DGHou

Met him a about 18 months ago I think.  We had a good time I think.  Well, at least I did.

That is not an obstacle for me.  Virtually every provider I have met that smokes has never smelled like smoke nor had cigarette breath.  I would imagine there are some clients who have a smoker fantasy and the provider saying he smokes would be a plus for said client.  Not unlike a dirty underwear fantasy or smelly feet fantasy, neither of which I have but to each his own!

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Jose is a sweet guy. Good looking with this quiet/shy vibe. His English isn’t great so there were a few moments where it was hard to fully connect, but he was kind and tried his best.
I had fun and he was open to everything, I had to take the lead the whole time, which can be hot, but sometimes it’s nice to feel a bit more energy or chemistry coming from both sides. You know what I mean? He’s got a lot of potential though. With time and more confidence, I think he’ll really grow into it. If you’re into someone sweet, low-key, you’ll probably enjoy him.

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That is not an obstacle for me.  Virtually every provider I have met that smokes has never smelled like smoke nor had cigarette breath.  I would imagine there are some clients who have a smoker fantasy and the provider saying he smokes would be a plus for said client.  Not unlike a dirty underwear fantasy or smelly feet fantasy, neither of which I have but to each his own!

Yes to everything @NYXboy said. I am planning to bring two of my favorite guys together in about a month to smother me in muscle; and the main reason I feel able to pursue this long-held fantasy is the fact that the two guys are old friends, and have worked together before; and both know me well. In approaching them about the plan, both said independently that they wouldn’t have considered tag-teaming me otherwise.

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...my friend's cousin's neighbor told me she knew somebody who knew somebody.....

I was also checking him out.  Sounds like an OF promoter.

I can HIGHLY recommend Alex.  You will never meet a nicer, more attentive and genuine guy.  I have known him for years and he is a true gentleman.
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Angelo is a sweetheart. I had him come visit last summer and was not disappointed!
 

In addition to the tremendous amount of focus and determination it must take to meet with clients who would not normally attract a provider, I also can't imagine how difficult it must be to meet up with someone you know nothing about.  And to do this multiple times in a day or a week.  The risk of disease can only be mitigated so far, and the risk to personal safety can probably increase quite suddenly with some clients.  Then there's the societal stigma, the risk to interpersonal relationships with family and romantic partners, the stresses and costs of keeping oneself in tip-top condition, the expense of marketing oneself and travel, and the risk of income loss during unexpected crises like pandemics and recessions.  I imagine the work is physically, emotionally, mentally and even spiritually draining.  No work-place benefits or pensions, no protection through regulations in those places where the work is not legal or fully legal, and then there's also the relatively short term nature of this career path - given that everyone ages, and not everyone is able to navigate change and adapt and rebrand themselves accordingly.  All in all, I can't think of many other careers that have the potential to bring so much happiness and fulfilment to the clients, and with such a high level of diverse risk for the providers.   
This is part of the reason why it really bothers me when providers are objectified and disrespected in this forum.  Yes, there are those providers who evidently fall very short of the mark and it's good to warn others about them, but the number of people who are truly suited for this line of work is likely exceedingly small, and I would argue they should be seen and treated as the professionals they are.  

He reminds me a lot of porn star Austin Locke.

He is a cutie! Very nice equipment

There is an escort that I saw pretty regularly for a few years.   He is not only the best provider I have ever met he is also the best sex I have ever had.  I'm almost 66 and let's just say I have been enjoying physical pleasure with other guys since I was much, much younger. So I know of what I speak. Anyway, he and I would text to wish each other happy birthday, or at the holidays, or on V-Day like today.  When we see each other it is usually for several hours and he's happy with the one hour rate because we seem to get along well.  We talk about our lives and relationships. We will lay in bed after sex and talk, and sometimes go for round 2. Other times we get together for dinner and maybe a movie, without sex.  I almost always make a contribution for his time because sometimes he says no, he just wanted to hang out and talk.
 

