Hey—first of all, take a breath. You’ve already done the hardest part. You reached out, made a plan, and now it’s happening. That’s a big deal.
And yeah, it’s totally normal to be nervous. Everyone is the first time. Honestly, the only real mistakes I’ve made in situations like this were because I let nerves take over. So try not to. Relax. Take a walk, throw on some porn if that helps you get in the mood, and remind yourself—you want this. That’s why you’re doing it.
This guy’s a pro. Discretion is part of the job. He’s done this a hundred times. He’ll know how to come and go without anyone blinking. He doesn’t want to draw attention to himself either. He’s there to make things smooth, simple, and low-key.
You’ve already told him what you’re looking for—which is great. If there’s anything else you want—or don’t want—just say it clearly. Before things get physical. That’s what good communication is, and pros respect that.
Now, about the hotel—totally get it, not being out and having coworkers around. You’ve got options. When you check in, ask for a room away from the rest of your group—ideally even on a different floor if possible. I do it all the time. Hotel front desk staff absolutely understand discretion. A quiet, direct ask like, “Could I be somewhere a little more private, away from the group?” with a bit of eye contact has worked for me 100% of the time. And if it seems like others in your group might overhear and start asking questions, no worries—just let everyone else check in first, then step up to the desk on your own. I’m telling you—I’ve done this before.
As for the actual meetup, you can give the provider clear instructions on how to get to your room—most hotels don’t require any interaction at the front desk. If you’re nervous about him knocking, ask him to text when he’s outside so you can open the door right away—no hallway lingering. You could also leave the door slightly open like you’re waiting on room service, or if it feels easier, just meet him outside and walk in together like two people getting back from dinner. Your coworkers aren’t paying attention unless you give them a reason to. Keep it casual, keep it calm.
Also—don’t be afraid to say, “Hey, I’m a little nervous—any ideas for keeping it low-key?” He’s the pro. He’s there to make it easy. He might have tricks you haven’t even thought of.
Last thing—don’t overthink it. Be smart, stay safe, but let yourself enjoy this. You’re in control. This is about you feeling good. And you’ve got this.
KEEP US UPDATED! We all want to know how it goes!