Rgsnva

Or don't do those things if you are operating on the DL.  I wouldn't care if someone threatened to show photos of me to my friends because the only photos someone would receive from me are the ones I would put up on a site like Adam4Adam.  Typically I don't have full frontal shots that show my face, but obviously someone could attempt to put the face photo and naked torso together to "prove" it's me.  That never really mattered to me, though, since no one would be surprised that I'm gay and that I look for sex with men online. 
No one deserves to be blackmailed (obviously).  I'm on the side of those saying that it makes more sense to call the blackmailer's bluff by indicating you will contact law enforcement if they continue to harass you after you block their initial number.  Never give into a blackmailer's threats by giving them money.  Why would anyone assume that someone who is willing to do that is a man of his word who will stop the blackmailing after they get the money they want?  All paying their demand accomplishes is identifying you as someone who is so worried about their threats that you are willing to send them money.

I was the victim of blackmail on Sniffies. Guy reached out, we shared conversation which was pleasant. He asked for my cell which I foolishly provided. Next day he texted about a meet up, sending me racy pics, and asking me to do the same, asking me my experience, my marital status. I was a complete fool and shared all that. You know what happened next: text with all my texts and photos, threats to contact my wife, website info on those close to me, demand for money. I freaked. Paid him in Amex gift card, bitcoin, etc until nothing seemed like it would make it stop. With the help and encouragement of another gentleman on here, I cut all ties, pulled all social media and waited it out. It’s been 7 months and no contact. It was the worst time in my life, bar none. I was humiliated, bullied, and in fear. I’m totally freaked now by the pickup sites. Lesson: never share your cell number, real name, or any personal info about yourself until you can totally trust the person you’re talking to. 

visit  police

This comment is totally uncalled for. Either you are saying rgsnva is a liar or you are blaming the victim. Neither is acceptable.

Something is amiss.
You hired him a few times and wasn't a great experience?
So after your first not-great experience why did you have a second?  After your second not-great experience why did you have a third? So on and so forth.
How many is a few? Five? Ten?
Do you live in an area where this guy is your only option?
There has to be more here that you aren't telling us. This story just doesn't pass the smell test.
BoZo
 
 

I think he might need more that two guards if they're only 7-inches tall.  Or did you mean long? 

 

It sounds like he's trying to create a scary situation for you because it's easier to get what he wants amidst the darkness of fear.  So maybe flip the lights on him.  Dispel that darkness by letting him know that if he continues this ridiculous course of behaviour you will have no hesitancy contacting the appropriate authorities, and that your patience is now running thin.  Your time with him was based on the reasonable understanding that no donation for his time was being expected or requested.  It was a hookup that went badly - those things happen.  It should not rob you of your power or turn you into a target.  Assure him that he has more to lose since blackmail is a felony in most places, and can result in serious jail time if he decides to continue with these absurd antics.

Well let me say,  I don't do well with negative drama and certainly someone who is threatening me.    I would probably be the first to let the dude know that I'm not subject to extortion or threats for money.     But I'm not you or don't know your situation.
I do think this kind of experience  should be discussed.   There are always two sides to a disagreement,  but providing facts,   like a written conversation)  is helpful in proving your point.    I'd certainly go to the police before I'd ever "cave"  to any sort of blackmail.    I just think it is unfortunate that these kinds of experiences happen.

Taking the easiest course of action is not always the right thing to do. But in this case it seems like a no-brainer. Pay him off. Not because he is right but because you deserve to have peace in your life. It’s not a guarantee that it will make it go away but there’s a pretty good chance it will work. 
 
I give you this advice as someone who recently had 6k stolen from me. My lawyer assures me I could get that money back, plus attorney fees as well. All it will cost me is my emotional heath and a couple of years of my life. I’m walking away. 
 
Take the easy route, not the I’m-right-and-he’s-victimizing-me route. 

I am sorry that you have to go through all of this. It is upsetting when people take such direct and personal action. The anxiety caused by these events can be horrible. I hope you have a trusted friend that you can share with who help you handle the emotional side of this experience. If it goes beyond that maybe consider a therapist or counselor.

Would it just be cheaper to go ahead and pay him? Or would that encourage him to keep coming after you? I guess if he's made such a commotion so far he is a real psycho who won't stop. Know you're sick about all this. I'm so sorry. Had a similar experience with a fellow many years ago. It was more emotional blackmail but of course it did involve money. He finally just went away. It's a terrible feeling to be so taken advantage of. Getting a lawyer, or at least talking with a trusted friend who knows the law is a good idea. It's nice to know one is not alone in these situations. You are not.

Just get all his info from the web or hire a private eye to follow him. Get all the dirt and then send it to to your favorite media outlets and police anonymously.
Most importantly, cut off all communication. Keep the documentation but block him on everything. Also go dark on social media. He's prob getting all this info from there. You may also want to hire private security. He won't be so cocky when two 7 foot tall ex cons bury his face into the pavement. 
Ultimately, and this is the saddest part, is you let your guard down. Your bullshit detectors weren't working properly. Probably because you were horny. 🚀🤯
I had a guy once try and extort me after he scammed me. I called a lawyer and he said he had as much to lose as you do. So he's not going to the police. It's extortion at this point. 
Finally, if you do go to the police make sure you bring a lawyer. Better yet get a lawyer now. 

Love that guideline!

