Nightowl

1978. I did see Fellow Travelers. Excellent and disturbing.

I am indeed!

I waited until way past my 30’s. I missed a lot of enjoyment I could have had.

I can only answer for myself and my own situation but I grew up during a time when anything other than hetero sex was “perversion.” When I applied for my first job in government I had to take a polygraph on which there were questions like “have you ever put your penis in another man’s mouth or anus?” Answer “yes” and you were eliminated. If you did it later and were discovered, you were fired. Once the LGBTQ+ restrictions were dropped, there were a lot more women who came out than men, probably because the agency I worked in was defense/military and heavy peer discrimination was still there. Faced with a NYT survey about sexuality, for the duration of the the decades I worked for the government, even though the LGBTQ+ discrimination ended, I would have answered “no” to anything other than “heterosexual” even though I have always known I am attracted to both sexes. Bottom line: my answers would have skewed the survey and I suspect you are correct that there are a lot more closeted guys out there who would have said “no” because saying “yes” to anything on the LGBTQ+ spectrum would have made it too “real”… These are my own thoughts and experiences on the issue only; nothing scientific.

Just stumbled on your post; I was thinking of posting something similar. You’ve expressed my feelings exactly. Thanks to all who help, support, and educate all of us.

I’m sorry for your loss and that you were in the situation you found yourself in with the new guy. I guess arousal is different for all of us. Glad you have found a way to get some gratification in the meantime.

Got mine and had a minor reaction (achiness and low fever) but they passed quickly. I had shingles in the past and it was a miserable experience so getting the shots to avoid going through that again is worth it.

The need for arousal is my understanding too. In my case arousal is never the problem, it’s the hardness that can be problematic. If Viagra doesn’t work I’ll look into trimix. Thanks for the advice (and the warning).

If the 25s don’t work I’ll have to double or triple up. Might be time for a solo session to see whether the 25s do anything.

My right hand charges a lot less.

100mg of Viagra didn’t work? Just got my first Rx and the doctor gave me 25mg. I was expecting rock-hard erections. Now I’m worried 😬

Perhaps…There’s a reason I never leave those long, thick cucumbers on the counter when I’m washing up…

Bingo. Viagra’s probably not going to do much for you if you’re doing the dishes or worrying about tomorrow’s big meeting.

Good point. Could you be unknowingly sending out the wrong vibes because of your own belief that others are disgusted?

Wow. Ageist much? A lot of boomers are as adept with computers as those much younger. In the case of these spam texts, it’s also a matter of suspicion and skepticism. If you’ve got a healthy dose of both, you’ll question it regardless of age. Please don’t draw conclusions based on age. It’s offensive.

I am a late starter too and am still wrestling with the issue of coming out. Having been raised in the 60’s and 70’s, my life has been strictly hetero and it is only in the past 3-4 years that I’ve begun to explore my attractions to men. My experiences with men have been mind-blowing in the sense that I have found it incredibly liberating to be with someone who has the same body as I do, knows how and where to give me pleasure, and allows me the freedom to touch and give him pleasure in the same way. I’ve never denied my gay tendencies but hid them because of family and societal pressures. I admire you for overcoming the stigmas and I hope to get where you are someday soon.

Maybe I just need a good prostate orgasm to change my mind.

Having a cock in my ass always sounded hot as hell but the reality turned out to be painful. I invariably go limp when he’s pounding away. I realize I prefer some playful anal touch with probing digital penetration but don’t really want to take in the whole sausage.

Ambient music only. Anything with words is distracting and anything with a noticeable beat will, like someone else said, get me fucking to the music. Not always a good thing.

If the provider is scheduled that day for filming for JFF or another site he’ll probably save himself for an explosive money shot on camera. A little dribble doesn’t sell as many subscriptions.

Two things: When we slowly undress each other and when I’m not the only one who cums.

A few tattoos of significance can be attractive since there are stories behind them. A mess of tattoos of cartoon characters, not so much.

I hire the same guy every few months. Since he’s on JFF I find myself watching his videos in the days before we have a live session. By the time I get to his place I’m pretty worked up.

On a related note, some sites allow clients to set up profiles complete with descriptions and photos. Do providers actually “shop” through client profiles or is setting one up a waste of time?

Start with a sensual massage rather than erotic and look for someone who has his own studio if you can find one near you. That way you can bail if you don’t like the look of it or how the session goes (after paying, of course). 60 minutes is enough to start but it goes by fast, so even 90 isn’t too much. I don’t recommend starting by hiring an escort. That could be too much for your first experience. Sensual massage differs by provider but you can usually expect him to touch intimate areas of your body (ass/asshole, balls, cock) and you will likely get a hard-on. Don’t try to hide it; that tells the provider he’s hitting the right spots and giving you pleasure, so don’t be embarrassed. If you’re uncomfortable with what’s happening, tell him. If you like what he’s doing, tell him that too. The most awkward moments for me my first time with a sensual massage were at the beginning. I wanted sensual but didn’t know how to ask for it and wasn’t sure what was “allowed.” As a first-timer you might just want to tell him “I’ve never done this before” and let him take the lead. With a sensual massage you’ll probably get a happy ending. Whether that qualifies as losing your virginity is yours to determine. Full-fledged sex is also available for hire with escorts and some erotic massages but I really wouldn’t recommend starting there. I guarantee you that right after your first sensual massage you’ll be ready to schedule your next. As for telling him you’re a virgin, I personally don’t think he needs to know if you’re just getting a sensual massage but that’s your call. If you’re booking someone with the intent of having full-blown sex, you probably do want to let him know…BTW, my thoughts are from the perspective of a client. Providers will have another perspective that may differ.