littlenut

He’s like a Mercedes. it’s a nice looking model, but out of my price range. And even if I had the means to pay for it, as much as I would enjoy riding in it, I’d be thinking the whole time that there are less expensive models that would be just as enjoyable and get me where I need to go.

Have twice made appointments with him, that he cancelled shortly (same day) before meeting. The second time was “due to illness”... but then he was posting on his Instagram account later that day. I suppose there are scenarios where he was truly under the weather and then posting pictures of himself socializing a few hours later, but I don’t feel like doing the mental gymnastics to get there. I decided it was easier to scroll past his ad in the future.

Ad includes “#sober” and “#pnp”.
 
Interesting combo.

He’s like a Mercedes. it’s a nice looking model, but out of my price range. And even if I had the means to pay for it, as much as I would enjoy riding in it, I’d be thinking the whole time that there are less expensive models that would be just as enjoyable and get me where I need to go.

He’s like a Mercedes. it’s a nice looking model, but out of my price range. And even if I had the means to pay for it, as much as I would enjoy riding in it, I’d be thinking the whole time that there are less expensive models that would be just as enjoyable and get me where I need to go.

He’s like a Mercedes. it’s a nice looking model, but out of my price range. And even if I had the means to pay for it, as much as I would enjoy riding in it, I’d be thinking the whole time that there are less expensive models that would be just as enjoyable and get me where I need to go.

He’s like a Mercedes. it’s a nice looking model, but out of my price range. And even if I had the means to pay for it, as much as I would enjoy riding in it, I’d be thinking the whole time that there are less expensive models that would be just as enjoyable and get me where I need to go.

He’s like a Mercedes. it’s a nice looking model, but out of my price range. And even if I had the means to pay for it, as much as I would enjoy riding in it, I’d be thinking the whole time that there are less expensive models that would be just as enjoyable and get me where I need to go.

Oh no! Well, I suppose that’s great if it makes him happy, but... he was always on my list of guys to meet.
 
At least I’ll still have his scene in The Horseman with Tommy Defendi. Top 5 for me.

Yep. It isn’t unusual to have contractors ask for a deposit if they are going to work on repairs or updates to your home. But (1) the deposit typically serves the purpose of buying materials to work on your job, and *most importantly* (2) you would have a signed contract with the contractor doing business with you, which protects both parties.
 
In lieu of having signed contracts in this field, I would never be comfortable with a deposit. What’s the purpose of the deposit? If I’m paying you for time or activities performed, then I will pay you once I’ve received your time and activities performed. If I’m paying you so you’ll trust me, then you’ve already indicated that you don’t trust me, so I’m not comfortable continuing the relationship.
 
I’m sure there are other views on it, but that outlines why I will never be comfortable with the concept of a deposit.

Well, that‘s probably fair. And I would also point out that clients are extending the same level of trust to providers. I’m sure any person with a long track record of hiring has stories of providers who no-show, who aren’t who they advertised to be, who arrive under the influence, etc. (Even providers who are well-reviewed here.) Trust is a two-way street.
 
I know certain providers require a phone conversation with clients ahead of time. I’ve always thought this is a good idea, and am surprised more don’t practice this. This can help to build trust between the two of you, while not being so off-putting and risky as demanding payment up front.

Well, that‘s probably fair. And I would also point out that clients are extending the same level of trust to providers. I’m sure any person with a long track record of hiring has stories of providers who no-show, who aren’t who they advertised to be, who arrive under the influence, etc. (Even providers who are well-reviewed here.) Trust is a two-way street.
 
I know certain providers require a phone conversation with clients ahead of time. I’ve always thought this is a good idea, and am surprised more don’t practice this. This can help to build trust between the two of you, while not being so off-putting and risky as demanding payment up front.

The inference is that he feels he’s satisfied everything by providing a wall of generic text in order to merit a deposit. He won’t hear a client out before proceeding. The wall of text is, arguably, a way to keep from engaging clients. I suspect most clients won’t engage after that. Perhaps that’s his motive. But to me it shows he doesn’t feel like clients are individuals but rather all very generic and he can satisfy that with a tumblr post. Perhaps he only offers a generic text experience. I wouldn’t know he because he won’t engage enough beyond his wall of text to know.
 
