BasketBaller

Was thinking about you as I watched those midshipmen -to -be, trying to get up that long greasy pole. I must admit some of my thoughts strayed to a completely different type of greasy pole trying to be mounted.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/heaven-is-a-real-place-and-it-is-here?utm_term=.olzQ3ZB0Aq#.yqb2k0rlob

Was thinking about you as I watched those midshipmen -to -be, trying to get up that long greasy pole. I must admit some of my thoughts strayed to a completely different type of greasy pole trying to be mounted.

I've often attended that event, but couldn't this year. Next year my son will be one of them so I'll either need to control my thoughts or stay away!

Do your kids know about you?

They do not, as far as I know. As I have posted about in the past, they used to urge me to date, even suggesting women I should go out with. Then, a couple of years ago, that abruptly stopped, and I'm not sure whether they began to suspect my interests lay elsewhere, or they just got preoccupied with adolescence.

Update-- oldest is home for the summer with an internship here but missing his girlfriend a lot and probably going to visit her in Boston as soon as he can. So all at home until the end of June when one twin reports to the Naval Academy for plebe summer, during which we'll have very limited contact. So we're trying to stay in the moment and enjoy this time together but the impending changes are always there in the background, for me at least. I hear the twins in their room talking late into the night and I know it's on their minds. I don't think they've been apart for more than a week in their lives, and when their brother left for college they turned down the offer for one to take his room, and stayed together in theirs. I'm sure it's a good thing for them to move on with separate lives, but what an adjustment it's going to be. They graduate from high school in two weeks.

Navy twin and his girlfriend are vowing to continue a long-distance relationship. DePaul twin and his are not so sure that will work, as much as they like each other. He'll be in Chicago and she's going to school in Vermont, so they'll be farther apart.

My oldest is taller than me, and I suspect his brothers will be too, they're still growing.

As a teenager I went through a phase of using suntan lotion to jerk off with. I wonder if the family knew what I was up to when I came out of my room with that coconut smell?

I've never gotten fucked without a condom so only condom-friendly lube lately.

[ATTACH=full]6343[/ATTACH]

This guy is right up my alley. Or at least I'd like him to be.

Met with Barrett Long a while back...HUGE tool...,nice guy, but a VERY lame encounter....would not repeat

You know, I feel that way just from seeing his porn. He seems affable, and obviously is super hung, but his technique seems clumsy and mechanical, he just doesn't seem to find a rhythm!

I cannot speak for others but I always enjoy your posts, your avatar has great abs and your posts have great heart.

I wish I had the abs, but I'd rather have the heart.

Baller, I just found this beautiful thread.

 

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you! When I started sharing this side of my life I worried it would seem weird or boring to talk about it here, and if it has been to anyone, I apologize. But the reaction from most folks here has been so gratifying, and truly even comforting, I'm humbled and so glad to have found my way here. I have posted things here I've never said to anyone ever, and felt comfortable doing so. Thanks again to you all.

BBaller, your wife is right there with you, I am sure you know it. I am sure you feel it. I am sure when you are down, memories help supply a sense of peace and contentment with just a tinge of melancholy. So you did do it, both of you. You have been blessed.

Well so much for my claim that nobody's cried lately.

(Thank you very much.)

Congrats, Bballer! You must be really proud!

Honestly, I am. The boys have almost always made me proud, but I can't even express how full my heart is these days. Partly I know it's because an era is ending, partly because a wonderful new one is starting. But also because I think of those three little boys that they were, taking flight, and as complex as my feelings are, the main one is tied to memories of their mom and the thought is "We did it."

As to living alone, you will hate it. And love it. When they return, you will find yourself relieved and also wondering how you ever lived in such a chaotic world. Best of luck to all four of you guys. And was it only your son eyeing the midshipmen?

Thank you, my friend. And while I didn't crane my neck, I might have angled myself so I was facing in certain directions...

My sister had 3 girls in college all at the same time and the girls were very upset because they were only a year apart so they grew up as sisters, as well as friends basically. However, with Skype and other things (which I certainly did not have) they "saw" each other all the time and it did not seem as bad. They gave each whatever news they had and, of course, talked about boyfriend problems.

I'm sure Skype will get as much use as plebes are allowed. It's been a constant with the twins and their big brother. (And him with me...)

This is what the day the plebes arrive at the Naval Academy looks like. Those slamming doors at the end are already a little hard to watch.

@BasketBaller , any news on your other son and his decision? Your Annapolis-bound son must be excited!

Thanks for asking!

The one has decided on DePaul in Chicago. Stanford wait-listed him, and he got into UVA which had been his second choice, but changed his mind. I admitted that Chicago was more appealing to me than Palo Alto because of distance after he'd made up his mind, and he gave me a quick smile and didn't say anything. But it's a good choice and he's very happy with it, and the financial aid package made me even happier.

