Three different experiences with three different masseurs over the years.
1) Excellent masseur who I had been seeing for several years for erotic massages. One time I called up for an appointment, and he said something like: "I have to tell you I am in therapy and my therapist and I have agreed I am not doing erotic massages any more, just therapeutic. If you don't want to see me anymore that is absolutely fine, and I can even recommend someone else who is very good and does erotic massages." I said that was fine, that I was happy to get his excellent therapeutic massages. I got two or three strictly therapeutic massages, and then he was back to full service. He simply needed to know that at least some people valued him for his massage skills, and not just sex...that he was regarded as a professional masseur not an escort. When he saw that was true, he and his therapist were fine with him doing erotic massages.
2) Another excellent regular, who only advertised therapeutic and sensual, not erotic. After my first massage that ended with a HE, I said I would write a review. He said "Please only say sensual, not erotic. I am here on a student visa and have a government scholarship, and I don't want to jeopardize them." He was from a country with different laws and societal expectations. Fair enough. I assume most if not all of his clients got the full service. He just needed to feel safe.
3) Yet another excellent regular from another country, whose every massage was "therapeutic, sensual and erotic" in his own words. One time as I was leaving he got a text from a former client who wanted to stop by for 10 minutes for a BJ. For language-skill reasons, he asked me to check his reply, which was "No I will not do that. I prefer to do massage." Again, he needed to feel that clients are coming to see him for his professional massage skills, not only for sex, even though every massage includes sexual acts.
Life is complicated and human beings are complicated. We all rationalize some things that may not be rational on the surface. What is important is for everyone to appreciate that understanding, direct honest communication and empathy go a long way.
That being said, at some point this masseur acquired a live-in boyfriend, who was living off the masseur's income, and then complaining about the source of the money. One day I arrived and the masseur said that the bf didn't like him doing massages in the nude, that he was leaving his bikini underwear on. I said that was nuts...that the bf was living off the income from the sexual services, was ok or at least resigned to the erotic massages, but wanted his bf to hide the family jewels? I said, "Just tell him you're leaving the bikini on when you are with a client, and then do what you want. You don't have to tell your bf everything...everyone has secrets." He said, "I can? Oh wow. I didn't know I could do that." Off came the bikini and he happily continues to provide the nude interactive services as before. Ah, an inexperienced youth.
If a massage provider decides to take certain options off the table, you can decide to take your business elsewhere or continue under the new arrangement. If you were a previous customer you could ask if erotic was still available for you or not, but realize their reasons are their own. Whether the provider's reasons are for personal relationships or something else IS. NONE. OF. YOUR. BUSINESS. You're paying for a rub and maybe a tug, not a right to their personal life beyond what they choose to share.
