am not romantically available so if that's what he needs, I can't give it to him.

Thanks very much, Jamie21. I appreciate the perspective. I really like the idea of the Brotherhood of Providers watching out for and helping one another.

Couples therapy 😂 I'm worried it could be because I was seeing another provider mostly because it doesn't seem like my indicating I'd be happy to pay more if that's what he wants (and I would, he's a great provider) is solving the issue for him. And if that's the problem then I'm afraid we're done. Which is really a bummer.

I just really not sure. His feedback boils down to "Well, you're seeing quite a few masseurs [note - only two other reviews besides my 5 star review for him, one of whom I pay less than him]. My standard rate is X and you've been paying .8X because I gave you a discount and i've never brought it up but now I see you've paid someone 1.25X. I was being nice because I considered you a good guy, a good client and a good friend. I am disappointed" My response boils down to "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I value my time with you and appreciate and respect you. What would you like me to do? Happy to pay you more per session." He just kept saying he's disappointed and doesn't know what he wants me to do. I get the disappointment but it just seems odd. I asked him to think about what he wants me to do and that we should work this out before we meet again. I would like to see him again but not if he's resentful. I definitely appreciate your perspective on this.

That's kind of where I'm at. I've never asked him what he charges other clients because it's none of my business.

I'm curious whether anyone else has experienced this. I just had a difficult text convo with one of my regulars who, after seeing a review I made about another provider in our area to whom I paid more than I've paid him, is upset with me. I've offered to pay him more per session, want him to feel valued, appreciated and respected (which I totally feel about him) and just want him to tell me what he wants me to do. He says he doesn't know, he just keeps saying he disappointed with me. Has anyone dealt with this? If so, what did you do? Any advice would be helpful.

He is one hot beast! But sounds like it's just going to be therapeutic.

Just sent you a DM

Recently had a great session with Hanky. Was unusually but in good ways. Would definitely recommend. Happy to share more in dm

Met up with Pony earlier today and I am still floating on air and I don't use that term loosely. I've met with a few men around here and I've had mostly very good experiences but this was just - wow. I highly recommend him. DM if you would like more details.

I remember his porn career fondly and he is SOOO up my alley. So to speak. 😆🥰

He is trying REALLY HARD to get me to meet up with him before a trip I am taking and I'm kind of enjoying it. If he had stellar reviews, with that body and that facial/body hair, I would be with him ASAP. But because of what I've read hear I'm going to see if he's interested in playing the long game. 😈

That's a real concern but I think in his case he's old enough and done this enough that it's more feeling comfortable then catching any feelings. He actually fell asleep like that once!

Agree with others that you shouldn't over think this. I think I'm fairly realistic about where I am on the attractiveness scale. Sometimes I get compliments, sometimes I don't. But, for me, I think I want to think they are enjoying themselves with me. As Manhattan correctly says, good providers will seem to enjoy themselves whether they do or don't. But one of my regular provides, now that we're 5-6 times in, has first started climbing on the table at the end to cuddle with me, usually going over our time, and has recently kissed me, which he hadn't done before. This makes me feel like he really does enjoy being with me, which is the most I could hope for. *edited to add the point I forgot to make: actions speak louder than words. I think you can tell if a provider enjoys being with you.

Well I clicked on his ad earlier today and got 9 pics so I guess I win the grand prize! 😆

FYI, I looked at his profile earlier this year, he contacted me on RentMasseur but based on what I saw here I didn't respond. Just found out he blocked me 😆 So, that's interesting.

Had a recent session with RobVigor (LordVigor on Rent men) and it was great! He's not quite as ripped as his Mark Henderson pics (which didn't surprise me) but muscular, hot and very nice. We had a great session and I would definitely repeat. Robvigor - Male Masseur, Gay massage in Palm Springs, CA | RentMasseur RENTMASSEUR.COM Gay Masseur Robvigor in Palm Springs, CA offering a wide range of massages ⭐ experienced in...

He's based in Palm Springs now

Recently had another session with him and it was just as good as the last. Very good, firm massage and lots of fun after. Still highly recommend him.