I have given deposits after having been burnt. I’m just not doing it until I’m reasonably certain the provider is going to be able to do what I’m looking for and will get some level of enjoyment out it – or be able to make believe he is. I’m not anti-deposit. It’s just that in order for me to give a deposit the provider needs to be able to reasonably assure me will provide me what I’m looking for – not just some generic explanation about this or that. His generic explanation is not a lot different than many others, so we really have no good idea what we’re getting with him anymore than the next guy. All that, from that wall of text, is inference until questions are answered.

Oh, definitely. I never questioned my unwillingness to pay a deposit, but what it made me question was him.
 
I’m not suggesting he’s a scam artist. But his “confirmation policy” is... trying to find the right word... long-winded? And there’s a section that suggests by paying the deposit, he’ll like you “more”, which rubbed me entirely the wrong way.
 
Ultimately, when asking for a deposit, you can’t effectively position it with a “What? Don’t you trust me?” sentiment. By scheduling time with you, I trust that you look like your pictures, I trust that you are the person in the description, I trust that you’re disease-free (unless otherwise stated), I trust that you’re not undercover. So, yes, to a degree I trust you. Do you trust me?
 
I understand his policy, and I respect it enough to discontinue the conversation and not waste either of our time.
 
I have more thoughts based on his responses to me, but probably enough to leave it at that.

Met with him. Do NOT hire him, because Jay and I will be getting married and living our years out naked on an island in the South Pacific.
 
He was great, and my only hesitation in saying that is I don’t want to share him with anyone else. ?

I most likely would pay him the full amount, although it would depend on the circumstances. If he lost it half way through the allotted time, and decided he would just bolt out the door, then probably not. But if he apologized, and continued to interact with you, then yes.

Still there, modified name:
 
https://rent.men/HungIvyLeagueVrs

Met with him. Do NOT hire him, because Jay and I will be getting married and living our years out naked on an island in the South Pacific.
 
He was great, and my only hesitation in saying that is I don’t want to share him with anyone else. ?

Met with him. Do NOT hire him, because Jay and I will be getting married and living our years out naked on an island in the South Pacific.
 
He was great, and my only hesitation in saying that is I don’t want to share him with anyone else. ?

Met with him. Do NOT hire him, because Jay and I will be getting married and living our years out naked on an island in the South Pacific.
 
He was great, and my only hesitation in saying that is I don’t want to share him with anyone else. ?

Met with him. Do NOT hire him, because Jay and I will be getting married and living our years out naked on an island in the South Pacific.
 
He was great, and my only hesitation in saying that is I don’t want to share him with anyone else. ?

Met with him. Do NOT hire him, because Jay and I will be getting married and living our years out naked on an island in the South Pacific.
 
He was great, and my only hesitation in saying that is I don’t want to share him with anyone else. ?

Fair enough. I came away with a very different feeling from his “confirmation policies”. Since it’s on a public tumblr page, it should be okay to share the part in question, and people can make up their own mind.
“In order for us to have a high quality time from the start, including starting from this text exchange, I strongly prefer you give me a vouch of trust (it’ll make me like you more. When you insinuate I’m a scammer, that doesn’t make me like you very much: not great for someone you’re going to have sex with, so things already don’t start off great).”
 

That’s fine. Clients, too, have been burned, so hopefully we’re all approaching each other with open minds.
 

Okay. Not sure exactly who or what this is in reference to, but perhaps I missed some conversations up thread, which I only skimmed through.

It‘s been over a year since I’ve hired, but recently started looking again. So I’ve been out of the loop on him.
 
I contacted him, agreed on a time, and while I thought the rates were a little high ($780/2 hr), they weren’t *that* much more than what I’d pay for 2 hrs including tip.
 
Then I got the “deposit required” text. Some interesting back and forth transpired - nothing bad, all very polite and respectful. Out of courtesy to the provider, I’ll leave the details of that conversation out, but it did make me question some things. Ultimately, I’m afraid I’ll have to pass. He has his policies, and I have mine.