Rgsnva

He was my first hire, and I was nervous af about it.  He made me feel comfortable really quickly and it was great all around.  Seen him 3 times since, once for an overnighter.  Very engaged, very attentive, tremendous kisser! Also just a good guy, intelligent, funny, fun to talk to.  Definitely go for it if you’re considering.  

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In DC usually.  Met him 4 times.   Hot af and a really nice guy. 

Right here…

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Ive met him several times.  Don’t hesitate to tell him it’s your first time.  He’s a very nice guy and he’ll make sure you feel comfortable.  He’s also all around hot af, and a lot of fun. I left some review's on RM, but feel free to message me here if you want more info than that.  

9 hours ago, Luv2play said:

His numerous videos look like they were taken with clients. Different from most RM ads which use 2 models. The bottoms have very ordinary bodies.

He also looks like he is making a strenuous effort at topping them.  lol

I noticed that too ☺️

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Anybody met him?

Me.  I “took the plunge” just this morning.  Was not as expensive as others have said - in line with DC fees.  And such a hot, sexy, fun guy.  I’m definitely going for a round two.  As for those saying he should call himself a total bttm, the awesome soreness I have this minute is evidence to the contrary.  lol

Just now had a negative experience with him similar to those listed years ago.  Wanted me to call, I wanted to ask a couple of simple questions first.  Blocked me.  Seems really temperamental.   

I met him in August in DC, had a great time.   Very personable and I was very comfortable with him pretty quickly.  Great kisser.  The XXL is NOT an exaggeration.  Traded several texts after, he was planning a weekend back here in October but it didn’t happen.  I’d definitely go for a round two. 

Y’all are good people.  Lots of good advice and support here.  Even the few I might not be 100% on board with, if I didn’t want your response I shouldn’t have asked the question, right? So I appreciate you all.  I’m glad I found this forum.  

6 hours ago, SirBillybob said:

Not to mention that the guy evidently reads posts here and can conclude unequivocally the source of his ad status change. 

I suppose I was having a “bring it on, asshole” moment.  

4 hours ago, Jarrod_Uncut said:

 

I have to agree with @BOZO T CLOWNand @Vin_Marco. Even though the situation is upsetting for sure, it just doesn’t seem right. But I can’t say necessarily one way or another.

Not sure why the provider would wait until the next day, and just not when he was there to ask for the phantom payment. Why would he leave, and then…

Wait, who went to whose place on this meeting in the first place?

And I agree with @DrownedBoy, it’s no reason to drag RentMen under the bus 🚌, and jeopardize every provider’s earning or give RentMen MORE reasons to lock us down MORE than they’ve already done (no nudes, no rates, no mention of even the word escort being allowed, etc.) They have no responsibility any more than Grindr, Adam, or your local gay bar or bath house has…for something happening to you, OUTSIDE of the venue at hand. It happens. And they won’t have any grounds to be shutdown, because it’s an advertising platform with no rates. 
 

I agree you should probably just settle and pay him a portion and see if that helps. You could always flip the script and say you’re going to look him up too, but: fire and fire equals: 💣 🌋 

However, I just don’t 100% see it. I mean to go from “you can’t afford it” to him saying “let’s do it anyway” just sounds too messy and confusing. Like wtf. Even if he said let’s do it anyway, I still woulda said: “I don’t want to cheat you BUT, let’s be clear this is a free service right? And reiterate that before and during meeting, and again after if you have to. 
 

But yeah…sounds crazy. I hate hearing stuff like this because then some clients run with stories like this, and call ANY escort who asks for payment for a cancelled or session that went longer than planned/parts of a session wasn’t expected a scammer/blackmailer/etc. Hell…I even think many gay dudes think we’re scammers just for the mere fact of trying to sell our services in the first place. It’s just sad. There doesn’t need to be all this animosity in the biz if people were just transparent from the get go. 

I think the only thing I’ll disagree with is about RM.  They do have some responsibility to both providers and clients to have some eye towards safety.  If someone can provide proof of something like this, which I can, it should be a no brainer for them to remove an individual, with a format for disputing if you get removed unjustly.  Other platforms do.  This is a thing that shouldn’t have to operate under the table anyway (meaning it should be legal) so I think we should hold them to the same standard.  
 

Re: the not paying and meeting him anyway…it was a stupid move, I get it.  But I’m not sure I see the reluctance to believe it.  No, he wasn’t something I’d pay for…but he said okay and  I…well… you’re horny and somebody's right there giving it away…it wasn’t reason and intellect calling the shots right then.  

