RyanDean

I was born the same year as Stonewall, which puts me in the age cohort that the term GenX was invented for. And my segment of GenX is often described as the generation that came of age during a tumultuous time of exciting and terrifying change (before/after home video, before/after MTV, before/after the fall of the Berlin wall, before/after AIDS, before/after the internet). I was also very precocious, looked to be in my later teens even in my earliest teen years, and intentionally sought out anonymous sexual encounters with men before the word AIDS was being mentioned on national news broadcasts. I was lucky. Most of my comparably sexually precocious peers were consumed by the same diseases (and addictions) that swept away so many of the men ahead of us, age-wise. But for much of my 20s, I lived in NYC and considered myself a professional homosexual, working as an attendant in a gay sex club, as an "operator" for a gay phone sex line and as a producer for a gay theatre. In those years, I attended so many memorials/funerals, joined more protests than I can count and was part of (or party to) so much sex. Such a formatively fun and painful cluster of years. I left NYC shortly after Giuliani was first elected, right about about when the "cocktail" was being introduced, right before RENT and Ellen both came out, and right as lesbian/gay mainstream visibility went from covert to overt in what felt like a matter of seconds -- largely thanks to the internet. It's hard for me sometimes to even wrap my brain around what is was like to find other gay men before I had dial up... Professionally, I spend a lot of time with LGBTQ+ young adults born in the later 1990s and early 2000s and it's a daily adventure for me to try to bridge the distance to the recent past (ie the first half of my life), while also learning from them about what they're seeing, feeling and experiencing now -- in this incredibly tumultuous time of exciting and terrifying change that we're all living in. We might as well have grown up on different planets, given how different their young lives have been, but they're often very (if quietly) curious to know more about what it was like "before" -- not so much because they want to be like me or have a life like mine but mostly because they are (like most of my friends were at that age) looking for a way to live happily in a world that doesn't feel designed for their happiness. All of which is to say: for me, being an elder is about witnessing what younger folks are experiencing, inviting those who are able/interested to also witness what you have experienced and, in so doing, learning with (not from) each other...

Putting aside the physiological/medical dimensions of drug/alcohol addictions, I do think hiring can easily tap into one's propensity toward compulsive behavior.

My pandemic isolation took me through all 21 series of Silent Witness. Also burned through the full runs of Line of Duty, Vera, Death in Paradise and Unforgotten. I've come to prefer grit &/or ghosts to twee or twitchy detectives, and definitely like it when a series takes me to a part of the commonwealth I've not much thought about (ie TheGloaming being set in Tasmania)...

A couple weeks ago I marked my 19th year of sobriety; the same week I attended the funeral of a beloved childhood friend -- with whom I had recently reconnected -- who died as a result of severe chronic alcohol abuse. Seeing her family (including her teen daughter) underscored what folks in 12step programs sometimes call the "cunning, baffling, powerful" potency of addiction's destructive force. As I sat in the funeral home, I was also reminded what a counselor told me in my first year of sobriety, when I was trying to draw a very clear line that I hadn't entertained suicidal ideation. She said, "There are two ways to commit suicide: quick ways and slow ways. Alcoholism is a really slow way to kill yourself." I don't know how many times she said that to how many patients but, for me, it was a revelation. Another statement that completely blew me away -- though I can't recall who said it -- was: "At first, drugs and alcohol can feel like a great new friend, like a running buddy who makes everything more fun or more tolerable, but -- when addiction takes hold -- that new friendship turns into an abusive relationship, where the drug/drink starts taking priority over everything and everyone else in your life until you have nothing and no one else." At my friend's funeral, I wracked my brain over whether or not I had "come out" about my sobriety when I recently connected with my friend. Her sister wondered aloud, "I wish she had known you were sober; maybe she could have talked to you." A day or so later, I remembered. I did mention my sobriety to my friend, and she congratulated me on my time. It was also in that moment that I wondered whether she was drinking "too much" but I said nothing. I get sad when I think of what might have been a missed opportunity to stay on the topic of my sobriety for a moment or two longer. I am also effectively estranged from another one of my childhood friends -- the person I considered my "best friend" for nearly four decades -- because of his unresolved addiction issues. (Nineteen years ago we got sober at the same time; my sobriety stuck but his did not.) I see him occasionally, and do respond to the occasional facebook message, but I chose to close the open door/heart I had given to him for most of my life. There is a place in my heart that will always be his, and I would so love to welcome him back into it and into my life but -- unless and until he returns to a path of healing that doesn't prioritize drugs/alcohol/drama -- I must hold him (as they sometimes say in Al-Anon) at a "loving distance." PS: If a gay-friendly Al-Anon group meets in your area, @BeamerBikes, you might consider visiting a meeting. They will understand what you're going through.