Thanks for posting the question.  I wish I’d read it 6 months ago.  I’m fairly new at being a client (about a year and a half), but my preconceived notions about what the providers would be like was far from accurate.  I didn’t think they’d be jerks, but I didn’t really expect to find them so likable either (which was crappy of me).  Not my wheelhouse - but I suspect that to be successful at being a provider, you have to care enough about the people who hire you, and be kind and empathetic enough to tap into what they want and need, so they have a good time and come back to you.  In other words, to be good at it, you have to be a good guy.  I had a bad experience, and I’m glad he wasn’t my first or I wouldn’t have done it again, but I’ve also met some good men.  So I hope it’s possible to be friends, if the opportunity presents. The provider who has become my regular is a good guy, we have some stuff in common, and we like doing things together. We’ve had VERY open conversation about what has to happen for any friendship to work (partly because he watched me get burned), and we seem to agree that the communication is key, but also ground rules, because he has a living to earn and I respect that.  Right now, the current agreement is that if he initiates getting together, regardless of what occurs or doesn’t, it’s social.  If I initiate, it’s business, at the going rate for his time. If there’s an exception, it’s clearly made and agreed upon when the invitation happens.  He tends to be generous, and I’ve had to say a couple of times “no, it’s been x hours, so that’s not enough.” I’m trying to be conscientious about that.  It seems to be working.  
 
 

Thanks for posting the question.  I wish I’d read it 6 months ago.  I’m fairly new at being a client (about a year and a half), but my preconceived notions about what the providers would be like was far from accurate.  I didn’t think they’d be jerks, but I didn’t really expect to find them so likable either (which was crappy of me).  Not my wheelhouse - but I suspect that to be successful at being a provider, you have to care enough about the people who hire you, and be kind and empathetic enough to tap into what they want and need, so they have a good time and come back to you.  In other words, to be good at it, you have to be a good guy.  I had a bad experience, and I’m glad he wasn’t my first or I wouldn’t have done it again, but I’ve also met some good men.  So I hope it’s possible to be friends, if the opportunity presents. The provider who has become my regular is a good guy, we have some stuff in common, and we like doing things together. We’ve had VERY open conversation about what has to happen for any friendship to work (partly because he watched me get burned), and we seem to agree that the communication is key, but also ground rules, because he has a living to earn and I respect that.  Right now, the current agreement is that if he initiates getting together, regardless of what occurs or doesn’t, it’s social.  If I initiate, it’s business, at the going rate for his time. If there’s an exception, it’s clearly made and agreed upon when the invitation happens.  He tends to be generous, and I’ve had to say a couple of times “no, it’s been x hours, so that’s not enough.” I’m trying to be conscientious about that.  It seems to be working.  
 
 

Thanks for posting the question.  I wish I’d read it 6 months ago.  I’m fairly new at being a client (about a year and a half), but my preconceived notions about what the providers would be like was far from accurate.  I didn’t think they’d be jerks, but I didn’t really expect to find them so likable either (which was crappy of me).  Not my wheelhouse - but I suspect that to be successful at being a provider, you have to care enough about the people who hire you, and be kind and empathetic enough to tap into what they want and need, so they have a good time and come back to you.  In other words, to be good at it, you have to be a good guy.  I had a bad experience, and I’m glad he wasn’t my first or I wouldn’t have done it again, but I’ve also met some good men.  So I hope it’s possible to be friends, if the opportunity presents. The provider who has become my regular is a good guy, we have some stuff in common, and we like doing things together. We’ve had VERY open conversation about what has to happen for any friendship to work (partly because he watched me get burned), and we seem to agree that the communication is key, but also ground rules, because he has a living to earn and I respect that.  Right now, the current agreement is that if he initiates getting together, regardless of what occurs or doesn’t, it’s social.  If I initiate, it’s business, at the going rate for his time. If there’s an exception, it’s clearly made and agreed upon when the invitation happens.  He tends to be generous, and I’ve had to say a couple of times “no, it’s been x hours, so that’s not enough.” I’m trying to be conscientious about that.  It seems to be working.  
 
 

Thanks for the input.   I am really appreciating this conversation.    Because of my own professional background,   I think it is accurate to say that regardless of whether one is an attorney, financial advisor or even doctor,  there are similarities.    I maintain friendships with clients,  regardless of the type,  some were friends prior,  others have come about during the professional  relationship.   I have found again,  that a distinction between  ones "friendship:  and professional conduct is essential for success.     My friends know that I'm very diligent with my services provided clients,  whether friends or not.

I’ve been that guy who fell hard for a provider, but after several sessions, not just one.  It’s not so much a loneliness thing or something unattractive guys do (I don’t think I’m either).   I think for some of us that level of intimacy just inspires an emotional bond.  I have to be pretty careful to reign it in.  Try to be nice to him - among other things, it can be embarrassing when you realize it.  

I’ve been that guy who fell hard for a provider, but after several sessions, not just one.  It’s not so much a loneliness thing or something unattractive guys do (I don’t think I’m either).   I think for some of us that level of intimacy just inspires an emotional bond.  I have to be pretty careful to reign it in.  Try to be nice to him - among other things, it can be embarrassing when you realize it.  

I met him last December.  4 times, 2 overnights since then. It’s been great every time.  I could fall in love with him!

I took the plunge on this fine specimen, and I do recommend. Highly engaged, interactive and present the entire time. Takes direction well, great communication and aims to please. Not a clock watcher, gives his full attention and if you wrap up the fun a little early will offer a massage and great conversation. The entire experience felt genuine, it didn’t feel like I was hiring him, just  having a great time with a sexy friend. 

Welcome--I see you joined the board 8 minutes ago!

Here’s a 411: I spent this morning dodging threatening texts from RamseyRamsey.  Full-on extortion.  Demanding money and sending screenshots of contact info for people I work with.  Reported it to RM and they did nothing.  I had to delete my RM profile today.  I honestly think he’s going to call my employer.  And I’ll be pressing charges.