Strafe13

It's a shame that he's all bottom. The things I'd let that ridiculously sexy man do to me...

You missed the point. Asking if he bottoms makes sense because he listed as "Versatile/Top" and that can mean different things to different people. There are several threads going back many years about the confusion on these sexual position labels. He should have expected clients to ask clarifying questions about that, so don't worry about that one. The question of yours that makes it seem like you may have been wasting his time is asking if he's part Dominican when his ad clearly stated that he's Arab and Dominican. Unless you needed to know his precise ethnic mix, that seems like a redundant question.

You previously said in post #23 that he stopped responding when you asked him if he bottoms. Now it's because you asked if he's half-Dominican. Which one is it? The first reason makes him sound like a jerk, since he checked off "Versatile/Top" in his ad. Most of us would likely agree that such a selection pretty much invites this type of follow up inquiry from a prospective client. But since he says that he's Arab and Dominican in the body of his ad, I could see why a provider would think that this type of question is probably from a time waster, even if you didn't mean it that way.

I concur that these pics are from a guy who used to work at the Adonis Lounge in NYC, a few years back. I never hired him for a personal meeting, but I enjoyed many sensual lap dances with him over a period of several months. I found him to be extremely attractive in person, but based on his lap dance style, I'm surprised he to read that he used to market himself as an exclusive top. Feel free to send me a private massage if you'd like to know more details, @dutchal.

Fascinating. If I were to go that far out of my way, (80 minutes north of NYC), it'd have to be at least for a day trip, so I'd want to book a multi-hour session, or maybe even an overnight. For that investment of time and money, I'd need to learn a lot more about them first. I hope a forum member or two can relay some positive experiences

Me too, about 3 weeks ago

Guess it really just depends on the individual escort and the kind of service he likes to provide. It's definitely frustrating, since we often hear from escorts here that communication is key, and clients should be direct and say/ask for what they want. But then if we do, that can set off an escort's time-waster alarm. Of course, what one escort may view as a sign of a flake, others take as indicative of a serious client's interest. There's another thread currently going on where this paradox is being discussed. It'll have to be trial and error, then. Thanks for the feedback.

I'd really prefer to hire escorts with multi-hour rates too, as I like having longer sessions that are much more intimate and "courtesan like." Since rentmen has removed the rates for U.S.-based viewers of the site, it's really hard to search for guys who offer multi-hour rates. Every now and then, I'll see a provider who lists a rate structure in the body of his ad, but those are rare and don't seem to last long, so I suspect that the site admins remove that info if/when they come across it. When I've tried asking providers in whom I'm interested about multi-hour rates, they usually don't understand why I don't just do simple multiplication for their hourly rate, and I get the sense that they're annoyed and think I'm wasting their time. Have you guys found an easier way to broach that topic without coming across to the escort as a haggler who's trying to get over on him? Or is it just the luck of the draw on finding those seemingly rare escorts who like and incentivize longer sessions?

Perhaps. But folks on this here internet tend to fudge personal stats all the time. In my experience, men will usually add an inch or two to their height (and manhood, too ), while most people tend to provide a weight that's significantly lighter than what they truly weigh, often in the 10 to 20 pound range or more. I agree that this guy's impressive musculature looks like he'd be heavier than the build of 6'2" and 190 pounds that he's listed. But if he's closer to 6-feet and around 200 to 210 pounds, then those photos would reflect a build more in line with those stats. That being said, WTF cares? The guy's freaking gorgeous! Hope he's real.

I wish I could give you better advice, but I still don't really know the real difference between Only Fans and Just For Fans, so I can't offer much advice on how to market on those sites. I'm more of a "hire a guy in real life" type of client, and wish I'd taken the opportunity to see you when you were based out of NYC. My main issue with those fans sites is that they don't provide a real preview of the guy's page before subscribing, so I can't be sure if I'd even get much value out of it without knowing whether the page offers what I like. I signed up for one of those Fans pages (don't remember which site, at this point) several months ago pre-pandemic just to support one of the strippers I used to get lapdances from at the Adonis Lounge here in NYC. I didn't find it to be all that interesting, but that might be because he was still working the kinks out on his page (the guy's a total sweetheart, although he's straight, so that might've been part of my issue with it). Take the following advice with a grain of salt, given my limited experience with those forms of media. But, I'd personally like the more explicit content, with videos of hot scenes (either solo or with other hot guys), and I find it strange that guys would be intimidated by that. Tutorials on hygiene, sex tips, and even healthy eating/cooking I'd find valuable as well. Maybe you could even have different subscription models allowing for separate access to explicit content and tutorial content. Just my 2 cents...