I’m sorry for your loss and that you were in the situation you found yourself in with the new guy.  I guess arousal is different for all of us.  Glad you have found a way to get some gratification in the meantime. 

On the flip side a few years ago I had been chatting with a guy on Craigslist when they had men seeking men.  He was very friendly, sent pics (very cute twink, my type), etc.  Gave me an address.  When I pulled up outside the house the curtains were open and through the window I could see a family sitting down for dinner.  I'm like wtf? Maybe he lives with his family even though he was definitely over 18.  So I texted to confirm the address thinking I had it wrong.  He texted that it was the correct one.  When I told him I could see a family having dinner, silence.  No answer to a couple more texts so I feel I was pranked, and I too drove over 45 minutes.

I met a really cute, younger guy at a gay bar in NOLA on my 40th birthday. I bought him a drink and we chatted. When I was paying for the second drink I dropped my money clip.  When I bent down to pick it up he gently pushed his crotch into my face for a brief second, which I took as a signal he wanted to go to my hotel with me. When we got there I made sure to fold my jeans with my wallet a certain way and put them on the desk chair, putting my folded shirt and underwear on top of the jeans. We had great sex and after  I shot my load I passed out.  Slept for over 11 hours.  The next day he was gone.  My clothes were still folded as I has left them but all my cash and credit cards had been taken.  
I think he slipped me a mickey when I bent down to get my money clip.  I didn't have much cash in it. I never do in case someone is watching.  But the wallet in my back pocket had quite a bit.  I never take my eye off my drink anymore, even in 2 bars I frequent all the time.

For psychotherapy to work you need to take the therapist OUT of your "privacy" concerns. You would get nowhere without 100% honest exposure. A professional therapist doesn't judge. I've worked with a therapist for a few years who's heterosexual yet extremely understanding, professional and even "kind" and  amusingly curious about the ins and outs of my very wild and sometimes over the top sexual histories. It's very comforting to work with someone you trust 100% to be understanding and supportive of every quirk. It's not a priest. They don't judge you.

Judgmental much? @carnalvore didn't say he had any health issues. He didn't say whether he exercises. He didn't say he was fat. What he said amounts to saying that he weighs more than he did before. That is hardly a pathology, and hardly uncommon. Maybe he can do some things to change, but there is a balance between finding providers who are happy to deal with you as you are, and working out if you need to change yourself. But the last thing you should do when a meeting with a provider doesn't go well is to blame yourself.

Yup.
There are lots of pretty boys out there who aren't really prepared for the reality of fucking people who they aren't attracted to, or may even feel repulsed by.
If you feel less attractive than you once were (as we ALL do eventually feel) then choose someone who is maybe a little less than stunning themselves but more skilled at making you feel valued.

I'd suggest telling him "this isn't working for me" and tell him he needs to leave.
At that point, he'll either ask what he can do to correct things, or he'll pick up his stuff to leave. In order to avoid a confrontation you may still want to pay the full fee, just to get him to leave with minimal drama. That's the old adage with escorts, you're not paying them to show up, you're paying them to leave. But no tip, and you could also leave a less-than-stellar review.
Some other options could include not having porn playing (so he's focused on you, not the porn), and/or communicating to him what you would like to do together or had hoped to do together. Particularly if he's a younger provider, he may need to be given some direction.
You're right, a true professional should not be dissuaded by your age or body type. For a lot of us, those things are not an issue, and instead we're more interested in the chemistry and good energy. Some guys will put in their ad descriptions that they're open to all ages and body types... pick one of those guys!

In my experience Mintboys and Jock2go yielded nothing but scammers. I stick to rentmen, rentmasseur, and a4a.

I'm not a lawyer, but think twice before calling the police if this was in Texas. If the police think someone paid for sex, that's now a felony on the first charge in Texas. New law that I believe is less than a year old.