Just now, Rgsnva said:

Oh no, maybe that wasn’t clear. He’s put some things on social media that someone not knowing wouldn’t recognize, but once you know some info they’re clearly threatening.  And his texts to me are far more direct.  I’ve got the evidence and plenty of it.  As for the info, I work in a school.  Schools put info about their faculty online.  If you Google my name, that’s the first thing that comes up. From there it would only take a click or two to find out who else works there.   I’m lucky about where I work (my parents and kids say Happy Pride to me in June even).  If I worked in a different place I could be in some deep shit.  My last name is on my Venmo account (I should change that), and from there I’m sure it was easy to find.  

As for going to RM, I’m tired of reading about how RM does nothing about anything. If I’m going down over this, at least nobody else will be next.  I may have done a ton of things wrong here, but that was a moral imperative.  

6 hours ago, Vin_Marco said:

For starters, I'm sorry this happened to you 😕 I feel like your post leaves more questions than immediate and obvious answers.  

Almost too many things here to respond to.... If it wasn't a very good experience, why the repeats? How did a rando know your workplace? And names of colleagues? It seems a bit weird to me... If these postings would look like "nothing to someone else", they obviously won't help convincing anyone. 

And then going to RM??? So the way you think you will get him off your  trail is to cut off this guy's means of advertising to anyone else??? Make it harder for him to see other people and he will let you alone???

I am not sure that you have anything yet to go to the police for since the so called violence threats look like "nothing to anyone else." You could have a stalking claim.

I wonder if I were in that position if I wouldn't keep blocking him. At least for a bit more. Although your going to RM may have lit a candle under the hustler that will be hard to put out now. 

I hate to read stuff like this but I'm glad there's a platform to discuss these types of encounters, hopefully lessons for us all on both sides of the fence. 

Oh no, maybe that wasn’t clear. He’s put some things on social media that someone not knowing wouldn’t recognize, but once you know some info they’re clearly threatening.  And his texts to me are far more direct.  I’ve got the evidence and plenty of it.  As for the info, I work in a school.  Schools put info about their faculty online.  If you Google my name, that’s the first thing that comes up. From there it would only take a click or two to find out who else works there.   I’m lucky about where I work (my parents and kids say Happy Pride to me in June even).  If I worked in a different place I could be in some deep shit.  My last name is on my Venmo account (I should change that), and from there I’m sure it was easy to find.  

6 hours ago, PiSquared said:

I was the victim of blackmail on Sniffies. Guy reached out, we shared conversation which was pleasant. He asked for my cell which I foolishly provided. Next day he texted about a meet up, sending me racy pics, and asking me to do the same, asking me my experience, my marital status. I was a complete fool and shared all that. You know what happened next: text with all my texts and photos, threats to contact my wife, website info on those close to me, demand for money. I freaked. Paid him in Amex gift card, bitcoin, etc until nothing seemed like it would make it stop. With the help and encouragement of another gentleman on here, I cut all ties, pulled all social media and waited it out. It’s been 7 months and no contact. It was the worst time in my life, bar none. I was humiliated, bullied, and in fear. I’m totally freaked now by the pickup sites. Lesson: never share your cell number, real name, or any personal info about yourself until you can totally trust the person you’re talking to. 

I’m sorry it happened to you too.  Full disclosure, I’m not on the DL in any way, so I’m not facing a complete breakdown of my life.  I can see, though, how terrified I’d be if I were.  There’s a sense of helplessness.  But it’s somewhat lessened by all the responses here. 

Thanks, all, for your thoughts and advice.  I’m resolute that I’m not giving him any money.  That’s a non-starter.  You’re all right he has more to lose than I do.  If he goes to my work. I won’t get fired or anything like that.  It might be embarrassing, but I’m retiring in June, so who cares.  But he will be in a boatload of trouble if he does.  He won’t go to cops - his crime is a lot more than mine.  

8 hours ago, BOZO T CLOWN said:

Something is amiss.

You hired him a few times and wasn't a great experience?
So after your first not-great experience why did you have a second?  After your second not-great experience why did you have a third? So on and so forth.
How many is a few? Five? Ten?

Do you live in an area where this guy is your only option?
There has to be more here that you aren't telling us. This story just doesn't pass the smell test.