He sounds delicious! Do you mind disclosing his name and/or provider ad here or by private message?

? at "occupied" and "colonized"

We get it. You discriminate on the basis of race in the selection of your sexual partners. You also seem to really like doing that, since you've gleefully joked about basking in your privilege. Some of us think that racial discrimination is a generally bad thing that should never be done intentionally, and that if we find ourselves unconsciously practicing it, this should, at a minimum, be cause for introspection. You think that racial discrimination is perfectly fine, at least in the context of personal relationships (presumably sexual and romantic ones, although you've never explicitly stated such a limit). So, you let yourself off the hook for engaging in this practice because, per your reasoning, it's either not a big deal or it's not something that we can change. I'd argue that most reasonable, compassionate, and fair-minded people think that those last two assumptions are B.S. excuses, but whatever ... All of the above was really collateral, though, because this thread was started by a client of color, who wondered if he should disclose his race upfront in order to soften the blow of rejection from escorts who incorporate racial discrimination into their business models. Since the longstanding mantra on this forum has been that any escort worth a damn is a professional, this thread was supposed to be about discrimination in the provision of sex worker services. You're the one who made it all about yourself in an attempt to justify the supposedly "pure logic" of why your sexual partners "have to be caucasians" and "cannot be blacks and Asians." As if that somehow excuses escorts who categorically refuse to provide services to entire groups of people. Based on how you've explained your prejudices here, I think that most reasonable readers of this thread would conclude that it's for the best that black men and Asian men don't have to worry about being the objects of your affection.

I totally agree with this too, from a practical standpoint. In both the regular dating and escorting contexts, the rejected person should never *want* to be with a guy who'd categorically reject all persons of his racial or ethnic background. We can all understand the hurt and insult, but if the rejected person still desires to be with such a guy, he really needs to work those issues out in counseling. That being said, speaking solely with regards to escorting, when any other type of service is denied, our response isn't to tell the prospective employee or customer that they should have the dignity to not want to work at, or purchase there. We rightly shame and punish those discriminatory employers or businesses. You may not know this as a newer forum participant, but so many folks on this board routinely defend the discriminatory escorts, while in another breath saying that escorts are supposed to be professionals. Some of these folks have also been adamant that the discriminatory escorts shouldn't be viewed negatively for not listing their racial exclusions in their ads so that the clients could at least avoid the indignity of the personal rejection (either directly or via ghosting) once their race is revealed. For many here, it seems to be about denying the reality of racism and even protecting discriminatory escorts at all costs, clients be damned. Even actions from clients to protect themselves from this (by discussing providers with a history of racist or at least racially problematic statements and conduct) seems to be frowned upon. We've got a lot of work to do as a community, both online and in the real world.