@Coolwave35 - I believe you have an announcement to make?

totally fun. especially seeing all the forum folk.

Nobody does it like you, @Coolwave35!

@Xavitv! I hope we'll be able to meet in-person this Saturday!

Official hours are typically "7pm-2am (Please try to arrive by 9pm)"...

Starting this thread because I'm always on the prowl for good Brit-stery series... Some of my all time faves include Broadchurch (UK) & Hinterland (Wales) but recently found LondonKills (UK) and TheGloaming (AUS) quite diverting. Right now I'm working my way through TheGulf (NZ)...

SIX did win the Tony for best score.

I'll be going to the Saturday (can't on Sunday, alas)... I suspect it will be like the regular nude parties, but with a slightly more stacked roster of talent and probably a slightly heightened energy. My guess is that @Coolwave35 will be there (possibly for both nights) as well.

Ha! If they had showed up with cameramen, @Kevin Slater, that might have been better -- at least it would have suggested they had some investment in creating a good scene... But, in answer to your question, @StLouisOct: both were somehow disengaged and too aggressive -- which is to say, they were not really attending to me or my response (I can enjoy someone being aggressive if it's rooted in a connection of some kind) but they seemed to be just running through the motions... One even seemed to have some kind of routine coordinated with his playlist (which I know can be a way of keeping to time) but got annoyed when I indicated I didn't want to go where he was heading. This playlist-routine guy -- who was the worse of the two -- also had a kinda nasty apartment and really boring porn playing on a tiny tv. Just basic, tedious boilerplate stuff... (I've been very fortunate that none of my hires have ever gone really sour or have gotten at all dangerous.) FUN FACT: both of these gents were (and remain) well-reviewed, both within this community and on the hiring platforms.

One of the things I truly enjoy about this hobby are those (usually unexpected) moments when I vividly recall something about an encounter with a gent... And then today I happened to stumble across a trailer for a porn video featuring not one but two of my past hires -- both looking quite good -- in a scene together! The kicker? Each of these gents stand out in my memory as being among my all-time WORST hiring experiences. And there they are, perhaps appropriately, together at last...

I do not know. Perhaps one of the other porn-sleuths on here might provide an affirmative ID. All I can confirm is that, based on the inclusion of the scene in Retrosmut, this scene was produced in the early 1990s & was probably part of a Vivid Video release.

Is this your Hercule, @swallows22?

@alexslaveboy it's probably worth asking him about Atlantic City? He's in very good shape (at least he was this past Monday). Not supercut or superlean but -- for me -- the perfect kind of in-shape regular guy physique. Not a bodybuilder but rock hard abs and arms, meaty butt, etc. And if you want a very sexy and truly deep voice bossing you around in a Jersey cocky way, I suspect he'd have a lot of fun with that request and that you'd be quite pleased with the results...

@JJKNYC212: he's legit, fun & very clear in his communication. Some specific limits on his availability/schedule; well set for in-calls. Happy to engage specific questions & add detail via DM.

I'm pretty sure I've been to a previous iteration of this party. (A gent who couldn't do an incall suggested that we meet at the party, with the understanding that his time/attention would be mine.) It was operating under a different title, but the organizers were the same. The mandatory clothes check is the same. It's been years but I recall the quality of guys being pretty hot, leaning a bit older/stockier but nice array of types. I probably wouldn't have rated much attention on my own but -- because my playmate was a stunner -- they had to be nice to me if they wanted in on the action.

Thanks for this update, @TruHart1 -- so sad to hear this news, but glad to know... And so sorry for your and Raul's loss. Tyro and I enjoyed many a memorably frank/hilarious exchange via DM. Salty, indeed, yet always genuine and interested in my (then) newbie adventures with this hobby. Exemplified the best qualities of the folks who use this forum.

https://onlyfans.com/theclarkreid

If ANYONE can meet this challenge, I have faith that YOU CAN @Coolwave35!!! #DoIt

pleased to report that this gent's legit. very pleased.

RyanChambers: https://rent.men/RyanChambersFL

Ha! The names don't always align, do they? But whatever his name was he was looking quite fine on Saturday night, @Xavitv!