BoZo

 

 

No, that’s the whole thing.  The first time didn’t rock my world, but not awful either.  After the second I wouldn’t have hired again. And didn’t.  I was clear about not paying, he said no worries.  Why did I see him after that?  It was a different thing, I guess.  We even had a pretty long conversation about how it would be different if I wasn’t a client.  I guess I can’t answer it any better than to say I thought I’d give it a whirl.  But it’s a valid question. 

If this isn't the appropriate forum, please feel free to move my question elsewhere.  I've seen discussions on this but more about avoiding it, but it's happening and I need to do something.  I posted about the provider the other day - the gist is I hired him a few times, wasn't a great experience, so I left him alone but he kept texting/messaging me.  I finally told him I couldn't pay anymore because of financial issues.  At which point he said he had a good time, so "let's do it anyway."  Well, the day after that meeting he sent me a payment request via Venmo.  When I reminded him, he said he didn't remember me telling him that, and that he was probably drunk.  (I have our entire communication history on my phone, it's all there clear as day, but he's not interested.) But anyway, he's demanding payment and it's getting more threatening by the day.  I blocked his number but he seems to be using every phone he can get a hand on to message me.  He's threatened to go to my workplace.  He has sent me screenshots of colleagues contact into that he's found online.  He, or someone with him, has posted NextDoor postings that look like nothing to someone else, but are clearly veiled threats of physical violence, showing up at my house, etc.  

I'm at a point, I think, where I have to go to police.  Has anybody ever done that?  Is it a terrible idea?  Would I be throwing myself to the wolves along with him?

I did, believe it or not, get RM to take his profile off.  I told them my workplace where he keeps saying he's coming is a school.  Bring it on dumbass - he'll find himself surrounded by 3 resource officers with weapons drawn.  I said to RM that then there'll be news reports - you want to see his profile from your site on the evening news?  Then they'll shut you down and you'll cost all these good people their jobs. An hour later, I got a very nice letter apologizing for leaving it up and telling me it's been removed.

But I digress...I still need some good, practical advice here.  I'll probably head to a police station after work this afternoon to make a report - unless y'all think that's a terrible idea.  Thoughts? Next steps? Is the cops a bad idea? I'd of course prefer not to go to jail myself.  Thanks, all.

Thanks for posting the question.  I wish I’d read it 6 months ago.  I’m fairly new at being a client (about a year and a half), but my preconceived notions about what the providers would be like was far from accurate.  I didn’t think they’d be jerks, but I didn’t really expect to find them so likable either (which was crappy of me).  Not my wheelhouse - but I suspect that to be successful at being a provider, you have to care enough about the people who hire you, and be kind and empathetic enough to tap into what they want and need, so they have a good time and come back to you.  In other words, to be good at it, you have to be a good guy.  I had a bad experience, and I’m glad he wasn’t my first or I wouldn’t have done it again, but I’ve also met some good men.  So I hope it’s possible to be friends, if the opportunity presents. The provider who has become my regular is a good guy, we have some stuff in common, and we like doing things together. We’ve had VERY open conversation about what has to happen for any friendship to work (partly because he watched me get burned), and we seem to agree that the communication is key, but also ground rules, because he has a living to earn and I respect that.  Right now, the current agreement is that if he initiates getting together, regardless of what occurs or doesn’t, it’s social.  If I initiate, it’s business, at the going rate for his time. If there’s an exception, it’s clearly made and agreed upon when the invitation happens.  He tends to be generous, and I’ve had to say a couple of times “no, it’s been x hours, so that’s not enough.” I’m trying to be conscientious about that.  It seems to be working.  

I’ve been that guy who fell hard for a provider, but after several sessions, not just one.  It’s not so much a loneliness thing or something unattractive guys do (I don’t think I’m either).   I think for some of us that level of intimacy just inspires an emotional bond.  I have to be pretty careful to reign it in.  Try to be nice to him - among other things, it can be embarrassing when you realize it.  

Here’s a 411: I spent this morning dodging threatening texts from RamseyRamsey.  Full-on extortion.  Demanding money and sending screenshots of contact info for people I work with.  Reported it to RM and they did nothing.  I had to delete my RM profile today.  I honestly think he’s going to call my employer.  And I’ll be pressing charges.  

I really like him in film, so jumped at it when I saw him visiting dc.  Great guy, great time all round.  He took a break for a few months but back to escorting now.  He’s pretty ripped now, too. 

I met him this summer in DC.  So awesome, erotic and sexy af.  And…um…huge.  Very comfortable to be around.  And the massage after was great too.  

I met him last December.  4 times, 2 overnights since then. It’s been great every time.  I could fall in love with him!