The guy going to the Naval Academy is over the moon but getting a little serious as what he's taking on settles in. We were in Annapolis yesterday for a baseball game and I noticed him watching the Midshipmen in the stands as much as he watched the game. His gf got into UPenn and they still swear they'll make it work. His twin also has a great girlfriend who's going to Middlebury College in New England, so they'll be pretty far apart, and haven't made as much noise about staying together in a long-distance thing. We'll see.

So next year I'll have a junior at Fordham, a freshman at DePaul, and a plebe at USNA. The plebe starts at the end of June so the separation is coming fast and the two of them are obviously feeling it, they are glued together most of the time. Nobody's cried recently (that I know of) but I have a feeling that day when we take him to Annapolis and leave him there, where we'll have little contact for the rest of the summer, will be emotional. For all of us. Their older brother comes home soon and we'll have a month or so all together. And by September, it'll just be me here. As I've posted before, I've never really lived on my own! Lots of adjustment for all.

http://funds.gfmcdn.com/13626281_1470856044.3102.jpg

http://daily.squirt.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/tumblr_ntmn5gpHoo1s6iuu4o1_1280.jpg

He isn't the physical type I usually am turned on by, but in his porn, his technique is amazingly sexy. When he's intensely fucking someone in missionary position, looking into the other guy's eyes, let's just say the vicarious experience is a powerful one.

I tried to contact him a long time ago and he responded days later, answering none of my questions and quoting a very high rate. I loved his Sean Cody porn but that persona seems to have been a performance.

Well then there's hope that a sex tape of Hernandez and Tebow may be out there? OMG!!!

Neither one of them is quite my usual type, but I'd watch it!

Nice. It's looking pretty likely one of my sons will be in school in Chicago next fall, so I'm going to be visiting occasionally. I have my eye on a couple of guys to try, I'll add Josh to the list I think!

I often have seen Billy Santoro in a DC grocery store. We've gotten so we nod at each other.

It's taken me a long time to respond to this thread. Aaron Hernandez was not someone I was a fan of as a player, he seemed to have the arrogant, entitled attitude too many athletes display, both pros and gifted college ones. When the murder charge and conviction happened, I was glad justice was served and had no sympathy for someone who threw away such a life, one many envy (including, perhaps, my younger self).

As someone whose youthful identity was tied up in being an athlete, and for whom sports has provided pride and enjoyment, I was angered by his crime. But without having a shred of sympathy for a murderer, the news that fear of being outed as a closeted bisexual may have inspired his crime resonated with me uncomfortably, and it's been on my mind a lot.

I was a jock in school, a varsity basketball player at a Division 1 school. I'd been a jock since childhood, on teams in school and the community. I was lucky to have been raised by parents who were tolerant and gave me a good example of how to live. But I also had a secret that I was terrified of and denied with every fiber of my being, which was that I was attracted sexually to other males. I remember suppressing idle thoughts every day, I taught myself to not look at guys in the locker room so strongly that I still don't do it. No one, as far as I know, ever suspected me of this. But I had to hide it from myself and looking back, realize how fearful I was that anyone else would know.

Did I murder anyone? No, of course not. And somehow, somehow, I avoided the crime of mocking or bullying others for their sexuality in order to protect my secret. (The only fist fight I ever had in my life was to defend a shy, fey kid, who may or may not have been gay, from being bullied by a bigger kid). But in HS, and my first years of college, I was a hound, I slept around with a lot of girls to prove I was "normal." And believe me, if you're a relatively prominent athlete in school, getting sex is no problem, or wasn't then anyway. I look back in sorrow at how many feelings I probably hurt, how disrespectful I was, how dishonestly I was using others, not even for pleasure, but to build a facade. Everyone knew I was a "lady killer" and my teammates admired me for it. I never had sex with anyone unwilling, I never pressured anyone, but certainly there were girls who regretted going to bed with me when I moved on immediately to the next one.

All that changed when I met my wife-to-be, who almost refused to date me because of my reputation. That was a wake-up call, and once we connected I never was with anyone else. And I truly loved her, which was a new thing. The years of perspective let me see that even she was part of a screen, but not such a thoughtless one as the young women I'd been using to prove I wasn't anything but straight.

So, that's a long way of saying that Hernandez' story makes me sadder than it did. To live in that milieu and lie every day is hard. For him to have been actively bisexual in high school, as he apparently was, is something I can't fathom, but that's my limitation. I didn't admit my bisexuality to myself until I was comfortably married with kids, and with no intention of acting on it. But I still have some insight into how much fear he might have had about being outed. I had no expectation of ever having even that tiny insight into his life and his crimes. But while my behavior wasn't criminal, maybe, it was wrong, and it was otherwise uncharacteristic of who I am. Hernandez deserved his sentence, but his suicide still makes me sad.

I sent him a message yesterday asking about rates, since his RM ad says "ask." He's logged into the site since, but hasn't answered.

Bumping to see if anyone's taken the plunge.

He's in DC next week, I'd value any feedback as well.