I think I understand what you're saying here, but this is not just a past phenomenon. Yes, the reason why tests show that for people of the African Diaspora in the "new world" whom Western culture has taught us to view as "black," on average, up to 1/4 of our DNA is white European; and this is largely due to the regular raping of black women during generations of slavery. Since the "1-drop" rule classified these women's resulting offspring as "black," and not white, segregation ensured that until relatively recent times, nearly all of those children would eventually marry and procreate only with those also classified as non-white. But long after slavery there have been (and likely continue to be) interracial romantic and sexual liaisons where at least one of those partners is undoubtedly racist. As an example, Strom Thurmond, the infamous 20th century segregationist senator from South Carolina, comes to mind (he had a biracial daughter from his youthful dalliance with a black woman, and he financially supported her, despite being an avowed segregationist). I've also heard from Asian female friends bemoan how common it is for white men (including their former romantic partners) to fetishize them. They certainly don't appreciate that level of benign or unconscious racism, even if, as I suspect, most if not all of those guys probably would never think of themselves as having racist tendencies. Like I said, racism is itself very complicated, and often irrational, as are the varying and unpredictable ways it which it can impact human behavior, including our feelings and desires. I understand the temptation of so many to say that excluding racial groups in this context shouldn't be a problem because we like what we like, and we supposedly can't control that. This comes up each time these types of threads get resurrected on the forum. Notwithstanding the fallacy of the assumption that we're powerless to change what we think of as beautiful or desirable, there's a good reason why we shouldn't just throw our hands up and say that these attitudes are meaningless preferences undeserving of introspection. We've already seen at least two posters on this thread (including the OP) who've expressed the harm these prejudices can inflict on both client and professional alike. It is most assuredly not the same kind of rejection that we all must face at some time in the dating world based on our own individual traits or lack of connection with specific persons. Since the gay community is largely differentiated from the straight community on the ground of sexual/romantic attraction, such arbitrary exclusions of entire racial groups from the realm of possibility seems, to me, to strike at the very heart of what should be the bonds of our community.

No need to apologize, @Unicorn. We're having a civil, if not passionate discussion. It seems like you view racism as a personal or individual belief system, rather than as a multifaceted sociological phenomenon that includes, but isn't limited to, the former. Hence, your seeming inference that I was arguing that your Asian friend is an intentional bigot (which I wasn't saying). But acknowledging that we are inundated with our society's racist and sexist values doesn't mean that we are irredeemably bad, prejudiced people. You seem to be very resistant to the notion that we are all afflicted with implicit and explicit biases to some degree because we necessarily incorporate societal values into our personalities. We live in a society whose foundations include patriarchy and white supremacy, so it's inevitable that we would be impacted to varying degrees by this. When we hear examples of people who find entire racial groups unattractive, the notion that one would automatically dismiss societal influences as separate and unrelated sounds ridiculous to me. I also don't understand why you'd think that just because self-avowed racists can sexually fetishize people of the racial groups they despise, that this somehow proves that racism is entirely separate from how our minds get programmed (consciously and unconsciously) to process and develop all kinds of beliefs and feelings, including sexual desire. Both things can be, and are true -- unconscious or implicit bias can cause us to disregard entire racial groups as romantic/sexual candidates, even when we don't think of ourselves as holding racial prejudices; AND knowingly racist people can sexually desire members of other racial groups. The latter does not in any way prove that sexual "preferences" are entirely separate from racial bias. As another poster incredulously asked earlier, (and I'm paraphrasing, here): since we're really talking about RACIAL preferences in sex partners, how does declaring implicit RACIAL bias an entirely separate issue not sound ludicrous on its face? It seems like people are using "preference" as a safety word to avoid an uncomfortable reality. But acknowledging this reality doesn't necessarily make any of us "bad" people. Irrationally denying it does, however, raise a whole new set of issues for us to deal with as a society at large, and within the LGBTQ community.

Oh dear God. Seriously? What you took from that is that racism and sexual attraction are entirely separate issues because racists can be attracted to those against whom they're prejudiced? Does that also mean, for example, that sexism and sexual attraction are also entirely separate issues because misogynistic straight men are sexually attracted to women? The points that you and the other guy seem to be willfully refusing to see are that there are degrees of racism and bias, and that we are all affected in many interrelated ways by living in a culture where white supremacy (and also patriarchy) is the dominant ideology. Sometimes people are fine with their children befriending those of different races, but draws the line at dating; or is okay with dating but draws the line at marriage or having kids. Or people are fine with working alongside women or colleagues of a different race, but get uncomfortable if the woman or person of color is their boss. These are simplistic examples of the degrees of racism which wouldn't always get revealed if the relationships stayed at the level at which the person remained comfortable. Some of these people may not even have realized that they had these biases until confronted with the new situation. Everyone in this society, even those of us who feel we're not racist or sexist, have been inundated with these ideologies and cultural norms our whole lives, causing them to manifest in various ways which often surprise us and appear counter intuitive. So, as in your example, you'll get a gay Asian man who's not attracted to other Asian men, or even a black person who doesn't find darker skinned black folk attractive. Members of these communities of color speak often as to, sadly, how common this is that racism is so pervasive that it can unconsciously impact us in ways we'd never think to expect. So why would white people, even well-meaning ones who sincerely don't view themselves as racist, be immune from this phenomenon? How you take that as illustrative of the notion that racism and sexual attraction are entirely separate issues defies logic.

