Oakman

Sure Jan.

Thank you, though there isn’t much information here to google and read about these cases.

Thanks. Just read about that one. Yikes! I feel so badly for those men. But also six years ago? I don’t know much about Dawson County GA. I suppose men in rural/conservative regions have a greater need for precaution. The PD and DA in SF would never do that.

Can anyone cite a single arrest and conviction in their city or state (in the US) for solicitation involving two adult men using an app like RM where trafficking, theft, violence, or coercion wasn’t a factor? Please don’t respond with hypotheticals or arguments. I understand what risks are involved. I am genuinely interested to see if there is any record of a law enforcement agency that pursues these kinds of infractions. Again, not picking a fight here, just looking for enlightenment.

You’re allowed to skip the pleasantries if you want to. It’s your hour.

There isn’t a police department or law enforcement agency in the county that has time to waste on this sort of thing. Sex work is only pursued as a crime in instances of trafficking, pimping, code violations (brothels) and street walking. The notion that an agency has time to go after individual Johns through internet stings is just unrealistic, given the need for law enforcement resources on other matters.

Ask yourself if you really enjoy being a character in a soap opera.

His provider name is literally telling me everything I need to know without even seeing the photos or opening the link. If I had a sore back, I wouldn’t go to this guy. If I wanted a sore back, I would go see him. There is nothing confusing about this - his branding is super effective.

This hobby shouldn’t be causing you so much distress. You have relationship needs which cannot be met in paid increments, regardless of who the provider is. I am a regular customer at a restaurant in San Francisco. I know the owner, the manager, the chef, and the servers by name. We enjoy seeing each other when I come in to eat. Our time together is positive, enthusiastic and full of mutual gratitude. They take great care of me, and I pay my bill and leave nice tips. We even chat a bit about our personal lives and offer each other genuine emotional support from time to time. Our relationship is authentic, but professional. I don’t expect the restaurant staff to buy my groceries or cook my meals at home. I don’t expect them to arrange a healthy diet for me. I don’t expect them to teach me how to cook. I don’t bother them unless I am coming in to eat. Hiring providers is like going to a restaurant. Having relationships is like eating at home. I encourage you to eat out less and learn how to cook at home.

I don’t consider it odd, just some gents putting out services in as many locations as possible and trying to make some coin. It doesn’t take too much effort to discern which guys are selling certified, professional massage services (on either site) and which are selling sexy times. Some men can do both. if you are looking for certified professional massage, “red flags” would be lack of certification, no photos of a massage studio, no supporting reviews, and no biographical information intelligently discussing massage technique. Namaste.

If you are lonely or desire companionship, you certainly aren’t going to solve that problem by hiring more. You would probably pay less much less for weekly psychotherapy than you currently are for providers.

Bump again - how does this giant not have any discussion yet?

Nailed it. Not your boyfriend. Leave the guy alone unless you’re buying time from him.

This points to two scenarios: 1. Bullshit provider account. 2. Provider is incapable of managing his own photos on his own phone and is for some reason using screenshots of himself that he took from his own Grindr. Do you really want to get involved with either scenario?

Anyone else had an experience with AxelZar? I am in awe 🤩

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100% of whatever you agreed to pay the provider goes to the provider, usually without taxes. A tip is provided to a service worker, usually in gratitude and to offset an otherwise low hourly wage set by someone else. Your whole payment is a tip. If you want to go extra because you want to cultivate a good, regular playmate, go for it. But there is absolutely no Emily Post mandated requirement that says you ought to provide a little extra to a person who sets his own hourly fee.

Gosh, I just cannot imagine spending money for a “maybe” scenario where there’s a solid chance I’d go home sexually frustrated.

Son, your escort is “capturing your soul” for an hourly rate. If he’s good at his job it will feel like a dream come true for you. When he’s done with you, he goes home to the man he chooses to hang out with for free. We all dream about extending the fantasy full time. But if you intend to maintain access to the part-time, paid fantasy, you will need to give your escort professional distance, wish his relationship well, and not intrude in that part of his life.

I see a regular once a month. If a traveling provider catches my eye, I’ll do that too. Altogether about 15 - 18 times per year and $5,250 - $6,300 spent.

There is a very high likelihood that the guy you are paying to get you off is in a sex positive relationship. It sounds like your “guilt” is rooted in belief in the sacrosanctity of coupled relationships, which is a very strange hang-up in a forum dedicated to discussing paid sex work. I do feel guilt about wasting money. But I’ve never had a second thought about a provider’s personal life because I have neither responsibility nor control there.

Is this something you have personal experience with? I don’t generally believe in being judgmental about the sort of things that get other guys off, so I am pretty open minded about this kind of relationship (or hire). Lots of people spend their money in ways that some others may find perplexing. In fact, I think most people find the idea of hiring for sexual experiences in general to be objectionable, so I don’t really see the need for being judgmental toward findom/cashpigs in this forum. I am really curious about what is satisfying for the cashpig, and what the hustle actually entails for the provider.

Everyone is so different, and there is a provider out there for seemingly every desire. I look for guys who are my height or taller and more muscular than me. I avoid lots of tattoos though a few are OK. I prefer a big dick, but can certainly work with an average guy if he’s got the right attitude. I avoid guys who look like they are gogo, dancers, or influencers or who are trying to run an Onlyfans hustle.I honestly do not care if a man has an ugly face. As a matter of fact, I tend to be a little bit put off by guys with very perfect looking faces.

I hire providers to give me what I can’t otherwise get from a hook up app. I am a big, confident, muscular guy and give off a serious daddy vibe. It is impossible for me to find, in San Francisco, guys who can take control and be dominant with me. I have plenty of opportunity to find eager, submissive boys. So, the guys I hire need to bring some fun, dominant energy. I leave the role-play question entirely up to them. I just say that I want to feel owned or used, and that I want them to do whatever feels great for them without regard for my needs.

There are plenty of providers who will rely on client desperation to overrule good judgment. If a provider is unwilling to post enough photos to give you an honest representation of what you’ll be seeing when you show up, they are most likely going to be a disappointment to you. It is perfectly possible to maintain privacy and still provide enough body shots that you know what you’re getting into. Pictures taken at odd angles or with extreme close-ups or strange lighting, generally mean that the person posting the photos is being dishonest or delusional in their self representation. Personally, I do not need to see a provider’s face. Nor am I impressed by professional photography. A handful of photos that can give me a sense of what the man’s body looks like, what equipment he’s working with, and his general taste level are sufficient. Pair that with some intelligible ad copy and I am good to go.