Oh my goodness. There's so much wrong with this that I don't even know how to wrap my head around it all. First, your general premise that preferences and racism are entirely separate issues is just flat out wrong, and I think you'd be hard pressed to find many credible social scientists who'd agree with that. As others in this thread have commented, what we find attractive, acceptable, reasonable, normal, etc., are not the result of benign innate mental processes. They're caused by a complicated mix of learned behavior and values, of which we may or may not be both consciously or unconsciously aware. Anecdotal stories do nothing to undermine the conclusion of a scientific study, even if it yields results that you find hard to accept, or uses terminology like sexual racism, with which you are uncomfortable. That you have an Asian friend who doesn't see other Asians as attractive doesn't prove that sexual preferences aren't a manifestation of racial prejudices. In fact it may prove the opposite - that white supremacy so infects our culture that it can result in someone who is unable to appreciate the physical beauty of people with whom he shares a racial or ethnic background. "I do think it's safe to assume that it's very rare for someone who is racist to be sexually turned on by members of the race for which he's racist against." -- Pardon my French, but are you freaking kidding me? Rather than being "safe," the general applicability of this assumption is pretty much conclusively disproved by human experience throughout history. That members of the African diaspora (i.e., black people from the Americas and Caribbean who are descendants of slaves brought to the "new world") have, on average, about 25% white European ancestry is living proof of the absurdity of this premise. There may be individuals to whom your assumption applies, but by and large, human beings can have all kinds of terrible beliefs and feelings about other groups of people but still be sexually attracted to members of those groups. Your conception of racism is way too limited, and these issues are far more complicated and multifaceted than your mostly anecdotal analysis will admit.

I had the pleasure of riding in an elevator with him some years back. He's a total hunk in person. Like, I'm usually not into super muscular guys, but I was dripping in his presence.

In person, Dylan is actually even more handsome, if you can believe it. His smile is beautiful. But I may be underestimating how my perception may have been influenced by his personality. He was so polite and kind, unlike a lot of dancers who can come across as a bit standoffish (which, I recognize can be more of a defense mechanism in that line of work, but that's a whole other topic).

I can vouch that Dylan gave really sensuous lap dances when I saw him at the Adonis Lounge in Los Angeles last year. He was very sweet and polite, and as handsome as he is in his photos, he's even more so in person. I never got the chance to hire him for a private massage, though.

One thing I think that our community, in particular, must deal with in our new reality (or at least just me), is reassessing safety as regards to both casual and intimate methods of contact. For the past quarter century, we've known that certain intimate behavior like kissing and even oral sex is very low risk for HIV transmission, so we're accustomed to viewing those acts as "safe" or "safer" as compared to anal sex. COVID-19 turns all of that on its head because exposure to droplets of saliva and/or nasal mucus appears to be its chief mode of transmission. Kissing can now be a higher-risk behavior for a potentially lethal disease than anal or vaginal intercourse. That's hard to wrap my head around. Plus, it's unlikely that we'll have an effective and widely available vaccine before early to mid 2021, at the earliest, and the U.S.'s mass-testing infrastructure has been woefully inadequate. Given this current status, how many of us can really stay 100% celibate as to all sexual and/or intimate acts for a year or longer?

***Swooning, while this bottom slut logs onto RM and adds Mr. Powers to his Buddy List.***

Thanks for the info. If our schedules sync, I'll try him out.

Thanks, Boomer. Seems like he has good recommendations for his massage services. Nothing about his escort services, but there's a first time for everything, right?